บท 2: Ambivalence
III
'...Hello.' I sporadically speak, a little intimidated I don't know why by the aura of the stranger even though all he appears is approachable and friendly, 'I am sorry I was in a rush.'
The person is fairly tall and buff, his shoulders and mine almost touch. Under that plain black sweater, there is perhaps a stone fitted upon the flesh because I slammed pretty hard against his chest, and it felt exactly like that. Contrasting to everything, his face was a template of pristineness, soft and cheeks a natural highlighter. His double eyelids still creased to a soft curve, a line eyeliner drawn over flashes his eyes big as he speaks with a tapped smile on his face.
'It's okay. Are you sure you are not hurt...miss?' He stretches the last 's' to a hiss, his eyebrows travel up a bit in polite asking for a name from my mouth. I decide to gently disregard. I'm in hurry and this gentlemen doesn't need to know my name anyway.
'Yes, I'm fine. Have a nice day.' I jog past his figure and scout along the main street. The street is busy as hell, even the number of heads heading for the tube station is unenumerable. Luckily a taxi just drives past me just as I fling my arms round in the air. Before I hop in, for an instant, my eyes decide to roll back. The person is not standing there anymore, but I see him off at a little distance. His side profile is still perceivable from here. Something ticks in my head unclassified, like a curtain blowing and hitting my face covering the window behind it. I don't know what it is, I can't tell. A deja vu rush, but as simple as that, it's irking a bit not knowing what's up with the guy, or why meeting him is making me feel like this. The taxi driver yells to get in quickly or he'll move, so I hurry. One lecture was already half the way done by the time anyway.
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'So, I hope everyone got a hold of all the instructions? Then please be sure to submit the required within these weeks.' With that, the professor gathers his sheets and everybody gets up in a line of throng through the hall exit. I wait until the number of people died to a small numeric, then I rush to the front board with a view to getting a little word.
'Excuse me, Professor?' Hearing me call out, the man fixes his glasses before he looks up at me. 'Yes, miss? Y/N?' He glances at my name tag. 'The girl who came just when my lecture was about to end today?'
I smile sheepishly, knowing that he was just cutting a small joke, 'Uh, yeah, so I missed a few points because of that. I needed to know, is it mandatory to do this assignment as a group project? I mean, I can create this website sample by my own and-'
'Yes, it is.' His voice is back to the old usual sternness, so to say, the professor voice, 'I don't know if you can do whatever by yourself, it is about the communication and maintenance of a relationship with your co-workers.' A professor never misses a chance to lecture, 'I allowed everyone to form a group by themselves so that they can choose whoever they can work it, I allowed a big privilege through that.'
'But it's that,' I stammer to speak, to reveal the actual reason of my unwillingness, 'I don't have a lot of acquaintances actually, so I don't know who to work with either-'
'Then it's your time to make some. It's just the beginning of first year and you should be able to greet some peeps through this and upcoming projects. Best of luck for your work.' With that, he bids and walks out of the hall. I sigh and stand with the pile of papers stuffed in my hands. What does the man know what I, we have to deal with...
I decide to think of something about it later. I pick up my bag wading the papers in and leave the hall for the cafeteria. A small break of one and a half hour I have before the last lecture of the day. Walking past the door, I know my hopes of getting a seat is instantly buried in its grave. It's all loaded up, even not an inch of a place is left out so that I can stand with a lump of food to stuff my face.
'Y/N ah! Yah! Here! Look here!' I turn my head following the source of the voice. A familiar face beams, the owner waves their hand massively to draw my attention while the other arm motherly protects the tiny stool next to them.
I shoot a thankful smile and stomp over before someone else fights his hands away to take control of my possession-to-be. As soon as I throw myself down, a gush of air huffs out of my lungs at a time, 'Gee, thanks, Hobi.'
'Welki, I saved you a coffee too. I hope it's not cold yet.' He hands over a cup, 'And a sandwich. Everything else sold off. Except for drinks.'
'Sold off?' I widened my eyes, 'Like literally nothing left in there?' He shakes his head. 'Wow, just how many students read in this goddamn uni?'
'I know right.' He continues to pipe down his smoothie, 'Do you have any other class after now?'
'Yeah, one more. How about you?'
'Na. I am done for today.'
'So you are leaving after this?' He nods and eyes me with pity, 'Your major seems pretty hard to me.'
'Well, CSC is not too hard, but a lot of work to deal with. I wish you were in my major. I hate to be the quiet girl in the class.'
'Why is that? You are so talkative around me ever since the first time we met here. Why would you not have any friends yet?' I roll my eyes, 'I only talk when someone wants me to talk. Not with everyone. I am not a social butterfly like you, bruh.' He chuckles.
'Don't worry. You will be fine. Things will get a start just now.' He adds. I shrug a single shoulder with a gesture 'maybe', both of us quiet down to finish the last portion of our small meal.
Sujin's picture floats in my mind instantly at the short hour. Her small face of a moon with red cheeks and red lips, the way she was about to cry before going to school this morning itches me hard. I realize how much I miss her already. Even though therewwere a few times when I had left her with the babysitter as I left for college, but from now on, every morning hours, I will be away from her, every day. She's growing up so fast, like last day she was still unable to complete a full sentence and today, she's going to school? A small smile subconsciously captures my lips. Time flies so fast...
My brain starts to pick up the incidents of the day, the early hours, one by one. And pretty soon, I remember the boy. The previous irking reminder snoozes up.
'That...guy...' I mumble. 'Which guy?' Hoseok picks up my lowly spoken clause, 'You met someone already and didn't tell me about it?'
'Nah, it's nothing like that.' I take the last bite of my sandwich, 'I just bumped into a guy before and I don't know, he just appeared too familiar to me, although I've never seen him before. Kind of, you know, deja vu feeling?'
'Is he handsome?'
'Why is that coming as a question? Well, yeah, somewhat.'
'Oh, I get it. Those mate stuff I read, souls of soulmates connected to each other, born, reincarnated to be together until the universe dies. The stories start with something like this.' He burps.
'Yah.' I hit him on his arm, 'Stop that cringe. I am not joking. But...never mind. It's nothing.'
'You might have seen him somewhere before, like a shopping mall or maybe, college? Was he a student?'
'I don't know. He appeared young though. But leave it.' I decide to shrug the topic off.
'By the way, how's Sujin?'
'Oh yeah, Sujin-ah,' I can't but instantly smile, His lips elongate too with genuine affection . He knew I was just thinking about her. Of all the fewer people I know, Hoseok is the only one who didn't judge me in the first place, with no knowledge on the backstory of me and the daughter I am raising, he didn't even ask me anything about it either. Besides, the who to pay most visits to meet Sujin, it was him too. There's nothing to not love about him, I knew from the first day at college when he had approached me and asked for directions through that glow of smile always available on his face even in gloomy days. Sujin loves him back the way he does. It didn't take her much time to remove the uncle title and supplant with a loving Oppa on the Hoseok. One small ball of sunshine loving her like. Sometimes even I can't help seeing the interactions of these two.
'She started school today.' 'There goes her free and lovely life!' He says it dramatically. 'Don't say that.' I laugh, 'She is probably running with other kids that she isn't even recalling me at the moment.'
'When will her school end?'
'By noon. My lecture is gonna end a bit late today. The teachers are there. They will look after her until I reach.'
'I can go pick her up.'
'Na but thanks, Hobi. Your place is too far from the school, you don't have to take the labor. It might take me fifteen to twenty minutes at best. She will be fine.'
'If you say so.' I scramble the tissues and the foil paper to a ball to throw to the trash bin. I stop as my last brain cells wake up, and they succeed to process and integrate everything all of a sudden due to full stomach. My jaw hangs down slightly in a low appall.
'Oh boy.'
'What happened?' Hoseok questions, staring confused at my advanced level of confused face.
Sujin.
I must have gone crazy. But.
That boy's looks match with Sujin's.
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