บท 13: 12th Dilemma

AKI

I AM still baffled by the fact that I became pregnant. I mean… I wasn't expecting it at all!

Since the day we knew that I was growing another being inside my belly, Chihiro decided to take me to his place — to keep watch on me and make sure that I would not get stressed again. Muntik akong makunan noong isinugod nila ako sa ospital nitong nakaraang linggo. Part of it was because of the early pregnancy symptoms I was experiencing and the majority was due to lack of sleep and stress that I went through because Chihiro and I had a big fight.

Thinking back, I didn't become pregnant when we first had sex and he was in heat that time but why for the second time?

"Sensei, pasok ka. Maupo ka muna, ha? Ipaghahanda kita ng makakain at maiinom," Chihiro offered with such care, even holding my hand to assist me.

「Nabuntis lang ako, hindi napilay,」 I sighed to that sarcastic thought just now. I knew I'm an irate person but these past few days, my irritability became more noticeable. I was aware of it but couldn't help it at the same time. I wonder if Kicchan was also like this when he was still pregnant?

Naupo ako kagaya ng sabi ni Chihiro. I've been to this place before but I never had the chance to check every detail. I could smell Chihiro's pheromones all over and it made me dizzy. Of course, he didn't do it on purpose. Most Omegas do that all the time but they are clueless that they're emitting their pheromones. That's why they are prone to being attacked by random Alphas when they are like this on public. And those pheromones get stronger when they are in heat. But most likely, when Omegas emit too much pheromones, there are several factors to that: one is that they frequently go into heat or it's almost their heat period.

Bonded Omegas no longer experience heats and only their Alpha can smell their pheromones, too. But many say that a bonded Omega becomes too dependent on his Alpha. If they feel the urge to have sex, they can't calm down unless their Alpha tends to them which is why it's burdening to an Omega to be separated from their mated Alpha.

But in our case, Chihiro and I are not yet mates. There's still a high chance for him to be harassed by other Alphas and if that happens when my belly starts to become big, I won't be able to protect him. It's easy to say that I should just bite him the next time his heat arrives but it's not that simple. I don't have his parents consent and what's worst is that his Alpha father doesn't like me. He knew very well that I was no good for his son who gives in to love that easily, thinking that a happy fairytale ending was true.

「I should face his parents before this becomes controversial. And what about my job? If I stop now, Chihiro won't be able to support the both of us… and our child,」 I helplessly thought while drowning into my own worries.

Kakaisip ko ay hindi ko namalayan na nakabalik na si Chihiro. May dala na itong tasa at platito na may lamang ilang piraso ng chocolate cookies at maingat na inilapag ang mga iyon sa maliit na mesa na nasa harapan ko. "Marahil gutom ka, Sensei, pero nakalimutan ko na hindi pa pala ako nakabili ng stock na pagkain kaya iyan lang ang maibibigay ko ngayon. Sana ay okay ka lang sa mainit na gatas," pagpapaumanhin ni Chihiro bago ito naupo sa tabi ko.

"No, this is fine," I softly said, averting my eyes from his stares.

"Wala bang masakit sa 'yo, Sensei?" nag-aalalang tanong nito. I just hurt his feelings not long ago but why does he act like I did nothing wrong? I shook my head without showing any hint of drinking the hot milk and eating the cookies that he offered which made Chihiro worry even more. "Ayaw mo ba sa cookies, Sensei?" he suddenly asked with a disappointed look on his face. "K-kung okay lang sa 'yo pupunta muna ako sa convenience store para bumili ng makakain."

"Chihiro, there's no need," giit ko at napasimangot ako na lalo n'yang kinalungkot. Stop being so nice. You're making my heart skip a beat here.

"He he," he tried to alter the awkward seriousness around us by mocking a forced laugh. "Siguro ay pagod ka na. Gusto mo bang magpahinga?"

"I'm fine now. You already took care of me back at the hospital. There's no need to be overly attentive to me, Chihiro. You have done enough," I tried to make him feel better but that had an opposite effect on Chihiro.

"Patawad talaga, Sensei," he suddenly apologized and started crying. "Alam kong galit ka lalo na at hindi planado ang lahat. Patawad kung nasaktan kita, Sensei."

"Seriously, when will you stop apologizing like an idiot?" I muttered but he must have heard it because he looked my way with tears still trickling down his cheeks. I took that chance and gave him a gentle peck on the lips. "I am not mad, okay? I'm just overwhelmed by everything," pag-aamin ko at sinandal ang ulo ko sa malapad n'yang balikat bago huminga ng malalim. "I didn't think we'd be able to have a child. Personally, I never thought of having one since I can't be loyal to someone and I always played around. And I was sure that an Alpha having a child with an Omega was slim."

"Sensei…"

"I'm gonna talk to your parents, Chihiro. I have to clear things up and face all of these like a real man," determinado kong saad at hinarap siyang muli. "I will be frank to you. I am still unsure of my own feelings but thinking that I might lose you one day gave me a fright."

With that said, Chihiro gave me a sudden torrid kiss. He was strong so I was easily pushed down on the couch when he leaned forward while kissing me hungrily. I had no time to react and ended up responding to his longing. Because I was longing for him, too.

"Aki-sensei…" Chihiro called out between our kisses. He was rubbing his front bulge against me, telling me how aroused he was. Ah, fuck. I want that cock inside me this moment but I can't.

"It's 'Aki', Chihiro…" I breathed before cupping both of his cheeks and made him look into my eyes. "You are now forbidden to call me 'Sensei' starting today." His eyes literally glittered upon hearing that and I just felt his manhood get hard. He's ridiculously honest — both him and his cock!

I thought he'd cry out loud like a freaking kid again but instead, he smiled with satisfaction. "*Aishiteiru, Aki [I love you, Aki]," he uttered this very softly, almost like a whisper in my ear and that made me extremely happy I could cry. Well, technically, I did cry a little bit. What was that for? That took me by surprise.

Umiiyak na pinahid ko ang aking mga luha habang panay ang pagtawa ko ng pagak. "Shit. I'm getting a little too emotional, don't you think?" sabi ko sa kanya at mas napangiti si Chihiro.

"Aishiteiru…" pag-uulit nito at tuluyan akong napaiyak nang husto bago ko pinulupot ang aking mga braso sa kanyang leeg. "Aishiteiru, Aki."

"Thank you very much, Chihiro," I said softly between my cries and we both cried together.

Ah. I feel so happy. This is too much. It's kind of weird to feel this way after all that I've done to this young man. Yet, he accepted me without thinking twice. I'm really loved.

━━━━━━ ◦ ❖ ◦ ━━━━━━

"Sa pagkakaalala ko, mariin kong nilinaw na lubayan mo na ang anak ko."

Nandito kami ngayon sa harap ng mga magulang ni Chihiro. We just declared that we were going to have a child soon and that we're not even mates yet. As expected, Chihiro's father gave us a disapproving look while his mom looked confused.

"I'm sorry for breaking my promise, Hanamichi-san," I sincerely apologized. "But I—"

"What were the two of you thinking?! Ang malala pa hindi pa kayo mates!" Nagtaas ng boses si Hiromi-san na ikinagulat naming lahat. Gigil na gigil ito na para bang gusto n'ya akong sunggaban pero dahil alam na nitong buntis ako ay nagpigil siya. "Nakakasiguro ako na alam mo na ang nangyari sa anak ko noon. Paano ako makakasiguro na iingatan mo siya at hindi sasaktan kagaya ng mga ginawa ng mga bastardong Alpha sa kanya noon?!"

"Tou-chan…" tinangka ni Chihiro na magsalita pero nanaig ang galit ng kanyang ama sa mga sandaling ito.

"Manahimik ka, Chihiro! Bakit ka nagpadalos-dalos? Alam mo namang mahirap sa isang Omega na walang mate at binuntis mo pa talaga siya!" halos sumabog na ang mukha nito sa galit.

Nasulyapan ko naman si Chihiro na napakuyom ng mga kamay bago ito nagsalita, "Tou-chan, mahal ko si Aki," giit nito.

"Aki?" nagtaas ng kilay ang kanyang ama. "Hindi ba't mas matanda sa iyo ang Alpha na ito? Bakit napaka-kaswal na ng tawag mo sa kanya?"

"Hiromi…" sinubukan naman ni Chidori-san na pakalmahin ang asawa sa pamamagitan ng paghawak n'ya sa mga kamay nito pero tila hindi ito umubra.

"Hindi nasasagot ng pagmamahal ang lahat, anak," ani Hiromi-san. "Ang pagpili ng mate at pagkakaroon ng anak ay seryosong desisyon. Ni isa sa dalawa ay hindi n'yo pinag-isipan nang mabuti," at doon siya nagsimulang maluha ng bahagya. "Ayoko na makita kang nasasaktan ulit, Chihiro. Masakit sa loob ko na wala akong magawa para maibsan ang pagdudusa mo noon at hanggang ngayon wala pa rin akong magawa."

"Tou-chan…" tuluyan namang naiyak si Chihiro. "Patawad, Tou-chan, Ma-chan… Nagkasala po ako at pareho ko kayong nasaktan pero maniwala po kayo, mahal na mahal ko po kayo at nagpapasalamat ako na kayo ang mga naging magulang ko. Ginawa n'yo ang lahat para mapasaya ako kahit sa simpleng paraan. Hindi ko intensiyon na saktan kayo o magrebelde. Hinding-hindi ko kayang gawin iyon sa inyo. Oo, minadali namin lahat at kapwa kami walang alam kung ano ang gagawin pero maniwala kayo, hindi ako pababayaan ni Aki at hindi ko rin siya pababayaan."

「Chihiro… Why are you so brave?」 Hangang-hanga kong isip habang nakatitig kay Chihiro.

"Izumi-sensei, ano ang balak mo? Sapat lang ba sa 'yo na malaman namin? Paano ang sarili mong pamilya?" biglang sabat ni Chidori-san sa usapan na ikinagitla ko.

"I have no plans on telling them," halos pabulong ko itong winika. Sabay-sabay naman silang nagkatinginan bago natuon lahat ng titig nila sa akin. Bakas sa mukha ng ama ni Hiromi-san ang pagdududa samantalang nag-alala naman lalo si Chidori-san.

"Aki…?" napatingin si Chihiro sa akin. Maging siya ay nalito sa sinabi ko. Kahit kailan ay hindi ko naibanggit sa kanya ang tungkol sa mga magulang ko.

A frightened expression suddenly enveloped my whole face as I looked at their eyes. Hindi ko maipaliwanag ang eksaktong dahilan. Paano ko ba ipapaintindi sa kanila na matapobre ang mga magulang ko? They expected high from me since the day I was classified as an Alpha. They wanted me to become someone that everyone would look up to. But I didn't become that person. Kaya naman itinakwil nila ako matagal na. Well, not literally disowned me but that was how it seemed to me when they were so opposed to the career that I chose. They didn't want me to become a doctor. My Alpha father wanted me to become his heir and so did my Alpha mother. To them, I was nothing but their doll. They've manipulated me to become a trashy Alpha like they were. Too bad my urge to be fucked was more dominant.

I was nothing but a failure to my oh-so-great Alpha parents.

"I… I can't tell you the details but I'm certain they won't care anyway," pag-iiba ko ng usapan sabay nag-iwas ng tingin.

"I'll assume na ikaw lang ang nag-iisa nilang anak at hindi mo sinunod ang gusto nilang mangyari kaya ganyan na lang ang takot mong pag-usapan sila," hinuha ni Hiromi-san. He was so fucking right!

"Hiromi, bigyan natin sila ng oras at pagkakataon na lutasin ang lahat. Hindi natin maaaring pabayaan si Izumi-sensei. Handa akong tulungan siya sa panahon ng kanyang pagbubuntis," ani Chidori-san na medyo kinakalma ko ng kaunti. How I wish my mother was like that, too.

Nagkatinginan kaming lahat bago napabuntonghininga si Hiromi-san. I didn't know if it was a sigh of dismay or a sigh of defeat because he didn't wanna argue with his partner.

He then looked at me intently. It was stern but there was no ferocity or hatred. "Fine. Tutulungan namin kayo na lutasin ito. I am still against it though but I will give you two a chance to prove yourselves," he declared and that relieved my heart for some reason.

"Maraming salamat, Tou-chan!" nagagalak na ani ni Chihiro.

"You two will live here until you've made up your minds na panagutan ang pinagbubuntis ni Izumi-san and decide to become mates for life," pahabol na saad ni Hiromi-san.

And all of jaws dropped, including Chihiro's mother.

「to be continued」