บท 37: Farewells
Farewells
Theon POV
The horses were prepared to leave. My companions and I had already gathered our things. At first, I was worried that Lady Alysanne would be a burden to travel with me, but it seems she is a skilled rider. More competent than I could have imagined.
Martyn Lannister tried to look brave, but everyone could see his eyes tearing up a bit. He will go with me too. Robb will take Willem Lannister to Winterfell with Kevan Lannister as other high-value hostages. The landed knights and other not-so-high-value men will be given to ser Edmure Tully and go to Riverrun.
Robb will leave four hundred men in Golden Tooth to protect it in my name. Edmure promised to send resources that the castle would need. No one dared to tell me to give up the castle to the Riverlands, but no one wants it back in the hands of Lannisters.
"Are you ready, Theon?" Thoros asked as I drew in my notebook.
"I am. What about others?"
"Everyone is ready to mount their horses."
"Lord Mallister?"
"He was waiting since the sun rose."
Lord Jason Mallister wasn't too happy to have to lead us to Seagard, where we would take a ship to the Iron islands. He wanted me out of the Riverlands the most, so he couldn't complain either.
Before leaving, I walked up to Robb, watching his men prepare to leave. It would take more time for his army to be ready, and I didn't want to wait any longer. It was already awkward to stay with the lords that knew I tricked them and made Freys attack me. It was an open secret.
"We will be leaving, Robb," I told the silent King.
"I prepared a letter for your father," He said and gave me a sealed letter. "I want you to deliver it to your father."
I ripped the letter open in shock at Robb and read it. To anyone else, it was a good letter that promised many things. Yet I knew what kind of person Balon Greyjoy was. So, after reading it, I ripped it into pieces and threw it to the ground.
"What in the seven hells, Theon?"
"I am not your messenger, Robb," I replied. "And the letter would be used against you in the future. Even if my father agreed to your words, if the contents of the letter were leaked, the other Kingdoms wouldn't be happy with it, not even the North. You shouldn't promise what others can take by themselves."
"You should have told me so. Why did you have to rip it into pieces?"
"Because I felt like it," I said. "I will try to steer the Ironborn in attacking the Westerlands and convince them to trade with the North, as we would need to sell our loot to someone. For now, don't think about forming a formal alliance. It is too much for my father to accept."
"Is that so? I guess I was asking for too much," Robb agreed. "Well, as long as the Ironborn attack one of the Kingdoms of the South, it will be a victory for me."
"What will you do with the Twins? How will you try to take it?"
"I would like a fast victory there, but that would be only naïve thinking. I will send Lord Bolton to the west with most of the men to besiege the tower of the west side. I will join Lord Hornwood and besiege the Tower on the east side."
"Lord Bolton? Why him?"
"He is the only one who thinks about the bigger picture. Lord Karstark and Lord Umber aren't suitable for a siege."
"Can you trust Lord Bolton?"
"He is lord of the North. He has pledged his loyalty to me."
"Everyone is loyal to themselves first. If it would benefit him, he will betray you."
"There is nothing for him to gain in doing so."
"Naïve," I almost yelled at Robb. "There is everything to gain in betraying you. Would Lord Bolton decline an offer from the Lannister to join the Freys and ambush your forces if he was promised the North? The war had just begun. Many things might happen."
"Would you have betrayed me?"
"For Lannisters? No, they don't have anything I can't take with my own hands. For my family, I might have to," It would be true if Starks didn't feel like my family.
"So, everyone is loyal to themselves first before anyone else?"
"Exactly."
"What a morbid world we live in. Is there no honor anymore?"
"What is honor?" I asked Robb. "To every man, the definition of honor would differ. The North and the Riverlands might praise your actions in the Westerlands, but others will call you a barbarian without any honor. Look at me, your men call me a hero, but I bet the whole Westerlands are calling me the most heinous demon in history. I would advise you to believe in everyone but never trust anyone."
"I will think about it."
"Take care, Robb."
I thought it was time I left him be. He is the King of the North. It is up to him to keep that title. I had my problems to think about and worry about. As I walked to the stables to get my horse, I met Lord Blackwood waiting for me.
"Lord Blackwood," I greeted him.
"I remember when you hit me," He told me. "And I will always remember when you saved me. Take this as a farewell gift. May it protect you from cold and rain."
"Thank you," I replied, taking a cloak made of raven feathers. "Well, goodbye, we probably won't see each other for a long time."
He only nodded at my words and left—what a weird guy. I took my horse and left for the gates, where everyone was waiting for me. Lord Mallister grumbled at my appearance, and his son smiled apologetically. I smiled back and came next to lord Mallister.
"Are we ready?" Asked lord Mallister.
"As ready as we can be," I replied, looking at everyone gathered.
Only Thoros and Anguy looked relaxed. Alysanne was tense, even if she tried to calm down by caressing her horse. Martyn looked back every five seconds, hoping someone would save him. Lord Mallister seeing this, only grumbled and started to lead us.
…
I let Martyn prepare the bonfire as I sat nearby and played with my squirrel pet Rocky. Martyn gathered branches and broke them into smaller pieces before lighting up some dried bark. He was taught or watched someone else lighting a fire, as he had no problem doing it himself.
Patrek Mallister was chatting with Anguy, joking and laughing. Lord Jason Mallister stood by the tree and watched us. Alysanne was preparing food for dinner. Lord Mallister's men stood nearby, setting a perimeter. I didn't know for whom he had done this, to watch Alysanne, Martyn, or me.
I dismissed my thoughts and took out my notebook. Using charcoal, I drew the red comet that fell through the sky. These drawings were for me to have something to remind me of the past and present. I knew that a time would come when I would forget.
When the fire was lit up, Thoros came back with more wood. Once he put more wood to let the fire into the blaze, he stopped and watched the fire. Putting my notebook inside my chest plate, I got up and walked up to him.
"What do you see, Thoros?" I asked him.
"Many things and little that I can understand," He replied. "It is the first time the Lord of the Light had shown me something in years. Yet, I can't comprehend what he wants me to see."
"It doesn't matter what your god wants to show you," I told him. "If your god shows the past, you can't do anything about it. We will see or hear about it soon enough if it is present that the Lord of the Light wants to show."
"And what if it is something from the future?" He asked.
"Then it is meaningless," I told him. "The future is not set in stone. It is ever-changing. So, whatever you see will change when the time comes."
"What if we can't change this future?"
"Then there is even less meaning in knowing it. We will face the future together, so don't think about it too much."
"What are you talking about?" Martyn asked with a perplexed face.
"About the meaningless of the future," I answered. "If you don't have anything to do, go help lady Alysanne."
"You shouldn't be too harsh on the boy," Patrek Mallister came next to us and wrapped his arm around Martyn's shoulders. "He is just a boy. Give him some slack."
"He stabbed me once, right through the shoulder," I said. "A child destined to kill is destined to die. But don't worry, your destined death is still long away, Martyn. For now, you will be my hostage so your father would behave."
"Will I ever meet my family again?" The Lannister boy asked.
"Maybe, maybe not. I hope you said your farewells well."
"Enough, Theon," Lord Mallister said. "I harbor no love for any Lannister, but there is no Ironborn that I would ever trust. You won't torment the boy for as long as I am here."
"The boy won't be a boy for long, Lord Mallister," I replied. "Soon, he will live with people he doesn't know, with people who will never grow to love or trust him. Soon he will discover what it means to be alone in the world. Then the boy will die, and a man will be born. That the only way for him to survive."
These words were meant to warn and prepare Martyn. From my experience, I knew that he would lose everything he had. He will have to harden his heart and resolve if he wants to one day return home to his loving family.
I left Martyn be for now and returned to my place under the tree. Sitting down, I took my notebook and wrote what had happened today. I wrote my thoughts and feelings because I feared losing them one day.
"You being too harsh with the boy."
"Do you pity him too, Alysanne?"
"No, no matter what, he still has home and family to return to."
"Yes, but we don't have something like this."
"What are you talking about? I lost everything, and if you don't remember, we are going to your home."
"Home, I can predict many will hold me in high regard once I come to Iron islands, but not even a single one will know who I am. Yet the doubt about me will still be with them. Am I a Greyjoy or a Stark?"
"What are you then? A Greyjoy or a Stark?"
"Neither. I am Theon, but no one will accept that answer, so I will have to pretend that I am a Greyjoy, as otherwise, I can only be a Stark in their eyes. This is a world where you must be someone, yet you can't be yourself. I am just worried that I will start believing the lie and forget who I truly am."
"Still, isn't it your home, your family?"
"No, it will be just another battlefield that I will have to win. The prize for my victory will be my family's trust."
I held no hope that my father would listen to my words. I knew he would not trust me. My uncles might praise me for my victories and keep me in high regard, but they would not serve under me. What I was afraid of most was my sister. I did not know what Asha would think of me.
Will she see me as a rival to the Seastone throne, or will she be proud of her brother? I knew I would have to watch my words and actions around everyone as I needed to win over them all. I need them to conquer the Westerlands.
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