บท 5: Same Energies
This was the very first time that I'd get to talk to her since that day. It was ten years ago. I'm completely a different man from the boy who stood there watching with shattered heart. I can't exactly remember how it completely felt. But as I looked at her, I remembered bits of the feeling. It's amazing how flexible time is. It has the ability to break or mend things. It once helped in breaking me to pieces. It was then the only thing that brought the pieces back together.
Ironic isn't it?
Well, I guess that's just how fate plays and I made it through. It wasn't an easy ride though...
• • • • •
~ 𝙼𝙰𝚁𝙲𝙷 𝚃𝚆𝙴𝙽𝚃𝚈 𝚃𝚆𝙴𝙽𝚃𝚈 𝙾𝙽𝙴
The sky colored itself grey like everything else inside me. I couldn't fathom the pain of watching so I walked away. Literally, along that empty street that was then a busy one, to a short bridge, to a busy market, to anywhere further away from that place. My mind was empty but my heart was full. As I took every step, it struggled to keep everything in. And with full symphathy, my eyes were there for my heart. Not to witness its downfall but to rain down on it. My agony reached the heavens that it cried for me too. Its tears hid every drop of pain my heart could no longer hold. Wet, tired, and depressed, my footsteps took me in front of the Zellwingers' gate.
• • • • •
~ 𝙵𝙴𝙱𝚁𝚄𝙰𝚁𝚈 𝚃𝚆𝙴𝙽𝚃𝚈 𝚃𝙷𝙸𝚁𝚃𝚈 𝙾𝙽𝙴
"urgh!" I felt the excruciating pain in my thighs again.
"oh? What happen? Are you okay?" Ariel asked.
• • • • •
~ 𝙼𝙰𝚁𝙲𝙷 𝚃𝚆𝙴𝙽𝚃𝚈 𝚃𝚆𝙴𝙽𝚃𝚈 𝙾𝙽𝙴
I was surprised. It was Ed who opened the gate. It usually was one of their many housekeepers. He must've seen me through the CCTV camera mounted on the edge of their highwalls facing the gate.
"What the hell are you doing?? Don't you know that there's a storm warning today??" He shouted at me while holding a transparent umbrella.
The rain poured roughly that it emanated a roaring sound. It mirrored the heaviness inside me. I couldn't hold them tears back. Although my whole body was dripping with rain, I just stood there. Staring at thin air, and just letting the camouflaged tears go. And for a second, a good friend knows I am not okay.
"Hey, come here." Ed got out of the gate and held the back of my head against his left shoulder.
Right there and then, under the heavy sadness from the heavens, I poured my whole heart out.
• • • • •
~ 𝙵𝙴𝙱𝚁𝚄𝙰𝚁𝚈 𝚃𝚆𝙴𝙽𝚃𝚈 𝚃𝙷𝙸𝚁𝚃𝚈 𝙾𝙽𝙴
"f****ck!" I screamed as Ariel straightened out my right leg and pushed it back at me.
"It'll be over soon. Just stay still okay?"
• • • • •
~ 𝙼𝙰𝚁𝙲𝙷 𝚃𝚆𝙴𝙽𝚃𝚈 𝚃𝚆𝙴𝙽𝚃𝚈 𝙾𝙽𝙴
We were in Ed's room. I just stood still dripping with rainwater. He lent me some of his clothes and turned on the heater to keep us warm. He took my belongings and put it on a mini drier. I was still quiet. Only a few words came out my mouth. After I finished changing, I sat on the sofa beside his bed. He then, sat infront of me, on his bed. Then he asked me what all those was all about. Although it hurts going over the events again, I still told him everything. Every detail. After all, I needed to vent out everything I have been keeping for weeks.
"I'm sorry I wasn't there, Joe."
• • • • •
~ 𝙵𝙴𝙱𝚁𝚄𝙰𝚁𝚈 𝚃𝚆𝙴𝙽𝚃𝚈 𝚃𝙷𝙸𝚁𝚃𝚈 𝙾𝙽𝙴
"It's okay now, you can stop pushing."
The pain alleviated.
She stopped and put my leg on the bed gently.
"You shouldn't be stressing yourself by getting up, Joe. It'll worsen your condition. If you need anything, you could call the nurses by tapping on the--"
"the green light on the IV stand. Then an AI will assist me named Nurse Alexa. I created this, Ariel."
"oh, right. You're "the" Joe Madrid now."
Hospitals also has embraced AI modernization. AI Alexa for example serves as the brain for The Metro Cagayan de Oro Medical Center database and operations, the most modern hospital in the country. Nurses follow the instructions given by the AI as it keeps tabs on the medications, treatments, and schedules of each patient. Even surgeries, especially transplants of main body organs are performed by Sugeons with AIs. AIs like Alexa could assist a hundred surgeries at a time while ensuring all patients receive top grade medical assistance.
• • • • •
~ 𝙼𝙰𝚁𝙲𝙷 𝚃𝚆𝙴𝙽𝚃𝚈 𝚃𝚆𝙴𝙽𝚃𝚈 𝙾𝙽𝙴
"hey, listen. It's not the end of the world because a girl named Ariel dumped you for someone else better than who you are now. It's fine being broken, Joe. It's fine being not enough because only then you'll know that you can be more. It's a part of the process, dude. Great things are yet to come. The fact that she left was the exact point of why she's not the one. She's still out there somewhere, Joe." Ed said as he gave me a cup of hot brewed black coffee. I so love that brand of black coffee that I still drink it up until now.
"And you are a freaking total package dude. You are "the" Joe Madrid. The smartest person I've ever known. Top of the class, graduated Suma Cumlaude, with great physical qualities, cool-nerd, and with a big heart. The best. I'm sure you deserve the best as well. So if you'd ever lose her, that only mean one thing, the best is yet to come." a kind of encouragement one can only get from a person who truly care. Back when we were in middle school, he always got my back. Although we were always being compared because we were the ones who were fighting for the top all the time, it really didn't matter to us. Instead we were a team. A powerhouse of two.
• • • • •
~ 𝙵𝙴𝙱𝚁𝚄𝙰𝚁𝚈 𝚃𝚆𝙴𝙽𝚃𝚈 𝚃𝙷𝙸𝚁𝚃𝚈 𝙾𝙽𝙴
"Beats me. Why are you here?" The ultimate question.
"I received a message from Dr. Chan saying that I should look after you for now as he needs to attend to something important. So, I decided to finally pay some visit to my new patient"
"But why you? And how in the world did you two knew each other?"
"He was my professor back in the day. I topped his class so he offered me an apprenticeship program after I finish. He trains me to become a successful Neurologist like him."
What a freaking small world.
• • • • •
~ 𝙼𝙰𝚁𝙲𝙷 𝚃𝚆𝙴𝙽𝚃𝚈 𝚃𝚆𝙴𝙽𝚃𝚈 𝙾𝙽𝙴
"Hey, why don't you just stay here for awhile? ya know, chill. Here." Ed tossed me the TV remote.
"Make yourself at home as usual. I'll just grab us some snacks."
Ed went downstairs leaving me alone in his room. It's in the fifth floor of their mansion. It'll take awhile before he comes back up. So I just sat there and turned the TV on. I don't really watch TV back then but it just felt so quiet and lonely. I then looked around and realized that it's been a year since I last visited. Life happened for the both of us so we kinda worked our way around it first. He had changed his wallpapers as well as his Gaming PC. Normally, I'd jump on that black & red gaming chair and start playing as soon as enter his room but now I just don't feel like it. He had some new Attack on Titan action figures alongside his other anime collections. The Moon Cactus by his window sure was a lot bigger compared from my last visit. But one thing hadn't change, it's the view from his window. Where one could escape from the urban world to the sound of waves crashing to some rock boulders about fifty feet down while feeling the fresh breeze racing to ones skin.
"Joe!" Ed called me as I was by the window. He sound terrified with something about the news on TV. Curious, I looked closer. It was a report about a landslide incident.
𝚍𝚎𝚊𝚍 𝚘𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚙𝚘𝚝
𝙰𝚕𝚖𝚊 𝙰𝚖𝚊𝚛𝚒𝚕𝚕𝚘
𝙰𝚕𝚏𝚘𝚗𝚜𝚘 𝙱𝚞𝚜𝚌𝚊𝚝𝚘
𝙰𝚗𝚐𝚎𝚕𝚊 𝙲𝚊𝚝𝚛𝚎𝚍𝚒𝚕𝚕𝚊
𝙳𝚊𝚗𝚒𝚎𝚕 𝙹𝚊𝚖𝚎𝚜 𝙲𝚊𝚝𝚛𝚎𝚍𝚒𝚕𝚕𝚊
𝙴𝚕𝚜𝚒𝚎 𝙼𝚊𝚍𝚛𝚒𝚍
𝙰𝚒𝚔𝚊 𝙹𝚊𝚗𝚎 𝙼𝚊𝚍𝚛𝚒𝚍
𝙹𝚘𝚑𝚗 𝙼𝚊𝚛𝚔 𝙼𝚊𝚍𝚛𝚒𝚍
𝚆𝚒𝚕𝚕𝚒𝚎 𝙼𝚊𝚍𝚛𝚒𝚍
𝙹𝚞𝚊𝚗 𝙲𝚊𝚛𝚕𝚘𝚜 𝙼𝚊𝚍𝚛𝚒𝚍
𝙺𝚊𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚎 𝙼𝚊𝚍𝚛𝚒𝚍
𝙺𝚒𝚛𝚊𝚓𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝙼𝚊𝚍𝚛𝚒𝚍
𝚉𝚒𝚊 𝙹𝚎𝚊𝚗 𝙼𝚊𝚍𝚛𝚒𝚍
𝙹𝚎𝚗𝚗𝚒𝚏𝚎𝚛 𝙼𝚊𝚍𝚛𝚒𝚍
𝚂𝚊𝚛𝚊𝚑 𝙼𝚒𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚊
𝙹𝚘𝚜𝚑𝚞𝚊 𝙼𝚒𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚊
and so on,
• • • • •
~ 𝙵𝙴𝙱𝚁𝚄𝙰𝚁𝚈 𝚃𝚆𝙴𝙽𝚃𝚈 𝚃𝙷𝙸𝚁𝚃𝚈 𝙾𝙽𝙴
"𝙳𝚛. 𝙳𝚎𝚕𝚎𝚘𝚗, 𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚗𝚞𝚛𝚜𝚎 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚙𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚎" AI Alexa called for her.
"That's me. Be right back."
She smiled then walked out the room.
Alone. I never moved a muscle but my mind was not in that four-cornered room either. It was in that meeting Ed was currently attending and it was somewhere in the past Ariel's unexpected appearance brought about.
• • • • •
~ 𝙼𝙰𝚁𝙲𝙷 𝚃𝚆𝙴𝙽𝚃𝚈 𝚃𝚆𝙴𝙽𝚃𝚈 𝙾𝙽𝙴
"No. no. Tell me it's fake news" I held a good grip on Ed's shoulders and shook him off that the snacks he brought fell one by one. I rushed to his drier and got my phone out. Luckily, it's all dried up. I turned it on and found missed calls, text messages, and chats from all of them; my family. Then, I remembered that day was the day we were supposed to go on an outing out of town; more of a huge family reunion. I totally forgot about it for I was preoccupied with everything that was going on about Ariel. They were looking for me. Mom said she cooked and brought my favorite dish 𝐵𝑖𝑐𝑜𝑙 𝐸𝑥𝑝𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑠. Aika was anxious around family reunions and was only comfortable with me around. She called about thirty times in a row and sent me about twenty texts. My uncles John and Willie called and texted me that they would have to go already. They told me to follow ASAP and the outing wouldn't be fun without me. Uncle John acted like my father-figure growing up. My dad died in action. He was a fire-fighter, a hero. My cousins Carlos and Katherine, daughter and son of Uncle John, was disappointed with me as that would be the chance for us to catch up since they moved to another city years back. Kira, son of uncle Willie, sent me a short video clip of how everyone was so busy talking in the Van. He also captured Baby Zia, the daughter of Ate Jenny, who was sleeping soundly in the arms of my mom. I also got some calls and chats from Ate Jenny, the eldest daughter of Uncle Willie, saying how could I miss such reunion, that might be none in the next few years due to everyone's busy schedule.
Sadly, her words was brought to life.
• • • • •
~ 𝙵𝙴𝙱𝚁𝚄𝙰𝚁𝚈 𝚃𝚆𝙴𝙽𝚃𝚈 𝚃𝙷𝙸𝚁𝚃𝚈 𝙾𝙽𝙴
Hours passed, I didn't notice that I fell asleep. Afraid of getting sprained again, I tried to call Cassandra, maybe she's done with the meeting.
"Hey, Cass. I'm starving."
It felt weird. She didn't answer back. And it has been almost six hours. The meeting should be done by that time.
"Alexa? I'm starving."
"Kitchen's now preparing your preferred diet, Ms. Madrid. Your meal shall arrive in approximately 8 minutes and 27 seconds." AI Alexa promptly responded. Something's not right.
"Override hibernation" Just a hunch.
"Hi, Joe. Finally. Ugh, I hate getting hibernated" she really was. But why??
"Hey, um. How the hell did you enter Hibernation mode? As far as I remember, I did not trigger that one" It felt wrong. Something off has happened.
And before Cassandra could answer, the door opened. It's Ariel. I could tell how tired she was when she appeared. Her hair was in a hairnet. She was so sweaty all over. There were blood stains on the blue coat that she wore and on her white undershirt. She doesn't look very happy. She just entered the door and sat beside it facing towards my direction. Her eyes were blank but if looked a minute longer, you can then sense the sadness in her.
"Hey, Ariel? What's wrong" I called out to her.
She didn't answer. Instead, she dipped her face under her crossed arms on top of her knees. Then, suddenly her shoulders began to shake. She cried. A lot. That her cries echoed all over the room. I didn't know what to do. I got up instantly forgetting all my injuries. If you are worried with the IV that was connected to my veins, don't be. IV stands in this era follows the patient through some sort of magnetic sensor technology. I strode my way to her.
"What's wrong?"
"We did our best to save him. I did my very best but it was too late" she looked me in the eyes. Her eyes were tired of crying. Her tears were mixed with her hair along the sides of her cheeks. Then I asked my self,
𝑫𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒚 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒈𝒆𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒂𝒕𝒕𝒂𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒊𝒓 𝒑𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒔?
Maybe. I don't know.
but there's something wrong.
Something I missed.
Something I never saw coming.
"I'm sorry, I know how important he is to you but I failed to save...
Dr. Chan"
• • • • •
~ 𝙼𝙰𝚁𝙲𝙷 𝚃𝚆𝙴𝙽𝚃𝚈 𝚃𝚆𝙴𝙽𝚃𝚈 𝙾𝙽𝙴
"I need to go to them, Ed. I need to see them. Help me. Please!" I pleaded to him as I went down their stairs.
"There are flood everywhere in the city right now, Joe. Surely, there are plenty of impassable roads now. The weather has not yet calmed down even a bit." He said as he followed me down.
"I'll take you" a big and low voice interfered our conversation.
It's Mr. William Zellwinger, Ed's dad. He raised Ed since birth. Ed's mom died giving birth to him. The late Mrs. Catherine Zellwinger. Thus, The name of the institution he built WCE corporation. Their initials. As Ed told me, Mr. Zellwinger was more of a CEO than of a father to him. He said Mr. Zellwinger had missed a lot of his birthdays because of work and comes back with toys and gadgets and stuffs. Ed had his grievances to his father that he only tells me about.
"But dad, it's quite dangerous and not to mention, you just got home" he went near Mr. Zellwinger and whispered. He thought I never heard him.
"Son, we know how it felt to lose a love one. Imagine losing more than one." Again. Whispers I could hear. I get it. Ed just cared for our safety but I can't help but be mad at him at some levels that time.
"Son. We'll get there." Mr. Zellwinger assured me. He had been calling me Son since our middle school days. For some weird reasons, he hated all friends of Ed back then, except me. More reasons why Ed and I are so close.
• • • • •
~ 𝙵𝙴𝙱𝚁𝚄𝙰𝚁𝚈 𝚃𝚆𝙴𝙽𝚃𝚈 𝚃𝙷𝙸𝚁𝚃𝚈 𝙾𝙽𝙴
Cold. Pale. Bruised. I never imagined that one of the most amazing man I have ever met in my life would end up in this poorly lit morgue. I couldn't stare at him for more than five seconds. I don't want to feel that pain again but it caught me red-handed and in that moment I again witnessed the horrors life could bring. I slapped myself, over and over. I wanted to overlap the pain I felt inside me with the pain I was feeling in every slap. I wanna punish myself because for the second time around, I wasn't there when the people whom cared for me genuinely needed me the most. I pleaded out to the heavens with all my heart and lungs. I couldn't stop losing everyone I cared for. No matter how powerful and rich I become, life has its way of bringing me back to that boy who failed everyone.
• • • • •
~ 𝙼𝙰𝚁𝙲𝙷 𝚃𝚆𝙴𝙽𝚃𝚈 𝚃𝚆𝙴𝙽𝚃𝚈 𝙾𝙽𝙴
The city was devastated. Ed was right, most streets were flooded and some were even erased in the map. A lot of cars were stranded. People swam on dirty floods just to get to where the needed to be. We could see everything up there. I never thought the Zellwingers had their own helicopter that time. Also, A private pilot. Mr. Zellwinger was with us. But none of it mattered to me. I was minutes away from everyone. Everyone I failed. Everyone that cared for me. Everyone I had taken for granted. I wanted to blame others. Blame it on Ariel. But no, I'm better than that. I realized it was my choice to feel the pain. It was my choice to ignore my phone. It was my choice to be drowned in misery. So this is my fault and not anyone's.
Moments later the helicopter stopped from advancing and began descending. I saw backhoes digging the pile of dirt in the highway just about 50 feet way from us. Helicopters and off-road trucks from both the military and the media were all over the place. People were running from and to all directions. Mr. Zellwinger approached one of the tent that was setup in the area. Ed and I stayed back in the helicopter. I appears that he knew some of the soldiers who responded. Minutes later, he gave us a signal to come out and follow him. In that very moment, my feelings shifted. Back then when I'm just meters away from them, I was afraid to see them. And just when I was about to run, I was there; in-front of several body bags. People whom I admired and loved reduced to dull black body bags. One by one, I opened each body bag. Each face I recognize was a stab in the heart. I couldn't measure how much pain I felt in every memory of the person I remember as I gazed into their dead body. Streams of tears flowed uncontrollably. Ed wrapped me in his right arm as he was in tears too. This time the rain couldn't hide the pain no matter how hard it poured. Their faces weren't as they were. It's as if I was grieving for the wrong corpse. But as much as I wished that was true, reality brought me back to the truth.
• • • • •
The truth that I have always despised to believe in. That the universe built me as hard as a rock boulder able to withstand every storm surge 50feet below that window. In the end, I thought that was a place for me to find peace and hide. But in some unusual way, it's the place where I found chaos as well. The same energies killed me in different times.
[𝚝𝚘 𝚋𝚎 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚞𝚎𝚍]
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