บท 2: Chapter Two - Lullaby
Mirajane gave Lee a pleasant smile. He was a little odd, but that was just normal, in the Fairy Tail family. Cana was currently drinking an entire barrel of alcohol, for example. "You wanted to join the guild?"
"Yes. I'm afraid that, much to my chagrin, I became distracted by other matters, and forgot to request membership. What must I do to join?" He spoke like he was a knight out of some story speaking to his liege lord. It was silly, but in an endearing way.
"Oh, there isn't really anything much. Just a simple contract that outlines how membership works. It isn't a magical contract or anything, don't worry."
"Then I will take this contract, read it thoroughly, and sign it with flourish," he declared, with an imperious pointing of her finger.
She involuntarily let out a small laugh at his over-the-top antics, and he didn't seem offended at all. "Certainly. Just a moment."
"Get me one too," came a female voice, sounding rather less enthused. It was his traveling companion - Mirajane hadn't caught her name. "I'm going to be hanging around with this guy anyway, so I might as well join the guild too."
"You make me sound like some brigand who kidnapped you," Lee said, faux offense in his voice.
"I mean, you basically did," the girl pointed out, making Mirajane pause, two contracts in her hands.
"She exaggerates! I chose her as my companion on this grand quest, she certainly isn't a kidnapping victim! She can leave at any time." It seemed like there was just a trace of anxiety on Lee's face as he said those words, as if he were inwardly sweating even as he kept up the facade.
"Yeah, it's more like you have to take responsibility for me, given all the things you've done to me," Konata declared.
Lee pushed up his sunglasses, suddenly more confident. "I would happily show you the things that I did to Konata just a few scant minutes ago, Mirajane, if you would allow me." The way he said it left no ambiguity he was referring to sexual things, and Mirajane just smiled. A bit of playful flirting between lovers, not anything serious.
"Oh, that's quite alright. I'm sure Konata would get jealous, anyway," she offered, placing the twin contracts down on the bar between them. "Now, read them and sign them.
* * *
A wizard guild contract seemed like some complex and epic thing, but this was shorter than most EULAs. The whole thing fit on a single page, and it didn't have any real legalese. It was about what you'd expect, so Konata signed it without hesitation. Lee's own signature was a flourish of a thing, and he received a stamp to his forearm before Konata even finished reading.
When she had, she signed her name. "Put the stamp on my stomach," she said. That way, if she wanted to hide her affiliation with the guild, she wouldn't get obviously caught out like how Lucy had during the Daybreak arc, because she'd gotten her stamp on the back of her right hand. It was a pretty goofy mistake, even for a gag manga like Fairy Tail, given that Lucy wasn't supposed to be an idiot. Mirajane stamped her on the left side of her stomach.
Then the ground shook a bit, a heavy thumping noise seeming to resonate through her whole body, creating this vague tingling in her ears and jaw as she glanced towards the door. Erza strode inside, carrying the five meter long monster horn over her shoulder. Some nameless side character that Konata didn't immediately recognize asked what the heck she brought along; Erza gave the story of how the locals had given it to her as a present, and she'd brought it to the guild hall.
She had a certain calm confidence to her demeanor, as she cast her gaze around the guild hall. With striking red hair and full plate armor, she made quite an immediate impression. She dressed down half the people there, complaining about Cana's drinking, Visitar's dancing, and so on. When she saw that Natsu and Grey weren't there, her gaze seemed to hone in on Lee.
Automatically, Konata took a couple steps to the side, away from him. Erza was a seriously dangerous person in a fight, able to intimidate basically every wizard in the guild, and Lee had a wide variety of incredible quirks which mostly seemed to make him really good at ticking people off and getting into fights so far. "A new guild member," she said, as she strode up to Lee, visibly looking him over. "I'm glad to see the guild is growing. I hope that the current lot haven't served to dissuade you from your membership."
"I am the great and mighty wizard Lee." Erza nodded and took that statement completely in stride, with a po-faced seriousness. "I traded blows with Natsu and Grey on my first arrival, but such was simply a delight."
"Those two fought you together?" She seemed surprised by that. Right, they were currently arch-rivals who hated each other. "I hope that it wasn't too bad."
"They didn't leave a scratch," he boasted, making her seem surprised. Of course, Konata knew that even if they didn't leave a scratch, that didn't mean it didn't hurt every time he got hit. In fact, since he was heavily clothed at the time, his healing would have been at reduced efficiency, so it probably hurt a lot.
"Then we're lucky to have such a capable wizard as a new member," she said, smiling.
"I'm lucky to be able to speak to such a beautiful woman," was his reply. She even seemed to smile slightly, and then Konata noticed that in his hand was a bra. He lifted it up with his hands. "A quite busty one, too, by the looks of it."
Konata raised her arms defensively, closing her eyes, fully expecting Lee to get kicked into the dirt. Instead, there was only the soft sound of Erza's voice, speaking as if what he'd just done didn't bother her at all. "That's an impressive feat you performed there. May I ask how you managed it?"
"I am one of the most talented bra stealers in the world," he explained, with utter, unbridled confidence, making Konata wince once again, only squinting at the scene before her.
"I see. May I have my bra back, then?"
"Of course. I would never deny such a beautiful lady whatever she wanted," he said, smiling and offering up her bra to her. When she reached for it, he leaned down to kiss the back of her hand. Rather than smack him like Konata fully expected - that's the classic response, isn't it? - she just faintly flushed, a slight pink note appearing on her cheek.
Then she was engulfed in bright golden light, and the bra disappeared from her hand when the armor reappeared. "While a fascinating talent, I would appreciate it if you didn't use it on me again, Lee."
"I'm afraid I can't promise that. My free spirit resists such commands, no matter how beautiful or powerful the woman making them." Okay, now he was definitely going to get it.
"Very well," she said, her gaze sharpening. "As long as you're prepared to pay the price for such indiscretion."
...he already had her bra in his hand again. "I'm always ready to pay any price, to chase down my dreams," he explained, lifting her bra up to examine it more closely.
"Give me back my bra," she said, sounding a bit testier this time. He obediently handed it over anyway, and once again she glowed with golden light and the bra vanished. "Since you've claimed to be able to best Natsu and Grey, you'll be coming with me on a highly dangerous mission I'd been planning to bring Natsu and Grey on. They'll be coming as well, of course."
"I hardly think of it as a punishment, to be made to accompany a beautiful lady like yourself." Alright, that had to be the last straw, right?! No... Erza was blushing faintly pink, swallowing and averting her gaze like a schoolgirl with a crush! There had to be a limit to his ability to seduce women, right? Right!? "May I bring Konata along with me, or would it be too dangerous?"
"Hey, don't drag me into this!" She wanted to laze around, not go on dangerous quests.
"Konata," Erza said. "If you wish to come with us, I can make no true guarantee of your safety, but I do not allow my comrades to be injured lightly." She placed one hand on Konata's shoulder, her expression utterly serious, only moderately ruined by the fact that once again, Lee had Erza's bra in his hand. He was even showing its size to her while Erza was distracted - she was a J-cup, apparently. Wow.
"Konata, if you choose to stay here, you'll be unable to enjoy all the unending delights I bring you," Lee said, his voice equally grave and serious as Erza's had been despite the obviously different subject matter.
Well... he was like, really really good at sex, so... "I'll come along."
"Hm." Erza paused, turning to Lee and instantly grabbing the bra from his hand, not even bothering to complain about it. "What delights might these be, if they get that sort of response from her?"
"The carnal sort. I am-"
"Please, say no more," Erza said, raising her hand. "It is crass to speak of a woman's sex life too freely."
* * *
Lucy could only wonder why Mirajane had forced her along on this mission. There was already Natsu, Gray, Erza, Happy, Konata, and Lee. Why did she need to be there?
"I can't believe you bought that ridiculous story of his," Gray said with a loud huff.
"I can't believe it either!" Natsu said. "He didn't beat us, he just kept getting kicked around the guild hall until we got bored!"
"I merely said that I was utterly uninjured, which was the truth," Lee replied.
Ah, that was why. They were all insane lunatics!
"Whatever the case may be," Erza said, "Lee will be joining us on this dangerous mission. I expect you to behave yourselves appropriately."
"I'll go along, under one condition," Natsu said.
"A condition?" Erza asked.
"What the hell are you saying, Natsu!" Grey hissed, with what actually sounded like a bit of genuine camaraderie. "I'll do anything for you any time, Erza! Don't worry about me!"
"Let's hear Natsu's condition."
"Once we're back, I want to take you on! I'm stronger than I was last time we fought," Natsu said, with a serious expression on his face.
"Very well. You have grown much in that time. I accept your challenge."
"I'm all fired up!" Natsu said, breathing out a gust of flame.
"If I can add a condition too," Lee said, making everyone turn to him, "it would be to have a bra that you have-"
"Ehh-eh!" Lucy hurriedly jumped up in front of him, covering his mouth with her hands. "Haha, a funny joke, Lee!" She was supposed to play peacemaker, that couldn't happen if he was going around perving on Erza! His incorrigible nature was maybe a little cute, or perhaps admirable, but this was a step well beyond reason! He was going to get himself killed! Gray and Natsu were both terrified of this woman!
"Let him speak, Lucy," Erza said.
Hesitantly, she removed her hands. "I would like a bra you have worn."
"Your request is denied," Erza said, immediately. "This is a punishment for your previous misbehavior, as you will recall." She grabbed the bra that had appeared in his hands at some point, then glowed golden as it vanished into thin air. "If you can behave yourself, and prove yourself worthy on this mission, then perhaps it can be a reward for your cooperation the next time we go on a mission together."
Lee raised one fist in triumph. Lucy just stared, dumbfounded by what was going on in front of her.
"Ah, the train has arrived," Erza said, dragging her massive load of luggage behind her.
* * *
Natsu lay unconscious with his head resting in her lap, her way of helping him with his motion sickness. Gray was showing off his ice magic to Lucy, who was quite impressed with his sophisticated sculptures. Konata was just laying in her seat, legs kicking at the air in boredom.
Her actual attention was on Lee, however. He was... startlingly handsome. She felt as if she should behave more strictly with him, but, beyond his... perverse behavior, she couldn't find much fault with him. Contrary to what some at the Guild had said about him, he didn't seem inclined to start a fight, and he was certainly better behaved than Gray or Natsu, who were at one another's throats whenever she turned away from them. All Lee did was steal bras, and he did give them back on request. Certainly, it was a violation of the common social norms, but was that truly such a grievous sin?
Especially as... it sort of excited her. There was obviously the fact that he had managed to do something like that, through the layers of her armor, showing off a startling degree of dexterity. She was intrigued, and would probably have justified to someone else that her staring was because she wanted to catch the moment of the act itself, to figure out how she pulled off such a feat. In reality, that wouldn't work, as her gaze wandered from his face, to his bare chest, to his face, to his bare chest, an endless back and forth that left her feeling all kinds of intense things, but she maintained a schooled, careful expression.
She couldn't let her feelings become too obvious. She just swallowed and tried to forcibly turn her attention back to Gray and Lucy. As they spoke about something she didn't pay much attention to, he pulled off his shirt, making Lucy squeal in distress, but she scarcely even noticed - her attention was on Lee, out of the corner of her eyes. She took in a deep breath, trying to steady her heartbeat...
* * *
Lee had wandered the train for a bit to stretch his legs, and now he was settling back down into his seat, pulling out a piece of paper and starting to scribble on it. Erza couldn't help but look at him, curiosity blooming in her chest. Was he an artist as well as a bra-thief? Were his hands as skilled with a pencil as at stealing clothing? Perhaps he would make a portrait of her, if she asked? He hummed, the paper twisting subtly, as if by some magic - then it reverted. The process repeated a half-dozen times, and then he finally turned the piece of paper over to face her. "Is this the guy?"
It was one of the four men she'd seen discussing stealing something on behalf of Eisenwald. She started at the picture, immediately going on the battle path. "Yes. How did you draw this?"
"I used time magic to fast-forward the picture, then repeated until I got it right."
An impressive technique, but it was clear to her that she had spoken without sufficient clarity. "I meant, how did you know what he looked like?" She corrected.
"Oh. He's a couple cars down."
Erza rose to her feet immediately, yanking on the emergency cord for an emergency stop. If a member of the Eisenwald guild - one who'd claimed he was going to steal some incredible artifact for the guild - was aboard this train, letting it continue on its path was incredibly dangerous.
Konata leaned over to Lee, whispering in his ear. "You're using meta-knowledge to cheat, you know?" Meta knowledge? Cheat?
"We can't be certain of anything. The path of canon is thin, and cannot be relied upon." He rose to his feet as well. Canon? Was he religious? Which god, or gods, did he worship? Perhaps she should learn about it, so she could better relate to him... "Let us put our all into this task! We cannot risk him or his guild using the Lullaby flute," he declared.
"The what?" Lucy asked. She paused suddenly, jerking in shock. "No- what?"
Lee semed confused as well. Konata just stuck her tongue out at him, having a sort of 'serves you right' expression on her face. After a couple seconds, he spoke. "Yes. It was a flute with a skull with six eyes on it or something. It's the Lullaby flute, the song it plays kills the people who hear it," he said, as if reciting from memory. "I saw it in his bag." He didn't sound like his normal self at all, as he spoke - then he quickly shook his head, pushing his sunglasses back up. "We must handle this with caution and precision."
"It's the Lullaby flute? That's... that's incredibly dangerous," Lucy said. "We do need to act fast."
The train finally came to a stop, and Erza grabbed Natsu by the hair, yanking him to his feet. He wriggled in her grasp, but he found his legs quickly. "What's going on?"
"A member of the Eisenwald guild is on this train with us - the one who stole the magic device I spoke of."
"The Aye-zen-vault?" Natsu asked.
"I just got done explaining this, Natsu, if you had simply paid attention, you would know this." Konata laughed at that for some reason, but Erza was too focused on the task before her. "This man is our target," she said, drawing up the picture. "Lee's impeccable artistic skills and keen eye for detail revealed him to us. Let's go."
* * *
The man was a capable fighter, but he was no competition for six members of the Fairy Tail guild. Even if Konata's magic appeared to consist of turning herself into a gargantuan sword, which she used herself, finding it stronger and more maneuverable than any of her other blades. The Eisenwald member attempted to grab for the flute in his baggage - it was just as Lee described, save for having three eyes instead of six - but Lee simply used his magic to place the flute back in his bag each time he brought it to his lips. In short order, she had brought the man down, binding his hands behind his back.
"That went far more easily than I would have expected," Erza said, letting out a sigh of relief as the man was bound. "Your comrades will never be receiving this dangerous flu-"
It was spewing out some kind of black and purple smoke. "You wizards... so boring and weak..." came a voice that could only be described as truly malign. Then suddenly the smoke was snapped back inside the flute. "What the- no, I'm coming out, I'm going to destroy all of you," it said, again smoke beginning to emanate from the flute's skull-mouth.
"I will never allow you free, monster. I can keep forcing you back into that flute until the end of days." There was a vicious, animalistic, demonic growl, the sound like some kind of being from another world, but Lee didn't flinch at all. He wasn't merely capable, quick-witted, and artistic, he was also confident and capable of effectively leveraging his unique kind of magic. An incredible man... the minor peccadillo of a bit of perversion was nothing, compared to that. "Or perhaps I could simply force you forward in time, to the point where these three have already defeated you?"
"You think I could be defeated by such petty wizards?" Demanded the demonic being.
"I know you could," he said, iron certainty in his voice.
"Oh yeah, he's right, it's Erza, Gray, and Natsu who defeat it if it gets out of there," came Konata's voice - she'd heard it frequently, as she swung the great blade in her hands about. "I guess it's better to do it in the middle of the countryside than crush the guild hall like in canon." There was that term again. Canon. "Oh, right! You can hear my thoughts. Uhh. Sorry, just musing, actually-" she became an ordinary girl again, with Erza's hands still wrapped around her ankle. "Totally forget what I was thinking about."
"Very well. Given your clear good intentions, you may consider it forgotten," Erza agreed. Whatever secret Konata - and perhaps Lee? - had, it was clear that they had the best interests of those around them at heart, or else they wouldn't have helped stop such a malicious force.
"Wow, I can't believe that actually worked," Konata said awed by her.
"I'm going to try burnin' it!" Natsu shouted, grabbing the flute and incinerating it before anybody could stop him. An alien scream escaped it, and Lee kept his hands up, ready for whatever being had been imprisoned within it to come to life. It didn't, though. It was simply gone.
"I can't believe that actually worked," Lucy said, echoing Konata's words a moment before, before turning her gaze to Natsu. "You idiot! What if he'd gotten free?!"
"Then Lee woulda just put him back... in the flute..." Natsu said, slowly beginning to process his plan properly. He had the look of one attempting to come up with some way that he was actually in the right the whole time.
"So long as we are victorious, and the threat handled, then I can consider this a blessed day, for the Fairy Tail, and Fiore!" There was no point in recriminations at this stage of the mission. It was a complete success in every detail.
Right up until the next stop, where the entire Eisenwald guild tried to seize the train and all its contents.
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