บท 22: Chapter 22: Leaving for Torton III
The realization that it might have only been gratefulness and not love which Serena felt for him made Geoffrey feel disappointed. For if that were the case, then what they shared in the past year could not have been real. That all along, he was only disillusioned by what he thought was Serena truly loving him.
However, even if that was true, it's already in the past and Geoffrey was not a person who liked dwelling in the past and the what ifs. He understood that even if Serena only felt gratefulness at first, it doesn't mean that it could not develop into love. She was already his and time was in his favor.
If someone could read his mind, they might say that he was being heartless, but a part of him was consoled when he thought that perhaps losing their first child was a necessary evil so that they can truly live beyond their past and move forward better and stronger.
And that was indeed what happened.
As the saying goes, only the truth can set you free. Although that was not exactly what happened in Geoffrey and Serena's case, there was still some sort of freedom achieved when they didn't have to worry about when their past misdeeds would come to light.
Thus, by the time when Serena's second pregnancy came, their love has already grown stronger and more genuine.
If there were still some lingering doubts or jealousy in the deeper recesses of Geoffrey's mind, this time, they have been completely eliminated.
Serena in her second pregnancy just glowed. Her happiness and love were so tangible that although Geoffrey had his own reservations (because he feared that the effect of the drugs was permanent or maybe the loss of their first child might still have lingering effects on her body), he too could not help but look forward to the possibility of their child, the culmination of their love, being healthily born.
However, it was not meant to be. Serena lost the child in a miscarriage, and it was more depressing the second time around. It was as he feared. The drug must have had an irreparable damage on Serena, and it was he who caused it.
Yet, like the first time, he could not allow himself to succumb in his own guilt. He had to accept that this was the consequence of his choices and that his only regret was that Serena was the one who was suffering for it.
Although Geoffrey already accepted that there was little chance for him and Serena to have a child in this lifetime, their position could not afford them the luxury of not trying. Aside from that, they loved each other too much. So, if there's even a speck of chance of that happening, they were both willing to try.
Thus, Serena's third pregnancy was more meticulously planned. Before they even tried, Serena was fed tonics and other medicines which would likely strengthen her body and womb. Then, when her symptoms of pregnancy began to show, she immediately dropped all her duties and laid on bed rest as she continued to take medicines that would help the baby inside her grow healthy.
When Serena lost their child in another miscarriage, it just left them with so much pain and sorrow. However, though it was never easy, they had to get through it for life needed to go on.
Geoffrey knew that things would only get difficult from there given their position, but he was not willing, nor will he ever be willing, to give Serena up.
Later, his mother invited him over so that they can talk. Then, when they met, she brought up the possibility of him taking a second wife. She even tried to instigate him to get mad at Serena because she thought that it was Serena who was deliberately hindering him from the possibility.
The only outcome of that conversation was him warning his mother that if she doesn't stop, she could forget that he was her son.
Anyhow, if there was anything positive that came out of that meeting, it was that he discovered what has been happening to Serena. He thought that she was only submerging herself to her role as crown princess because it was her way of coping with their loss. Apparently, it was already her, taking steps against his mother.
He doesn't know if he should be happy or not. Happy, because Serena, even on her own, loved him enough to fight for their love. Unhappy, because she did not trust him enough to share the burden.
Nevertheless, when he got home that day, he confronted Serena about it. He asked her why she didn't inform him of the situation, why she chose to battle alone when they could have gone through it together.
Serena only told him that the reason why she decided not to tell him was because she didn't want him to worry. She knew that she could handle it by herself, and besides, given their position, his mother was not being completely unreasonable. Albeit, of course, as one can obviously see, that did not mean that she agreed.
Well, what could Geoffrey possibly say in rebuttal? He could only be glad that Serena thought of it that way. Still, he disliked what was happening and though Serena can manage like she told him, that did not mean that she should continue indulging his mother. Thus, he told her that she should not meet with his mother again and he would be responsible for it.
However, Serena contradicted his words saying that she cannot do that as they had an image to uphold. Also, despite his mother being the way she was now, there was a time when their relationship has been very good, and that once, his mother had been her benefactor. So, for that, she was in her debt and would always be grateful.
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TBC
AN: I hope I'm not boring you with these so far. Please vote and comment!
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