บท 6: 《Time Does Pass》
*5 years later*
*Autumn's POV*
August 31st, marks 5 years of Axel's absolute disappearance out of my life, marks 5 years of patient wait with hopes clinging inside that someday I'd hear anything from him. Anything that turns off the floods of overthinking, worry and sadness. I keep asking my brothers about him, but all they give me is drops of water that's completely insufficient to a droughted land.
Time had to grief me even more and made Axel disappear 9 days before my birthday, when I was so eager to spend it with him. Jokes on me, 5 more birthdays had to go without him.
What people say about him, doesn't put out the glazing fire of questions I've for him, doesn't make me feel any relieved. I've much more meaningful questions other than what he does, how he looks or how wealthy he has become self-made-ly.
"Axel Hawks, the international CIA causes absolute chaos to the world of crime after arresting one of the most dangerous organ-traders in Italy. Thanks to his fierce efforts, their activities have been stopped completely from all over the world. He's, indeed, the black angel."
"Guess the dude has become a celebrity now." Rebel comments while turning off the TV. I sigh, quite annoyed that I get these pinches of career information about Axel, even only when it's so huge like that one.
Who would have known that someone who was about to be so close, becomes so distant and I check up on him just through the news? Real sorrowful.
"Have you fallen in love with him that hard, Fluff?" I shoot my head up at Rebel's question as he smirks knowingly.
The occasion of the question is that the affection which Axel ignited inside me for him 5 years ago, was expected, by Rebel, to be blown out after a couple of months of Axel's disappearence.
To his surprise I never stopped loving Axel or if to address it more maturely, caring for him. Maybe I never got the chance to fall in love with him properly, but I do, pretty much, care about him.
"I'll never stop caring for him. One day faces would meet, just one day." Rebel sits beside me on the couch as he takes my hand in his. He sighs, starting to talk.
"You know? When I first looked into your eyes, you gave me a look that stopped my heart. A look of a princess, a hint of gentleness, purity and warmth. You were so small, so unaware, but you still captured me," He smiles tenderly, brushing his thumb over my palm.
"Now, that you're 20 in 9 days, you still have this look in your eyes. It has grown to be in your attitude, words, voice and even mentality. I hoped you'd be a badass to protect yourself, but now I don't want you to ever change. I know it's kinda inappropriate to say this, but if you weren't my sister, I'd have wifed you up by now."
My cheeks heat up at his words making tears grow in my eyes in gratitude. Rebel isn't the type to say sweet stuff 'cause he has stoned himself up, so if you hear him say these things, he means them with all his heart.
"Can I just lay my head on your chest?" That question which he pops up from time to time and I know he needs a cuddle when he offers it. I nod to him, laying on the couch, swaying my arms open as he puts his head on my chest, hugging me tightly.
"Don't ever get hurt, Autumn. Please, don't ever go." His voice cracks as he hugs me even more tighter. It's so unlike him, it's worrying me.
"Are you okay?" I ask as I pat his shoulder. He nods, taking in a breath. "I just...I'm scared to lose you like Ferrari and Axel. I met Ferrari today and he was so devastated. He tried to hold up infront of me, but he broke down on his knees and I never saw him like that. If that's Ferrari, then how's Axel?"
Rebel's words feel like ice water splashed on my face as I bite my lip anxiously. Right, if that's Ferrari, then how's Axel? It's her 5th anniversary and it's definitely a hard day for the whole family، especially him.
"Ferrari said that he's flying to Italy tonight," I furrow my eyebrows, questionably as Rebel goes on. "He said that he regrets being such a pussy to Axel and abandoning him for 5 years, all alone in a whole different country."
"So, he's meeting Axel? All this time, Axel has been in Italy?" Rebel nods, straightening up. "It's been a year of huge search for Axel's place, which was done by Ferrari's men and himself."
I look down, trying to imagine how their meeting would go. If Axel hasn't changed, he might blame Ferrari for awhile and forgive him afterwards.
But, what if he did? What if Axel did change?
"He's nervous. He tried to contact Axel, call him, text him, but nothing seemed to work. I guess it's going to be a bloody night over his head." I nod understandingly, standing up from the couch. "Do you think Axel is going to forgive him?"
"No, Axel would fuck him up real bad and I'd not think of blaming the dude for that."
"And I'd fuck you up for using your filthy ass mouth with her." Wolf comes into the hall with his calm, but threatining tone. Rebel rolls his eyes, smirking.
"Oh c'mon, she's 20, if she had the tendency to swear, she'd have started from her teens. Right, Fluff?" I nod my head, grinning at Wolf's frustrated expression.
"I don't care, behave yourself around Autumn." I go towards Wolf, hugging him tightly as he does back. "My little girl grew up and became the sweetest architect ever!" Wolf says as he dances with me like he always does when he's proud of my achivements.
Yeah, I decided to study architecture and I'm graduating next month. I already have a project to present in a company; a hospital. I almost have a complete picture of all the internal and external details of it. I made a huge research for a land that fits my plan, as well.
"Okay, lovebirds, I'mma go have some fun tonight. Will be back in the morn'," Rebel pauses, turning to Wolf with a sarcastic smile, folding his arms.
"Momma Wolf, don't want you coming at me like a whole bitch asking me where I was, 'cause you know."
It's so funny how much tolerance Wolf has on Rebel. Wolf throws him a disgusted look, signing for him to get out. Rebel chuckles, throwing him a wink as he picks up his keys and leave.
Well, I know what kind of 'fun' Rebel is going to have. It's not so good to mention, but he randomly sleeps with girls in drunk parties. He has been this way for like three years since his ex-girlfriend, who he loved with all his heart, cheated on him, embarrassed him and confessed that she was only using him for his money. Since then, Rebel swore he'd never get into any relationships and have his occasional fun.
"Ha, you know I'm not your goddamn step-sister, huh?"
Oh no. Savannah.
She steps inside the hall, holding the same glare mom does, shooting it to me and Wolf. "You always steal the attention to yourself, you little snake." Wolf steps forward to face her, leaving me behind.
"Too bad, Savannah is too bitter for not being loved when she's the biggest shit in the house." My eyes widen as Wolf leans forward for his face to be couple inches away from hers.
"Don't think I don't know about your little devil move by ruining Autumn's tower drawing she was supposed to hand last week." She backs away nervously, scanning his face. "Grow up, you're being so petty." She folds her arms, narrowing her eyes, smirking.
"Sure, let me grow up with my trials alittle bit. Thanks for letting me know, Wolfie." She leaves, making sure to pump his shoulder before throwing me a dirty glance and walk up the stairs.
Savannah...
I always thought it was just because of the age gap, but turns out it's much more bigger than that. From telling bad lies about me to embarrassing me with my stutter infront of my college friends to ruining my assignments and projects to even accusing me by sleeping with her ex-boyfriend and blaming her break-up on me.
No one believed her except of mom.
Oh speaking of my stutters, they have luckily recovered as I grew up, processing the traumatic scene and getting over it. Still shamed with it from mom and Savannah, but I always remember how Axel defended me and told me that it was beautiful no matter what.
He has given me a piece of strength to lean on in his absence.
I hope I meet you again, Axel.
*Italy, 3:30 AM*
*Axel's POV*
"Non mi interessa la loro fottuta opinione, Matteo."
("I don't care about their fucking opinion, Matteo.")
"Ho capito. Ma vogliono che ti fermi per un po'." ("I get it. But they want you to stop for a while.")
"Fresco, allora. Ho un po' di merda da fare per le prossime due settimane. Sarò fuori dall'Italia per questo." ("Cool, then. I have some shit to do for the next two weeks. I'll be out of Italy for it.")
"Quando torno, tutte le loro stronzate saranno gettate nella spazzatura più vicina. Sono fottutamente chiaro?" ("When I'm back, all their bullshit will be dumbed in the nearest trash. Am I fucking clear?)
"Sì, Axel. Abbi cura di te, perfavore. " ("Yeah, Axel. Take care, please.")
"Diavolo, non ti preoccupare, amico." ("Hell, don't you worry, dude.")
I hang up, relieving the tie off my neck, laying my back on the bed. Finally, I'm off that shit for just two weeks. The past five years passed so quickly, though they were so painful. All the fame, the accomplishments, the caught criminals, nothing is fulfilling this fire inside me. It keeps glazing and gets hungrier for even more to be caught.
But, the shame is I never caught Marcelino. Marcelino, Miracle's murderer, the one I flipped with the FBI. He returned the bitterness real bad, and he's going to regret it. He'll, I promise.
Tsk
Tsk
Tap
Tap
What's that?
There's someone.
Shit, the lights have to black out.
Now it's by the faint moonlight. I grab my gun, standing behind my room's door, listening closely to the footsteps.
"What the hell? No, no!"
A man.
I sneak slowly, guided by the disturbed footsteps. A tall figure comes into display, seemingly lost.
He's not armed. His shoes don't sound like the type of ones a murderer would wear. His steady steps say he's not drunk. And he didn't break in, which's weird. It means he had direct access to the mansion.
"Where is he, for God's sake? I should have rang that goddamn bell!"
That voice sounds so familiar. Just deeper than I recall.
I put down the gun, hiding it behind my back.
Now, how shall I greet my guest?
"The fuck you think you're doing in my place, Ferrari."
He jumps in fright, turning around instantly as I walk to the electricity box, switching the lights on.
"Your face is definitely worth the wait." He's shocked, the second actual look of shock I witnessed on him.
The first was at Miracle's death.
Sitting on the antiquate chair, I fold my arms, studying his face. He's standing still, staring back at me, seemingly lost for words. It's been along while, mate. Every couple of nights, his yells and the look he gave me, shake me awake in horror.
I imagined our reunion so many times, but over the years, it grew to be unmattered, that I reached that point now, when I have Ferrari right infront of me and I'm not thrilled to bring the waters back. I've lost that light I have for him and can't tell whose fault that is.
"Axel?" He cuts the silence with a doubtful call of my name, furrowing his eyebrows, scanning me.
"You don't look like yourself."
What can I say? Shit really changes people.
"Have a seat." He sits on the opposite chair, still staring at me.
I haven't changed that much. Just cut my hair short, have a scar on my cheek, got taller, and worked out. But, I'm sure that's not what he meant.
He means the coldness, the bitterness in this meeting. But, I don't know what else he expected and I'm not here to live up to anybody's expectations. So, fuck whatever he thought this confront should have been.
"Shit, I'm frozen, man. Who are you?" Ferrari looking clueless? Epic.
"How do you like the dream mansion?" I ask, ignoring his remark. His eyes wander around, taking in the details. I've changed much in the plans I shared with him at the time. I shall say it's much more darker, at least something would reflect the dark inside me.
"Execpt it's not like how you wanted it to be." He stares at me with a mix of apology, shame and hope. His eyes speak what his tongue can't pronounce. I know what he wants, but no. I'm not running back to the past, I'm not going to act like he didn't do anything. I'm not dodging the hurt, I'm not, I won't.
"But, definitely like how it has to be." The way I act isn't to his liking and I know it. Let's be clear and end this pathetic play.
"Cut the crap and let's take it straight, shall we?" His eyes widen as I stand up, still arms-folded, staring down at his figure, knowing that the taste of betrayal screaming out of my eyes.
"You broke into my mansion trying to have a casual chat with me? It's not like how you last promised." I remember his threats, I remember them so well, they've been the disturbance of my sleep, of my trust, of everything.
"Yes! I tried to contact you more than once and you never picked up! What am I supposed to do? I had to drug one of your bodyguards to steal the keys."
Shit, that's why Carson wasn't picking up my calls. Idiot!
"Listen, Axel, I know we ain't the same, but you've to understand that I was so broken. Hell, I still fucking am, bro! My heart is ripped out and Miracle's loss is so hard to comprehend!"
The anger I kept prisoned for years starts to bang the doors to be freed. The fury, I feel my blood rising to my head, ready to let alot of insanity out. Balling my fists, trying to compose myself and drag down all the pain and hatred, but his words are triggering it.
"Axel, I understand that I fucked up real bad that night, but I was out of my mind. Everything felt too much and I couldn't process any of it."
No, no, no, no...
"NO!" He jumps as I burst out a roar, making him step back.
"No! NO!"
*Ferrari's POV*
He yells as I back up in fear. Yes, I'm scared of him. He isn't the Axel I ever knew, he's someone else, someone so different. His eyes are emotionless, it's like you're looking into dead eyes. His stare is cold, yet scary. His voice is low and dead calm. Who the hell has he become?
"Don't you dare come at me thinking you're hurt more than I'm!" He steps forward, saying in a kind of a threat.
"Don't you DARE think you loved her more than I did!" He growls even louder, stepping once more.
"Don't you fucking think it was hard for you and not for ME!" He takes a final step as he stares dead into my eyes. His anger, his strength. He has become a whole different aura.
"NEVER let yourself believe that you loved her the most. 'Cause, hell, I had her in my arms when she was hours old, since then she's MINE to protect, so fuck off and man up." He throws me a disgusted look, backing off alittle, turning his back to me.
I don't know why, but his words tapped on my nerves. Why's he talking to me like I was nothing to her?! I did want to protect her, too! I loved her, too!
"Fuck you, man!"
He slowly turns to me as a smirk grows on his lips, chuckling lowly.
"Oh c'mon, you've said worse than that."
My anger raises even more as I ball my fist, stepping forward.
"YOU!" I punch him with all my force as it comes into contact with his cheekbone making his face turn to the other side.
His lower lip starts to bleed alittle as he wipes it with his point finger indifferently. He didn't even budge as he looks at me, smirking.
"Look at you," He chuckles darkly, shaking his head. He's definitely insane. Yes, yes, he's insane.
"UGH!"
He turns me to the wall, grabbing me by the collar, positioning his elbows to block my arms from defending myself. He steps on my feet, pressing hard as I struggle in his grip.
He grew to be so strong.
"Hah, c'mon, I can end this. I can end your promise, right here, right now," He pauses as I look into his eyes. He's dead inside, his eyes say it all. He isn't my best friend, no he isn't.
"But, nah, I'd like to watch you try." He bangs me to the wall as I suppress my groan, still looking at him silently.
"Axel!" He looks back to the call as a red-haired guy steps in in worry. He glances between me and Axel, folding his arms as he smirks, leaning on the gate.
"Caught a little mouse?"
"I'M NOT A FUCKING MOUSE!" I yell pushing Axel constantly, but he still manages to put me down. "An old friend, payin' a visit, nothing you could worry of, Uriah." The ginger nods, grinning, leaving.
Axel leaves me, backing away, straightening his suit, sitting on the chair. My breath is heavy and unsteady, my head is going crazy and everything feels much worse than ever.
"Are you just going to forget our 12 years of being side by side and inseparable?" He lifts his eyes, shooting a death glare.
"Aren't you so shameless? You threw everything behind like it was trash and now comes at me asking to bring shit as it was, pathetic!"
He's right.
I was such a coward with him.
I turned my back to him like everybody else.
I left him with all the grief, the guilt and the pain. I left him too long that they ate him; that he has become unrecognizable.
I lost pieces of myself, but I think the dark swallowed him whole.
Axel, my mate, changed and I couldn't have ever hoped for him to be this way nor us would be in this hell-hole.
I screwed to his sense.
His family screwed to his sense.
No one ever deserved him.
Mate, I'm so sorry that I would do anything for you to forgive me.
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Ace_Archer
Ace_Archer Ladies and Gentlemen, here the spice begins.
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