The skies were divided into bursts of light, thunder heralding the coming of a new wave of torrential downpour. Goosebumps travelled on my skin, the barely held blanket slipping off.
A cold finger slid down my back, another arm wrapping me by the waist. The warmth behind me did nothing to assuage the cold I felt in my heart.
"Still wish to leave in this weather?" his hot breath fanned my neck.
"I have to return. Since his majesty said there might be trouble, I can't just wait around."
"Do you think going back would solve anything? Have faith in your father, my dearest."
"I can't just do anything! My anxiety grows by the day and I have received nothing but ominous signs. I fear not even the gods can help me now."
"Ariana, what if you return and you find the worst? What shall you do then? You might not be able to return."
I slipped out of the bed naked, fell on my knees and bowed my head to the ground.
"I would thank you for your kindness. If I am not able to remain your wife, I apologize and wish you a happy life. If my family no longer exists, there would be no reason to be bound in this marriage anymore..."
"Ariana, please rise. These are just speculations. If anything happens to your family, then you would have to depend on me. I am your husband now, your ally. My kingdom is now your kingdom. Ariana, I lo-"
"Please do not force yourself to perceive deep feelings for me. It's okay. You don't have to love me. I do not myself and would not demand something so unreasonable from you."
"Ariana..."
"I will return on the morrow, your highness. Once again, thank you."
Prince Kalvin struggled for a response. In the end, he sighed and fell on the bed. He slept with his back turned to me that night. He didn't even wave me goodbye when I left. No, it was too much to ask of him. I knew I had hurt him.
But what I didn't know was that it would be the last time I would see him.
The sky was still covered in darkness when I woke up. My eyes were heavy and wet. I shook out my still sleeping limbs and checked on the prince in his crib. He was sleeping nicely in such an old cot. He even found a way to sleep perfectly in it.
How long has he been doing this?
Seeing him like that reminded me of the dream I had. Five years ago, I left my husband and came back to see my family dead. I ran and stayed hidden for months before ending up in Andrella's courtesan house. I couldn't return. Not after the things I had done, what I had become.
No matter what, there was no way he could accept me. This thought till this day, stung more than any physical pain.
Since I was awake, there was no need to force myself to go back to sleep. There was much work to be done. There seemed to be no other attendant assigned to the little prince's quarters so I had to take care of it all myself. It wasn't that big but it was still a lot. An early start was good.
Whistling a tune, I picked up a broom I had acquired the night before and began cleaning the whole place. It was times like this that I was at least grateful I ended up in Andrella's house. If not, I wouldn't have known how to do chores.
If you had stayed in Zerramond, you wouldn't have to worry about chores. Why does a princess have to suffer like this?
This thought, like many others, was shoved to the back of my mind. Like I said, there was no way I could return to Zerramond. It was nothing more than wistful thinking.
You're lying to yourself. He loves you...
I shoved the thought to the back of my head and continued working. When I had finished about half, it was already dawn. I was tired and sweaty so I stopped and went to check on the prince. He was surprisingly still asleep.
Since he was still asleep, I could take water for him to bathe and get him breakfast without problems, which was exactly what I did. Tracing the water pump from memory, I arrived at the back of the palace. As a princess, it was somewhere I rarely visited.
Right next to the water pump was the place I dreaded most in the palace; the cold palace. My mother said it was the place where women were left to die. Since my father took on no concubines, the cold palace was used as a place of punishment for me and my siblings. Spending just an hour in that place made us change our attitudes quickly. I couldn't imagine what it would be like for women who spent the rest of their lives there.
The water pump was already being used so I had to wait my turn. I wasn't going to wait near the palace so I stood out of sight near the pump. That's when I heard it.
"Did you hear that the bastard got a new nurse? Festus must be relieved to not have to take care of him again."
Festus was the name of the attendant that waited with the prince and followed us to the palace.
"I pity anyone who has to take care of that boy. He's just a herald of bad omens! Festus got his leg run over by a carriage three times. One more time and he would've lost his foot!"
"The last attendant was crippled for life! The Queen has refused to take him, the other wives have refused to hold him and the concubines are even less willing. In fact, the whole west wing might be cursed because of his presence."
"I heard all the wives and concubines cried to his majesty so they wouldn't have to keep it. That was why he had to take the prince on a trip. Thankfully, nothing happened to the king. He truly is the son of heaven."
Son of heaven, a title assigned to a true ruler. For an usurper, that was a lot of praise. In my experience, my father was not a bad ruler. He wasn't always correct but everything he did was for the good of the kingdom. Many also called him 'Son of heaven' too.
I was being biased but people were also quick to change their narrative. As long as they get to keep their heads and livelihood, then they would lick the shoes of whoever wore the crown. It was nauseating.
"Do you think it's the curse of Queen Moriah?"
"Shush! Don't say that name out loud!" the other servant pulled her companion closer, her words coming out as whispers. After that, I heard nothing else.
Who is Queen Moriah?
The two finally left, giving me a chance to use the water pump. Their words rotated in my head all day so much that I didn't mind how rude the kitchen staff was. I had a feeling that was how it would be from now on. The prince was already awake when I got back. He wasn't making a fuss like I thought but the moment he saw me, he started to tear up. I picked him up.
"Aw, why are you crying your highness?"
"Ellie. Ellie."
Did you perhaps think I wouldn't return?
"Don't worry your highness, I won't leave you like the others. Let's get you ready, shall we?"
I learnt that day the little prince didn't like baths. How adorable.