บท 183: What Now?

****(POV)

My empty heart felt even emptier.

The brother that would always try to cheer me on, gone.

He should have been the one to live.

Not me.

Him.

Why?

Why world?

Why such pain?

I asked that question so many times.

Never to get an answer.

All of it nonsensical.

No matter what, I had to live.

Even without any purpose.

Even if it all was pointless.

Even then.

My life became way too precious.

My two most precious companions gone.

Only to save the worthless I.

Could it be that I was to blame?

Was I an omen of disaster?

Anyone coming in contact with me perishing.

No.

Everyone kept dying there.

Not just my loved ones.

Still, it did hurt.

Like a bitch.

Not physical pain.

In fact, I found myself wishing for that.

Anything to distract the mind.

Anything to help me forget.

Enough physical pain to wash away the constant agony.

But I wouldn't.

I had to try my best to live well.

For their sakes.

Only for their sakes.

Enduring with my hurting soul.