บท 5: Chapter 4 Tip of the Iceberg
"I am the master of my own destiny, and no one, not even my parents, can dictate how my life should unfold. Throughout my journey, I have never relied on others to decide my future, decide what's good for me and I am sure I have to maintain that independence. I refuse to let anyone obstruct the pursuit of my dreams," asserted a broken Shivin.
Upon his mother's call for dinner, Shivin still engulfed in the midst of his emotional turmoil, goes to wash his face discreetly, ensuring that his tear-stained countenance remains concealed from his parents. As he gazed at his reflection in the mirror, he contemplated that he deserved a better situation and couldn't bear the exhaustion he felt. Sure about his tenacity, he acknowledged the need to maintain his sanity and recognized that his parents were simply naive, requiring time to understand his true potential. During the meal, Shivin paid no attention to his parents, who appeared to be indifferent to his emotional state. Though his mother glanced at him, he ate his food without any visible expression on his face, consumed by the pain that hindered any outward reaction.
Deep down, his mind remained fixated on the idea of studying abroad. The haunting thought of his parents never accepting his plans terrified him and left him feeling utterly helpless. After finishing dinner, Shivin retreated to his room to study physics for an upcoming test, without his parents bothering to check on him. However, his ability to concentrate on the subject was severely compromised by the overwhelming emotions he experienced due to his parents' unpredictable reactions. His worst fear of failing to convince them appeared to be manifesting itself. Shivin was well aware that his dreams would come with numerous obstacles, yet he was prepared to face each one with tenacity that lingered in his mind. He yearned to prove to his parents that he had the potential to surpass limits. As Shivin drifted off to sleep, he held onto the notion that his life wouldn't always revolve around his parents. The allure of London consumed his thoughts, and he yearned for the day he could embrace the freedom he desired, wandering the city's streets, discovering new wonders, and encountering vibrant souls.
The next morning, he rose early and delved into his physics textbook. Shivin was firm about his aspirations and sure about achieving a top rank among his classmates in the upcoming half yearly exam, especially in his weakest subject, physics. His father, catching sight of him studying in the early morning, was unsurprised but inquired, "Why are you up so early?" Shivin responded that he needed to study, though his father perceived it as excessive.
In school, he confided in his friend Kunal about his parents' unpredictable reaction when he shared his goals with them. Kunal teased whether Shivin would ever reach his study destination in this lifetime, to which Shivin playfully remarked that he wouldn't mind dying and being reborn in one of his favorite countries.
Meanwhile, Shivin's admirer, Isha, noticed that he appeared less cheerful than usual. In recess, they engaged in talks about the need for Indian parents to be more rational when considering their children's aspirations. Isha shared her own experiences of parental pressure and how it had affected her self-esteem. Shivin listened attentively, empathizing with her struggle. While Isha found Shivin physically appealing, Shivin admired Isha's intellect and dedication. Isha revealed her plan to study her undergraduate degree in Bangalore before pursuing her master's abroad and settling there. In a playful exchange, they agreed not to return to India and defy any parental objections urging them to come back.
As the days passed, Shivin's perseverance remained unwavering. He spent countless hours poring over textbooks, seeking clarity in the concepts that had previously eluded him. With each passing day, his understanding of physics grew stronger, bolstering his confidence. Late into the night, he would often be found in his room, scribbling equations and practicing problem-solving techniques. One evening, while Shivin was deeply engrossed in studying, his mother entered his room with a tray of snacks. She smiled warmly at him and said, "I know you've been working hard, Shivin. Remember to take breaks and take care of yourself." Shivin appreciated his mother's support, realizing that even though his parents might not fully understand his aspirations, they still cared for his well-being.
Shivin's dedication did not go unnoticed by his classmates. They admired his commitment and witnessed his transformation from an average student to an academic force. During lunch breaks, his friends would gather around him, seeking clarification on complex physics problems. Shivin, eager to help his peers, patiently explained the concepts, fostering a spirit of camaraderie among them. As the day of a major exam approached, Shivin's excitement and nerves grew simultaneously. He knew that this exam would serve as a litmus test for his hard work and aspirations. On the day of the exam, Shivin arrived early, armed with his knowledge and confidence. As he sat down at his desk, he took a deep breath, ready to tackle the questions that awaited him. Time seemed to fly by as Shivin meticulously solved each problem. He was in his element, his mind focused solely on the task at hand. When the exam finally concluded, Shivin felt a sense of accomplishment wash over him. He knew he had given it his all and left the examination hall with a smile on his face.
Two days later, the results were announced. Shivin's heart raced as he scanned the list of ranks. To his delight, he discovered that he had achieved the second-highest rank in his class. Excitement coursed through his veins as he contemplated sharing the news with his parents. That evening, as Shivin sat with his parents, he mustered the courage to share his achievement. His parents' eyes widened with pride and joy as they congratulated him. However, their words were tinged with a hint of expectation.
"This is wonderful, Shivin. We're proud of you. Now, let's aim for the first rank in the next exam," his father commented.
Shivin's smile faltered for a moment as he absorbed his parents' words. He understood their desire for him to be doing incredibly well in exams, but he also craved their understanding and acceptance of his journey.
He took a deep breath and responded, "Thank you, Dad. I'll ace my next exam with my highest endeavors, but I also want you to know that success is not just defined by ranks. It's about finding one's passion and following it wholeheartedly."
His parents exchanged glances, their expressions softening. His mother spoke up, "Shivin, we love you, and we want you to be content. We may not fully understand your aspirations, but we support you. Remember, success is not just about academic achievements; it's about finding fulfillment in what you do."
He knew that his parents' words came from a place of love, even if their expectations were sometimes overwhelming. In that moment, he realized that their acceptance and belief in him mattered just as much as his own grit. As Shivin continued his academic journey, he faced new challenges and celebrated small victories along the way. He still encountered moments of doubt and uncertainty, but he was learning to navigate them with resilience and self-assurance.
With each passing day, Shivin's passion for physics grew, and he remained committed to his dreams, ready to face any hurdle that came his way. In the midst of his studies, Shivin also found solace and inspiration in the world of English songs. Their melodies and lyrics resonated deeply with him, igniting a newfound appreciation for the language. He immersed himself in English music, listening intently to the artists who spoke to his soul.
With the goal of improving his English proficiency, Shivin decided to explore British culture further. He became fascinated with Oxford English and yearned to visit the historic city. He made a mental note to watch the Harry Potter movies after completing his 12th grade, hoping to further immerse himself in the English language and culture. With an ever-growing fascination for English songs and a focus on improving his English skills, he aspires to make a mark on the world stage.
Just as Shivin was contemplating his future and his dreams of studying abroad, his phone rang. On the other end of the line was Rohan, a consultant from Leverage Edu, an educational company specializing in helping students pursue their education abroad. Rohan introduced himself and shared his experience of guiding aspiring students for the past five years.
Excitement welled up within Shivin as he conversed with Rohan about his aspirations and his dream of studying in the UK. Rohan, delighted by Shivin's enthusiasm, assured him that with the right guidance and support, he could make his dream a reality. They talked about universities, scholarships, and the various possibilities that awaited Shivin across the pond. While Shivin mentioned that any place in the UK would suffice, in his heart, he longed to study in London, fully aware of the financial challenges associated with moving there.
Before ending the call, Shivin thanked Rohan for reaching out and expressed his eagerness to continue the conversation. He knew that this connection could be the catalyst that propelled him toward his dream destination. With a renewed sense of purpose and grit, Shivin ended the call and prepared for what lay ahead, ready to chase his dreams with unwavering ferocity. The call from Rohan introduces a glimmer of hope and possibility, further fueling his steadiness to make his dream of studying abroad a reality.
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