บท 140: 20. What Does The Fox Say?
On our way home, I remained quiet. Few of us were talking, and Colin sat next to me, clearly worried. I could feel a pounding sensation in my mind as four newcomers oozed into our hive. At the same time, Annaliese was trying to bring them under her control. I knew I needed to drink potent blood, and a lot of it. It was possible that I would spend most of this week unconscious, as I could feel how weakened our hive had become. I needed to regain my strength, and blood was the surefire way to do it.
I tried to focus. Whatever Mimosa had given me had stopped working, and the same went for the substances Colin had provided. Thankfully, we would soon be home. I was grateful that the wizards were still with us, but losing over half of my hive in one go felt devastating. However, there were still some of us left – Colin, Murdock, Dexter, Dresden, Constantine, Katherine, Elena, and Alaric. Once again, I had those who were truly loyal to me. I wasn't in the mood to try to understand Damon, Mariella, or the wolves. My bitterness grew as I learned that they had moved to Ireland and settled in their castle.
I was exhausted and overwhelmed by pain, and my limits were pushed to the brink. I couldn't just let this go, forget and forgive. I was damn determined to protect the entire pack. Was it too much to ask for them to be my backup? Apparently, it was. Colin pulled me closer, sensing my distress, and providing much-needed comfort. It meant the world to me to have someone who genuinely cared, and who had my back. Someone who wouldn't crumble like a house of cards and retreat to indulge in their own desires.
Eventually, we made it back to my mansion. I didn't bother saying anything, instead walking straight into the blood room. I grabbed a jug, sat down, and started drinking. I still wore my crown and heels, but I felt like a miserable queen—weak, in pain, and burdened by responsibility. But I knew I had every right to feel like shit. Glass after glass, my mood didn't improve. A small part of me tried to reason that I should expect troubles like this, considering my role as the hive queen. I would get better with time, but for now, I needed to mend my hive. Bitterly, I thought about what was left of it.
Despite losing eleven members of my hive, I still had a few remaining, and four more were joining soon. Oh god, the pain I felt. I had fucked up the entire world, Salvatore, Annaliese, and the entire weak pack. Why did it always have to be me who had to save everyone? Couldn't there be someone who would step in and say, "Take a break, I'll handle this one"? But that wasn't my life. It didn't take much for me to drown my sorrows in blood.
As I grew drunken, I muttered incoherently to myself, "Fuck, I'm weak, a mere joke, nothing. I'm supposed to save them, but I'm not the hero they think I am. So, I guess I'll just take it slow, maybe five years or so."
Of course, I was attempting to talk, but I was drunk enough that my words came out as an incoherent slur.
In the dimly lit blood room, shadows danced on the walls as a few electric candles flickered and provided a faint glow. The lighting did little to improve my mood, which was suited to the darkness - bitter, filled with self-blame for my perceived weakness, and simmering with anger towards those like Salvatores and Mariella, who lacked the courage to face me and join our cause. Instead, they retreated to Ireland to engage in their own affairs or live as a family. Well, good for them. I didn't need them anyway.
If I were to ever win Annaliese, it would be by my own determination and with the support of those truly loyal to me. These thoughts consumed me as I lost consciousness for the first time, my grip loosening and a crystal glass slipping from my hand. It's ironic that I rarely find happiness in my intoxicated state, whether from alcohol or blood. I am simply a wretched drunk, perhaps deserving of this misery. Happiness has never been meant for me, not even in my most inebriated moments. My life is a never-ending journey of misery and bitterness.
Colin entered the blood room silently, picking up Mimi and carrying her into one of the bedrooms. He tenderly removed her lace dress, washed her, and settled her into bed to sleep. He lay down beside her, pulling her close so he could hold her in his arms. He knew that once the rest of Salvatores was free, his chances with Mimi would be slim, so he learned from her the importance of living in the present, making every moment count, and creating lasting memories.
Unlike Mimi, he didn't possess the same ability to retain memories; they would fade away, much like his memories of Margaret had. However, his love for her remained steadfast. Memories were just a fleeting part of life, and he accepted that someday he would likely die and be reunited with Margaret, but he would lose Mimi because she would never die. It was a cruel twist of fate - losing Margaret, gaining Mimi, and eventually losing Mimi to regain Margaret.
At that moment, Colin couldn't decide which was better. He inhaled the scent of Mimi's hair, felt her delicate body against his, listened to the rhythm of her heartbeat, and observed the tranquility on her face. He silently hoped that she would dream something pleasant or, if not, that she would be free from dreams altogether.
Colin kept Mimi close to him until she began to awaken from her blood-induced stupor. He didn't want her to leave just yet, especially considering the tireless efforts she made to save those enslaved by Annaliese. He wanted to take care of her, to be with her. Colin had a unique ability to handle vampire women due to his hybrid status, making him immune even to the strongest of them. He had sensed Annaliese's attempts to manipulate him several times, but over time, he had taught those vampire women to behave. Some of them had learned, but not all. He didn't do things the way Salvatore did, but he had his own methods.
I woke up for the first time in someone's arms, feeling a little strange. The scent of clovers and grass told me that the person holding me tightly was Colin, my mate. He didn't want me to go anywhere just yet, so I found myself safely nestled in his embrace. It was comforting to have someone wanting me and keeping me close, so I didn't have to be alone.
I relaxed against him, simply enjoying the moment. I was tired of being the hive queen, distant and detached. Right now, I just wanted to be Mimi, someone who could be cared for and loved. The time for me to lead would come soon enough, and it would undoubtedly be a challenging fight. As I fully woke up, the headache returned with its usual intensity. I could sense Adam, Charles, and the boys entering our hive, their presence almost made me sick. It was painful when they pushed their way in so forcefully.
Colin, always gentle, greeted me, saying, "Good morning, dear. Here, my love, sip this. It'll help."
He handed me a mug of some kind of exotic fruit juice, and I sipped it cautiously. It provided some relief, pushing the pain away so I could open my eyes.
Colin informed me, "You've been out for three days. You still have some time before the next party."
Being by his side, it felt like he considered it a privilege to hold me in his arms.
He helped me adjust so I could lean against him better, and he reassured me, "You know, I'm here for you, my love. I feel your pain, always. So, I'll make sure to have something strong enough to help you with the pain during the upcoming parties, because it's only going to get worse. Annaliese will fight tooth and nail to keep everyone you're trying to save. It's going to be rough, but I'll be there. She can't get to me, you know why? My leprechaun makes me immune. No vampire female can ever touch me."
I looked at him and replied, "But I'm a vampire too, and yet I have you. It's wonderful to be in your arms, to have someone holding me and assuring me that they have my back."
Colin remarked, his voice warm and loving, "You are not just a vampire, but a hybrid. You belong to a different species, so it's not the same thing. However, my point is that you won't lose me. You can use me as much as you want. I can confront her without any risk."
I responded, asking, "What does it take to kill her? Can Damon do it, or do I have to kill her too? Why is it always me who has to face the most dangerous enemies?"
Colin replied, "I will ask our wizards about that. They can provide more information since they found your stash of vampire books. They have a reading club going on. We still have people in our hive, and more are coming. We can recruit more as well."
I simply listened to his strong double heartbeat, allowing myself a moment of peace. It was something to hold on to, even though I knew the near future would be extremely difficult and demanding.
I told him, "I just need to become so incredibly strong that I am not the same as I was before."
Colin reassured me, saying, "No one remains the same all the time, believe me, my love. Now, what are you planning?"
I replied, "I will drink myself back to full power. Meaning again, drunk as skunk. I need to strengthen myself continuously. There's no time for the wicked to rest."
He nodded and suggested, "How about others join you? Other vampires like Alaric and Katherine? It would make them stronger too and strengthen our hive."
I pondered on it for a moment and said, "Sure, but I'm a miserable drunk. I'm not funny or happy, but rather bitter and angry. They better understand that."
Colin smiled and said, "Fine, I'll join you. I'll have some scotch or something stronger and get wasted with you. You'll see a decent funk once I get in the mood. So, no more moping alone. From now on, if we drink, we do it together."
I smiled back, finding it actually fun, and said, "I'll put on some music. I have a long playlist with over 600 songs. Anyone who wants to join us can come and drink with us. Let's do this as a hive."
Colin smiled in agreement. He took me to the shower, which ended up lasting four hours. My headache worsened, and I could sense Charles in my mind, furious about us, me and Colin, a little passionate play as the sex beast found again Anaconda. But it did wonders for me, feeling him fuck me, dominate me, and make me explode time after time. And then, his warm release inside me always felt wonderful. Not to mention, his monster cock splitting my pussy in half felt nothing short of amazing.
We were on our way to the blood room when Colin turned to me and said, "You know, I could create a slow-release option for that painkiller, delivering it into your posterior. Hm..."
He seemed a bit disturbed, so it took me a moment to understand what he meant. I clarified, "You mean my asshole? I suppose it could work, but I haven't tried using drugs that way before. I should consult Salvatore. He usually knocks me out when he administers drugs in that manner. He breeds with me in animal form, in that certain way, what makes me fucked up."
Colin replied, "Yeah, maybe a jelly that doesn't melt would be the best option. But would it be too uncomfortable for you?"
I rolled my eyes and responded, "Nope, I can handle Damon fucking my ass with no problem, and he's not small. So, jelly is fine if you can make it. Let's go have a drink now."
He nodded and said, "Good to know. Let's see how we feel afterward and what we can do."
I smiled slightly. Despite Colin's long career as my doctor, he still had some reservations and could be quite clinical at times, though not as much as Samuel. Hmm. I wondered if it would be beneficial to have Samuel and Bran in my hive. As I pondered this, I suddenly felt a strong sense of danger. Charles was pushing his thoughts towards me, even though he hadn't officially joined the hive. We still had a connection. I sent him my love and also thought of Adam.
Then, I considered asking Colin and Alaric, who had recently joined, to drink blood. Surprisingly, Katherine, Elena, Murdock, Dexter, and the wizards were also present in my hive. They were all here with me.
I voiced my thoughts, saying, "Adam, Charles, and the boys are joining us. But I was just thinking that it might be a good idea to bring Bran and Samuel in as well. However, I'm getting a strong feeling of danger from Charles. I'm not sure what to do. Any thoughts?"
Murdock replied, "Nope, it's too risky. I've witnessed the awful things Bran has done to you, as have Dexter and the hive. It might be too tempting for him or he might see you as a threat. So, no, butterfly."
I nodded as Alaric spoke. "I agree, Bran is old. And when you reach that age, you become unpredictable and greedy. Old habits die hard. Samuel could be an option, but does he want to join? He's an epidemiologist, not really a vampire. His vampire side is even weaker than mine. And again, can you keep him to yourself? Keep him in the hive. Don't present Annaliese with another creature to control."
I nodded again. Alaric made sense. I had learned to trust my council and Alaric. He knew what he was doing.
I replied as I sipped my blood, "I would take Jarod and Mrs. Parker, but they're not willing. We'll have to see when those four are ready. If we bring back Tim, Taylor, and the Winchester boys, I'm not sure if I can have any Salvatores just yet. But I'll keep trying to give Wulfe what I can. He would be a valuable asset. Annaliese watches him too closely for me to bite him."
Katherine chimed in, "If you or I manage to bite him and get him in, he might surprise you. He must be really desperate. And if he gets the chance to escape, he might hurt you in the process."
I looked at Katherine. Another good point.
Elena offered, "I can try to distract Annaliese so you can get past Wulfe. But we shouldn't underestimate his desperation."
These two were pretty clever. I would have to be ready for the world of pain if it came to that we would get a chance to offer Wulfe a way out.
We started discussing various plans and issues. I kept drinking, my snarky attitude getting the best of me. I was in a funk, and Alaric noticed. He drank some more and let his funk come out. Colin continued sipping his scotch, clearly miserable. Elena drank tequila and complained as well. None of us were in a good mood, not even Murdock or Dexter. Each of us drank whatever it took to get wasted and let it all out.
We bitched about everything and anything, each of us having something to complain about. Even the wizards joined in, bitching about a multitude of things. I could sense Adam's and Charles's amusement at my drunken state, which only fueled my sarcastic thoughts. My mouth didn't seem to work properly, so Colin had to inform me that he couldn't make sense of what I was saying.
I had my playlist blasting, drowning out the sounds of the dimly lit blood room. The saddest songs played, their melancholic melodies hanging heavy in the air. I attempted to sing along, my voice slurred and muffled by the strong stench of alcohol and blood that filled the room. Others around me also tried to join in, their incoherent voices mingling with mine in a cacophony of off-key notes.
As I stumbled through the lyrics, I couldn't help but find amusement in Dresden's rendition of Pink's song, a glimmer of lightheartedness in the midst of our intoxicated haze. But our tongues betrayed us, refusing to cooperate, and the few notes we managed to hit were painfully wrong.
The room spun around me, a dizzying dance of shadows in the dim light. I fought to stay upright, the taste of bitterness lingering in my mouth as I realized I was the last one standing. It was a bitter pill to swallow, knowing I had held on the longest before succumbing to the darkness that enveloped me.
The air was thick with the scent of blood and alcohol, a sickly sweet combination that mingled with the desperation, anger, and bitterness that hung in the room. But beneath it all, there was a sense of camaraderie, an unspoken understanding that we were all in this together as a hive. I wasn't alone in my misery; we had all willingly embraced this intoxicating chaos. It was a new concept for me to grasp, a strange mix of emotions swirling within me as I surrendered to the night, my glass slipping from my limp fingers and shattering on the floor. Only time would reveal what tomorrow held and how long it would take for me to resolve this crisis before the next one struck.
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