บท 16: Doubts
Scott also knew that their kiss had been intense for her as well and that might help sway her. He needed to stay the course and win his wife back. Patience was in fact a virtue it seemed. He let go of Ana and walked directly to his desk chair sitting down. He was rock hard to the point of pain, and he needed to calm down before he could do much else.
Ana continued walking around looking at the small details she had missed during the first circuit. After a minute of watching her and his mind wandering to how easy it would be to have her in that dress, he forcibly made himself look out the window and keep his eyes there.
Ana had not meant to kiss him back like that. She responded after some contemplation because she didn't want him to say she wasn't trying. Then his tongue had met hers and all the desire for him that she had locked away, when she realized he didn't want her, came flooding back with a vengeance.
Ana's blood had been molten with the need to be closer to Scott. She wanted his hands on her body, wanted his mouth everywhere, and wanted him inside her in the worst way. When they had first married, she had craved his touch only to never receive it. Until she finally locked those feelings away.
Ana hadn't thought those feelings would return since she had Nicholas, but they had. She felt awful because of it. If Scott had pressed for more, would she have stopped him? She wasn't sure she would have. She might have let him do anything he wanted. The desire still running through her like a current made her believe that she might have let him talk her into staying. That terrified Ana, how could she still feel and react this way to Scott even after everything?
Ana figured she had three options. One: she could lock her emotions down and repel Scott like he was the plague which would likely anger him and lead him to demand more time from the judge. Two: she could ask Nicholas to take her away from here and they could leave the country never to return. Or three: she could give in to her desire for Scott and try to work through it while she was here.
However, if Nicholas found out he would be devastated. Could she even live with the guilt of hiding such a thing from Nick? Ana didn't want to be that kind of person. Who was she cheating on here? Ana realized she wasn't sure what the answer was.
There were no good options for her. Her current course ended with her being surprised by her desire for Scott. This put her in a dangerous position of not being ready for the feelings that overtook her, leaving her vulnerable. Ana was trying to figure out who her husband was. Was it the kind but reserved man she married, the cold, hard bastard she had barely survived, or this fun, happy, and affectionate man she was just getting to know?
Ten minutes later Scott came out onto the veranda to get her from where she had been sitting, looking out at the grounds. He offered his hand, and she took it. Scott walked with Ana back inside and helped her with her seat at the table. The staff brought in their dinner with wine for him and decaf iced tea with lemonade for her. Dinner was grilled chicken with seasonal vegetables and rice. There were dinner rolls, fruit, and cheese as well. The staff left, letting them eat in peace. Ana ate a bite of broccoli chewing thoughtfully. This was a good dining space.
Ana looked at Scott needing him to give her some answers. "I have been trying to wrap my head around it, but I can't. You have had three distinct personalities since I have known you and I feel like you're a stranger all the time."
Ana raised her hand ticking off her finger. "Are you the quiet and reserved man I married. The cold, hard bastard I agreed to divorce, or this new fun, happy, and affectionate man I just met?"
Scott sighed, setting down his fork and using his napkin to wipe his mouth. "I am all three men I assure you."
Ana waited for more, but he said nothing else. "I need more than that Scott. You are asking me to stay married to you I need to know who you are."
Scott ran a hand through his hair. "When I was sick, I never wanted a nurse because it made me feel weak. Then you came and won me over. I grew to care for you and wanted to give you a better life. So, I asked you to marry me, but when I heard you say you loved me, I grew concerned about what my death would do to you. I kept my distance from you and stayed reserved."
Scott adjusted in his chair, took a bite, chewed and swallowed. "When I started getting better, I felt I needed to over-compensate to cast aside that weakness that had owned me for so long. I admit I went overboard, becoming cold and callous and you caught the brunt of that because you were an easy target. You had been there at my worst. I was trying to eradicate the perception of weakness and that in my mind included you. I was steadily forgetting who I was."
Scott took a gulp of his wine. "When you walked away telling me to 'go to hell' it was like I had been dunked in ice water and I woke up. I became this me again which is who I have always been, but I am those men too. I use them when needed but I don't usually become them.
Scott took several bites of food then another drink of wine. "I assume that Nicholas has told you who we are and our troubles with each other?"
Ana nodded and drank some of her juice. "Yes, he relayed the story of your lives and war. Why does he hate you so much?"
"I think it is because his father, King Philip officially adopted me when he married my mother. Nicholas feels like he and his mother were run out of their lives and eventually his father made a new family for himself. Maybe he feels that I stole his life." Scott answered grimly.
Scott sighed. "Did he tell you about my fiancé?" Ana shook her head. "I guess he wouldn't. When I was twenty-one, I was engaged to be married to a woman I cared about a great deal. Nicholas found out about it and seduced her making her his mistress very publicly. All so he could destroy my life. He destroyed her reputation and life in the process. I am telling you this, because you should know what kind of man you are involved with. Nick can be very charming but don't be naive about who he is.
Nick had told her he never had a mistress. Ana stared at the table. "Nick told me he never had a mistress." Ana said quietly.
Scott laughed bitterly. "I know of three off the top of my head. My ex, Alice. Then there was Evelyn in Cambria, she was married so it was quite a scandal. Then there is his current mistress April that lives cozily in the condominium next to his in the city. Not to mention he installed you into his estate and intended to keep you there hidden away while you were not married to him. You cannot tell me that didn't make you his mistress? I know you are smarter than that."
Ana pushed her food away and stood. Ana pulled out her phone and headed outside to call Nick. First, she checked her text messages, and she had one from Nick from several hours ago. 'Running into the condominium to pick up some personal belongings. I might be late, but I will send you a message when I get back. Maybe I will talk to you then.'
Ana let out a small screech and slammed her phone on the table. She didn't realize Scott had followed her outside and he came up to her now running his hands up and down her arms from where he stood behind her.
Scott stepped closer so his body was touching hers. "What did he do Ana?"
"Nothing." Ana scoffed. "He can't talk to me tonight because he had to go to the condominium. He said he will be back late." Ana said in a monotone voice.
Scott carefully turned Ana around. Her eyes were storming and glassy. "The only woman I have ever been with is you, Ana. Marriage is sacred to me. My own mother suffered the ridicule of being a mistress. I can't be with a woman other than my wife I refuse."
Ana knew what was coming before it happened. When his mouth met hers, she gave herself over to his kiss letting it sooth the fiery hurt inside of her. Scott kissed her hungrily; she wasn't stupid, the kiss carried a promise of what was to come. She doubted she would be able to deny him when he collected on this kiss. She ached with need for him by the time he finally released her mouth and kissed her forehead softly.
"You need to eat a bit more whether you feel hungry or not." Scott told her gently. She nodded and grabbed her phone letting Scott lead her back inside to the table. She ate without much enjoyment until she couldn't stomach another bite.
"Do you want dessert?" Scott asked.
Ana shook her head. "Maybe later." She rose from the table and walked over to the bookshelf. After a few minutes she selected a book and curled up on the sofa to read.
Watching Ana get comfortable on the sofa, Scott went to his desk firing up his laptop and sending out a few answers along with a blanket statement to the magazines for tomorrow's news stories. He was certain his wife's pregnancy would be trending before he woke up. He kept the gender to himself, however. Scott thought about the kiss they had just shared and felt it had been different somehow. That kiss had been leading somewhere. That was twice today he had been able to kiss his wife.
Scott got up from his desk and walked over to the sofa and sat. Ana was lying on her side reading. He grabbed a pillow and put it against his leg and encouraged Ana to come and lay beside him. After a moment she did. He started running his fingers through her hair as she lay against him. He was content. Why had he fought so hard against her for the last couple of years? He tried to picture his reasoning in his head, but it was so jumbled he couldn't make sense of it himself.
Scott pulled out his phone and scrolled through social messaging. Rumors had already started to circulate that he had been seen out with his wife for the first time. He smiled, good he thought. At a little after nine, Ana closed her book and stretched, yawning. Ana sat up and looked at Scott who had set his phone down.
Scott got bored of social media quickly and had been going through work emails and prioritizing jobs that needed to get done. He had sent out several emails to his assistants asking about various project statuses and lost communication lines. If he did this every night his work would run so much more efficiently.
Ana stood up. "I am ready to get a shower and get into bed, Scott."
"I'll go where you lead." Scott told her with a crooked smile.
Ana picked up her phone from the table seeing that there were no notifications on her screen she put the phone in her pocket. Together the pair walked through the estate before climbing the stairs to the master bedroom. Ana grabbed a nightgown before disappearing into the bathroom. Scott grabbed pajama pants and went to the guestroom across the hall. He was back and waiting stretched out in bed when Ana came out of the bathroom, her hair freshly dried.
Ana stopped in her tracks outside the bathroom door. Scott was lying on the bed with his arms behind his head in only pajama pants that sat low on his hips. The muscles of his chest and abs are on full display. Oh hell, Ana thought, but he looked enticing.
Scott sat up swinging his legs to the side of the bed. "Is everything alright?"
"Y... yes," Ana stuttered walking over to him. "I just thought of something, and it made me freeze up for a second there. I'm fine."
Scott smiled at her realizing his ploy had worked. "Come to bed." He said holding a hand out to her then pulling her close to his body before letting her pass him. He would make her his again and this time he would keep her. They were about to be a family and he couldn't stand the thought of his son growing up without him there.
Ana crawled into bed and Scott asked her if she wanted the blankets. She told him it was too warm, so he left them at the end of the bed but rolled over to lay against her rubbing her back softly for a minute before placing a hand on her stomach. Scott leaned over placing a kiss on Ana's neck which caused her to shiver. He inhaled the sweet scent of her. She smelled like caramel and some kind of flower plus something alluringly feminine. Her scent was intoxicating.
The baby kicked very lightly but seemed sleepy. Scott pulled his hand back to her waist running it lightly over her hip and down her leg. Ana adjusted her head on the pillow but didn't tell him to stop. He ran his fingers to the edge of her nightgown and pulled it up to high on her thigh then began moving his fingers in slow circles on her bare skin. Ana started to turn her head toward him when her phone on the nightstand dinged loudly.
Ana paused for just a moment as if torn between actions then reached for her phone. Scott reached down pulling the covers to his waist before flopping on his back with a quiet groan. Had she been about to yell at him, kiss him, what? He was already aching with need for her, and Nicholas chooses now to contact her.
Ana picked up the phone and opened her messages. The text read, 'I just got back. I had a long dinner meeting. Are you still up?' Ana checked the time. It was after eleven. She wanted to ask Nick about his lies and why he had to visit his mistress, but she also didn't want to talk to him if he had just come from someone else. After a couple minutes of staring at her phone she put it back on the nightstand without responding.
Climbing back into bed she felt unsettled. Before that text came, she had turned to Scott. Desire had been flaring deep inside her and she had wanted to what? What had her plan been? Going with the flow was eating her up Ana needed a plan to deal with how she felt. Scott moved back beside her and put his arm over her.
Scott slid his hand over the bump where his son slept. "Is everything alright, Ana?"
Ana sighed. "He had a late-night meeting. I didn't feel like talking so late."
Scott continued to softly caress her stomach. "I think I should make something clear to you so there is no doubt."
Ana glanced over shoulder at him before relaxing into her pillow. "What's that?"
Scott buried his face in her hair for a moment kissing her neck once more his lips close to her ear "I want you Ana, badly. I desire you and need you all at once. I crave you."
Ana realized she could feel the evidence of his words against her and the ache she had felt before starting up down low once more. She closed her eyes and sucked in a breath; she couldn't do this. One voice in her head said what about Nicholas. The other said this was her husband and it was natural for her to feel this way. She wanted Scott, had always wanted him. She had loved him once and if he had been this way she never would have met Nicholas. Ana didn't know what to do.
Ana turned over to face Scott. "Truth is I want you and it is eating away at me, but you damaged what we could have had. Maybe Nicholas is already running around with someone else and maybe not but if I give in to you then I damage what he and I share. I am trying to see how I win here because I don't know."
Scott brushed hair off her face. "Maybe we just be a real couple for the time we have and see if it is enough to make us want to build a future. Ana, you are my wife and I have spent as much time as I can stand denying myself your attention. I can't handle any more of it. I need us to give this our all because our son's future with two loving parents is on the line but also because I stand to lose you. I can't face that without knowing we tried everything we could. I need to show you that I can give you what you need to be happy in every way. Please baby, give me a chance to show you that I can love you properly."
ของขวัญ
-- ได้รับของขวัญแล้ว สถานะพลังงานรายสัปดาห์
-- การจัดอันดับด้วยพลัง 
-- หินพลัง