บท 47: Chapter 47
Marvin could only be silent, and he didn't think that maybe his and Sean's perspectives were so different. According to Marvin as a good friend, it is not always against Nicholas. Instead, the one who was always there with Nicholas no matter what. Joy and sorrow. Happy and sad, Marvin will be faithful to be beside Nicholas even to the end. You could even say Marvin would be willing, even if Nicholas took him to the end of hell. However, what if this has already happened? A thing that would be the opposite of what happened at all. Everything in his mind was far different from Sean's mind. Keeping Nicholas and being a good friend is not always doing everything Nicholas wants, but it can bring Nicholas to change. Changing to a better path means changing Nicholas back into a good person and full of spaciousness. Which even that is impossible, how not. Never mind being forgiving or trying to be sincere. Even Nicholas doesn't have a heart. For some reason about this Grace, it's just that Marvin himself was pretty confused. The figure of Grace being able to win Nicholas' heart is an extraordinary thing indeed.
"I don't know about this at all. Everything will be impossible, don't you know much better, that turning Nicholas into a normal human is impossible. Her happiness, then how can you tell me to change it? It's like you forced me to melt iron with both hands, which is impossible, and just because Gace said if Grace is his girlfriend, then you have hope that your cousin will be a normal human being in general? It's just a dream, and I don't even know, is this Grace really in love? Or maybe, he's just been obsessed with Grace since childhood? I'm afraid that if the reality is like that, then Grace will be the one who will be destroyed. It should have been from the start since he met Grace. We should take care of Grace, don't you feel like you know how you feel about that woman? from a young age, she had lost her parents to Nicholas, and she had to lose her heart. What should she do? I'm sure even breaking down isn't just about her. It's about all the things that had to happen to her."
Sean looked silent felt slapped with all the words said by Marvin were actual. Nicholas is not human, and you could say if Nicholas is a monster. So how could he expect a monster to change? Killing, looting, raping were activities that Nicholas had always done and had even become an ingrained habit. So how can Sean be hopeful just because his cousin has a girlfriend right now? Sean seemed to massage his temples which suddenly felt sore. He was confused about what to do now. Everything became a dilemma and made Sean very guilty.
"I'm sorry, Marvin. I think what you're saying is true, and I'm going too far. How can I think if only because Nick has a girlfriend that we have hope to make Nick a normal human being in general. After all, this world is ours. It's been a long time since the dark world that I feel seems very gray. We are not businessmen, we are not mafia, we are not rogues, and we are not terrorists. What are we? Or are we all? We don't have any apt nicknames. We are mafia but not under any mafia flag, we are businessmen, but our job apart from doing business is to have other dirty jobs, which are killing, robbing, and raping. Then what are we? I don't think it's just you and Nick, and I'm also covered in filthy sins. Although I rarely participate in the killing, I also do it when I have to. I don't like looting, but I like raping women brought by you—u and Nick. I'm too naive and innocent, and I'm too selfish. Shouldn't I be like that?" Sean smiled wryly, and then he looked at Marvin perfectly. "I'm really like an angel, I act too much, so I'm not self-conscious enough to see things properly, Marvin. Forgive me,"
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