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Darkness. The ultimate ruler, the true One-Above-All. Everything starts from it, and everything returns to it eventually. People say that in your final moments, darkness seeps in your very existence, engulfs your whole being. They say it’s an incredibly relaxing feeling that takes you on your journey to your afterlife. They say that in the very darkness, the ‘nothingness’ your weary soul will finally be able to rest and relax. This brings up some very philosophical and existential questions. Do you even exist?
Follow the epic journey of Aiden, the last primal, a unique and ancient race as he finds his place in a strange, new world, filled with threats and violence.
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UPDATE: A supportive reader has created a Discord Server. Here's the link if you would like to reach out to me and/or join the community:
http://discord.link/Shaele
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If you would like to support me and leave me a personalized message, you can buy me a 'coffee' at Ko-Fi: https://ko-fi.com/shaele
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This story (and the world itself) is something I started writing and creating 15 years ago, while I was telling stories with my friends in our regular D&D sessions. The world is a hand-crafted fantasy world, filled with history and lore that we created over the course of years. While I may be new to the writing scene, I will do my very best to bring you an enjoyable experience.
Hope you enjoy the journey just as much as I enjoyed creating it.
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122รีวิว
4.27
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เขียนรีวิว
This is stupid! He wasn't warned that the system would take his memories and then though it feels like the system can tell him about his life it doesnt. Also what's the point of even bringing up he had a past life if he ain't gonna remember it. This is getting aggravating to read. I mean why is he hesitant if he doesn't have memories also why does he have basic knowledge of animals if he doesnt have his memories. It makes no sense. He should of never had his memories taken as a price and even in the first place he never had his memories. Why is there even the reincarnation tag?
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From reading the synopsis, I thought this would be a dark-fantasy with a brutal main lead, but you get the opposite. The story feels like a Disney movie. A character that hesitates to kill a bug, and a system that talks with the main character like she's his mother, the whole thing feels really weird. I read books for the purpose of seeing something interesting, not life lessons on how killing is bad, and how you should always avoid hurting others. The story skips along very weirdly, from random power boosts to scenarios that shouldn't happen given the current powers of the main character, but they do, which is fine if they at least make sense.
I came for the tags, but I left because of the lack of them, a slow progression romance, a typical alarmist idiot, it would be more of a slice of life for a morphing idiot.
I'm giving a low score both for the quality of the story and for the author being a snowflake when receiving criticism......................................
I could honestly say that your world-building is phenomenal. And your writing style, wherein you elucidate on matters extensively, it was a pleasure to read the progressions of your story. Lily is my favourite character here - an utterly supportive woman who have no qualms in being a helpful person in general. Even if she had her doubts, it didn't deter her will to be a kind person. As for Aden, he doesn't come as mysterious to me since his background was explained. However, I do adore him for having a vigorous intent in being a part of the society. He does invoke the feeling of an outsider. What I want to say, is that the first ten chapters or so could appear like an information dump, honestly speaking. I agree that it was necessary to have a good foundation to start your story, but as a reader, I would've preferred if the world setting was slowly disclosed throughout the whole story. For the reason that you have no auxiliary chaps to explain the world itself, it got quite confusing as I went on. (IDK, maybe I'm just stupid) With a system that was explained extensively, somehow, the overall norms of this world, levelling up, and acquisition of skills process were quite vague. If you have a concrete world, leaving the specificities of how the system works to the readers would leave to a myriad of interpretations. Though, I do think that you would expound on them soon. I suggest that you divide some paragraphs, so they won't look bulky. It is a tad tiring for readers to read such a condensed paragraph, and the information is more susceptible to be forgotten since, most likely than not, they would just scroll through it. Also, be careful of run-ons and comma splices which are catalyzed by absence/misuse of punctuation marks. You use ellipses (...) quite often. A comma, period, or a dash would suffice since the value of trailing when an ellipses is used diminished the more that you use it. Overall, your story telling is marvellous. Rest assured that you're a good writer ^^ I'm quite apologetic that I can't give a more proper review. Please don't get mad at me. :< I'll be supporting you! Thank you for writing such a wonderful story!
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I could read till the chapter 40. It's so slower than i could endure. But other than the slow building, mc's behaviors and the dialogs between him, granny and that little girl made me drop it. I felt like i was reading dora or something. He claims or aims that he is the predator but before killing the bugs he feels sorry. Granny teaches him that every life is important so he shouldn't kill anyone. Their interactions made me think that this novel's a slice of life and they will always go to the forest to picnic, especially that unnecessary goodwill and etiquette. I think I'm over the age of learning how to thank for every damn thing. Mc has the potential to be a Japanese beta mc. Those are my thoughts, sorry if any of this offended you.
This story had/has great potential, that is undeniable. The story began amazingly only to fall into something I can only describe as an aimleww mess. I'd love to continue further in hopes of the story regaining its once great footing but due to it becoming a paid story, I cannot say it is currently worth the investment to read further. If someone does have insight on how the story progresses and if its worth to continue pay to continue reading, I'd be all ears. I really do like where the story was shaping up to be but currently I really feel like it fell from grace. Thanks for reading, this was just my two cents. Feel free to have your own opinion and I recommend you give the novel a shot, since I am no judge just an opinionated reader :)
Writing Quality ⭐⭐⭐⭐ Stability of Updates⭐⭐⭐ Story Development⭐⭐ Character Design⭐ World Background ⭐⭐ Why author don't delete spam with 5 stars and threat people who give low score with their lawyers?
The Last Primal is a story about Aiden, someone who died and was allowed to reincarnate into a new world because of his unique soul. He has a system to help him survive. Not exactly the most unique idea, but I usually like these kinds of novels. Unfortunately, this novel has quite a few problems. Writing quality is slightly below average. No obvious mistakes, but there's several run-on sentences here and there, along with some excessive descriptions. However, compared to other novels, this can be considered average. (3/5 stars) The story development is partially what made me drop this novel. There isn't a terrible amount of consistency, and I am unsure if other things are plot holes because I haven't read that far. However, I'll just mention a few things. Main character is a slime in a new world. Upon awakening, his system tells him to kill and absorb some bugs. Thus, he does. Later, he ends up killing a snake, and when he is hungry, he decides to go kill some bugs. However, for whatever reason, now that he is a snake, he has empathy? For some reason he constantly hesitates and feels guilty for killing them for whatever reason. Ignoring the fact that he killed these same bugs less than ten chapters ago. Furthermore, the main character had a blessing from God, which allows him to forcibly absorb something in case he is in danger. After being swallowed by a snake, he is in his slime form. For whatever reason, the main character decides it would be a good idea to waste this blessing (he can only use it twice) on the snake. He claims to have analytical abilities, but that isn't the case whatsoever. He could've absorb whatever the snake ate, thus starving it, or simply suffocated it by squirming out of it's stomach. Once the main character gets out of the cave, the story seems even more forced. (2/5 stars) Onto the character design. Alright, main character claims at some point he was good at analytical thinking. This is not the case. He constantly asks stupid questions to the system, completely relying on it. I can't really judge the main character, as his personality is completely inconsistent. However, from other reviews I can tell he's going to stay as your average beta main character. Last point, the system has a conscious, so it is technically a real person. This is rather annoying, because this seems like a poor excuse to advance the plot in various scenarios. Also, what was the point of allowing the main character to keep some memories from his previous life if your just going to erase them in the first ten chapters? Last point, a granny and little girl find a dragon egg, and for some reason they stay and approach it despite saying it was dangerous? (1/5 stars) World background is average. I haven't read too far for various reasons. Seems like a typical fantasy with dragons and elves. Not a whole lot seems unique. Not a whole lot to review about this point either. (3/5 stars) Overall, this novel needs a proofreader and better planning. Story is rather inconsistent, and a talking system was unneeded, especially since it limited any form of character development. I give this novel 2.8 stars out of 5.
This novel can be summarized in one word... Frustrating The mc has mind of a child throughout... unable to make decisions for himself... the system is his nanny...constantly telling him what to do This story has a main character but no protagonist... reason being he has no goals, no desires, no intent to interact with the world... only waits for system objectives The story setting is for kids... fights are skipped... no moral dilemmas... no consent for mc foolishness... no challenges for mc to overcome without system helping This is barely even a novel... after all novels have stories to tell All it took to ruin the premise was the mc's personality, system's continued meddling, constant children's theme and worst of all lack of any direction to the story despite being... Chapter 67 My overview... nice premise but no payoff...be prepared to have questions and no answers ad infinitum... just frustrating
Had great potential but had to get a system that acts like a mother and the mc protects a little girl just because they saw him in a egg and his mental age went backwards and started to act like a chimp and the mc cant kill a fly
At the time of review i am at chapter 68 The primal thing is really interesting, the ability to constantly evolve is nice, tapping in different powers and potentials. The guiding spirit is really nice, honestly she's much better than mc himself, if you ask me. But, mc's personality is too much for me.. He has a tendency for a hero, has some things that some would put him in the category of a cliche hero of an anime that rages and goes blank( there were few moments). He's quite the fool and doesn't really think things through. Well, yes he lost his memories and i don't know how much will he improve when he gets them back. FL character is a loud, quite obnoxious girl that screams all the time " I' the big sis, i need to stand proud by my brother's side" and been super pampered , well, seems now it's a little better. There's slow romance between them. (they're not blood related) . Initially when i saw this title i thought - oh, there'll be a nice calm, calculating mc -- badass . Not so much, at this moment especially. In my opinion, Writing Quality 3.5 Story development 3 Character design 2 : Like i said, These designs are not my cup of tea and i find them often quite flawed. So far, Enya is the best character. World Background - 3.5 Can't really say much , because there wasn't a lot of information but let's go I really liked the idea of Primals, but unfortunately the development shown .. not my cup of tea You can give it a try , and tell me your take on the characters !
Amazing novel 🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓 🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓 🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓 🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓 🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓
Bad and stupid. Grammar and everything is still good but the story itself doesn't make any sense. Characters behave weirdly and sometimes there's hardly any development and sometimes an important development is crammed into one chapter. You can try reading for the power system but that too is nothing special and is very slow to develop.
After reading the synopsis and finding out that there is no light at the end of the tunnel I should have noticed it for the foreshadowing that it was. Which to be honest is confusing because the MC goes on to tell me otherwise not two seconds later. Conceptually, the story is there. The writing quality is decent, the grammar at a wonderfully refreshing level when surrounded by some of the alphabet soup that is on the site. For that, I can't fault it. Unfortunately, besides the story idea and the quality of grammar. The story is incredibly slow to start. Our MC who is basically a potato who without his handy Internal (AI) companion at the start isn't great. Between his own inner dialogue and the Internal companion force-feeding him his every action, there are massive blocks of text that make you feel like the mushroom bugs the Mc first becomes. Sadly at times, it seems like he isn't the hero of his own story and just a side character to the events that are happening around him. Then in a whirlwind of plot armour, our clueless MC goes from blob to bug, from food to finally an ancient dragon in the form of an overpowered little boy so quickly that even he doesn't have a clue what is happening. And His opponents are cardboard cutouts that are there to drive his story. They offer no real threat or feeling of suspense. But that's just me rambling. Overall the story has great potential and a large amount of content with stable enough releases to feed your inner bibliophile.
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To be honest I couldn't get past the first chapter because the book is just not my style. I hate when there is god involved and when the mc isn't given full access to info and I start hearing things like clearance level which to me is absolute crap, though I think it's just me since I love the mc's to be in direct control over their lives with no external influence (like how are you comfortable with something in your soul that isn't you). Don't get me wrong I didn't give the rating just to troll as I mean all the ratings I gave since I could literally see and feel the effort the author put in it from the very first chapter it just hit all the wrong notes for me: 1) I hate the god factor(where they aren't just a classification of beings but unreachable existences and especially when they actively intefer) 2) systems(if the system isn't created by the mc in some way like ai or a naturally occurring system consequence of the world itself it irks me) 3) ignorance (I hate when an mc is okay with being ignorant about their situation like who the f*ck goes like oh no point thinking about it so I won't ask, gotta a little emotional there sorry, especially something that concerns your race or when there like you wouldn't understand, if he can't understand teach him though just push it off) Anyway if you read this to the end thanks for taking the time, all in all I rarely do reviews but I just couldn't ignore how irked I was reading this since I was really looking forward to it as I heard it has a well taught out world
Granny and Nº3 suddenly can create worlds overnight for them to train and explore. That is forced as fvck, the story was ok up until that point.
I’m in love with it I would love to see this novel get 200+ chapters I feel like he did a lot of planning on the story line and I’m excited to see this story continue
Wow. The work is good. The pacing of the story is measured and stable and nothing has felt too forced so far. My main criticism is that the author is a bit inexperienced and this shows in his character design and use of suspense. Some of the characters are too one-dimensional and do things in an unrealistic way. Others are exaggeratedly childish in a way that is unbecoming. For the fight that just concluded, there was so much foreshadowing that the mystery was killed. Foreshadowing should be balanced because it is an object of confusion. It is designed to keep the audience guessing that something might happen. The author used it so much that I knew a difficult fight was coming about 4 chapters before the fight happened. That aside, the world-building of the story is gradual and well-rounded. The premise is an interesting one and the element of suspense surrounding the different activities keeps you interested. The writing quality is superb, no choppy paragraphs or wrong use of grammar and the inter-character interactions are interesting. Solid 4.8 for the story. I would encourage any with an appetite for fiction to read it.
Dear Visitor/Hoping-to-be-future-reader! Below you can find my own review of this story. I hesitated to do one myself, as it feels cheap (you obviously won’t rate your own story below 5-stars, however, probably currently I’m the only one who can give you the deepest insight into what this story is going to be about. Please take your time to read it through and then make your own judgment about if you would be giving it a try. **** Important: STORY: The story is about who, -in very mysterious circumstances- dies, and gets another chance from a being known as Ioris, before his soul would be cast into the Wheel of Reincarnation. The reason this almighty-being took a liking to our poor protagonist is because his soul was different from the others, something unique, something that this being hasn’t seen since countless millennia. Giving it another chance at life, he blesses our hero, giving him a helper, another higher existence, along with a System, that will aid him on his quest as the Last of his kind, the Last Primal. As a primal, he first has to understands the limits and purpose of his existence, than reclaim what was taken from him, and reclaim his rightful place in the world. CHARACTERS: Most characters have their own personality, their desires, their wants, their needs. There are countless races across the world, almost everything you can imagine in a fantasy world have their presence here. The pacing is slow at the beginning, but that is deliberate, every epic story needs a good start, this is the same here. To understand his future choices and actions, you also need to understand Aiden’s past, his ‘childhood’, the ups- and downs of his life in it’s full spectrum. Writing Quality: There might be some grammar errors, and an occasional slip-up with the genderswap. I try to make sure this doesn’t happen, and I do 2 rounds of checkups (+ I’m using Grammarly as well). Stability of Updates: 1 new chapter between 1500-1700 is something I promised to myself at the start of this journey. One thing I can safely say: This story will not be dropped, no matter what. Unless something happens to me, this story will receive it’s finish at some point in the future. World Background: There are countless hours already invested in this story, among with years of writing and playtime testing in the world you are going to experience. There are literally hundreds of pages of lore that I (and my friends during our RPG nights) created in the past. I did refresh the world and the main story when I decided to go public.