บท 33: anger
"Wait, you want us to meet the volturi?" Julius asked.
"Yes I do, but not yet, maybe in a few months to a year, preferably when Jane has more control over herself." I say, pointing the stick I was using in the fire at Jane, who just raised an eyebrow at me, her smile gone, and the cold emotionless mask back in place.
"Why now?" Julius asked.
"Well, if the volturi were willing to come here, where they knew I lived, and practically take a shit in my garden while looking me in the eyes, then run away, means they are getting bold, and if they are getting bold that means they are getting stronger, and are at a point in power where they believe they can start applying there power to do as they wish, without the fear of repercussions, which means they are about to get ready to fight the Romanian coven."
Julius slowly nodded his head, with a thoughtful look on his face, as he went over my words.
Julius opened his mouth to ask a question, but was cut off by jane.
"The Romanian coven?" Jane asked.
"Yes the Romanian coven" Julius says in an offhand manner.
Then he opened his mouth to ask me another question, but was cut off again.
"Who is the Romanian coven?" Jane asked, this time looking at me.
"The Romanian coven is the current ruling vampiric coven."
"Vampires have rulers," Jane asked, tilting her head to the side slightly.
It was my idea to keep Jane away from the political world that the vampires have.
In an attempt to keep her mind more focused on her training, because the first year of being a vampire. They tend to be very unstable, mentally, and in their ability to control themselves around humans and their blood.
things were starting to move in the vampire world, and fast, and now I had a choice either to tell her or not.
Of course I told her about the volturi, but I didn't tell her about the other covens spread across the known world. And now that the war with the Romanian coven seemed to be coming closer I had no choice but to tell her, to prepare her for what to expect and what will likely happen.
"Yes, the vampires have ruling covens, at the moment it's the Romanian coven, and the volturi are about to go to war with them in hopes of taking the throne for ruling coven."
Jane looked past me, With a thoughtful expression on her face at my words.
"The Romanian coven are the worst of the worst, they kill humans in cold blood and for no reason, other than the fact that they think that they are gods among men" I say looking back down at the fire in front of me, the memories of the people I tried to help flashing through my mind.
"The Romanian coven doesn't sound like such a bad coven to me," Jane said, in an uncaring tone.
Julius froze at her words and so did I.
Julius's eyes flashed to me as he watched me, looking to see if I would do something to Jane.
The anger her words caused in me was like an ocean of hate and rage, unleashed from the depths of my mind where they laid chained, to break free and come flooding to the surface.
They didn't even see me move.
Unconsciously my body reacted, and before I or the others knew what was happening I had Jane by the neck, and lifted almost a foot off the ground, by the neck.
I stared Jane dead in the eye, the normal jovial spark to my eyes was gone, now they were as cold as ice, as I looked into her soul.
"How heartless have you become." I said in a cold tone.
"Where the people who murder innocent people "doesn't sound so bad"." I asked Jane, daring her to answer.
"They have killed untold thousands of innocent people, for the fact that they wanted to. Entire villages, massacred to the last infant, because a group of vampires wanted to." I said my voice slowly rising, as my grip grew stronger on her neck.
"You hate humans for what they did to you and your brother, and you have a right to hate people, but only hate the village that tried to kill you, not the entire species, because of a group of people who will be dead in a few decades while you stay the same." I yelled at her.
Jane's eyes were now round in fear, as my anger increased.
"I tried to save some of them once, you know" I said, now in a quieter voice.
"And I managed to do so a few time, moving a few villages to the far north, but once the Romanian coven found out what I was doing they amassed a large group of vampires to track me down, and kill me, there was to many of them to fight so i ran, of course they couldn't catch me, but they made me pay for my actions, buy killing a whole village of innocent people, as I watched from a distance. back then I was weak, and afraid, and I couldn't save them because of it, and even now there is only so much I can do on my own, that's why I need the volturi, but for you to say the death of innocent people is "okay" is disgusting and so hypocritical it make me sick" I said to her.
"you stand on your high ground, acting like they were in the right for killing them, like their lives never mattered, because your life almost came to an end by a group of villagers who were afraid, which you thought gave you the right to hate every breathing person to exist."
"Adam, you need to calm down." Julius said, zooming to my side and placing a hand on the arm that was holding Jane up.
I looked over at him, causing him to flinch at what he saw.
What he saw was the part of me, I was able to push down, far enough to forget.
Using my emotion dampeners, I was always able to push them down and away, but never able to destroy them, with Jane's words she was able to bring them to the front.
And now I looked at Julius with the eyes of a person who has seen more death than any living being alive, a man who has seen the collapse of nations, wars, plagues, and thw constant death of his friends, one by one.
The real immortal.
Julius took a step back at my stare, he knew, if I was to attack him, I wouldn't hold myself back like I normally did.
Looking back at Jane, I saw the fear in her eyes as she stared back at me, with her half gold and red eyes.
"You have more than a right to hate that village for what they did to you and your brother, but that doesn't give you the right to hate all humans, I am thousands of years old and I have seen the darkest side of humanity more times than I can count, giving me more of a right to hate them then you, but I have also seen the good in humanity as well." I say my voice almost a whisper.
By this point I was able to get my emotions pushed back down and under lock, at least enough to where I wasn't going to kill the both of them.
And after taking a few more calming breaths, I slowly lowered Jane back to the ground.
And something happened to me, for the first time, I could remember since I came to this world.
Tears began to slowly fall from my eyes, and run down my face.
At first I was a little shocked to feel them fall, bringing my hand up to my face, I wiped away the tears that continued to fall freely.
[ALERT]
Recalibration of emotion inhibitors needed.
Self diagnoses activated.
[Loading…loading…loading…ERROR.]
[Overload of emotional dampeners detected.]
Said a robotic voice in my head.
Recalibration needed.
Loading new parameters for recalibration.
[Loading…loading…loading…ERROR.]
New parameters for emotional overload not found.
Self calibration activated.
Activation of basic self AI readjustment parameters activated.
Starting adjustments now…
With those last words, everything went black and I became weightless, floating in a black abyss.
________
This is where Jane is going to change from the cold uncaring person, to a real person with compassion.
Let me know what you think of the chapter. And if there are any problems that need fixing.
บท 34: talking (part 1)
Floating in the abyss was a strange experience, it was like I was floating in a completely dark piece of space, with no stars to be seen, just a completely dark space.
With no ability to move, see, hear, or feel anything.
So, While floating aimlessly, I thought about what I had just done.
I had let my emotions take control of my actions.
Of course it was a reasonable response, to what Jane had said, but since I had come here, to this world, I had never had such a reaction to something, no matter how angry, or sad I got, I was always able to stay calm and reasonably in control of myself, in any situation, I could act how I wanted and not on pure emotions.
But from what I gathered from the system, was that the full attack of all of my emotions at once overwhelmed the dampeners, bringing the full brunt of my emotions at once, to the front. emotions I only felt a quieter of before, I had felt it all at once and in full.
I had finally pushed down too many bad memories, that my emotional dampeners couldn't dampen them all when they came out, and when they came to the surface, the dampeners were overwhelmed.
Which didn't surprise me, the memories, of massicurs, and the death of untold amounts, that I had seen, and pushed down, had finally come to the surface in a wave of force.
Normally, only one or two bad memories would come to the surface at a time, which was manageable, but this time, every single bad memory I could remember, rushed up and out of the dark corner I hid them, overloading the dampeners.
As I had that thought, I got the sensation that I was moving.
Unable to see anything, or do anything about it, I just went with it.
The sensation of moving got faster and faster, until eventually it felt like I was moving at light speed, then with a jolt, it came to a complete stop, and the feeling of Weight came back to me, as well as the rest of my senses, all at once.
Jolting up right, I looked around, and found myself in my room.
I was panting hard, and a cold sweat glistened on my forehead.
I was in my bed, which was surrounded by scrolls, shelves full of hundreds of scrolls and texts I had collected over the years. Next to my bed was a lit candle on the side table, the candle was half burned out, with its flickering light casting a warm and radiant glow, to gracefully dancing on the walls.
Looking down at myself, I saw, I was only in my trousers, my tunic and shoes were gone. standing from my bed, I walked to the latched window that was on one side of my room.
Unlatching the piece of wood that held the wooden shutters closed.
I opened the shutters. Once open, I could see the night sky, with sparkling stars and the moon hanging High in the night sky.
'I guess I'm back to normal' I thought as I checked my mental state, and couldn't feel anything out of the ordinary.
I even checked my system screen, but didn't find any message or note, to tell me if I had been fixed.
Closing, and re latching the shutters, I went to my door and opened it.
My bedroom was connected to the main sitting room, where the large fireplace was, as well as my chairs.
Peaking my head out of the door, I saw Julius sitting in his chair reading a scroll, when he heard the door open he looked over and saw me.
In a flash, Julius was out of his chair and in front of me.
"Adam, are you alright." He asked in a rush.
I nodded my head at his words.
"I'm fine Julius, how long have I been out." I asked him, cutting him off before he could ask any more questions.
"Only a few hours, you fainted in the woods, so I had to carry you back here." He said, A look of concern on his face.
Looking past Julius's and around the room, I didn't see Jane, which was strange, normally I could always find her close to julius.
Looking at Julius I asked him.
"Where is Jane?"
Julius let out a small sigh.
"She is out front, I tried to get her to come inside but she refuses to come in." He said, looking at the front door.
"My guess is that She feels ashamed for what she said today, it took you nearly killing her and telling her the hard truth which we had been avoiding doing until she was on a more stable mental ground to do so, to finally realize how morbid and cold hearted she had become." He said, looking back at me.
Slowly nodding my head, I asked him.
"Has she said anything to you?"
Julius shook his head.
"She won't even look me in the eyes, let alone talk to me." He said.
"I'm going to go talk to her," I said, taking a step back to enter my room.
"I don't think that is a good idea." Julius said, as he followed me into my room, as I put on a new tunic, then my shoes.
"And why is that?" I asked him, while putting my shoes on.
"Adam, you scared her today…you scared me as well." He said, his voice becoming quieter.
I looked up at him, stopping what I was doing.
"That look in your eyes today, it was a look I had never seen before, a look as cold as ice and as deadly as death itself." He said, not looking me in the eyes.
"Julius…look at me." I said, in the quiet room.
Slowly, Julius looked over at me.
"That part of me, Julius, is the part of me, I buried deep down, and tried to forget. I'm sure you yourself have seen things that you have buried in the back of your mind, to be forgotten." I asked him.
Julius slowly nodded his head at my words.
"That's the downside of our lives, our never ending lives. It's that we will see things that scare us, people we know dieing, wars, plagues, all of it we must watch while we stay young for the rest of eternity, unmard by the passage of time, without the fear of death, but covered in mental scars that can run as deep as the ocean." I say, standing to my feet.
"And today, the thousands of years of scars and bad memories I buried, came to the surface."
Julius now looked me in the eyes.
"I'm sorry Julius for my actions today," I continued.
"I guess her words brought up some bad memories and I acted on the rage they made me feel, they were the catalyst that unleashed all of my buried memories." I said softly.
Julius stared at me for a moment before a small smile crept onto his face.
" I forgive you old man." He said, giving my shoulder a small punch.
Patting him on the shoulder I finished getting dressed, before speaking to him again.
"I'm going outside, do you want to come with me? I think you, being there, will help her with what I need to say to her."
Julius nodded his head.
"Yes I will come with you."
Stepping past Julius, I walked to the front door, with Julius right behind me.
Opening the wooden front door to my home, I took a step outside, the late night cold air, brushing its cold breeze on my face.
As soon as I stepped out, I was able to see Jane sitting under the large beech tree that swayed in the night air by my house.
She sat there in the dark, staring up at the stars, overhead.
She never looked down, as me and Julius walked towards her.
Stopping a few feet from her, I didn't say anything, and sat down in front of her, while Julius sat next to her, close enough for his shoulder to almost touch hers.
Looking up at the night sky, I spoke.
"It's a beautiful night isn't it?" I asked her, my soft voice loud in the quiet night.
Jane slowly lowered her head, avoiding my eyes.
"Jane, we need to speak." I said softly.
Jane again didn't say anything.
"I'm not mad at you." I said, my words like thunder, in Jane's ears.
Jane's eyes snapped to my face.
And as her eyes met mine, I could see the fear in them.
The same fear I saw, when I was ready to snap her neck into dust.
The vulnerability, the regret, and the sadness she held inside.
It made me feel ashamed for my actions.
Yes her words were anything but right, but at the same time, she also had scars from her human life.
Where it was only her and her brother against the whole village who thought they were witches, and the same day their mother died, the villagers tied them to poles then set them on fire.
"I need to apologize for what I did today." I said.
"Of course we both made mistakes today, but I should have handled it better, and never put your life in danger like I did."
Jane shook her head, at my words.
"No, it's my fault, I should have never said what I said, you were right, I have no right to hate humans, and that the death of innocent people is a terrible thing. I am just so confused on how I should feel." She said, looking back up at the night sky.
"I want to hate them so much…every last one of them, or…I did." Jane looked back at me.
"But what you said was true, I shouldn't hate them all, just the ones from my village. It's just any time I think of regular people, I think of them, and I fight with myself, trying not to hate everyone."
I nodded my head at her words.
"They hated us for the fact we were different, made it impossible to survive, where nobody was willing to give us jobs, and when our mother got ill, nobody would help us." She said, her words getting angrier.
"And then the same day she died, they came for us, and tried to burn us alive, for the simple fact that we were different, they didn't even let us bury her." she said with a sob.
Julius slowly lifted one of his arms and put it around Jane's shoulder.
Jane all but clung to him, her sobs echoing, in the now still night air.
We were quiet for a few moments, before Jane spoke again.
"And when I woke up, I found that my brother, one of the only things I had left, had been taken by a group of vampires, and that they left me behind to be burned alive, even though they had a chance to save me as well, and that I am now one of them, i just couldn't handle all the emotions i was having so i turned it all to hate." Jane finished, and never once moved away from Julius.
"It's natural to feel anger." I told her.
"But it's important that you don't take your anger out on others, like I did today." I said, scratching my head sheepishly.
"it only ever ends up doing damage to the undeserving, and yourself." I said.
"There is never a winner, only losers,".
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Please let me know if there are any problems. And please leave a comment and let me know what you think of the chapter.
And I have a question, is it so hard to believe that someone who has the knowledge to rule the world doesn't want to, I mean what if the Mc just wants a peaceful life, where he doesn't want to rule people, or control everything.
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