บท 12: A wish of death

*Later that night*

''Your majesty *cough* *cough* i-it already *cough* night time. Y-Your majesty should please drop the smoking pipe.'' Leanna could be seen struggling to talk with the heavy herbal scent of smoke clouding her. The poor maid already had misty eyes with tears about to drop and her face was red from the coughs and struggle to breathe.

''I listened to you this morning, Leanna. Now that we are out of sight, I don't see a problem with me taking a late night smoke.'' In her familiar flimsy silk gown, Rose could be seen casually on the bed with a familiar smoking pipe in her hand. Cloudy trails of smoke escaped her lips as she spoke to the coughing maid.

''You should leave before you faint, Leanna. I do not have the strength to carry your body out of here.''

''*cough* Y-Your majesty s-should stop speaking informally to this maid.'' Leanna struggled to say, putting a good distance between rose and herself.

''There's no one other than us, Leanna. Don't worry, there is no one other than you worthy of my informal speech. As for the others…''

There was a pause as rose pushed the smoking pipe into her lips and inhaled the herbal mixture. ''We both know that no one truly respects me in the imperial palace.'' She said, removing the smoking pipe and another trails of smoke wandered endlessly from her lips.

''…..Y-Your majesty has changed.'' Looking at the serene side profile of rose, Leanna couldn't stop the words from leaving her lips. With wide eyes, she quickly covered up her lips as though realizing what she uttered just now.

''Changed?'' With a faint tug on the corner of her lips, Rose repeated in a question. ''Tell me Leanna, what was I like before?'' She focused her curious gaze to the maid that looked much better than earlier.

What was the empress like in the eyes of others? Rose was very curious to know.

''.…should this maid be honest, your majesty?'' After a momentary pause, Leanna let down her hands from her lips.

''Of course.''

''Then….'' Leanna took a pause trying to find the right words to answer the question. What was the empress like in the past?

''To this maid, your majesty has always been very kind. Your majesty always smiled no matter what. But…sometimes, this maid had felt no sincerity behind that smile.''

Yes.

The empress has always been seen by many with a smile on her lips. At the beginning when she started to serve the empress, Leanna never thought too deeply about that smile.

But….when seconds turned to minutes and minutes turned hours and hours turned to days and days turned to forever, she started to think that something was wrong with the empress who always had a smile on her lips.

Even amid the unfavorable rumors about her circulating within the imperial palace, the smile had never dropped from her lips.

Was it normal someone to be always smiling like that for a very long time? Leanna knew that was impossible for anyone.

However, the Empress was an exception. No matter what, she always had a smile on her lips even in the absence of many eyes.

''The only time, this maid has ever seen your majesty with a sincere and happy smile is with his majesty.''

''...''

''Your majesty's love always shines deeply for his majesty. This maid has always admired such strong feelings from your majesty.'' As Leanna spoke, her face had a small smile as though she was reminiscing the past. Rose noticed such but her face remained blank as she listened to the words about the empress.

''But…'' There was a subtle pause in Leanna's words. ''The happiness did not seem to have lasted on your majesty.'' Her tone turned a bit heavy, fitting the agonizing feelings in her heart.

The only times where she had seen a sincere smile on the empress was whenever the emperor was close by. Like a bud opening its petals after the winter, the empress would always bloom like the flower.

Her amethyst eyes would always sparkle like jewels just at the sight of the emperor. It was very obvious to anyone that she had strong feelings for the emperor.

However….

As the years flowed by, Leanna had noticed how that sincere smile dimmed little by little like the empress had lost her shine, even in the presence of the emperor.

Leanna had always known without guess that the emperor was surely the reason. There was no one other than him who would have been responsible for the empress's rare sincere smile reverting to the usual one.

''Forgive this maid for this blasphemy your majesty, but this maid had overheard your majesty's words about death.''

''...''

''Your majesty once talked about dying in the garden. When your majesty had encountered such accident with the queen, this maid thought that your majesty's earnest wish had finally come true.'' At this point, Leanna held her tears in and the threatening sobs about to escape her lips

That moment when she had to nurse an unconscious empress back to health with the imperial physicians was one of the worst times of her life.

If the emperor hadn't saved the empress on time, not only would she have lost a kind mistress, she wouldn't have known how to explain all these to the Grand duke who had ordered her to keep a close eye on the empress.

''...''

''This is what this maid thinks about your majesty.''

''….I see.'' Following Leanna's words, rose only said two words before the atmosphere became a bit solemn and awkward in the room.

''Have you prepared the quarters for Valerie and her family?'' Rose asked on another topic different from the heavy one about the empress.

''This maid is working on it, your majesty.''

''See to it that everything is in order before the day of their arrival.''

''As your majesty wishes.''

''You may withdraw for the night, Leanna.''

''Have a good night, your majesty.''

Following Leanna's words, Rose watched as the door went shut before slipping the smoking pipe into her mouth.

''Death huh…'' Releasing the puff of smoke from her lips, rose wondered aloud as her gaze focused elsewhere in the exquisite interior of the large bed chambers.

To think the empress had once wanted to be among the world of the dead….

'How come I don't have her memories of that moment…' Rose suddenly realized that she didn't find any of what Leanna said in the memories of the empress.

Did Leanna lie to her? or was there something else that she wasn't aware of about the empress?

''Mysteries aren't my thing…'' A troubled sigh came out of Rose lips. If the empress had truly wished to die, then did that mean that her coming to this world was somehow connected to her actions?

If this was the reason behind her soul entering this world, then how did the empress have her wish come true?

Who and what power could grant such wish?

Unfortunately, Rose didn't have answers to her own thoughts.

*****

*five days later*

''Your majesty, please accept the life of this old commoner as a token of gratitude.''

''...''

''And they are?'' Staring at the aging man and a young boy in worn-out clothes kneeling on the bare floor of the drawing room, Rose questioned feeling a little uncomfortable with those words.

''This commoner's father and young brother, your majesty.'' Valerie amid her father and younger brother was the one who replied to the question.

''…..this empress doesn't need a life as token of gratitude.'' Rose said after a brief pause. ''Your daughter has given what this empress desires. You, as a father should be proud of her achievement.''

''Your majesty has no idea how this commoner did not believe her words about living in the imperial palace.'' Valerie's father smiled with brimming tears around his eyelids. His own daughter working as the empress's only seamstress….even till this moment, he couldn't believe that he was personally discussing with the empress herself.

''Was it that hard to believe?'' Rose smiled to herself, trying to imagine the surprise this old man felt when Valerie told him about working as her seamstress.

''And this empress has never told any of you to kneel.'' She pointed out, recalling how the old man just dropped on his knees and bowed with his head touching the ground before she could say anything. Just the sight of the old man bowing to her stabbed her consciousness.

''This commoner just feels endless gratitude for your majesty.''

''Your daughter's skills are more than enough gratitude for this empress. Valerie assist your father in getting up.'' Rose was now getting annoyed with how the old man seemed to revere her like a god.

''As your majesty wishes.'' Before her father could react, Valerie had already gotten up to assist him. The movement beside her caught Rose's attention and her eyes took in the skinny sight of the young boy.

According to Valerie, this should be her younger brother.

'….You don't seem happy to be here…' Rose noticed the subtle frown on his lips. Unlike the jovial atmosphere around his sister and father, he was the complete opposite with the air of unwillingness around him.

''What do you do for a living?''

''This servant's son and this servant worked on the farm, your majesty.'' replied Valerie's father.

''Hm. Leanna, have the head maid come to the empress's palace. This empress will like to add a new gardener for the garden. As for the child, he will start to learn duties of a butler. This empress wants him as a personal butler.''

''As your majesty wishes.''

Either way, Valerie's skill was she wanted in her grasp. Whether the child liked it or not, he would have to start living in the empress's palace.

''Is this to your liking?''

''Why does your majesty ask? This old commoner is more than grateful.'' The shoulders of Valerie's father trembled in happiness. If not for his daughter holding him, he would love to give another sincere bow to the empress.

His daughter was the empress's seamstress and his son was going to be a butler. There was nothing more that he wanted, other than to see his children flourishing in their respective lives.

As a father, guilt had always eaten him up alive with how his children always worked and suffered because of the endless poverty. Because of him, their mother, his wife had died due to hunger from the times of the great wars.

Because of him, their daughter had to make a hard decision of going to the imperial capital and use her skills as a seamstress to make money to send back.

Only if he had money, his family wouldn't have suffered this much.

However, their lives have now changed for the better.

''Thank you for saving this commoner's family, your majesty.'' Valerie's father expressed his gratitude when thinking of how much his family had suffered to get to this point of their lives.

'...' Staring at the sight of the old man crying in his daughter's embrace, Rose pursed her lips and took her gaze away from such sight.

From the start, she had no plans of trying to appear as a kind woman in the eyes of others. If Valerie didn't have unique skills of a seamstress, she wouldn't have bothered with such family.

''Like this empress has said earlier, your daughter's skills are more than enough as a token of gratitude.''

Even if she had no plans of doing such, Rose had to agree that witnessing the happiness of another because of her own actions brought a sense of fulfillment to her heart.