บท 19: Cassian’s departure
Isabelle's POV
Isabelle slowly made her way to her bedroom. She went to bed that night feeling nervous but not nearly as anxious as over past few days. She held her hand that Cassian has brushed over as if she tried to preserve the feeling. It was electrifying, warm, and comforting.
In the morning, as Isabelle passed by the main hall, there was a rush of people.
"Good morning, princess." Samuel appeared beside her with a wide smile.
Isabelle looked at him. "Good morning, sir."
"Sir?" Samuel laughed. "Giving me a cold shoulder, are you?"
"As you've said, you're the royal advisor. I should treat you as one."
"And if I weren't, what would you call me?"
"A pretentious pillock." Isabelle uttered before she gave it much thought. She turned red in embarrassment, realising that she just said out loud the first thought that popped in her head.
Samuel burst into laughter. "I much rather that than being called 'sir'."
Isabelle scowled at him. "Aren't you going to the summit?"
"No. His majesty didn't want me to go since I've caused some havoc last time."
"You seem like a stellar first advisor." Isabelle said sarcastically.
"Aren't you happy that I'll get to spend time with you?"
"Not in the slightest."
"Cassian!" Samuel shouted towards him. Isabelle retreated as she saw the tall man walk towards them.
"Samuel." Cassian came over giving Samuel a stern look. His choice to have Samuel stay behind was made weeks before and he started to regret it now. Samuel was still his best friend and he trusted him, but only to a point. His jealousy has made it rather difficult. "Everything good?"
"Yeah. Kingsley send you a few knights to take with you." Samuel smiled.
"I hope everything around the castle is going to be in order."
"Of course. And it seems like myself and her highness will get along just fine."
Isabelle flinched at Samuel's tone of voice.
"Adeline, tell him to go away if he bothers you." Cassian said in hope that Isabelle will stay away from Samuel.
"Don't you worry." Samuel said to Cassian with a gleaming smile. "She already called me a pretentious pillock." He laughed as he repeated it.
"It seems like she has you all worked out then." Cassian nodded in approval. Samuel and him walked down the stairs towards the main entrance. Isabelle stayed behind watching the preparations with interest and at a safe distance. "By the way…" Cassian hesitated as he spoke to Samuel. "About yesterday…"
"Don't worry. I am not going to touch your wife. No matter how much she begs me." Samuel said teasingly. Cassian scowled at him.
"Samuel…" Cassian let out an exasperated sigh.
"I know. She's my princess and I will listen her and obey her word. That's the promise I can give. Besides, I have plenty of duties to attend to so I will not have much time to wind her up."
Cassian looked back at Isabelle who stood on the balcony and watched curiously the knights by the entrance. She was too engrossed in watching the knights to notice his glance. He smiled as he looked back down.
"A pretentious pillock?" Cassian asked as he started putting his gloves on.
"Her words, not mine." Samuel smiled. "One advantage of me bothering her is how quickly she's coming out of her shell."
"Yeah. As much as I hate it, it seems to work. And I give it to her, she sees right through you."
"Pretentious, maybe. But a pillock?" Samuel asked Cassian.
"You know my thoughts on this. And I've called you worse in the battle."
"I know."
"You are definitely lucky that I haven't chopped your head off."
"Come on! Executions are out-ruled in Ariadna. What example would you be setting?"
"I would make it look like an accident."
"Wouldn't you miss my royal counsel?"
"Again, I'm sure you know the answer."
Cassian looked up at the balcony again, hoping to say goodbye to Isabelle but she was no longer there. "What good royal advisor is banned from the summit after getting drunk and starting a brawl along with a king of Valarie?"
"At least we're in good graces with Valarie. King Constantine was a good sport."
"Yeah, but not with the kingdoms that we are already worried about."
"I didn't do that much. It's not my fault that princeling's arm snapped like a matchstick." Samuel shrugged at which Cassian scowled.
"Maybe Isabelle is right to question your position as the royal advisor."
"Certainly." Samuel admitted. "I'm as bad as it gets but also as good as it gets."
"Yeah, something like that."
Cassian put on his light leather armour and warm cape on.
"Take care, your highness. Send a message if you need more knights."
"You sound like you suddenly care." Cassian chuckled at Samuel as they walked out into the chill morning air. "Expect me back within three days."
"In that much of a rush?"
"I've spent years away from my home. I don't want to waste any more time."
"I understand." Samuel turned more serious.
Cassian bid his goodbye and left the castle grounds with the convoy of knights.
Maybe if he turned around he would have spotted Isabelle, who didn't just leave but who went up the floor where she had a view of the front courtyard and carefully observed the knights preparing for departure, and Cassian. She was still mesmerised by him. She still felt a sharp pain through her chest at his sight and a reminder of the love she has lost.
Atlas was kind, and funny, and smart, and witty. And handsome, of course. He was the type of a person that left the imprint on you after the single interaction.
He made her feel important and needed. It was the only time she felt as if she was valued and liked for who she really was.
She wrote to him for years to come but once her grandfather died and she moved into the castle, the letters became increasingly infrequent until one day they stopped altogether. She braved herself and asked her step-mother and father about Atlas. Her father was dismissive and he coldly told her of Atlas' death. Her step-mother pulled her away and walked her to her room where she yelled at her and belittled her for supposed indecent encounter with a man and tarnishing the name of her family.
The scar left by this was deeper than anything else.
She thought that she was over him when her father let her know of the marriage to the prince of Ariadna. She knew, of course, that Atlas had a brother. She knew that marrying a prince of Ariadna meant facing her past again. She never thought that they could look so alike. Perhaps because she was so different from her sister that she never thought she get to see those eyes again.
Now, she didn't know how she could live with the everyday torment that this marriage would bring. Seeing her very husband was like ripping her chest open.
But yet, as he was leaving the castle, she looked after him. She looked at his mannerisms, at the way he interacted with Samuel. She caught a glimpse of his face as he said something to his royal advisor.
That face was so familiar. If it weren't that she knew that Atlas was dead, she would have thought that he stood right there. But it was impossible.
"Your highness, I've searched for you so long!" Matilda appeared behind her, snapping her back. Now, Cassian and his knights were mere dots in the distance.
"I'm sorry, Matilda." Isabelle obediently moved away from the window.
"You know, absence makes the heart grow fonder." Matilda smiled warmly. "But for now, breakfast might be a good distraction."
Isabelle nodded without the word and followed Matilda down to the servants' quarters where she silently ate her breakfast with the rest. Jane was enthusiastically speaking of something but Isabelle struggled to do any more than nod at her.
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