บท 17: Chapter 17: A Restless Night

Jude POV

How could he have lost his senses like that? Let his wolf take over?

She'd been so sweet and lovely and understanding …

"I'm sorry," he muttered. "It's just … I'm the Alpha. And you've been on a shelf like one of your pretty crystals."

"EXCUSE ME?"

"Bad choice of words. What I mean is, we're both lonely."

Her amethyst eyes snapped. "So that's an excuse for us both losing our heads, for me behaving like a teenager when I know better, and forgetting exactly why I'm here? I'm here to find you the political marriage of your dreams–"

"Not of my dreams! Fenrir's guts!"

The words came out in a roar.

He continued, trying to ignore the wonderful scent of her and the sweet taste of her kiss, the feel of her hair and skin. "My DREAMS were to grow old with my mate and go together to the Moon Goddess. We talked about it."

Ravyn's breath came out in spurts. "If that's true, then why and how did she make you promise not to be alone?"

Jude padded over to the bed and sank down. This was getting to be a habit, kissing Ravyn while out of control in his bedroom or at least in a place he planned to sleep. At least he'd been fully awake and aware this time. He stared at the carvings on the dresser, remembering when they'd brought it home.

* * * * *

FIFTEEN YEARS AGO

"It's a good thing you have muscles," Emer said playfully, supervising as Jude and Harland moved the heavy piece of furniture to the exact spot she desired.

Wiping his brow, red-faced, Harland said, "Well, mine are thirsty. Can I get either of you anything from the kitchen?"

"We'll be down shortly," Jude said, flexing his own sore arms.

Harland nodded and left before they asked him to haul one more chair or table or chest into the bedroom.

Surveying the new furnishings with satisfaction, Emer leaned her head on his shoulder. "I think we should wait before we ask him to move the new big-girl bed into Mali's room."

He kissed her lovingly. "How did I get such a wise mate?"

"Other than listening to the Moon Goddess, I'd say it's because you decided to take a chance when I snuck into that Mate Ball."

Stroking her hair that still seemed perfectly styled despite all their labors, he said, "I can't imagine anyone else as my mate."

Her blue eyes turned serious. "Neither can I … but things happen, like my Uncle Fergus. After losing my aunt, all he wants is to be left alone. He has that luxury. An Alpha doesn't."

He stiffened, his eyes turning wolf gold.

"Don't glower at me."

"Then don't talk like that."

The wind got knocked out of him as she tackled him. Only his agility kept them from crashing onto the floor. He managed to land on the bed with an "OOOF."

Gazing down at him, Emer pinned him, refusing to let him up. "I'll let you up–but you have to make me a promise first."

He growled, strangely aroused, and nipped her on the shoulder, tasting the floral scent on her skin. "You are out of your mind, woman."

She pinned his arms to the bed. "I'm serious, Jude."

Surrendering, he lay quietly even though he could easily shove her off. "What do you want?"

Her eyes blazed like the sun in the blue sky. "Promise me that if the Moon Goddess takes me first, you'll find someone again and make her your Luna. Promise me you won't be alone. Swear it!"

"Since we'll grow old together, it won't be an issue. I promise" He nuzzled her neck. "Now, I think I'm in the mood for something to quench my thirst, and I choose you."

In answer, she kissed him, her lips sweeter and more refreshing than water or wine.

* * * * *

In the present, Jude turned away from studying the carved doves huddled together on the front of the dresser and looked into Ravyn's cool, calm eyes. How could she appear so put together after that kiss launched him halfway to the moon, and after she trembled in his arms?

"She wanted you to be happy," Ravyn said softly.

"She wanted me to find a new Luna and companion," he corrected.

Ravyn let out a wolflike growl. "Why are men so dense? The Goddess gives you ears to hear, but you don't listen!"

His hackles rose. "You think you know better than I do what Emer intended?"

His wolf couldn't resist pointing out that Ravyn was right–Emer had a loving, generous heart.

"And what of you? I can't be the only male to kiss you since HE left."

She stiffened, lifting her chin. "No, but there weren't many, and it stopped at kissing. Witches view that sort of thing differently. Sharing sexual energy isn't something we do lightly. Lilia didn't, Anneliese didn't, and neither did I. Especially knowing that you and I don't have a future. You're a friend … an ally … someone all the Cresta boys look up to as a brother, even though you're a little older."

Fenrir's guts, he hadn't even thought about the Crestas when he kissed Ravyn. What would his close friend Dane think? He'd seen Dane take on everyone who threatened or insulted his family. Could Jude himself wind up on the business end of Dane's claws and teeth and Alpha power–and facing all the Crestas combined?

"I value your friendship," he said, hating how formal he sounded. "And I don't want to make anyone want to challenge me. So, I'll say goodnight. Tomorrow I'll show you more of my home before we travel to Wildefell."

Ravyn nodded. "Then we both should get some rest."

Calmly and coolly, she left his bedroom.

Jude shifted into wolf form to go run and burn off some of the fire in his blood. Even after exhausting himself, he still had trouble falling asleep, knowing that Ravyn slept under the same roof.

"Mate," Arcturus growled. "Go get our mate."

Jude rolled over in his lonely room and tried to ignore Arcturus as he waited for sleep.

Goddess, how he wanted Ravyn Rolfe and yearned for her company. But she'd become as cool as the moon afterwards.

No. Stick to the plan. Meet Queen Ylavi Crystalsprite in Wildefell and hope that they liked each other and could rule the pack together.

* * * * *

Ravyn POV

Inside her bedroom, wrapped in her witch's robe for comfort, she paced, no longer soothed by the beautiful furnishings and the stars spangling the night sky outside her window.

How could she have let passion sweep her away so completely?

How could she forget why she'd come here?

Jude's kisses had felt intoxicating and his touch stirred the deepest pleasure she'd known in a long time. And inside his bedroom, even with the ghost of Emer everywhere, they'd been truly alone together, free to explore whatever this attraction was.

Except that they weren't free.

Jude needed his fated mate, and as far as she knew, that wasn't her. The Wise Woman, Eirika, had simply said Jude needed a senior witch to find his mate. But if she knew anything about Wise Women at all, their words often had hidden meanings …

Had Eirika in reality been pushing them together?

She couldn't be Jude's fated mate, his Luna … could she? No, ridiculous. She already had a family and a pack and a full life.

Restless, she placed one of her clear quartz globes on a table and concentrated, projecting herself into Cresta House.

"MOTHER?"

A very rumpled Lilia and Dane emerged from beneath the covers of their bed and Ravyn blushed. "I'm so sorry."

"Are you alright?" Lilia asked, breathless.

Ravyn noted the absence of pups from the bed and the sparkly-eyed looks on their faces and she blushed. "Yes. I just wanted to say goodnight to everyone."

"Ah. Well, I trust everything is calm in Graywolf City," Dane said with composure.

"Oh yes, everyone's been wonderful." She hastily added, looking everywhere but at the couple, "Jude and I will be traveling to Wildefell tomorrow."

"You're in good hands," Dane said, struggling to be polite.

"Yes. Well. We'll let you know when we're safely there. Goodnight, my darlings."

Ravyn ended the spell and paced the room for several minutes afterwards, trying to soothe herself by listening to the crackling of the fire. Whyever had she felt compelled to talk to Lilia? She'd always been independent whenever she was in Wildefell or when she traveled.

She should have tried to talk to Tulaska again … but would the Wise Woman really spill her secrets? And did Ravyn want to know?

YES. She wanted to know if Wise Woman Eirika had foreseen that she would be Jude's fated mate, or if Ravyn had gone round the bend and let her desires lead her by the nose.

Perhaps tomorrow she could arrange to have a private word with Eirika, to tease out any further information. She'd learned that Wise Women kept their secrets more tightly guarded than a lord's vault, but she'd also gotten good at prying little nuggets of truth from Tulaska and Roslynn. She could find out something.

Better to know now, before she went to Wildefell and made a mess of things by introducing Jude to Queen Ylavi. If she was meant for Jude …

If she was, then that opened up an entire world she didn't know if she was prepared for. Not just because of Jude's son Bram, or because of Lilia–although that would be plenty. It would mean completely changing her life. Again. Becoming the Luna of the Silverpaw Pack. Not that a powerful witch shrank from such a challenge, of course–and it wasn't as if she hadn't seen the reality of the role intimately over the last three years. Without any knowledge whatsoever, her own daughter rose to the occasion and sniffed Jude's tail when she greeted him. But Lilia would agree that ruling a pack was very different from running a shop or even being one of the leaders in the Witch Circle. Jude's mate would need to be ready to wear the crown,

And Ravyn would need to be ready for a man in her life. Sharing her hopes and dreams, her sadness about Daxius … and her bed.

The idea sent heat through her body, passionately stirring the place between her legs in ways that she'd thought impossible. It was ridiculous–she wasn't ancient and withered! But she'd put her own desires aside and sat on a shelf like one of her crystals, just as Jude said.

She WAS scared, if she wanted to admit the truth–and she'd always demanded honesty from Lilia, her family, her friends, and herself.

She walked over to the gilt-framed mirror and examined herself. A woman with carefully brushed hair at bedtime, wearing a witch robe in a castle full of naked shifters. She felt most confident when presenting herself well. Her parents always taught her that, and she passed that on to Lilia. Always look your best, strive for elegance, even in private moments. But she loved the messy childhood days Lilia had, and had argued about raising children with fellow witches and Titania Hemming, Azandra's mother. Yet she and Titania always came away respecting each other and had much more in common than anyone would have guessed.

She had no disagreements with Emer about raising children. Would Emer approve of the way she'd treated Bram and Mali?

Her eyelids drooped and she felt tired after the exciting day. Slipping into bed, she tried to sleep, but thoughts of Jude kept her awake long into the night.