บท 709: Steel Waste - Author Review

Yo bois. *Ahem*, you may know me as the charming and very handsome Niggros, son of Nutterison and the great Emperor of the Kingdom known as 'Copeismplesium'... Like I had done for EBW I'ma sum up my thought for how Steel Waste went, how I think I could have improved upon it and where I went wrong.

The most obvious place to start would be, well, the start. The beginning of Steel Waste was rather controversial if I do say so myself, the Mc's rather blasé actions and attitude rubbing a few people the wrong way... Many didn't like the way I present the Mc, as he wasn't really something most would consider 'good'... He was lazy, unmotivated, disrespectful to his parents, and pretty arrogant.

To be honest, there isn't much I'd change about that though, it's how I wanted to present him, as I wanted to show his growth from a rather easy life on earth, to a hard, disciplined, and brutal one in the Brotherhood of Steel... Whether or not I accurately displayed that is debatable, but I think I did an 'alright' job.

A few people didn't like how he acted in the womb of his new mother, the kicking in particular raising a few hairs... Honestly, I thought it was a throwaway thing, it wasn't all that impactful and would probably be something I'd do if trapped in such a confined space for an extended period of time.

Mc growing up was fine, and I feel like I fleshed out the characters in the Brotherhood somewhat. Mainly focussing on Veronica and Christine, along with their relationship that wasn't really explored in the main game. Nothing I'd change on that part.

Moving along, the 'troupe' of both his parents dying was actually kind of required for the story to progress how I wanted... If the Mc's parents survived, they'd have likely been able to stop him from leaving the bunker, forcing him to stay for longer and actually missing Tamia's adventures.

The only thing I might change is the way I introduced the system... For some, the lack of explanation regarding the Pipboy was annoying, but there isn't really a way to explain how 'magical powers' were involved with the device. Suffice to say he became the Mc of the game and leave it like that. I myself haven't really considered it much, as it didn't really matter.

I'm happy with most of the things that happened from then on, Afton's meeting with Karl, tensions with the NCR, and adventures through the wasteland.

Obviously, there is one glaring thing that may have annoyed some of you... The lack of real romance. I avoided this early on for obvious reasons, my previous book EBW fucked that up royally, and I wasn't too keen to involve it all that much this time. Though, as I'll address later on, got added eventually, much to some people's chagrin.

If there was anything about the system I'd change, it'd probably be the sparse amount of quests it gave out. Along with the challenges you could do to gain extra perks, damage bonuses, and caps. I was going for a more realistic feel with it though, so I wanted to avoid making it completely game-like... Though, whether or not this actually worked, I'm unsure. Let me know if you liked it or wanted more of the system involved.

Speaking on my grammar and writing itself, I thought that was all fine. Nothing spectacular, but enough to get what I wanted across to you readers. I'm English, so many sayings, catchphrases, and other strange words I use may have gone over some of your heads, but in the context they were used, they should have been easily understandable... I haven't really received any complaints about it, so I think you guys understood me well enough.

I think the character development was alright, for all except Afton... To be honest, having him live in the bunker for 18 years had made him pretty stable, which almost entirely eliminated most growth from his pre world loser that could have been had. I do feel I did the side characters like Veronica, Boone, etc justice for the game though. Along with how I did the Big Mt scientists.

Some people had some issues with how this story progressed similarly to how EBW did, and I somewhat agree with their sentiments. Mc gets strong, gathers companions, enters conflicts, claims territory, and things develop from there... But, there isn't really much I could do about that without forcing something unrealistic... Afton was at odds with almost every faction aside from Mr House, meaning he'd either have to go solo, or create a faction himself... And with Big Mt at his disposal, there was only a couple ways that could end... In future, I'll have to consider this if I want the story to lead to another conclusion.

Now, for romance... I couldn't really avoid it for much longer if I'm honest. Afton was a powerful, relatively handsome guy with many women following him. He was bound to get together with one of them, thus, Josie.

I actually had a vote on my patreon to see who would end up with him, some of the options being :

Glados

Usanagi

Deathclaw and some other joke picks.

Tamia was the winner however, but I wanted Afton to be in a relationship before finally settling down... I wasn't too keen on having a 'happily ever after' feel to his relationships, so something else was needed.

The romance itself could have been better written, more importance placed on their interactions, and more time put into their eventual marriage... But, this is literally an apocalyptic wasteland, so couples would often get together relatively fast. Josie was a typical wastelander who'd grown up in harsh conditions and eventually joined the NCR army. Her prospects weren't all that great until she met Afton, so her rather abrupt actions were natural... To me at least.

Anyway, moving on. I personally liked the tech development and Afton's interaction with Glados and House. Him strong-arming the 'strong-arming-king' was very satisfying to write.

Now, as for the alien invasion... Yeah, I probably should have fore-shadowed it, far more than I did. Many comments on it assumed that those chapters were the end of the story, which made me laugh... I mean, that's akin to a dungeon master saying 'Ok, an earthquake happens, you all die.', definitely not something I'd ever intentionally do.

I'd always intended for the aliens to attack, but seeing how many of you saw it as 'out of place' and 'random', means that I failed on that aspect.

I wanted the end of the book to be tense, dramatic... Considering how powerful Afton was, the only place that tension could come from was either from space, or from some bullshit the Enclave manages to pull out of their ass... Or maybe a hidden psyker country somewhere.

Anyway, I feel that, aside from the lack of foreshadowing, the alien bits were alright.

As for the actual ending, I'm still unsure whether it was good or not. As I stated, I left it open to the possibility of a sequel. I was thinking about crossing it over with starcraft or something, but that'll have to wait in the future, as I'm not too keen on writing 'Steel Waste Two Electric-Boogaloo' anytime soon.

Anyway, this review is getting a bit wordy, so I'll cut it short here... If I didn't mention anything you guys feel I should know, please type it in the comments. These reviews are so I can get feedback on my writing and 'hopefully', improve.

I feel like Steel Waste is a far better book than EBW, so I think I've improved somewhat, but I guess that's up to you guys to decide.

Ah! Also, you guys should look out for my next book, which will be a world hopper like EBW. It'll involve skyrim, and start in an Anime that I haven't actually seen written about in Webnovel... Like, ever. So take a look and see if it suits your tastes. Here's the link : https://www.webnovel.com/book/unbound-familiar_21400494206391105

Thanks for reading!