บท 62: Endless Ache

- DOMINIK -

Black shirt, hoodie, pants, boots: my killer outfit. That's what I want to be wearing. And I want to be throwing Mark and Ivan in deep, unmarked graves. 

Instead, I'm sitting in the living room drinking, thinking about all that got me here. All the decisions I have made and all the things I have lost. Everything seems more hopeless than usual, because now I've lost the ability to remain distant and uncaring and detached.

Feeling things so acutely is a recipe for misery. Hence, the drinking. 

I'm not one to drink to get wasted. It's usually just a social necessity due to the environment and people I'm surrounded with. To not drink would raise eyebrows, and the traitor to Ivan Volkov doesn't need to be raising eyebrows for any reason, especially one as trivial as that.