บท 207: Don't You Feel Tired?

Ren didn't know how long they were sitting on the floor like this. One of his hands was wrapped securely around her waist while the other comfortingly rubbed her head. He just let her cried even though he really wanted to know how did she suddenly be in this mess

She was happy since this morning and now? She was crying as if her heart was torn apart into tiny pieces.

Even though his curiosity was gnawing inside, Ren just silently comforting her. From the day they planned to come back to this house, he understood there would be times when she finally had it enough and cry her heart out.

For now, he would just be her support.

The moon had risen to the night sky when Tsubaki finally calmed herself. She let go of her husband's shirt from her tight grasp, only her fingertips lightly touching it. Her head was still lowered as she didn't dare to look into his eyes. Tsubaki bit her lower lip, refused to cry again. She almost could taste blood in her mouth.

Ren didn't say anything. He gently pinched her chin as he lifted her head up. Tsubaki wanted to struggle from his touch but she didn't have the heart and energy to do so. In the end, she just let her looked at her face streaked with tears.

Ren silently ran his fingers on her face, lightly wiping her tears away. Tsubaki closed her eyes, her eyelashes fluttered when he brushed his lips over her eyes before they landed on her forehead. Her hands subconsciously tightened back on his shirt.

"Sorry..."

Her voice was so quiet, almost a whisper as she muttered out the words.

Ren smiled softly. He shook his head, feeling helpless because once again he had to let her go through a heartbreaking moment.

"You don't have to apologize," He replied as he ran his fingers through her hair.

"I cried again," Tsubaki was still closing her eyes, refused to look at him.

She knew she looked so pitiful right now.

Ren brought her head to his chest, he was so patient as he comforted her. Tsubaki felt terribly guilty. She vowed to keep her heart strong, to refuse from being toyed by her own emotions yet once again she surrendered to her dark thoughts.

She was tired.

"How could you be so nice to me? When... I'm like this?" Her voice was muffled over his chest. Her fingers quivered as she waited for his answer.

"Once, you said you would always be here whenever I need a shelter from the world," Ren quietly said by her ears. "And, me too, want to be the shelter for you."

"Don't you feel tired?"

Tsubaki smiled in self-mockery. She knew she shouldn't ask him questions like that, doubting his feelings for her but, she couldn't help it. Sometimes, she would feel tired of herself. If she herself felt it, how could he not be tired with her?

"Would you be tired of me?" Ren threw the question back to her.

Tsubaki immediately raised her head, her eyes were blazing with desperation as she said, "No! How could I? I..."

When she saw the smile on his face, Tsubaki realized she had fallen into his trap.

Ren stifled a laugh, he leaned down and brushed his lips over hers. He could still taste her salty tears.

"I'm here to be a safe haven for you, for you to depend on me even when you have doubts about yourself. Isn't what a married couple should be like?" Seeing her daze look, Ren laughed again. "So, you could cry whenever you need to even though I love to see your smile the most. Because I love you and I know if I was in your shoes, you'd never abandon me. Am I right?"

Tsubaki reluctantly nodded, she couldn't deny what he had said.

"Alright, sweetheart. I know you've understood me," Ren tilted his head, kissing the corner of her lips. "Do you want to tell me what happened?"

"En..."

Tsubaki turned her head around, her eyes landed on the scattered books and cards beside her. Ren reached out for a card, on a closer look it was actually a postcard. The date written on the corner was dated more than 10 years ago.

"This is..."

Tsubaki sniffed, she rubbed her nose with the hem of her sleeves. She took a book from the scattered pile and showed it to Ren.

"I found these in Mom's room," Tsubaki began speaking. "I suddenly remembered that Mom has always forbid me from entering her room, especially when I went near her bed. When I thought of it, I felt weird and went to check."

"Did you find these under the mattress?" Ren opened the book in Tsubaki's hands. It was a diary, written in neat handwriting.

Tsubaki shook her head, denying his question. "After Mom was gone, I'd always change the sheet even though there's no occupant in this room so I knew there was nothing under the mattress. I actually found these... under the bed."

When she said that, Ren just noticed that the skirting of the bed sheet was raised up and laid on the bed, revealing everything hidden under the bedframe. The floor underneath the bedframe was filled with small boxes, might be containing Tsubaki's adopted parents' belongings.

Ren squinted his eyes when he suddenly saw a hole in a square shape at one corner of the floor.

"This is..."

"I just touched around when... I felt the piece of the floor was quite loose so I tried opening it," Tsubaki sighed heavily, she gripped the hem of her husband's shirt as she added, "I didn't expect to find these."

The saying was true. Curiosity killed the cat.

Tsubaki was just wondering if she would find anything from the memory of her late Mom forbidding her from going near her bed. At that time, she scared her with the story of monsters lurking under her bed. As she grew up and was no longer scared by the tale, she had lost interest in playing inside her Mom's room.

Who knew, she would really find something.

"Are these your Mom's diaries?"

Tsubaki nodded, her eyes downcast. "She wrote about me... and I believe the postcards came from..."

Tsubaki almost choked up back on her tears. Ren swiftly brought her back into his arms, cradling her ever so gently. He knew who sent the postcards. It was too obvious. Since the postcards were sent by her biological mother, they might contain further information about the mysterious woman.

"Have you read everything, sweetheart?" Ren swept his gaze over the scattered diaries and postcards, until his eyes landed on her sullen face.

"Not everything but..." Tsubaki bit her lips. She slumped her shoulders, feeling helpless in her current situation. "I found the one when Mom wrote about... my real mother. About why... she needed to leave me..."

Ren nodded in understanding. He gathered all the diaries and postcards before placing all of them on the bed. After that, he stood up and bent down to carry his wife in his arms. Tsubaki swiftly placed her hands around his neck as she further buried her head in his chest.

"Sweetheart, do you still want to meet Aunt Touko and Uncle Kiyonaga?" Ren asked quietly. He steadily brought her out of the room, leading to her bedroom.

"Yes," Tsubaki answered quietly against his collarbones. "I want to ask questions which I know could be supported by Mom's diaries and the postcards. I don't want them to hide anything... even though it's for my sake."

"Alright. It's already 7. I'll cook you something and we'd go to them, okay?"

"Okay."

Ren could see how tired his wife was but rather than persuading her to rest and meet the Kuroki couple tomorrow, he would just support her decision.

This matter had become a thorn inside her heart. If possible, he wanted to solve it as soon as possible but he knew he couldn't act rashly.

He still needed the evidence to finally corner the one who made his wife bei in this miserable state.