บท 14: Lover
As I opened my eyes, the first sight that greeted me was the beautiful face of Anna, her red hair splayed across the pillow beside me. A smile tugged at my lips as I reached out to gently tuck a stray lock behind her ear. The gentle touch stirred her from her slumber, and her emerald eyes fluttered open, meeting mine with a soft smile.
Her delicate fingers traced the scars on my face, a silent question in her gaze. "Where have you been?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper. It was the first time we had spoken since our emotional reunion yesterday.
I sighed, my brow furrowing as I struggled to find the words. "I don't know," I admitted, my voice tinged with frustration. "I can't remember anything, only puzzles, only some parts of my memories return once in a while."
Anna closed her eyes, shaking her head with dissatisfaction written all over her face. When she opened them again, her gaze was serious, boring into mine with an intensity that made me want to look away. "What you are doing is wrong. I know it's no point arguing with you, especially when you lost your memories, but you shouldn't have agreed on working with Assassin."
Her words hit me like a punch to the gut, and I found myself at a loss for words. I searched my fragmented memories for any clue as to why I had made the choices I did, but came up empty.
"I am sure, I had my reasons," I said, but even to my own ears, the words sounded hollow.
Anna's frown deepened, her eyes flashing with anger. "That's old you talking!" she snapped. "No, there is no reason. You are ambitious and you are greedy, that's all the reason why you are doing that. You just want to reach your goal quickly, but that comes with the costs and are you ready to pay them?"
Silence fell over the room, heavy and oppressive. Something inside me wanted to confront her, to defend myself and my choices, but I had nothing to offer. My memories were too fragmented, too incomplete to provide any counterargument.
I turned my gaze back to Anna, the weight of my forgotten past hanging heavy on my shoulders. "Maybe you are right," I said, my voice barely above a whisper, the words catching in my throat like thorns, "but it's not like I can change things now. I don't remember anything about our agreement, neither about what I had already done."
Anna's expression softened, the anger in her eyes melting into something more vulnerable, a flicker of understanding crossing her features. "I know!" she said, turning her back to me, her shoulders tense. "I know..." Her voice trailed off, almost a whisper, laden with unspoken memories I couldn't access.
Guilt gnawed at my insides, twisting like a knife. It seemed that everywhere I turned since regaining consciousness, someone was saddened by the decisions of my past self. The weight of unknown sins pressed against my chest, suffocating in its intensity. I couldn't help but wonder - had I really been that bad? Or had the situation demanded such actions from me? The questions echoed in my mind, unanswered and taunting.
I leaned forward, pressing a gentle kiss to Anna's shoulder, breathing in her familiar scent. "I am sorry," I murmured, my breath warm against her skin, hoping she could feel the sincerity in my words. "I will try to fix everything."
She turned to face me again, her eyes searching mine with an intensity that made my heart ache before giving a small nod. We spent some time like that, wrapped in each other's embrace as she recounted various moments from our shared past, her voice soft and patient as she tried to help me piece together the fragments of my memories. Each story felt like looking through frosted glass - I could make out shapes and shadows, but the details remained frustratingly unclear.
Eventually, Anna's stomach growled, breaking the somber mood that had settled around us. "I'm pretty hungry," she said with a rueful smile, a hint of color touching her cheeks. "We should head downstairs."
I nodded in agreement, reluctantly untangling myself from her warmth. As she dressed, I couldn't help but admire her beauty, my gaze lingering on the curves of her body, memorizing every detail as if afraid I might forget this moment too. Once we were both clothed, we made our way downstairs, our fingers occasionally brushing as we walked.
January was already waiting for us, flirting with a girl in a maid costume, his usual calculating demeanor replaced by an easy charm. When he noticed me, a grin spread across his face, reaching his typically stoic eyes. "Well, I thought you died up there," he teased, his voice carrying across the room. "I was starting to feel guilty for bringing you here."
Anna shot him a playful glare, stepping closer to my side. "Oh, will you be a bit more understanding, please?" she retorted, her lips curving into a mischievous smile that made my pulse quicken. "I'm not sure if I should return him to you yet."
January's words pulled me out of the moment with Anna, and I glanced over at him, trying to ignore the pang of disappointment in my chest. The maid he had been flirting with quickly scurried away, seemingly eager to escape the tension that had settled over the room.
"Unfortunately, Anna, your games will have to wait," January shrugged, his expression shifting back to its usual calculated neutrality. "It was a good day off, but we need him back on his feet as soon as possible. And it's not like anyone in your family will be happy to see him here."
Anna frowned, a flicker of annoyance crossing her delicate features. In moments like this, she couldn't quite hide her upbringing as a member of a wealthy family, used to getting her way. "So pragmatic and analytical, as always," she said, gracefully settling into a chair nearby.
I followed suit, taking a seat beside her and meeting her gaze. "He's right though," I said softly, trying to convey my determination through my eyes. "I need to train and try to remember everything. I'm going to fix this, remember?"
A sad smile tugged at Anna's lips. "I know," she murmured, her voice tinged with a weariness that made my heart ache. "It's just not the first time you've said that."
January cleared his throat, drawing our attention back to him. "Please, guys, let's leave this lover's quarrel for later. We need to go, so eat up, March. We need to leave." He glanced at Anna, his expression serious. "Her father is a good man, but he dislikes guys like you and me. I wouldn't want to be on his bad side."
I nodded, understanding the gravity of the situation. As much as I wanted to stay here with Anna, to bask in the warmth of her presence and the tantalizing glimpses of our shared past, I knew that January was right. We had work to do, and lingering here would only put us all at risk.
The maid soon brought our food, setting the steaming plates before us with a polite nod. We ate in silence, the only sounds the clinking of silverware against porcelain. I could feel the tension radiating off Anna, her anger simmering just beneath the surface, but even in her frustration, she maintained an air of elegance, cutting her food into precise bites and bringing them to her lips with a delicate grace that spoke of her upbringing.
I, on the other hand, ate in a hurry, shoveling food into my mouth as if it were my last meal. The urgency of our situation weighed heavily on my mind, and I knew that every moment we lingered here was a moment we risked discovery. As I finished the last bite, I looked up at Anna, a sad smile tugging at my lips. "I have to go," I said softly, the words heavy on my tongue.
Anna sighed, setting down her fork and knife with a gentle clink. I noticed she hadn't eaten much, her plate still mostly full. "I know," she murmured, pushing back her chair and standing up. I followed suit, rising to my feet just in time for her to pull me into a tight hug, her arms wrapping around me with a fierce strength that belied her delicate frame.
"Come back next Saturday, okay?" she whispered, her breath warm against my ear. I smiled, hugging her back just as tightly, savoring the feel of her in my arms.
"Sure thing," I promised, pulling back just enough to meet her gaze. Her emerald eyes shimmered with unshed tears, and my heart clenched at the sight.
"I love you," she breathed, leaning in to press a soft kiss to my lips. I melted into the kiss, pouring all the love and longing I felt into that one moment, knowing it would have to sustain me until we could be together again.
We said our goodbyes, and then January and I slipped out the back of the house, emerging into a beautiful garden. The scent of blooming flowers filled the air, but I hardly noticed, my mind still consumed with thoughts of Anna. January led the way to a hidden passage, and we followed it to a narrow street, which led to another, and another, until we found ourselves back at the house from which we had come yesterday.
"You should protect her, really," said January, pointing his ring at the wall. "She is really something special." A portal opened, and we stepped inside. I felt a wave of nausea wash over me as we emerged on the other side, my stomach churning with guilt and regret. Leaving Anna behind felt like a physical ache, a hollow space in my chest that I couldn't quite fill.
January stretched, his joints popping with the movement. "It was a good night. I will go check on April." His words sent another pang of guilt through me. In my preoccupation with Anna, I had completely forgotten about April's injuries.
"I also wanted to see April," I said, taking a step forward, but January stopped me with a hand on my shoulder.
"Look, the best you can do for all of us is to remember how to fight," he said, his voice firm but not unkind. "Alfred said he'll be waiting for you at the training ground today."
I wanted to argue, to insist on seeing April first, but deep down, I knew January was right. In my current state, I was more of a liability than an asset. If I wanted to protect the people I cared about, I needed to regain my strength and my memories.
With a heavy sigh, I nodded, meeting January's gaze with a determined look of my own. "You're right," I admitted, the words bitter on my tongue. "I'll go find Alfred."
January clapped me on the shoulder, a small smile tugging at his lips. "Good man," he said, before turning and heading off in the direction of the infirmary.
I watched him go, my heart heavy with the weight of my responsibilities. It seemed that everywhere I turned, everyone was having an expectations towards me. The pressure was immense, but I knew I couldn't let them down.
With a deep breath, I squared my shoulders and headed out to the training ground, ready to face whatever challenges lay ahead.
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