บท 450: The Missing Person?
Xin Lan helped Jinde rearrange his robe and combed his hair again before silently withdrawing. His steps led to the courtyard where Leng Jin Yu was staring at the plum tree, obsessing over what had just happened.
Leng Jin Yu still couldn't understand how it had come to this. He had always felt himself to be a rational person, someone who wouldn't make decisions in the spur of the moment. He never could have imagined that he would have a day when he would force himself onto someone, even going so far as to bite him.
This wasn't him. Not the normal him, at least. It sounded like a bad excuse but the longer he dwelt on that notion the more likely it seemed.
From the moment he first saw him, he had felt that Jinde was somehow familiar as if he had seen him before or even known him well. When they had talked he had had these strange thoughts that didn't match with their situation at all. He was a stranger. Why should he be the one to take care of him?
And then that image. Sure, it could have been just his imagination. Maybe deep down he was actually such a base person and now that he had found someone who struck his fancy this part of him became visible. But he couldn't believe that. This image had been too clear, too detailed. Such a thing couldn't be imagined. It was more like … a memory.
Leng Jin Yu reached up and touched one of the twigs of the plum tree. He still remembered the way the white blossoms had been blown down and caught in Jinde's hair. Yes, that image of him lying there with his shoulder bared, that dazzling golden hair spread out like that, the strands wet with sweat … It made sense. Hadn't he thought about that mark? He had felt like the person who had left it was him. He had been hurt that it had vanished and wanted to leave another one.
Normally, shouldn't it have been anger at somebody else having obtained the object of his desire? Shouldn't he have wanted to leave his mark to offset the one somebody else left before? But that hadn't been the case. He had clearly thought of it as the mark he himself had left.
On the other hand, his reaction to Jinde calling out his name had been the opposite. He had been furious, furious enough to actually hurt him, because to him at that moment it had been the name of somebody else. He had clearly felt that Jinde was doing the wrong thing, that it was wrong to say that name when he was doing something like that to him. It had been a foreign name to him, not his own and he had wanted Jinde to call his name.
Leng Jin Yu frowned. So was this indeed a memory? Had he known Jinde in his previous life? Was he the person he couldn't remember? The one that should have been in that courtyard? In that case …
Leng Jin Yu wanted to return, to run back to that room and swoop Jinde up into his arms but he forced himself to remain in the courtyard. Even if he was right and this was a memory, it didn't change anything. He was a stranger to Jinde. After all, he had died and been reincarnated. He wasn't the same person any longer. The same might have been true for Jinde.
Come to think of it, his Master had referred to Jinde as a secret expert of their sect and said that the previous Sect Master's had known about him. So Jinde had already stayed at the Yun Zou Sect for a long time. Maybe it had truly been him, this same Jinde, that he had known and that was why he had had such a strong reaction. It wasn't impossible.
Leng Jin Yu frowned. If that was the case, it still left the question of why Jinde wouldn't shake him off. As a hidden expert he should be strong enough to do that and if they had indeed been in love as deeply as he imagined them to have been, then Jinde shouldn't be able to accept another man. So could it be that Jinde had recognized him despite his reincarnation?
"What did you want?"
Xin Lan's dark voice pulled him out of his thoughts. Leng Jin Yu turned around but was unable to say anything. He wanted to bring the matter with the crown prince up but his mind only flashed the memory of how he had opened the door with his clothes not properly worn. Ah, this was probably the most embarrassing moment of his life.
Xin Lan frowned. "What? Didn't you want to talk to me?" He crossed his arms in front of his chest to hinder himself from attacking him again. Heaven knew he really wanted to destroy this hypocritical face.
Leng Jin Yu took a deep breath and pushed his thoughts aside. He had to somehow right this man's impression of him and then bring up the matter with the crown prince. "I'm sorry for what happened earlier, Senior Xin. It wasn't my intention to let you see me like that."
Xin Lan's brows drew closer together and his lips tightened. He didn't care at all how he had seen this person. He did care for the fact that this man had let him see his master in such a state though. What if it hadn't been him in front of the door? Could his master's body be seen by just anybody? Even he hadn't dared to look at him when he helped him change!
Leng Jin Yu looked away. He somehow felt that he was making things even worse. Who knew was his problem actually was? Maybe he should just ask directly. "Senior Xin, could it be that there is some kind of misunderstanding between us? If so, then —"
"Get to the point. What do you want?"
Alright. It seemed whatever misunderstanding there was it was past the point of making up.
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