บท 547: He Meant a Lot to You
Seeing his lover still hesitate, Leng Jin Yu sighed. "Jinde, I certainly won't force you to tell me. But as you've said just now: We've married yesterday. Is there really something you can share with Xin Lan but not with your husband?"
Jinde smiled wryly. "There are a lot of things that could be shared with somebody else but not with one's husband."
"So is it that I have another rival?"
Jinde reached out, hoping that Leng Jin Yu would take his hand. Leng Jin Yu looked at it and finally sighed. He leaned forward and caught it between his own.
"So I'm right? And that is why you don't want to talk about it?"
"Something like that."
"Then you don't have to worry. You're beautiful. Of course, I'll have rivals. I know that. The only thing that's important is that I'm the one who married you. Everything else is just somebody else's affection. We don't have to concern ourselves with it. So will you tell me about it now?"
Jinde squeezed Leng Jin Yu's hand. "You won't get angry, will you?"
"Of course not."
"Alright, so … It might be that I've known Jin Ling for a long time." He paused and looked up at the ceiling. "Maybe … that was before he became the demon king. And maybe … that child might have liked me a little too much."
Leng Jin Yu smiled. For someone who didn't like being seen as old, Jinde sure was calling the current demon king a child often. "So he fell in love with you. That's … unexpected. Especially for a demon. Didn't you say they can't love because of Tian's curse?"
Jinde looked back at his husband and squeezed his hand. "You're too sharp, my dear. I can't keep anything from you."
"Oh? So there's more to this story?"
"Quite a bit. I guess in a sense it wouldn't be wrong to say that he doesn't actually love me. It's not like demons can't feel at all. It's just that they don't have a … healthy kind of love. What they do have is a kind of obsession. If they see something they like, they will do everything to get it. Whether that's a thing or a person …" He broke off and his brows knitted together.
All of this wasn't Jin Ling's fault. He refused to believe that the cute little darling he raised had turned into that kind of bastard. No, most likely, this had been Jian Heng's influence.
Leng Jin Yu held his lover's hands and sighed. "He meant a lot to you, hm?"
Jinde looked up at him. "If you think I reciprocated his feelings —"
"No, not that." Leng Jin Yu took a deep breath. "I can't say I understand what exactly was there between you and him. But I can see that he was important to you. You wouldn't be this hesitant if it was different. But you've also said that dragons can only love once. So why would I suspect that you felt like that for him?"
"Mn, that's also true." He sighed and shook his head. "I don't think I can explain it." Actually, it wasn't that difficult but just as he had said: Leng Jin Yu was too sharp. If he started to explain, then his lover would soon have guessed the rest or at least found something that didn't add up. No, it was still better to keep as much as he could to himself regarding this issue.
"If you really can't, then don't do it. As I said I won't force you."
"No, you were right with what you said before. We're married already. The thing is I'm a little embarrassed about this. You remember how I said the dragons and demons were one race once?"
"Yes."
"Well, you can't really tell them apart. That was also the reason why Chun Yin never noticed what was up with his wife. And I also … I just thought he was a cute dragon child that had lost its parents. And I liked children so … we spent some time together."
"Oh." Leng Jin Yu looked away. He didn't mind Jinde's relationship with the demon king but there was something that worried him a little. Jinde liked children. But while Chun Yin had had one with his wife, Jinde had never married and thus never had children. It had probably been even harder to watch Chun Yin with his new family considering that.
Jinde also stopped talking. If his husband didn't ask anything more, he would just leave it at that. Unfortunately for him, Leng Jin Yu wasn't finished yet.
"So you … raised him?"
"That … No … I don't think you can say it like that."
"Then he was a little older already? You've probably still taken care of him for quite a bit of time."
"No."
The two of them looked at each other.
Leng Jin Yu finally raised his brows. "You're being rather vehement about this."
"Well, it's not true. Definitely not."
"But you did pick him up as a child. And then he somehow fell in love with you. Just how did that happen? I feel like there is a lot missing in between."
Jinde took a deep breath. Fine. It seemed his husband wasn't so merciful as to let him get away with such a vague explanation.
Leng Jin Yu chuckled when he reacted like this. "Don't worry. It won't change anything between us. Actually, I think the one who should be sorry is Chun Yin. Having a child with somebody else when you had to stay without …" He shook his head and patted Jinde's hand. "It's rather cruel."
Jinde also lowered his head. Yes, maybe … it was cruel to have a child with somebody else. "You're right. I did pick him up as a child. I did raise him for a few years. It's just that … Jin Ling was a demon, after all. I didn't think the differences between the races were that big but … they are."
"You mean …"
"Which child would fall in love with the person that raised them?"
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