บท 59: Ain't no Party like and Advanced Attack Party
After seeing Rukia and Orihime off at school, Ohta half-expected to find Yoruichi waiting for him when he returned. Instead, he found himself with a large, luxurious hotel to himself. The members of the Onmitsukidō were given orders to stay 'out of sight, out of mind,' so unless he flared his spirit energy to signal them, Ohta's path only really crossed with Ayame.
Deciding it was a waste of time being moody, Ohta went to the pool on the first floor, choosing to swim as his daily exercise. The water was cool and invigorating, so Ohta was able to get in a good workout before taking a seat on the pool's edge and thinking about how nice it would be to relax with Rukia and, as she was likely to remain with them, Orihime at the pool during the next Summer Break.
Picturing the two girls in their swimwear, a wry smile developed across Ohta's face as he immediately imagined Rukia in a traditional, sukumizu-style school swimsuit while Orihime appeared in a bikini that could barely contain her massive breasts and ass. As much as he had come to love the petite and caring Shinigami, it didn't change his preference for curvaceous and 'malleable' women...
As the image of Yoruichi crept into his mind, Ohta concluded he had too much time to think. His words the previous night may have made it seem he was looking forward to combating Aizen and whatever other threats might appear, but they were stepping stones to obtaining what he truly desired: peace, quiet, and a good woman to share it with. If Aizen choked on a single ramen noodle and never poked his head out of Hueco Mundo's ass crack, Ohta would feel no great loss of purpose...
*beep* *beep* *beep* *beep*
Hearing his phone's alarm go off, a smile developed across Ohta's face as he Shunpo'd over to it, seamlessly transitioning from his physical form to his spiritual one in a burst of bluish-white light. His alarm only went off for two reasons, the materialization of a Hollow within 100km or an important message from the Soul Society. Either way, it should give him something to do.
'The Delegation and Advanced Attack Squad personnel will arrive at 1400 JST. On-site Point of Contact: Yamada Ohta. Contacting Representatives: Captain Suì-Fēng and Captain Hitsugaya. Attending Personnel: Lieutenant Aburai, Lieutenant Matusmoto, 3rd Seat Adjutant Ikkaku, 5th Seat Sub-Adjutant Yumichika.'
"They're early..." noted Ohta, having been informed by Yoruichi that the group would be arriving between the 5th and the 7th. The arrival of 'Suì-Fēng' was also unexpected, though, considering what they had discussed in the steam room, Ohta felt he 'should' have anticipated it.
"Whatever..." muttered Ohta, slipping his phone into his breast pocket and heading to his penthouse to get ready. It was currently 1:18 PM, 1318 JST, so he had a little over half an hour to prepare before making his way over to the coordinates listed at the end of the text. He wasn't too enthused by the idea of playing host, but since this was an official contract and he had more than enough rooms to spare, he had no reason to refuse and quite a few to accept...
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After finishing his preparations, Ohta, accompanied by Ayame, the latter wearing a men's chauffeur outfit, made his way over to the shrine denoted by the coordinates, the same location his group had emerged during their return trip from the Soul Society.
At precisely 1400 JST, a circular set of bamboo doors materialized a few meters away from Ohta, parting to reveal a blindingly white light that made it difficult to make out more than the silhouettes of the individuals standing within. Fortunately, as they promptly emerged, Ohta got to see each of them clearly, starting with an angry-looking, Chihuahua-like girl who frowned the moment she saw him.
Emerging behind Soifon, notably shorter than even the characteristically petite woman, was a young-looking boy with short, spiked, silvery-white hair, piercing blues eyes, and a Zanpakuto that almost appeared too long for his tiny body strapped to his back. He also wore a sleeveless Captain's Haori, but even without it, Ohta would have recognized him as Hitsugaya Toshiro, the youngest Captain in the history of the Gotei at the tender age of 88.
Seeing who emerged from the Seinkaimon behind Toshiro's, Ohta's pupils dilated instinctively as the voluptuous, playfully flirtatious blonde with the ashen Zanpaktuo poked her head out, immediately followed by a crimson-haired asshole with facial tats and two people Ohta didn't recognize. The first was a 'remarkably' bald man with tanned skin and red markings near the corners of his eyes, while the second was a man with neatly trimmed black hair framing his arrogant-looking face, embellished with a weird feather decoration on at the corner of his right eye and interior of his right brow.
Being the most sociable among the group, the buxom blonde, Matsumoto Rangiku, reacted with feigned surprise upon seeing Ohta, raising her right and waving as she mused, "We meet again, handsome~" in a playful tone, a naturally seductive look adorning her face.
Seemingly offended by Rangiku's words, Soifon scowled and said, "You forget yourself, Lieutenant Matsumoto. Do not disgrace the Soul Society with your shameless actions."
Causing Soifon's right eye to twitch, Ohta said, "Calm down, kitten. She was just being nice. Also, welcome to the human world. Looks like I'll be your liaison/host this time around. Just one word of advice before we set out and get you situated. Don't fuck up your rooms unless you want to be sent back to Soul Society with your Zanpakuto sheathed in your ass."
"Oh, I like this guy," said the bald man, Madarame Ikkaku, grinning like a mad dog as he sized Ohta up with the eye of a challenger.
Responding to Ohta's 'greeting,' Toshiro bowed his head slightly, eyes closed as he said, "Thank you for allowing us to stay in your hotel during our hopefully brief stint in the Human World, Yamada-dono. My name is Hitsugaya Toshiro, presiding Captain of the 10th Division. For the duration of this mission, I am also the Commander of the Advance Attack Squad..."
Impressed by Toshiro's manners, even though the 'young' boy was older than his combined ages, Ohta, standing with his arms crossed, gave an approving nod, saying, "Good to meet you, Pintsized." before shifting his gaze to Soifon and asking, "What about you? What brings you here, bee girl?"
While Rangiku was covering her mouth and holding her gut to avoid laughing aloud, Soifon frowned deeply, asserting, "It's classified. I will inform you once we're in a private location."
("So long as you didn't just come here to fuck...") thought Ohta, turning his gaze to Renji, raising his right brow as he questioned, "We going to have a problem, lightning brows...?" referencing the man's bolt-shaped eyebrows.
Clicking his tongue, Renji crossed his arms and looked away, refusing to dignify Ohta's words with a response. Luckily for him, Ohta didn't give a shit, half-turning and thumbing in the direction of the shrine's entrance gate as he said, "Enough chattering. Let's get this dog and pony show on the road."
Nodding his head, the serious-looking Toshiro took the initiative to follow close behind Ohta, prompting Soifon and the others to do the same. This included Rangiku, but instead of lingering in the back and following in her Captain's wake, she caught up to Ohta, asking, "So, what's it like being a Hero? Did the Princess give you plenty of rewards~?" with a mischievous smile on her face.
"Don't tempt me..." warned Ohta, more for his own sake than Rangiku's. She was a remarkably alluring woman and, in some ways, even more his type than Yoruichi. If Anpu thought he was 'holding himself back,' the temperamental hound would invariably get moody and deny him access to his Zanpakuto...
("Don't tempt me...") parroted Anpu, his voice echoing within Ohta's mind. He had mellowed a bit after revealing his name, but he was still a massive pain in the ass, at least from Ohta's perspective. Zanpakuto Spirits were a more 'primal' reflection of their users, so Anpu had far fewer 'reservations' than Ohta, at least when it came to women and doing as he pleased.
Undaunted by Ohta's warning, Rangiku narrowed her eyes and teased, "If you say things like that, it'll only make me want to tease you more. You're exactly my type, you know? Handsome, young, powerful, and willing to do whatever it takes to protect your woman. I envy Kuchiki-chan..."
Believing Rangiku was a classic femme fatale, potentially even given the mission of trying to seduce him, Ohta made a show of rolling his eyes as he said, "I'm also 'taken.' If you can't respect that, don't expect even a lick from me..."
Though he meant a lick of respect, an idiom denoting a very small amount of something, Ohta failed to account for the fact that Rangiku spent most of her time in Soul Society. Even Rukia needed to study modern language to communicate without sounding like she was someone's granddaughter from a small village in the mountains. Rangiku had no understanding of modern idioms, so when she heard Ohta's words, she appeared genuinely surprised as she remarked, "Oh, my! Has Japan developed the custom of licking people as a greeting? How salacious~."
Borrowing a page from Renji's book, Ohta decided not to dignify Rangiku's words with a response. Unfortunately, unlike him, who didn't care about being ignored, Rangiku was similar to Yoruichi. The more she was ignored by someone, the more she wanted that person's attention...
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With Orihime choosing to visit Tatsuki, Ohta and Rukia finally had some time to themselves, relaxing in the bath together as he recounted what had transpired earlier in the day.
Even without Ohta mentioning her by name, Rukia remarked, "That sounds like Matsumoto Rangiku of Squad 10. There are countless rumors about her being a serial man-chaser, but curiously enough, I've never heard of a single man testifying to having slept with her. Some speculate she's in an illicit relationship with her Captain, but I doubt it. Captain Hitsugaya might appear immature, but he's a very serious and dutiful young boy."
"Young...?" questioned Ohta. "Isn't he like a hundred and some change...?"
"That has to do with how non-native souls age," replied Rukia. "Similar to myself, Captain Hitsugaya was a human who died at a very young age. He might be over a hundred years old, but his brain and body were stunted in their developmental period. That allows him to absorb knowledge quickly, but knowledge doesn't equate to maturity. As far as I'm aware, he hasn't even started puberty yet."
"That...reeeally fucking sucks..." whispered Ohta. However, it also got him thinking about something...worrisome. Before he could consider asking, however, Rukia looked up at him with narrowed eyes and asserted, "I am a proper adult, even by modern standards..."
"I wasn't going to say anything..." claimed Ohta, prompting Rukia to roll her eyes before reclining against his chest and whispering, "If anything, you should be relieved. It's highly unlikely, but there's a chance I could become one of the shapely beauties you're so fond of..."
As he knew she wasn't truly angry, Ohta didn't try to convince Rukia she was fine just the way she was. He had done that plentily in the past, so all he had to do was kiss her crown and caress her belly to return her smile...
Shattering the pleasant atmosphere that was building, Rukia smacked Ohta over the head with a metaphorical brick as she stated, "If you have the opportunity to do so, do not hesitate to accumulate some 'experience' with Lieutenant Matsumoto. I'm interested to learn if the rumors about her are true, and I 'know' she's your type. Just tell me how things go after the fact so I can determine whether I should 'warn' her like Orihime."
"You're really killing the vibe..." remarked Ohta, his expression and tone as unmotivated as his previously hardening dick.
"Eh, we can't have sex 'every' day," contended Rukia. "In fact, I should be using this time to train or go on patrol. Summer Break is over, and I have a job to do..."
As Rukia was usually the one attacking him, Ohta asked, "You're not just saying that to make me feel less guilty about sleeping with other women, right...?"
"Even if I am, it doesn't change the facts," asserted Rukia. "I 'do' need to train, and you 'should' get to have fun and make mistakes. Because once we get married, it will probably just be me, you, Orihime as my attendant, and Yoruichi-sama as your patron and periodic resonance partner..."
Staring up at Ohta, Rukia's expression was deadly serious as she said, "You're an attractive and truly remarkable young man, Ohta. You could have had any woman, yet you chose to love me. Before we finalize things with marriage, I'd like you to gain experience with at least ten women. If you restrain yourself now, it might not encumber our marriage short-term, but it will ten, twenty, or a hundred years down the line..."
Though he shook his head and exhaled a sigh, Ohta didn't try to argue with Rukia. She had considerably more life experience than him, and he couldn't deny that he had innumerable prospects due to his appearance and the fact he was one of the most powerful beings in the three realms at sixteen. A hundred years from now, he might very well be the Captain Commander of the Gotei 13...
Placing a heavy burden on Ohta, Rukia's expression and tone softened as she said, "Do it for me..." pleadingly. Ohta would have readily accepted if she asked him to do just about anything else, even throwing himself into the heat of Yamamoto's flames. However, as she was asking him to sleep with at least seven other women, he had an almost overwhelming urge to sink beneath the water and stay there...
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(A/N: Rukia has the best of intentions, but damn...also, daily reminder that this is not a harem novel.)
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