บท 425: 9
Now I Have Hope.
Hermione found sleep to be terribly elusive that night. Partially because, while she didn't snore, Tonks did giggle and mumble rather suggestively in her sleep. At first it had been amusing, but then Tonks started getting really vocal about what she wanted her dream lover to do to her. Hermione didn't consider herself to be a prude, but some of the things that Tonks mumbled made Hermione blush down to the tips of her toes.
But it wasn't just Tonks' weird sex dreams that were keeping Hermione awake. She was in a strange place, with people she was unfamiliar with who had given her much to think about.
Sirius and Remus were nice enough, and Tonks was really very funny. Yet Hermione was still unclear as to why she was here. No one had really answered that question to her liking, and she had also noticed strange looks shared between the three of them when she had asked. The only thing they would really say is that Harry had wanted her to be there.
Somewhere around three am, Hermione became very fed up with whatever Tonks was dreaming about and decided that a glass of water was in order. She threw off her blankets and tiptoed out of her room and down the stairs. She was wearing loose fitting pajama bottoms that Tonks had loaned her and a black t-shirt that smell very familiar to her, though she couldn't quite place it.
When she got to the kitchen she was given a bit of a start when she found Sirius Black sitting at the table slowly pushing an empty glass back and forth between his hands. He looked up at Hermione's surprised gasp and gave her a weak smile.
"I'm sorry." She stammered. "I-I didn't know anyone was awake."
"I'm guessing Tonks is having another one of her more vocal dreams?" He said, waving to the empty seat across from him.
"Actually I was thirsty, but yeah… it must be a good one." Hermione replied as she took the offered seat. There was a handful of candles lit, but it wasn't as bright as it had been when she first arrived earlier that night.
"Remus, Sven, or Jean-Claude?' Sirius asked as he got to his feet. He took two clean mugs and poured himself a cup of tea, and one for Hermione as well. Hermione gave him a puzzled look. "Those are the three men she dreams about that makes her really vocal while she's sleeping."
"Oh, uh… Remus, I think." Hermione replied as Sirius handed her a cup and retook his seat. The black haired man snorted again a sipped his cup before setting it back down and getting a far away look in his eye.
"Are you alright?" Hermione asked. "You look… anxious."
"You're not the only one having difficulty sleeping." Sirius sighed, sipping his tea. "I never sleep when Harry's out on a mission. I wanted to go with him, but we have to rotate so he doesn't get used to working with only one person. We want him to be adaptable, and be able to work alongside a variety of people."
Sirius turned and stared out the window for a moment. Hermione felt a wave of sympathy for the man.
"Has he gone on many of these types of things?" Hermione asked.
"This is his fifth." Sirius said looking pensive. "We allowed him to go to Albania with some of us a few months before Voldemort tried to take the Ministry. It was nothing, but he was growing restless. He knew Voldemort had risen, and he knew what we'd been training him for. So… we let him come on this one mission, hoping it would calm him down."
"It didn't work, did it?" Hermione asked, knowing the answer already. Sirius snickered as he shook his head.
"We tried to leave him behind, but… he knew where we were going. He flooed there after we had all gone. After what he did, and how he handled everything, we knew we couldn't keep him from going out anymore. Not unless we distracted him so to speak."
Hermione gave a faint smile as she caught on to what Sirius was saying. They had sent him to school to keep him out of the war. They were still trying to protect him.
"You really care about him, don't you?" Hermione said softly.
"Of course I do." Sirius said a bit too harshly. Hermione gave a bit of a jump and Sirius grimaced. "Sorry. It's… He's my godson. As good as my own flesh and blood. I've even named him as my heir; though… don't tell him that."
Hermione nodded and smiled in reply to Sirius' request. He leaned forward and observed the girl before him. She looked deeply nervous.
"Do you care for Harry? I mean… really care for him?" He asked her as gently as he could.
Hermione had no answer for this. She wanted to say something but she couldn't get her mouth to form any words at all. She just kept opening and closing her mouth and looking anywhere but at Sirius.
"I know that it's personal, and none of my business, but… well to be honest, It's important." Sirius continued.
"Why?" Hermione asked.
"That's a bit complicated." Sirius replied. "But it's the major reason why we decided he needed to go to Hogwarts."
"But, you just said that you sent him there to keep him away from the war." Hermione pointed out.
"That was part of it, but not the only reason." Sirius nodded. "It's important for Harry to learn why he's fighting, to forge friendships, and… to find love."
"Love?" Hermione was now incredibly confused.
"I shouldn't be telling you any of this, but… There's more to Harry's story than most people know. Voldemort didn't just attack Harry and his family that night, nor was he just trying to take over the Ministry. Those two events are tied together."
"What do you mean?" Hermione looked truly intrigued.
Sirius shook his head.
"I can't tell you." He said finally. "Not because I don't trust you, or that you don't deserve to know. Harry doesn't even know. Only three people know why Voldemort went after Harry."
"Wait… I thought… The books said that he went after Harry's parents." Hermione looked stricken.
Sirius said nothing more, leaving Hermione with a thousand more questions. Sirius was not going to tell her anymore, but she knew that he wanted to. That he'd been carrying a heavy burden that he wished someone would take off his shoulder.
"You know, I saw how he looked at you that day in Hogsmeade, and I've listened to him talk about you these past few days. He doesn't know what he's feeling, at least, he can't define it, but I know. I saw the same look on his father's face so many times. Potter men… they have this bizarre gift in finding their perfect match. Some would call it finding their soul mate…"
"Professor McGonagall mentioned something about that to me yesterday." Hermione said. "His father was in love with his mother from the day they met."
"Yeah, he was." Sirius chuckled. "Remus and I tried to get him to go out with other birds, but it was Lily and only Lily. We were sure he'd end up alone, but… early in our seventh year… they began dating. The day they married… I had never seen James as happy as he was when Lily said I do. Until Harry was born, anyway."
Hermione smiled at the idea of baby Harry.
"For just over a year, despite everything they were happy. Picture perfect. I was jealous of James, and had vowed to find someone for myself. Got pretty close but then…" Sirius fell silent, and his eyes drifted to the window where the snow fall had lightened. Hermione felt as if a heavy blanket of sadness had fallen on them.
"Did… Did she die?" Hermione asked tentatively.
Sirius nodded. "Days before James and Lily died. Cassie was killed in Diagon Alley, while she was getting things for a romantic dinner between us. I found out about it from someone I worked with. It was one of the worst days of my life, and it was followed by the absolute worst day."
"I'm sorry." Hermione said and Sirius waved it off.
"It's in the past, and I can't change it. No one can. We can only learn from it and move forward." Sirius turned back to Hermione.
They fell silent for a few minutes until Hermione's need for answers pushed her to ask. "Why does Harry need to learn about love?"
Sirius smirked and then rubbed his face while taking a long deep breath.
"You know that magic is based on intent, right?" Sirius asked. Hermione nodded and Sirius smiled.
"Did you know that is also powered from emotion?"
Hermione looked a bit puzzled.
"When we're young, we all have bouts of accidental magic, and it always happens when we're emotionally stimulated. Or rather… when we're frustrated, or angry, or scared. With me so far?"
Hermione nodded in the affirmative and Sirius sat up a bit as he continued.
"When you go to school, you learn how to control the magic, to focus it. You learn about the intent. But what they don't teach you is how to make spells more powerful, unless it's the key to the spell, like a Patronus charm."
"You're saying that my spells could be far more powerful if I'm more emotional?" Hermione asked looking perplexed.
"If you know how to focus it. We knew very early how powerful Harry could be. Remus and I got to see Harry's first bout of accidental magic…"
"When he blew all the windows out of the house?" Hermione smirked remembering the story, but Sirius shook his head.
"That wasn't the first. In fact… Harry had a ton of incidents before that.
"What?"
"His first incident happened when he was around thirteen months old. He summoned the cat. Lily told me that he had done it before. He loved that cat, Hermione. And that cat loved him. On top of that… he was showing control. At thirteen months, he was showing control over his magic." Sirius said proudly.
"Unbelievable."
"No kidding." Sirius nodded. "In the following years, we noticed that when he's angry, or frustrated, his magic doesn't quite have the power it does as when say…"
"I can't tell you much, because it needs to remain secret, even from Harry, but suffice to say that Harry's gains more power from his emotions."
"He's happy." Hermione finished.
"Exactly." Sirius nodded. "It was a theory Dumbledore had when Harry was younger, and had his bouts of accidental magic. We've worked hard to teach him to keep himself in check, so his head is clear during a fight, but… the more emotion he feels; the more it affects his magic"
"He told me he wrecked a house once when he was tired." Hermione mentioned.
"True. Every window was blown out when he was angry and tired. But it was nothing to the damage he caused a few weeks later. We were running him pretty hard, and decided to give him a day off if he could take out all of the training dummies in less than five minutes. He did it before we even started. The dummies were destroyed, as was the entire obstacle course, because he was so happy to have some time to rest. We obliviated that memory from him."
"Why would you do that?" Hermione asked.
"We felt it was best. Remember, we were trying to teach him to keep control over his emotions."
"So, you think if Harry falls in love he'll become more powerful somehow?" Hermione wondered.
"Not necessarily more powerful." Sirius said leaning forward a bit. "Just… more formidable. If Harry is as much like his father as we think, when he falls in love, really falls in love, he will be irritatingly happy all the time. If he was to fight someone being that happy, and with the way his emotions affect his spell work… Voldemort won't stand a chance. At least that's the theory."
"Do you believe that?" Hermione asked, looking at Sirius hard. The man could only shrug.
"I want to." Sirius sighed. "But what's more important to me is I want Harry to have something in his life more than this. I want him to find something special in his life. Someone special. He's fond of you, that much is clear. We've been told that you two have been a bit inseparable all year, so… we all kind of got our hopes up. We were a bit disappointed when we met you and found out it wasn't a date."
"It was." Hermione whispered rather embarrassed.
"Excuse me?"
Hermione sighed and brushed some of her hair from her face.
"We had a bit of a miscommunication. It turns out that it was a date. It… it was my first date actually." She looked away from Sirius who was smiling lightly now. She felt as if she could cook roast chicken on her face with how hot she felt from her embarrassment at the moment.
"Don't be embarrassed, it was his as well." Sirius said laughingly.
"He's… It's all really confusing." Hermione grimaced and stared at her tea cup. "I'm not used to anyone paying attention to me. Well, not in a positive way anyway."
"It's been mentioned." Sirius nodded.
"By who?" Hermione looked up, a bit irritated. "How do you people know so much about me?"
"Professor Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall. Dumbledore's kept us up to date with everything going on with Harry, and when he began hanging around you, we wanted to know more about you, just in case…"
"In case I wasn't worthy of him or might be a danger to him?" Hermione asked. Sirius shook his head.
"Partially. We're still not sure which Death Eater spawn are loyal to Voldemort, and which are at the least neutral to our cause. But also we were concerned that you might be put in harms way because of your friendship with him. "Sirius replied. "Both Dumbledore and McGonagall seem confident that you could handle yourself should something come up."
Hermione's indigence faded after that, and she had to smile a bit at her favorite teacher's confidence in her. She let out a long breath and stared at her tea, which was getting cold quickly.
"I can't figure him out." Hermione admitted
"He was trained well." Sirius chuckled.
"My friend Lavender is convinced he likes me in a romantic way, but honestly, I don't see it."
"Minerva did mention you had a bit of an inferiority complex." Sirius remarked, earning a slight glare from Hermione.
Hermione looked at him with confusion. He simply smiled and leaned forward.
"He's very confused right now, and not a little scared, Hermione. Harry's never been around people his own age. He's having a lot of trouble with what he's feeling because he doesn't know what it is." Sirius said evenly as he leaned in a bit.
"Hermione, I don't know you, but I have seen your face tonight. Every time we've spoken of Harry, your eyes get distant, soft. I remember seeing that look on Harry's mother's face. I saw it on my Cassie's face. If I'm wrong, than I'm sorry, but if I'm right, don't fight it. Allow it to happen, for both of your sakes." Sirius said with a pointed look.
Hermione couldn't help but smile at the thought of falling in love. She had given up on the idea thanks in large part to the people who surrounded her and went out of their way to make her feel worthless. But ever since she met Harry… her world was changing, and she wasn't really sure how she felt about it, but she was sure that she was curious to see what happened next.
"You should try and get some sleep." Sirius smiled. "If Tonks is still having one of her dreams, just silence her. She won't even notice until after she gets her coffee."
Hermione thanked Sirius and he thanked her in return. She headed back to her room and found Tonks to be thankfully quiet now, which allowed her to fall asleep fairly quickly.
"THEY'RE BACK!"
That shout reverberated throughout the house like thunder and startled Hermione awake. She fell off her bed and got tangled in her blankets. She managed to find her way out of her Devil's snare like trap and get to her feet. She heard Tonks downstairs, and Sirius opening the door. Hermione brushed the bird's nest of hair out of her face and quickly made for the stairs, where she very nearly knocked over Remus, who was coming out of the bathroom. She was met at the bottom of the stairs by Tonks, who gave her a warning look which made Hermione stop cold. Tonks turned around just as three men entered the house.
The first man was blindfolded and gagged, with his hands tied behind his back. He was being roughly shoved by a really scary looking man with angry looking scars on his face and a serious chunk missing from his nose. His long graying sand colored hair was course and grizzled, and he looked as if he needed a good shave. He had one rather beady brown eye and a large electric blue eye that was clearly a replacement appendage. It was moving independently and looking all around, even out the back of his head. Hermione wanted to gag when she saw that.
He wore a knee length dragon hide leather jacket that looked as if it had seen better days. He was leaning heavily on a gnarled walking stick as his left leg was also a replacement appendage, which probably should have been worked on a bit more before given to the man. The foot looked like a broken animal foot carving, and thudded loudly with every step he took.
Following this man was Harry, looking a bit tired, and quite irritable. Hermione wondered if his mission had gone badly.
"Did you have much trouble?" Sirius asked from across where Hermione currently stood.
"With this brainless arse? HA!" The scarred man said with a very gruff gravely voice. "Ha!"
"Who is it?"" Remus asked. Hermione gave a little start, having forgotten he was behind her, despite his hand on her shoulder.
"Didn't catch his name, but it isn't one of the ones we really wanted." The grizzled man quipped. "But, every bit of information helps, right lad?"
Harry gave a curt nod and the scarred man gave a resounding "HA!"
"Take him downstairs." Sirius ordered. "I'll contact Doge, and have him send a group to fetch him. They can interrogate him and then hand him over to the Ministry."
Remus stepped from behind Hermione and helped the scarred man with their captive. Harry started to go as well when Sirius held him back.
"Not you kid. You have a guest."
Hermione felt herself flush when Sirius pointed to her, and Harry turned to see her. His irritation faded away instantly, replaced by a bit of confusion at her appearance.
"Hermione? When did you get here?" He asked looking stunned.
"Last night." She said as she approached him. Tonks had let her go and was smiling rather suggestively at the two of them though they were ignorant of it. Sirius cleared his throat and gave her a pointed look and nodded towards the kitchen. Tonks' smile fell and she grumpily followed him into the kitchen.
"Sorry I wasn't here." Harry nodded.
"Don't worry; I had people to keep me company. I wish you would have told me you were leaving the school. I was… well, I was worried about you." Hermione said, taking a step closer to him. Harry looked at her, clearly trying to figure something out before he nodded.
"I'll remember that for next time." He said. Hermione gave him a smile, and before she knew it, she had hugged him. He stiffened at first, but then she felt him relax a bit, and his left hand even came up and rested tentatively on her hip. That was when she realized she was still in her pajamas. She also realized why the t-shirt she had worn all night smelled so familiar. It was his.
"I should maybe get changed." She said when she let him go, fighting a blush. She turned around and stopped when her foot hit the first step. "Except, I don't really have anything to change into."
"Got you covered!" Tonks said, appearing from around the corner. Hermione guessed the crimson haired woman must have been spying on them and she felt really embarrassed. Fortunately Tonks shot past her up the stairs, and Hermione decided it would be best to get the hell out of there.
Tonks loaned her a pair of jeans which were artistically ripped, and a shirt that refused to remain on both shoulders. Hermione felt horribly uncomfortable, but the woman promised they would go into town and get her a few things that afternoon. They headed back to the kitchen where Harry was informing Sirius about what had taken place on his mission.
"… Meeting took place. We saw Rookwood and Avery there."
"How many?" Sirius asked turning sausages in the frying pan he was working with.
"Ten that I am sure of. Most used the floo to leave. I thought we were going to lose them all, so I signaled Mad-Eye when the meeting broke up. He put up the anti-Apparition wards, and we entered from the back door. Mad-Eye decided to forego stealth on this one, though I feel that was a mistake, we could have taken one or two more. When it was over, three were dead. All by Mad-Eye's wand."
"And you?" Sirius quirked an eyebrow.
"It was supposed to be a live capture. No one I faced called for lethal force. In fact, Mad-Eye did his best to keep me out of the fray. It was really irritating."
"Yes, but you know why." Sirius said in the same tone Harry always used.
"Yes, and it's that reason that makes me wonder why I was even called in for this." Harry said a bit irritably. "You could have done this without me easily. I thought that was the point of sending me to Hogwarts after all, so I wouldn't be going into battle, remembers?"
Sirius seemed to ignore Harry's outburst, if it could be called that, for the moment, and pressed on.
"What's the story with that one?" he nodded towards where Remus and the other man had taken their captive.
"I think he thought he'd make a run and get outside the ward. I think he realized we'd cast anti-Apparition wards quickly, and headed out the front. Moody was still dealing with the last of the fighters, so I took off after the runner.
Sirius shook his head and glared at Harry. "How far did you let him get before you stunned him?"
Harry didn't reply and Sirius rolled his eyes.
"You were hoping he'd turn and fight." Sirius said with a heavy sigh. "Harry, you don't need to prove yourself to us, we know how good you are. We've told you over and over again to end any conflict quickly. If you don't you run the risk of your enemy getting away and regrouping. Every one that gets by is another life on our heads. Incapacitate by any means, and move on. Are we clear?"
Harry gave a nod and Sirius glared at him for a minute longer. "Anything else I need to know about?"
"Pettigrew was there." Harry said flatly.
Hermione jumped when Sirius dropped the pan he was removing from the stove. Harry didn't seem bothered by this, but Hermione thought Sirius might very well pass out. He was turning purple with barely contained rage, and Hermione thought she recognized the name, but couldn't remember why at the moment.
"You saw him?" Sirius hissed. Harry nodded.
"Silver hand and all. He was the first to use the floo when the meting was finished." Harry remarked.
"He would never tell us anything. His fear of Voldemort is far greater than his fear of us." Sirius said. He finally noticed he'd dropped all the sausages on the floor and with a wave of his wand, banished them to the rubbish bin. "But what I wouldn't give to wrap my hands around his little neck."
"It's not so little." Harry shook his head. "It looks as if he's been well cared for. "
"Rewarded for all he did to get the Diggory boy to that graveyard two years ago, no doubt."
Hermione remembered how Cedric Diggory had disappeared at the end of the Tri-Wizard Tournament two years ago, and how it was later reported his body had been found in a graveyard in Little Hangelton. Hermione then realized where she had heard the name Pettigrew, or rather read about it. Peter Pettigrew had been the Potter's Secret Keeper, and the one who'd led the Dark Lord to where they had been in hiding.
Hermione looked up when she heard someone clear their throat, and saw Sirius looking at her pointedly. He smiled at her and nodded to the table where Harry was sitting.
"Breakfast will be ready in a moment or two. I see Tonks loaned you some things."
Hermione looked at her jeans and tried in vain to get her shirt to remain on her shoulders. "Uh yeah. She said we'd get me something more appropriate later today."
"A good idea." Sirius nodded. "You and Harry can go into Whitby this afternoon, perhaps go see a movie or something."
Hermione sat across from Harry who looked at Sirius with bewilderment. Before she could say anything, Remus entered followed by the scary looking man who Harry had arrived with. He sat down heavily next to Hermione and grumbled to himself.
"Hermione, this is Alastor Moody." Sirius said. "Alastor, Miss Hermione Granger."
"Ah, so this is the young woman that's got pretty boy's knickers all twisted." Moody snorted and gave Hermione a rather twisted smiled, that made her shiver. "A pleasure to meet you lass." He said as he sat down heavily and turned to Harry. "You give him you're report?"
Harry nodded.
"You tell him about the rat?"
Again Harry nodded.
Moody harrumphed and grabbed several pieces of toast and brought them to his nose which appeared to have a rather large chunk missing out of it and sniffed at it. He set them down and pulled a flask from his coat and took a large swallow before tearing into his toast like a starving animal.
"Got any sausages over there Black?" he said with that gravely voice.
"Working on it Mad-Eye, keep your pants on." Sirius rolled his eyes. Hermione noted Remus was leaning against the counter next to Sirius, reading the paper.
"So Missy, how'd old blue eyes get you to come out to the sticks to us? Way I heard it; you'd sooner kill yourself than give up a minute of time in that library." Moody said over a mouthful of dry toast.
Hermione just sat there for a minute before she found her voice.
"Uh, I… He told me Harry wanted to see me." was all she could say in reply. Moody was leering at her, and she felt really nervous under his gaze.
"They tell us you're pretty talented. Brains not to be believed." Moody remarked. "I'd be interested to see how good you are with your wand. If you're going to be running around with hothead over here, you need to be able to handle yourself in a tussle."
"I'm not the one who blasted to door off the hinges this morning." Harry said as he sipped at what appeared to be blended algae. Moody snorted and continued tearing his toast to shreds and stuffing it into his mouth and chewing loudly.
Hermione gave Harry a baffled look aimed at his glass, and he offered her a taste. She took one sniff of it and handed it back, wrinkling her nose in disgust. Harry gave her a look that said he agreed with her assessment.
"So lover boy beckons and you come a running, eh?'
"Oh for Merlin's sake Mad-Eye." Sirius growled. "There's no need to frighten the girl, or disgust her. I think Tonks did enough of that last night as it is."
"Oh, did I miss another one of Nympho's shag dreams?" Moody turned in his seat to look at Sirius. "Who was it this time?"
Hermione noted Remus pull the paper up a bit to hide his face more. Sirius just nodded to the other man and Moody cackled and slapped his good leg.
"Ah Wolf, when are you going to give into your baser needs and take that woman already. She's practically begging you for it. It won't be too long she sets her sights on the boy for real. And we all know the boy hasn't got a clue about what goes where, and she isn't likely to go easy on him."
Sirius snorted and Harry looked rather confused. Hermione felt scandalized by all this talk, but said nothing, and instead focused on eating her eggs.
"Oh I'm sure Harry would perform more than adequately, plus he's got that teenager stamina to help him out." Tonks sing songed as she appeared in the kitchen. She walked around and placed both her hands on Harry's shoulder, grinning as he froze up as he always did when she touched him. "And I would totally go easy on him. Well, the first few times at least. Wouldn't want to break my new toy before I broke him in."
Hermione began to choke and cough on her eggs when she caught sight of the truly flustered and frightened look on Harry's face. He could only stare at Tonks as she circled around the table and sat down next to Hermione. Hermione swore that Harry was fighting a blush, but she couldn't be sure as he bent low over his plate and began to shovel food into his mouth.
"So he is human." She thought to herself with a bit of a smile.
"I think that's enough." Remus said, trying to put a stop to it all. "I don't think Hermione really wishes to hear you all talk like uncultured degenerates."
"But we are." Tonks and Moody said at the same time before breaking into a cacophony of laughter. Harry merely shook his head and finished his breakfast. Hermione could only watch in silence. This wasn't really what she had imagined when she thought about Harry's upbringing.
After breakfast, Remus and Tonks took Harry and Hermione outside. There was a fresh blanket of snow on the ground, and Hermione shivered against the cold until Remus handed her a heavy cloak which she wrapped around herself as tightly as she could. At the same time, Harry shed his own cloak and started stretching a bit.
She only had to wonder why for a few seconds as Harry began to run a rather intense looking obstacle course with Tonks and Remus doing all they could to prevent him from finishing. Hermione was very impressed as she watched Harry show off his agility, his stamina, and his focus. Tonks and Remus had a hard time hitting him with any of the spells they were casting, and Hermione was certain they weren't going easy on him.
"I was sure he'd be slower.' Sirius grumbled. "Nearly three months in school, I thought his reaction time would be off or that he'd become complacent… But, Dumbledore said he's kept up on his exercise…"
"This all seems so… brutal." Hermione said with disdain.
"It has to be. Death Eaters won't go easy on him, so we can't either. It's all about keeping him alive." Sirius said evenly.
"You could have given him time to be a kid occasionally." Hermione said sourly. "He deserved that."
"That and so much more." Sirius replied. "We all did. Remus and Tonks deserve to be able to figure out their relationship like normal people. I deserved to marry Cassie. James and Lily deserved to raise their child as they saw fit. And Harry… Harry sacrificed more than anyone, and so he deserves more than anyone. That's why we trained him, and prepared him for what lies ahead. When it's over, He'll get the life he deserves, even if it takes everything I have to give it to him."
"But shouldn't he have had some of that life before now? Friends? The ability to play and just have fun? As his godfather, it was your responsibility to protect him and give him all the love and happiness you could and more." Hermione countered. Sirius nodded.
Sirius rounded on her, his eyes hard and cold. "Don't you dare try and lecture me about what my responsibility to that boy was."
Hermione flinched, and the hardness in Sirius' eyes faded. "I'm sorry. When it comes to Harry… "
"It's ok. Hermione said quickly. "I get it."
"You're right." Sirius sighed, turning back to watch Harry's progress. "He does deserve a real life, free of violence and secret missions and being kept from the world. However… we felt it was in his best interest to prepare. Unfortunately we lost sight of what was truly important. His happiness. "
The two fell silent as they watched Harry run along a wooden beam about six feet above the ground as Tonks ran under him trying to land a tripping jinx on him.
"One day… one day we'll all have to answer for what we did to him in the name of protecting him. When that day comes, I pray that Harry will understand that we never meant to repress him, or deny him what should rightfully have been his."
Remus, Tonks and Harry were approaching them now, and Sirius perked up. "How'd he do?"
Remus and Tonks looked quite winded, and Harry was even breathing hard. His normally tousled hair was damp with sweat, and he looked rather content at the moment.
"Surprisingly faster than before he went to school." Remus sighed, panting heavily and leaning on Tonks, who was grinning.
"Really?" Sirius looked puzzled. "From here it looked as if he were slower."
"Well, you likely came out on his second lap and thought it was only his first. Also, it was just two of us, and Tonks didn't flash him this time." Remus smirked.
"Because it's bloody cold out here. I could cut with my nipples." Tonks snapped, holding her arms around herself.
"OI!" Sirius grimaced. Hermione saw Harry glance at Tonks chest again looking slightly befuddled. He then turned to look at her with a small smile on his normally stoic face.
"Would you care to try?" He turned to Hermione. She felt herself stiffen a bit under his gaze.
"M-me?"
"Not a bad idea." Tonks nodded approvingly. "We won't even try and stop you."
"I'll run it with you." Harry offered a hand to help her up. Hermione looked like she wanted to run away and hide as Harry helped her take off the cloak Remus had loaned her. "That's going to slow you down." He said.
Hermione immediately wrapped her arms around herself as the chill began to get to her. She followed Harry to the start of the course, and blew out a breath. It looked much harder at the starting line than it had from where she had watched him a moment ago.
"Just follow me, and do what I do." He said. Remus raised his wand and it made a crack. Harry took off at a sprint, and Hermione followed, though she was no where near as fast. The first obstacle was a simple ramp that led to a ledge of sorts. Harry leapt off of it five feet to the ground, rolled and got to his feet and was off like a shot. Hermione followed, but landed badly in the mud. Next was a net in which she followed Harry up. It was very difficult to climb as her legs kept slipping thought the net, and she got stuck, but finally she managed to pull herself up to another ledge what was far higher than the last. Harry was already on the other side of a long balance beam, waiting for her.
Hermione had a paralyzing fear of heights, something she hadn't told Harry about yet. On the other hand, she didn't want to look weak in front of him for some reason. Her heart was pounding in her chest as she took the first shaky step on the beam and began to walk across. She nearly fell seven times into what looked to be some kind of sludge below her. Halfway across, she stumbled and nearly went over, and ended up hugging the beam. She decided it would be best to inch across this way. She could deal with the taunts and jeers; she'd been doing it for five years now.
Harry helped her back to her feet without a single negative word. He only encouraged her that she was doing great. He then wrapped himself around a rope and slid down it and progressed to vaulting himself over a series of wooden logs. Hermione gripped the rope and found it to be kind of slippery. She remembered climbing the rope at her primary school, and attempted to do that in reverse, screaming when her hands got rope burn. And she fell on her hind head on the cold and muddy ground.
With a groan of pain, she clambered to her ft, and very clumsily tried to do as Harry had done and vault over the logs. It was painful, and she kept hurting her chest with each log she scrambled over. When she finished vaulting the logs, she found she was really winded and unsure if she could finish, but Harry was always just ahead of her, encouraging her that she could do this.
After crawling on her belly on frozen dirt, and through a metal tube that was somewhat submerged in muck, Hermione followed Harry hand over hand on monkey bars, and then up and over a high wall. Thankfully Harry was on the other side of the wall to catch her, as she lost her grip. She was certain that if he hadn't been there, she would have broken her neck.
Up another incline and then swinging on ropes to the other side to run down a decline and into a bit with no obstacles. That is until she reached the end and the ground suddenly tossed her up in the air. Apparently there was a spring board hidden in the dirt. She flailed and screamed until she landed heavily in some thorny bushes. At that point, she'd had enough. She was exhausted, filthy and now had a million tiny cuts all over her.
Harry appeared and offered her a hand to help her to her feet. He was as dirty as she was, but clearly seemed to be enjoying the experience far more than she was.
"Come one, we're nearly done." He said with a pat on her shoulder.
"No, I'm done now." She gasped, clutching her side. She ached everywhere, and was certain that when she got a shower she'd be covered in dark purple bruises.
"But we…" He started, but she gave him a look that made him shut his mouth. "Guess it is a bit rough for someone who's never run it before."
"You think?" Hermione grimaced. She wanted to glare at him, but she was having trouble even standing up straight, much less breathing properly. Harry reached out and put a hand on her shoulder to steady her, and keep her from falling. Hermione felt her skin heat up where he touched as, her shirt had fallen off her shoulder, and Harry's hand was touching bare skin.
"Its worse when people are firing spells at you, and you're firing back." Harry shrugged, and began leading her back to the house. She was walking very slowly as she tried to get her breath back. Harry remained by her side the whole way, making sure she didn't need any help.
"This isn't even the worst one they have for me." Harry said. Hermione looked on in horror as Harry described one he used to run at another house. Apparently that one actually had charms and spells on some things that could really hurt him. Harry told her how he'd broken four ribs on his first run, and on the very first obstacle.
"That's just wrong." She said angrily.
"It's part of my training." He shrugged.
Hermione looked to where Remus, Sirius and Tonks were watching them, and she felt so much anger at the three of them for putting anyone, much less a child through such things. While she understood the reasons, she still felt that they were all wrong. What was worse was that she knew that Sirius at least agreed with her on some level. Yet, he had only done what any parent in the same situation would have done, whatever it took to keep the child safe.
Hermione finished her shower, and dried herself before putting on the clean clothes Tonks had lent her. The jeans weren't ripped up this time, and the t-shirt wasn't threatening to fall off her shoulders, thanks in large part to the innumerable safety pins.
When she came down the stairs, she found Harry waiting for her. He was wearing his usual black pants and shirt, along with a black hooded jacket. Sirius was giving him a wad of muggle money and smiled at her as she approached.
"We're going to be a bit busy this afternoon, so I've instructed Harry to take you into town and keep you entertained. He has enough money so you can get you some clothes and anything else you need for the next two days. After that, you two can catch a movie and have some dinner."
Sirius took Hermione aside, and whispered loudly so Harry could hear him, "He doesn't have much experience in the muggle world, so you'll need to watch over him."
"We'll be fine." Hermione said, assuring the older man. "How are we getting there?"
"Harry will drive you." Sirius nodded.
"You know how to drive a car?" Hermione looked startled by this.
"Sometimes it was best to travel incognito." Harry replied, leading her out the door, not even bothering to say goodbye to Sirius, who shut the door behind them. "Sirius felt it would be a good skill to know."
"Do you have a license?" Hermione asked. Harry looked at her with befuddlement, and Hermione felt the hair on the back of her neck stand up. Harry gave her an odd look and then got into the rather ordinary SUV. With a deep breath, Hermione got in as well, and belted herself in.
To her shock, Harry turned out to be a very good driver. Hermione found herself relaxing at the normalcy of the situation. She glanced over at Harry and for a moment, he looked to be just your everyday ordinary average teenage boy. To a casual observer, they could have been a young couple going out on a date.
That thought made her smile to herself.
They idled away their trip with meaningless conversation about classes, and a little more about Harry's training. Hermione really wanted to know about Harry's mission, but felt it might not be good to ask him.
When they got into Whitby, Hermione began scanning the streets for a suitable clothing shop. When she spotted something promising, she got Harry to park, and the two headed into a small shopping center. As they walked, Hermione couldn't help notice how alert Harry appeared.
"Are you alright?' She asked him. "You look like you're expecting to be attacked."
"Constant Vigilance." Harry replied. When Hermione gave him a questioning look, Harry continued. "Something Mad-Eye says. Always be on guard, you know?"
"He's a bit paranoid, isn't he?' Hermione asked as she led him into a women clothing store.
"A bit, but he's got good reason to be. He was the Ministry's top Auror for twenty years. He made a lot of enemies."
Hermione nodded in understanding as she began looking at jeans. "When do you think We'll be going back to school?"
"Day after tomorrow. " Harry said. "Sirius told me while you were in the shower.
Hermione gave a weak smile and found a couple of pairs of jeans and headed to find a jumper or two. She figured two outfits would be enough if they were only staying for two more days. She did feel a little bad about Harry having to pay for things that she could have gotten if Dumbledore had only given her a few minutes to put together an overnight bag. Still, she did need some things of her own, and Tonks' clothes were really not her style, and made her more self conscious then normal.
She decided to get this part of their day over with quickly as she was certain that like other boys, Harry was not a fan of shopping. She didn't need shoes, as her school flats would be fine with her jeans. She found some underwear, much to her embarrassment, as Harry was standing behind her as she chose. After she finished picking out all she would need, she and Harry paid for it all, and left the store. It was still early in the afternoon and Hermione was feeling a bit hungry. When she mentioned it to Harry, he agreed it would be a good idea to grab a late lunch.
They found a nice fish and chips place just up the street, and got a booth inside. After they ordered, Hermione's curiosity became piqued, and even though she thought it was a bad idea, she couldn't stop herself.
"What was the mission you were on last night? Why did they need you?"
"I can't tell you much.' Harry said as he looked at her in the eye. Hermione felt a strange sense of warmth in his gaze. It was an odd feeling, and she wasn't sure how she felt about it. "We were hoping to get our hands on one of Voldemort's inner circle. The Dark Lord's been laying low lately, and that usually means he's planning something. At least, so I'm told."
"So why did they need you for that?" Hermione asked.
"Probably to make sure I didn't get complacent, or slow. They did say before I left for Hogwarts I would be asked to join them occasionally." Harry said.
"Oh." Hermione replied. "Do you miss it? The fighting and missions and all that?"
"No." Harry said evenly, surprising Hermione. "The truth is, I've only been on a few missions, and with the exception of the Ministry, none of them were very exciting. They were just things that needed to be done. I don't expect I'll be allowed on anything exciting unless absolutely necessary."
"You sound disappointed." Hermione noted. Harry shrugged. "Are you really that anxious to fight, and possibly get killed?"
"No, not at all." Harry shook his head. "I don't want to die, but I've been training all my life to fight, and now that the war has broken out, I'm being kept away from it. It doesn't make sense to me. Why push me, and work me all these years for this purpose, and then keep me away from it? I don't understand why, when now is the time for me to be useful, I'm sent to school. To make friends? To play pranks? It's infuriating."
Hermione recalled her conversation with Sirius the previous night and why it was felt Harry needed to go to school. Sirius had said Harry needed to learn about friendship, and love in order for him to gain strength. It didn't really make sense to Hermione either.
"Hermione?" Harry looked at her with a strange expression. "It just occurred to me that we're following the parameters of a date. Is this a date?"
Hermione thought about it for a few seconds before she gave him a soft smile. "I guess it could be, if you'd like it to be."
"Shouldn't I have asked you out first?" Harry queried.
"You don't always have to ask. I mean, if we were a couple…"
"A couple?" Harry arched an eyebrow.
"Yes, A couple. Boyfriend and girlfriend."
"How is that different that what we are now? You're my girl friend, right?" Harry looked a bit unsettled.
"No. I mean… yes, I am your friend who is a girl, but I'm not your girlfriend." Hermione tried…
"I don't understand." Harry replied as the server brought their food to them.
"Ok, let me see…" Hermione said thoughtfully. She nibbled a bit on her lunch as she thought of how to explain things to Harry. "Ok, if we were more intimate, physically speaking, and we had deeper emotions than just platonic feelings, we could become a couple. Boyfriend and girlfriend. Right now, we are just friends. We're not lovers."
"Lovers?"
"Yeah. We're not intimate. Like Ron and Lavender. They're a couple. They share things that friends don't. Like kissing and other things."
"What other things?" Harry asked.
"Oh boy." Hermione felt her self become flushed. She fanned at her face, hoping to settle her growing nerves. "Sometimes you ask really difficult questions."
"How am I supposed to learn otherwise?" Harry replied, making Hermione give him a slight glare. Harry was unfazed by her look.
"Maybe you should think about dating someone and learning through experience." Hermione suggested.
"Aren't we dating now?" Harry countered, making Hermione sigh in exasperation.
"We're not really dating." She said, as she scrambled to think of someway to make this all clear to Harry. "We're on a date, I suppose, but we're not dating in the sense that we're a couple. I mean, couples go on dates, sure, and we've been on a date before, but… Can we change subjects?"
Harry stared at her for a moment before nodding. Hermione thanked him and guided their conversation to something she felt much safer in talking about. She decided to ask him more about some of his training, and Harry was happy to explain how the concept of the obstacle course came about. All the while, Hermione was struggling to figure out why talking about dating with Harry had made her so uncomfortable, and at the same time, so anxious. It was almost as if she had wanted to tell him they were a couple, but why?
All she could think of was Lavender had somehow implanted the thought in her mind, and the more time she spent with Harry, the more that little seed took root. The fact that in some ways Lavender had been correct didn't seem to make Hermione feel any less hesitant about it all. She had been hurt too many times to just throw caution to the wind. Hermione was still convinced Harry was going to realized he was wasting time with her and dump her as a friend. Moreover, if they were actually in a romantic relationship, it would be even worse.
When they finished eating, Harry asked Hermione about going to a movie. He reminded her that Sirius had mentioned it, and admitted that he had never been to one, and was curious. Hermione thought it might be a good idea, and liked the thought of introducing Harry to something so wonderful.
They found the cinema, and Hermione made a sour face at the choices. There wasn't much showing the she found interesting. The woman at the counter told her that there was a smaller theater just up the street that had older movies playing. Hermione and Harry found it easily, and Hermione asked for two tickets to a movie called Species.
Hermione felt the need to warn Harry about what he was about to experience.
"It's like a wizard photograph with sound, and a story." She said rather lamely. Harry gave her a look that made her shrink in her seat a bit.
"I said I'd never been to one, not that I didn't know what it was." He said. "I heard Tonks and Remus talking about films they had seen before. I was always curious about it, but I never got to go. I didn't get a lot of time to dwell on it either because there was always more training."
"I think they work you too much." Hermione sighed.
It was a real interesting experience for Hermione to watch Harry watching the movie. He was engrossed almost from the beginning, and with the exception of the nude scene, he was really entertained by it all. Hermione also thought that Harry might have gotten a few answers to some of his earlier questions thanks to the movie.
He liked it so much that he asked if they could se another before they went to have dinner. Hermione agreed, and they went to the other movie playing in that theater, something called Die Hard With A Vengeance.
"That was…" Harry stammered, searching for words to accurately describe what he had just seen. Hermione could not stop smiling at his enthusiasm. Harry had been on the edge of his seat throughout the film. Every time John McClane managed to get through another one of the terrorists schemes, Harry seemed to get more excited, and she thought for sure he was going to get up on his seat and cheer at the end.
"Amazing!" He said.
"So I take it you enjoyed that." She snickered.
"Oh, when the war is over, I'm going to go to a movie everyday." He said wistfully.
"You should visit my house." Hermione said off handedly. "My parents love movies, and have a huge collection."
"More like what we saw today?" Harry asked interestedly.
"And more. Adventure, horror, comedy, drama…"
"When can we go?" Harry asked enthusiastically. It was really strange to see Harry all… hyper. He was usually so calm, and even. He was practically glowing, and Hermione remembered Sirius saying that Harry got more powerful when he was happy. She wondered how powerful one of his spells would be right now.
"Maybe you could come to my house during the Christmas break." Hermione said before she thought about it. She wished she could take back the words, not because she regretted them, quite the opposite. She just didn't know how she could ask her parents, much less how she would explain all of this to them.
"So long as we can watch more movies, I think that would be great." Harry nodded.
Hermione gazed at him as they continued walking up the street. He looked back questioningly.
"Something wrong?" He asked.
"No." Hermione smiled. "It's… I've never seen you like this. All… excited. You're acting almost normal. I…It's nice."
Harry's smile melted a bit, though it didn't leave his face entirely. He looked almost embarrassed if Hermione had to put a word to it.
"Too be honest, I was never encouraged to get excited. It was all about control. Keep everything in control." Harry said quietly.
"Well, you're really good at it. I can never tell what you're thinking. Like right now. I mean, I know you liked the movies and all, but you slip into that blank mask of yours so quickly and easily… I just can't ever figure you out."
"Is that so bad?" Harry looked bewildered.
"No, not really. But it does make things a little more difficult."
"How do you mean?" Harry asked, as he pointed out a nice looking restaurant. Hermione nodded in agreement with his choice, and continued.
"Well, when we talk about things… I can never tell if you're really interested in what we're talking about, or if you're just being polite." Hermione stammered, not really sure where she was going here. "Even when we were at Hogsmeade, you… it was like you weren't really experiencing it."
"I don't understand what you mean." Harry shook his head.
"I know." Hermione nodded, and patted his arm. "But, after what I just saw, I have hope."
Harry could only stare at his companion with confusion, while she smiled hopefully back at him.
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