บท 31: Oemma’s Letters
Han Sofia POV,
"Ok, we will rest for 10 minutes before the next scene", said the Director to the members
"Ye", they replied in unison
We are shooting a VCR for the BTS Muster Magic Shop. We've been shooting from 7am to nearly 4pm, and now we only have to shoot one closing scene before the filming is finally over.
I went over to RM and tidied the clothes he wore. JK, Jin and Jhope were seen massaging each other's shoulders and necks on the sofa. Jimin and V were chatting, several stylists were standing around them. Meanwhile, Suga just stood there looking at all of us.
I think he is tired right now, he has to act continuously and it is not an easy thing for him. I thanked RM and took a bottle of water and walked over to Yoongi who stared blankly at his friends.
"Suga ssi, gwaenchana?", I asked when I arrived in front of him
"Huh?", He replied surprised when he realized that I was in front of him
"Do you want some water?", I said handing the water bottle while smoothing the scarf wrapped around his neck
"Gomawo", he said, sipping the water bottle. "Oh, I'm so tired," said Yoongi quietly
"It will be finished soon, hold on", I said smiling but immediately lowered my face when he looked closely at me
"See you at home then, Sobi", he whispered in my ear then walked away to the members
"Aigo", I muttered softly
It's been 3 days since he confessed his feelings to me. I was very surprised of course, I thought he said those things because he was drunk. But the next day he immediately contacted me, and said that what he said last night was true.
I thought about his words while I was in library, whether I should believe his words or not. However, our kiss last night wasn't the kind of lustful one we had in Brazil. The kiss was sincere, gentle and full of love. And his attitude also changed drastically after that -although sometimes he remains cool- but he seemed to care for me.
We haven't talked about this anymore because since then Yoongi hasn't returned home yet. He was very busy practicing and preparing Muster in several cities in Korea and Japan.
"Noona, gwaenchana? Your face is flushed ...", Asked JK looking at me anxiously
"Ye, gwaenchana. It's just a little hot here," I said quickly, fanning my face with my hands and laughing awkwardly
I walked back to where the staff had gathered and watched the filming continue. In the distance, the members seemed to be listening to directions from the director.
"Sofia ssi, our departure schedule for Busan has changed. We will leave together with the others the day after tomorrow. But I hope you will still arrive at the office in the morning," Raim told me
"Ye, oenni, arasso", I replied nodding. "Uh, oenni, may I overstay in Busan? I want to visit my grandmother who lives there", I said hopefully
"Ye, of course. But I want you come to work on Tuesday, arasso?", She said smiling at me
"Ye, oenni. Gomawo", I said, smiling broadly
The day after tomorrow we will leave for Busan, BTS will hold the fifth Muster for two days there. At first our team planned to leave for Busan tomorrow but that plan changed, I don't know why.
"Ok, cut !!", shouted the Director
"Finally it's done, we can go home now ...", shouted RM happily
"Daebak! Finally finished", said Jhope laughing cheerfully
"I hope ARMYs will like it! We have worked hard to record the VCR this time", said V speaking in front of the camera
After they all took a photo together, one by one the stylist staff approached them, helping the members remove the accessories and clothes they were wearing.
"Please help me Sofia", said V to me
"Ye", I replied
"You didn't wear the gift from me?", Asked V, looked at my ears
"Huh? Ah, ani. The earrings are very beautiful, I can't wear them on a normal day like this", I replied with a shy smile
"But I want to see you wearing it, it will look beautiful on you", he said again, removing the scarf around his neck and giving it to me
"Jinjja? ... well I'll wear it when we're in Busan then", I replied smiling at him
"Good ... oh but Sofia, did your husband know I gave you a gift?", He asked, a little worried
"Of course he knew ... and I think he's fine with it. He knew that you gave it as a gratitude", I replied
"Thank God," he said, showing his boxy smile. "Are you guys okay?", Asked V again curiously
"Umm yeah, we are fine now. Our relationship was about to end but ... but then he said that he didn't want us to separate, so I decided to give him a chance", I said smiling at him
"Jinjja? Do you guys like each other now?", He screamed, raising his eyebrows
"Ssssttttt", I put my index finger in front of my mouth, asking him to calm down. I glanced my eyes nervously at where Yoongi is, but sighed with relief when I saw Yoongi asleep on a sofa at the end of the room.
"Jinjja? Do you like him now?", Asked V quietly
"Umm yes, I think I like him ...", I replied blushing while lowering my face
"Woah, daebak !! I will always wish the best for you", said V happily
"Gomawo, Taehyung ssi ...", I replied with smile
"Do you have your wedding photos on your cellphone? I really want to see it", said V hopefully
"Aah, ani. I don't have one. Mianhae", I replied with a grimace
"Jinjja? Aah what a shame", he replied sullenly. "I hope one day you will introduce your husband to us, Sofia. We're friends, right ...", said V again
"Ye", I replied biting my lip
After all the accessories were removed from his body, V thanked me and walked to the changing room to change his clothes.
Then I looked around, all the members except Yoongi had changed clothes. I saw Jin gently shaking Yoongi's body to wake him up.
"Let me do it, oppa", I said to Juyoung who was about to approach Jin
"Get up Yoongi~aah, we will go home. Sleep in the car later, now change your clothes", he said to Yoongi who was rubbing his eyes
"Sofia~aah, please help him, I think he's very tired", said Jin when I was beside him and leave us
"Ye", I replied
Then I knelt in front of Yoongi and patted his arm to wake him up, "Suga ssi, wake up. You have to change your clothes, the members are getting ready to go home now".
"Sobi?", He called still with his eyes closed
"Sofia, it's Sofia", I replied nervously while looking around, worried that someone might hear Yoongi calling me Sobi
"Yes, it's you, my Sobi ...", he said, opening his eyes slowly
"I'll help you take off your accessories," I said after seeing his eyes completely open
I took off some bracelets on his left hand, and some rings on his right, when suddenly his hand grasped one of my hands gently.
I lifted my head in surprise and found him looking at me.
"Hajima (don't)", I said softly and let go of my hand from his hand
I stood awkwardly and pocketed the bracelets and rings in my trouser pocket.
"Get up please, I'll take off your scarf", I said nervously under his gaze
He sighed and straightened his body, then slowly stood in front of me saying, "Do it ... you can also take off my clothes if you want".
"Huh ?! You're crazy!", I whispered in surprise as I widened my eyes at him
He didn't say anything, just laughed cheerfully until his shoulders shook too. "Why are you so serious, I'm just kidding", he said
Some of the staff near us turned their faces towards us full of curiosity, "you're crazy", I said, pouting
"Aish! Kyeopta (cute)", he whispered, still chuckling
I untied the scarf around his neck quickly and immediately left him. I lowered my face, I'm so embarrassed right now, why does he keep teasing me ?, I thought irritated.
I sighed softly while tidying up the clothes and accessories that had been worn today. The members have left the filming location, so there are only staff left to clean up the place.
"Oettoke? What should I do when I meet him at home," I whispered to myself
I haven't told Yoongi about my feeling, even though Yoongi has told me that he would never file our divorce. I think he already knows how I feel for him, I thought.
"Yorobun, let's go home ... the rest will be taken care of by the equipment team", Haewon told us
"Ye. Thank you for your hardwork", we said to each other
Then we went to the parking lot to go back to our homes. Tomorrow we have to prepare costume fittings that will be worn at the Muster event in Busan early in the morning, so we are very grateful to be able to come home early today.
It took about 1 hour and 15 minutes from the shooting place to UN Village. During the trip, Yoongi called me twice just to ask my position at that time. He also said that he would arrive home around 10pm, after he had finished his work.
When I got home, I parked my car in the garage. Then went to my room to take a shower. After showering and having dinner, I saw that it was still 8.30pm, I still have plenty of time before Yoongi arrives, I thought.
Then I decided to pack my suitcase, well actually I just put some clean clothes in the suitcase I had brought during the concert.
"What is this? Aahh ...", I said as I took out an wooden box from a pile of towels and socks
I smiled at the wooden box containing my mother's letters on my lap. Without thinking I leaned my back against the bed, opened the box and started reading my mother's letters and emails one by one.
The longer I read, various emotions stirred up in my heart. Sometimes I smile or laugh when I read letters that contain interesting and funny things about our lives. But apart from that, I also felt angry, frustrated and even cried when I read about the bitter experiences my parents had suffered so far.
There are many things that make me surprised, I never know that they have experienced it all.
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Seoul, February 19, 1995
Dear Mia,
I'm sorry I just replied to your letter now. Many things have happened in the past two weeks that have left me quite shaken. As I said in my last letter, that I visited Busan with Soojin to meet his parents. And I think that meeting was my first and last meeting with them.
Well, they don't approve of our relationship, Mia. They don't even seem to like me, even though it was just our first meeting ...
Soojin's parents said that I had a bad influence on their son. They are still disappointed that Soojin refuses to become the heir to the Han family company. And they were even more angry when we came and said that we were getting married.
They kicked us out and said very hurtful words to Soojin. I was really shocked, sad and angry at that time, how could such words come out of people who call themselves Father and Mother.
Then a few days ago, Soojin's mother came to see me. She asked me to stay away from Soojin and offered me some money so I can cancel our marriage, Mia ...
Can you imagine how I feel, Mia? I was really disappointed and humiliated by that ...
But Soojin assured me that our marriage would go on, no matter what. He had been holding back on his parents for a long time, hoping they would one day accept his decision. But it seems that it is really in vain, they even prefer to cut ties with their only biological child just because he chose his own path of life.
I think my letter is too long. All these words of mine can't explain how frustrated we are at the moment. I just hope that good things will happen to us. And I wish you and your family always healthy and happy, Mia.
I'll get back to you as soon as possible, I have to go now.
Your sister,
Jennifer M. Atkins
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Daegu, July 10, 2005
Dear Mia,
How are you Mia? I hope you, Robert and William are all well. We are also healthy and doing well. Anyway, it's been a week since we moved to Daegu City. Soojin received an offer to join the Daegu Symphony Orchestra since his collaboration song with his best friend —who is also a tenor singer— was liked by many people. And I'm very grateful for that.
Our house in Daegu is very comfortable, even our neighbors are very kind and lovely, especially Min's family who live right next to our house. They have two sons, and I am very grateful that Sofia was able to be friends with them.
At first Sofia had difficulty adapting at home and at her new school, she always looked gloomy. But since she became friends with the second son of the Min family, I saw that she was getting brighter and brighter every day.
Next week I'm going to start working part time for a publisher in this city. I'm only in charge of translating documents and books in English, and what's even more fun is that I can do it all at home!
Alright that's all from me. I can't wait to hear about you and your family. I hope you are always healthy.
Your sister ,
Jennifer M. Atkins
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Daegu, March 22, 2006
Dear Mia,
Today is the last day of Soojin's funeral procession. And who knows what his parents thought, when Soojin was about to be cremated, they came and made a scene.
I'm so shocked, Mia. They screamed and cursed at me and all the guests who were come at that time. They said that it was my daughter and I who caused Soojin to die.
I'm so devastated, Mia. I lost my husband and currently my daughter is between life and death. But why are they even doing this to me?
Then the police decided to close the accident case. They said that the accident they experienced was only caused by the driver's negligence.
Even though I felt a lot of oddities in the accident. Starting from the brakes that didn't work, Soojin's seat belt isn't fastened to the reason why the thing that was supposed to be my daughter's best friend's gift was in Soojin's hand when he was found. Whereas previously the gift was neatly wrapped in the gift box when we bought it.
I really want to know what really caused the accident, Mia. Because I know my husband very well, he is always careful when driving, especially when he was driving with Sofia.
I really hope you can be here with me, Mia. I'm so overwhelmed right now, both physically and mentally. I hope Sofia will wake up soon, because I might go crazy if Sofia also leaves me.
Your sister,
Jennifer M. Atkins
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Daegu, April 17, 2006
Dear Mia,
I'm so thankful that Sofia has regained consciousness this morning. Even though her condition was not stable yet, I was grateful that she was able to open her eyes and recognize me.
The doctors said that maybe Sofia would experience some problems with her brain and nerves, but they could not confirm that until further tests were carried out.
Anyway, my mother-in-law came to visit Sofia this afternoon. This was their first time meeting face to face. Although previously she had also visited Sofia when she was still unconscious.
I allowed her to see Sofia because I think she also deserves to know and meet her granddaughter. We are in the same situation right now, we just lost our loved ones.
And how are you, Mia? I hope William and Robert are always healthy and safe. I feel better here too, I will try to continue my life because Sofia really needs me right now.
Your Sister,
Jennifer M. Atkins
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Daegu, May 5, 2006
Dear Mia,
I'll be back in England next Tuesday. I know it's really sudden. But I felt like I had to get Sofia out of here. I have a bad feeling about my father and mother-in-law. I think they'll take Sofia from me.
Ever since Sofia came home from the hospital, they always visit us, asking about Sofia and trying to convince me that they can give Sofia the best treatment she needs if we want to come with them to live in Busan.
It's ridiculous, they hated us so much before, but why did they suddenly turn out like this ?! I guess they are very desperate right now, they are not young anymore and they have no heir. I was afraid they would just take advantage of Sofia.
So I decided to get out of Korea immediately, I'll go as far away from them as possible, Mia. And I will continue Sofia's treatment at our new place later.
I can't give you any more details because I'm afraid they'll find out and come after us. Take care of yourself, Mia. I will call you asap.
Your sister,
Jennifer M. Atkins
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Birmingham, May 10, 2006
Dear Mia,
How are you? I hope you, William and Robert are all healthy and happy. I've arrived in England since a few days ago. I returned to Birmingham after nearly 15 years of leaving this city.
We're doing well, just needing to adjust ourselves a little to our new environment. I'm really excited to be back here, and more importantly, we're getting closer now. I'll visit you in London when Sofia gets better. Or you can visit us here if you want ....
I am currently working as a teaching assistant at the University of Birmingham thanks to the help and recommendation of my former Professor. And next week Sofia will start her treatment here.
Well, she is still traumatized, had an amnesia and still difficult to speak. Every night she always had trouble sleeping, every time she closed her eyes she would start screaming and sobbing for her father. She lost her father terribly and this was a huge blow to her. But I'm sure she can get through all this.
We're starting our new life here, so don't worry about us, Mia. I miss you so much ...
Your sister ,
Jennifer M. Atkins
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Birmingham, February 5, 2015
Dear Mia,
I'm going back to Korea next week. My mother-in-law just sent us our travel tickets. We will stay in Seoul this time. We left early because we needed to find an apartment and Prepare for Sofia's college in advance.
I hope my decision is right, Mia. I have forgiven my father and mother-in-law. And now my father-in-law is gone, I feel sorry for my mother-in-law because she have to live alone. I know what it feels like to lose a loved one, that's why I decided to stay closer to her.
Besides that, I also hope that Sofia can get to know her grandmother. You know all this time she never knew her...
But I honestly feel a little worried, but I will leave everything to Sofia. I will let her choose what she wants to do. If she chooses to be the heir to the Han family, I will definitely support her. But even if she refuses, I will stay by my daughter's side and support her. I won't let the Han family take advantage of my daughter.
I have to go, Mia. I still have to finish my work. Take care of yourself ... I love you.
Your sister,
Jennifer M. Atkins
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Seoul, August 17, 2018
Dear Mia,
How are you and your family? Are you all safe and healthy?. I've been feeling unwell these past few months, I'm having digestive problems, Mia. But you don't need to worry, my mother-in-law has sent herbal medicine and I'm currently doing much better.
Anyway, actually last week we just came back from Busan. My mother-in-law asked us to take a summer vacation there. Sofia was very happy to be able to spend her holiday with her grandmother.
But there is one concern, Mia. My mother-in-law talked about Soojin's will. Do you remember that I asked her not to read the will before Sofia grew up?. And now she is talking about the will again because she thinks now is the right time for the will to be read.
I was so upset, I didn't want Sofia to get caught up in the life she didn't want. I felt that my mother-in-law wanted Sofia to get married soon, so that Sofia and her husband could inherit the Han family business.
But they are still very young right now ... I want them to live up to their own dreams, instead of having to live under the pressure of my mother-in-law.
I will continue to convince my mother-in-law to delay reading Soojin's will. I hope my daughter and her husband won't feel what my husband has felt. I'll make sure they don't experience that.
Your sister,
Jennifer M. Atkins
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Those are some of the letters my mom has written to Aunt Mia. And I felt my tears dripping after reading my mother's last letter before she died. She was still worried about me even though her condition was bad at that time.
I folded my legs and put my face between my hands and knees. I really miss my mother now, I didn't know that she had experienced this. She was always laughing and cheerful in front of me. Not once did she show me her sadness and worry.
"Oemma ....", called me between my tears
* knock knock
I jumped to hear a knock on my door. Who is knocking? Is Yoongi home? Why didn't I hear him coming, I thought.
"Sobi? Are you sleeping?", A call from outside
I wiped my tears and took a deep breath, trying to calm myself down. Then I opened my bedroom door slowly.
"Yeobo?", I said when I saw Yoongi standing in front of my door
The smile on his face immediately vanished, replaced by a worried look and a frown on his forehead.
"Wae? Are you crying?", He asked, taking one step toward me
"Ani aniya ...", I replied quickly, trying to avoid his gaze
"Don't lie to me. What's wrong? Has something happened?", He asked as he stepped closer
"Gwaencahana, jinjja. I'm just ... just reading the letters from my mother ... and I, suddenly I really miss her ...", I replied while lowering my face
I gasped when he pulled me into his arms.
"Gwaenchana ... you can cry. But don't cry alone, we can cry together, arasso?", He said holding me tightly
I did not say anything, my heart felt warm hearing his words. I just nodded my head slowly then buried my face in his chest.
"I miss my mother, Yeobo. Why does she have to go through all this misfortune? I never know that my grandmother has ever done something bad to her ....", I cried
"Ssshhhh .... gwaenchana ....", he said comforting me
I continued to pour out my feelings to him, telling about the contents of the letters from my mother. He just listened while continuing to pat me on the back.
"Ottoke? What should I do? Should I talk to my grandmother about this?", I asked when we had sat side by side on my room
"Actually, your grandmother told me about this, Sobi. And at that time she said that she was very sorry for what she had done to your mother and father. That's why she loves you very much right now ... I think she wants to pay for her mistakes to your parents by loving their daughter", he replied in a deep voice
"Halmoeni ever told you this? Jinjja? When, Yeobo?", I said staring at him
"When she was staying here. She told me this when we were having dinner", he replied, looking at me closely
I lowered my face while muttering, "arasso".
"Everyone must have made mistakes, Sobi. The most important thing now is that your grandmother has realized her mistake and regrets it", he said
I nodded my head, saying nothing.
"And your mother must be a very extraordinary woman because she has forgiven your grandma even though your grandparents have hurt her many times," said Yoongi again while hugging my shoulder gently
I didn't say anything, I just stared blankly at the glistening lights of Seoul in front of me, remembered what aunt Mia said when she gave me my Mom's letter ....
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