บท 42: The few we once called friends
The sun had just started to set by the time Izuku got back to the dorms, shuffling his feet through the doors silently as All Might, who had escorted him back, followed him through the doors.
His classmates had just begun to settle for the evening, creating a pillow fort in the living room with sounds of joy radiating thought-out the room, and dishes of food laying spread out over the kitchen table just out of view.
Izuku felt his expression soften at the sight, momentarily forgetting the anxiety which had been building as he had walked to the dorms, watching his classmates silently as they ran about grabbing stuff for their movie night; all with smiles attached to their faces.
The entire atmosphere around the room had lifted Izuku's dull spirits, making him almost forget they hadn't noticed he was there when the sounds of the dorm front door shutting behind them grabbed a few of his classmates' attention.
The instance reaction at noticing his presence varied widely between people, for better or for worse.
"Deku-Kun!'
A loud excited squeal from over the other side of the living room as Ochako bolted towards him before pulling him into a tight hug around his waist; the sudden action catching him by surprise.
Izuku jumped back slightly at her action, a little unsure as to what to do as he tensed up at the unfamiliar contact before gently placing his arms around her body to return the hug, offhandedly ignoring the embarrassed flush he could feel warming upon his cheeks.
Ochako looked up from where she had been squeezing him and offered him a wide smile before quickly tightening her hold and letting go to grab ahold of his hands to get a good look at him.
"Oh, I'm so glad you're alright!" She began with a bubbly grin, her personality radiating like waves around her making Izuku smile awkwardly just as another voice joined the pair of them.
"Midoriya!"
Todoroki was quick to join their side, his smile much smaller and still just as comforting as Ochakos as some of the other members of their class began to circle the trio of them.
As the smiles and voices filled with joy surrounded him, it didn't take long for him to notice the stark contrast between the people watching silently behind.
Mineta, who Izuku remembered seeing at the training camp along with lida, Kouda, and Ojiro while he was in his ghoul form, froze as their eyes made contact. The cold, terrified look he was sent made Izuku's heart drop as he saw the muted fear behind his classmates' eyes, the poor boy physically shivering at his presence.
Something in him felt odd, watching someone he never really considered a friend but a classmate nonetheless, murmuring something to a tense-looking Tokoyami who was standing beside Shoji before quickly scampering away from him.
Izuku gulped as he felt the smile on his cheeks tighten, his eyes training in on the rest of the few others hanging back silently from the crowd, subconsciously blocking out the noise from the frequent question and discussion happening right beside him.
Tokoyami and Shoji, stood awkwardly at the edge of the kitchen, watching from afar; the looks of unsure distrust and mild displeasure as they shared a knowing look together.
The two boys had both been with their small group when both he and Bakugou had been kidnapped, both of them sharing the same memories of him tearing the Nomu apart to its death as he lost control over his body.
Izuku hadn't had the chance to talk to them yet, to try and explain why, but he didn't think it would be worth trying to defend his actions; seeing the lingering looks of fear and tension which filtered between them.
Kouda and Ojiro weren't much different than the others, both holding back as they stared at him with shock and betrayal, as they made no attempts to get anywhere closer towards him; although, Midoriya could see the tinge of sadness in Ojiros expression.
It only took him a second to remember that Aizawa had told him that the rest of the class had been told Hagakure had dropped out of her free will, and not because she was a traitor to the school.
It wouldn't surprise him if the few people who knew of his identity didn't start coming up with their own theories as to why he had been allowed back into the school so freely, wondering what kinds of dodgy deals or lies he must have told to bribe his way back in. It wouldn't take them long to speculate that he could have been the traitor all along instead.
None of it was true, of course, but they didn't know that. None of them had a clue...
The last person Izuku made eye contact with was lida, who was busying himself away at the edge of the kitchen, trying to stay out of his line of sight.
Izuku felt his stomach twist uncomfortably as they made momentary eye contact, his friend grimacing silently before looking away from him, not bothering to give him the dirty looks the others had given him.
Izuku had expected something worse, he had expected him to say something crude, for him to send him distrustful glares or to scamper away in fear much like Mineta had done.
It hurt to know one of the few close friends he had made during his time at UA wanted nothing to do with him anymore, reminding him of the horrible days which followed after his quirklessness diagnosis and in some way, lidas distant reaction made him feel so much worse.
"Deku, are you alright?"
Izuku jumped slightly as he looked back towards Ochako who was looking at him with worry, her curiosity getting the best of her as she followed his line of sight and let out an understanding "ooh..."
The rest of the class seemed to have wandered off by now, going back to preparing for their movie night and offering him offhanded invitations to join them, with only Shout standing by his side still when Izuku replied to her.
"I'm fine, Uraraka, it's alright." Izuku began, lowering his head so none of his oblivious classmates would overhear them, "I- I don't blame them for acting that way."
Uraraka shifted slightly as his expression tightened, the pair now looking face to face as she rebuked his statement, "But it's not your fault- you shouldn't have to put up with that!"
Izuku grimaced.
"They don't know what happened, Uraraka." He began, shaking his head slightly, "They have every right to be afraid after what they saw and knowing who I am.."
Not everyone was as kind and as understanding as Uraraka and Todoroki had been to him, evident by the masses of people who had been working on his case and still fort against his freedom, even after they had all heard the truth spilling from his mouth.
Even after all this time, Izuku was still surprised at the kindness and care the staff at UA were showing him, and the lengths they had gone to ensure his safety. This included the acceptance Uraraka and Todoroki had shown him, even though they had both been furious and utterly disgusted with him before he had poured his heart out to them and showed them his weakest points.
Izuku wouldn't be surprised if both of them had been terrified of him, even after he had managed to explain himself he knew the looks of doubt and distrust they must send behind his back.
It's natural to be scared, and hate the things you don't understand, after all...
Uraraka watched him silently before sighing and offering him a weak smile, nodding solemnly as she pulled away from their close proximity. She stood back and scratched her arm as she looked over to lida when Izuku overheard her let out a sharp gasp, her nail catching on a massive scar on her arm, which had gone hidden out of sight by her sleeve until she had brought attention to it.
Izuku felt his eyes widen with horror at the sight, the mangled scar tissue hitting Izuku like a freight train as he instantly recognised where the wound had come from. The ghastly scar stretched from her forearm before reaching up to her shoulder where skin graphs and surgery scars clearly laid, evidence of the extreme procedures the doctors who had treated her had to take to salvage her arm.
"Uraraka, you arm..!"
Izuku's voice was strained, his heart dropping and smashing on the ground as he felt a sharp wave of guilt and shame overcome him. Ochako sucked in a deep breath as she pulled her hand away from her arm, her body tensing rigidly while realizing what he was talking about before she had even turned back to face him.
"AHH! It's Nothing!"
Her words came out frantically, eye-widening with urgency as she quickly turned back to face Izuku as if she had been caught doing something illegal, nervously looking enough the room to see if anyone was still watching them; other than Todoroki who was standing back with concern written on his face.
Quickly she swiped her hand away from her arm and patted her sleeve back down, in some kind of futile attempt to hide it away, the end of the scar still poking out as she desperately tried to hide its extent from Izukus view.
Izuku's face crumpled with shame and fearful disgust towards himself, eyebrows furrowing worriedly, as his mouth opened to rebuke her statement.
"Uraraka, That's not fine, I-"
"She said it was nothing, Deku."
The pair both stopped as they peered over to where Bakugou had appeared, his eyes and brows narrow as always as he walked casually toward them, "So stop thinking about it."
Izuku felt his eyes widen with surprise, looking away from Uraraka who moved away from him as his attention settled on his friend, the words of relief he felt falling from his mouth after finally seeing him again after the traumatic experiences they had shared together.
"Kacchan! You're alright!"
Bakugou looked him up and down, his eyes lingering on his healed leg and the partly hidden scars under his long sleeve shirt, reminding Izuku with a blanched grimace of the last time they had seen each other; just after he had torn his own leg off, been knocked unconscious, handcuffed and dragged inside the police station.
It hadn't particularly been the greatest farewell interaction.
At least, however, Bakugou didn't look much worse for wear considering what they had been through. Although, luku was sure he could still see the faint outline of darkened under eyes hanging on to his skin.
Bakugou rolled his eyes slightly as he clicked his tongue.
"Stop the crying Deku, I didn't come down here to hear you whining."
He momentarily paused, shifting on his feet as his expression softened, "No one told me if you were coming back, I was gonna get really pissed off if you didn't...
Izuku looked at Bakugou with surprise, his jaw-dropping slightly at his words while Ochako and Shouto stood back and watched with a similar response.
The pair stood in silence for a bit, no one really knowing what to say until Izuku began to utter an awkward response.
"Oh, I-"
"Oh Hey! Bakubro! Have you finished your room?"
Izuku jumped slightly as Kirishima came dashing over with a bright grin on his face, clearly unaware of what they were talking about, as he saved the pair from shared second-hand embarrassment.
Bakugou turned to face his friend as Kirishima finally came to a stop beside them, giving Uraraka a chance to slip away with Todoroki following closely behind from the conversation that Izuku and Bakugou had been dragged into, much to Izuku's low-spirited guilt.
"Yea, I've nearly finished now, I can do the rest later." Bakugou began, far calmer than Izuku was used to hearing him speak.
Kirishima nodded quickly with a bright smile, balling his hands into fists excitedly, the little reaction causing Izuku's frown to lighten slightly at the sight.
"All right! Finally, we can all spend time together again!" Kirishima cheered with his eyes closed joyfully, opening them again to ask him a question,
"Are you coming down for movie night? You too, Midoriya! I don't think you heard me earlier! We've almost finished setting up but-"
Bakugou shifted slightly as he uncharacteristically cut in, "I need to talk to Deku about something...
Kirishima paused for a moment, his hands still clenched in happy fists as he looked between the two, worry growing on his expression at Bakugou awkwardly quiet response.
"Oh. Is this about-"
Kirishima paused before wincing and offering them a sympathetic look. Bakugou only remained silent, rolling his head to the side to look out the window as Izuku looked between the two wondering what Bakugou wanted to say to him.
Probably relating to the mess luku had brought him into, that would probably be about right.
Kirishima offered them a weak smile and took his silence as an answer, nodding his head with understanding.
"Alright then, we're all just happy you're both alright, ya know." He began much more calmly, tilting his head to the side as he smiled brightly again. "You're both welcome to join us once you are done! We were all really worried about you, you must have had to have been super manly to escape, so you don't have to be ashamed and hide away from us because of what happened!"
His oblivious words struck a chord in Izuku, as he offered Kirishima a wobbly smile as he tried to hold back his tears, knowing Kirishima wouldn't be saying the same things if he had known what some of the others had seen.
"Ahh- Thanks, Kirishima..." Izuku replied, Bakugou watching him silently before sighing and turning away to walk back to the elevator.
" Come on nerd."
Izuku looked over to the elevator before offering Kirishima a quick smile before jogging over to Bakugou to join him, the pair leaving the rest of the students in the common room feeling utterly relieved for either their safe return home or Izuky's final absence from the room.
Bakugou's calm exterior seemed to switch off the moment the elevator doors shut behind them, the fade covering his true anger and annoyance towards Izuku disappearing as they silently went to Bakugou's dorm, since Izuku had yet been given time to finish unpacking all his stuff; leaving Izuku in a tense position as the blond opening the door to his room prompted Izuku to follow.
The lights were left off as the sun shone brightly through the window, layering the room in a cover of golden light as they slowly trodden their way into the room.
Silence.
Izuku stood near the entrance of the room as he shut the door behind him in silence, unsure of what to do as Bakugou seemed to get more agitated and annoyed at something as each second ticked on.
Izuku gulped awkwardly, "Umm, Kacchan? If this is about-" he paused, "what happened, I'm sorry, i-"
Bakugou seethed through his teeth before letting out an agitated sigh as he clenched his fist, interrupting Izuku's speech. Izuku stood back as he watched the blond look down to his hands before Bakugous turned to look back up at him for the first time since they had both been downstairs, his eyes were greeted by the narrowed red iris of Bakugou's own.
The sight caused him to flinch back slightly at their intensity, the sight bringing him back to their days in middle school, Izuku's reactions leaving
Bakugou hesitating and shifting awkwardly as guilt crept into the blond's body.
"I just- I need to know-" Bakugou began with a struggle, pulling his eyes away from Izukus as he gritted his teeth with a wave of bitter anger towards himself and Izuku.
Izuku took a cautious step back when Bakugou noticed his action and turned to look at him, the expression now caught in the blond's eyes making his whole world pause at the absurdity of it all.
W- was he crying.?
The tears weren't there for long, as Bakugou quickly wiped them away, but Izuku had known what he had seen reflexing in the poor light.
He reached out his hand.
"Kacchan, I-"
Bakugou flinched.
"Why didn't you attack me? HA, Deku? Why didn't you try and eat me?'
Izuku flinched back in horror at Katsukis painful words, the spiteful tone drilling into his mind before he narrowed his eyes at the audacity of that man.
"Uh? What?" Izuku questioned offendedly, a look of disgust and sorrow forming on his face at the thought of Bakugou thinking so lowly of him, after everything they had been through, "Why would you even say that? You're my friend, I would never hurt you-"
His answer only seemed to irritate Bakugou more.
"That's not what I meant! You stupid moron!" He growled angrily, curses and swears flying wildly,
"Why did you risk your escape like that to help me?
Ha?I didn't-"
It was Midoriya's turn to narrow his eyes spitefully, as he assumed Bakugou's ego was getting the best over him just like it always had.
"..Are you seriously getting angry at me because I helped you get out of that warehouse, " Izuku raised his voice, as he folded his arms with an agitated sigh, not having the energy to care about the consequences of his back mouthing now, "
Really? You're getting petty over that-"
"No!'
Izuku blinked as Bakugou interrupted him with a sharp response, grabbing at his blond hair stressfully as he muttered something incoherent to himself.
"…Why can't you just understand.?!'
Izuku felt his arm loosen as he watched Bakugou harshly pulled at his hair, "…..Kacchan? What's wrong-"
His words were cut off once again, but this time by Bakugou's strained laugh, causing Izuku to flinch back slightly whilst looking at him with concern.
"Kacchan-"
"
Why are you like this to me? After everything I've done and how horrible I've been to you our entire lives.!'
And suddenly, Midoriya realized what he was talking about.
"…Kacchan."
"And stop calling me that stupid nickname!I don't get it! I don't get you!"
Izukus' narrowed eyes softened into something more like a wince as he clenched his mouth shut.
"I don't know why I don't hate you, after how horrible you've been to me in the past..." He paused before sighing and lowering, "I've just had some kind of urge to follow you wherever you go, ever since we were young, even though l've had far too much on my own plate to bother you since was given my quirks...
The sun began to hide itself behind the curve of the earth as exhaustion dragged at his body from the long day he had had to endure, the tension draining out as he slumped slightly without care.
"…..But why would you bother putting up with that, you stupid nerd?"
Izuku stifled a tired sigh, taking a deep breath in as he spoke, offering Bakugou a weak smile.
"I'm not stupid enough not to realise we haven't been close friends in a very long time, Kacchan." He began softly, his words catching Bakugou by surprise as he turned to face him again.
"That doesn't mean I stopped caring about you as if you were. Even when the sludge monster had attacked you, and i didnt have a quirk, I could just stand by and watch you die..."
Bakugou shifted, the anger on his face replaced with something far more muted as he looked at Izuku tiredly, turning to look away.
"…..That doesn't explain why you would go so far to eat your own fingers over and over again, does it Deku? You threw yourself in front of every attack that the league had sent at us like a reckless idiot, even though you were starving..."
IzuKu winced at his blunt words, opening his mouth to respond when Bakugou carried on, grabbing at his hair as he slid his hands down his face.
"…..Ever since we escaped, I can't stop myself from thinking back to when Shiggaraki disintegrated your leg. I can't stop thinking about how you just tore your own leg off to stop the damage from spreading, and there was nothing I could have done to help."
Bakugou drew in a long shaken breath, his eyes hardening defensively while the tears trailing down his face, clearly visible to Izuku, told a different story.
"I just- Am i really that- i felt so useless. I couldn't have escaped there on my own, there was no way I could have used my quirk either to protect myself and yet I got out unscathed..."
Was Bakugou behaving like this because he couldn't make sense of why Izuku hadn't eaten him?
The thought made Izuku feel sick, his stomach swirling at the thought of murdering someone he had known for so long. Bakugou might have been an asshole to him- well, he still was, but Izuku would fight against his hunger to the very end if it meant he could keep someone he cared about alive.
"As much as i would never want to eat you anyway, don't think i could live with myself if i ate someone i had known personally for such a long time, intentionally or not..." Izuku mumbled out, thinking back on all the pale, lifeless faces he had watched the warm drain from, causing Bakugou's eyes to widen uncharacteristically at his response.
He thought back to the darkroom they had been caged in, the blood, the tears and the mold which riddled the walls, causing Izuku to shift under his classmates' watch awkwardly. Bakugou was right, there was no point in trying to deny it. He had been starving, even before they had been thrown in together.
Izuku snorted softly, suddenly remembering something, as a sad smile formed on his face. He looked towards Bakugou with a small playful grin, the latter looking at him weirdly at his odd reaction.
"I won't lie though," Izuku began with a quiet laugh, "Your quick makes you smell of caramel anyway, and I can't stand the smell of it, you probably wouldn't taste very good at all."
Bakugou's surprised expression quickly morphed into a scowl, wiping away some of the few tears which had escaped from his eyes as Midoriya chuckled lightly at his reaction.
The pair stood in a calming silence, neither really knowing how to respond, as they both soaked in the last remaining flares of the sun. A minute had ticked by, and lzuku shifted slowly towards Bakugou, raising his arms offering him a silent hug with a weary grin on his face.
"…We can be friends now though, right..?"
Bakugou turned to look at him suspiciously, eyeing Izuku's hands before letting out a long sigh, turning to face Izuku as he grumbled out a response.
"…..Fine. Just this time..."
Midoriya wasn't sure if he was replying to his offer of friendship or a hug, but either way, it didn't matter as he walked forward and pulled Bakugou into a hug, the latter keeping his arms locked to his sides as Izuku wrapped his arms around his and soaked up the comfort.
It felt really odd, to him at least, finally hugging his longest friend for the first time since they were probably just around three, but it was nice; the physical contact warming Izuku's tired soul.
It wasn't long until Izuku felt Bakugou's arms hesitantly move up to hug at the green-haired boys waist, the blond hiding his face from Izuku behind his wavy hair.
The sun dropped from the sky, leaving behind the golden haze in the sky as it slowly followed beyond the horizon.
Izuku didn't know it at the time, but the physical contact calmed the raging waves inside Bakugous mind, the touch reminding him that Midoriya was going to be alright and that he was safe and alive.
Reminding him that they were both safe, and alive.
Midoriya would say that the shouts and threats about trying to blackmail his friend that he received later, were certainly worth it!
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