บท 224: Chapter 225: Captain America: I'm Really Not America's Sweetheart!
At this point, Gamora realized that Drax had also followed them in, which startled her.
"Don't look at me with those evil eyes anymore!" Drax said fiercely.
"Why is this guy here?" Gamora asked.
"We promised to keep him by your side until he takes down your boss," Peter Quill said, "I have good character, and I keep my promises. Besides, if I didn't agree, he'd kill me."
Clang!
Peter Quill tossed the prosthetic leg in front of Rocket Raccoon.
But at this moment, Rocket Raccoon revealed a shocking truth in a leisurely tone, "Oh, I was just kidding about the prosthetic leg thing."
"What?" Peter Quill thought he had misheard.
"I just thought about that scene and found it super funny," Rocket Raccoon excitedly explained, "That guy can only hop around now."
"I spent 30,000 credits to buy that from him!" Peter Quill was infuriated by Rocket Raccoon's words, nearly coughing up blood.
"How do we get out of here?" Drax asked.
Ratatat!
Before Rocket Raccoon could answer, a drone flew over and started shooting at the guard tower.
"We should have a plan, right?" Peter Quill yelled, "You're not kidding about this, too, are you?"
"I have a plan, I do!" Rocket Raccoon said.
"No time to waste, let's get out of this wretched prison," Drax said.
"Yes, I agree with what the living idiom dictionary said," Peter Quill added.
"My name is not the living idiom dictionary," Drax said.
"It's just a metaphor," Peter Quill said, looking at Drax as if he were crazy.
"These people don't understand metaphors," Rocket Raccoon explained while operating, "They don't know what a metaphor is."
"Nothing can escape my mind," Drax said, "My reactions are as quick as thunder, and you won't escape my grasp."
"Being with the dumbest idiots in the universe, we might as well be dead," Gamora sighed.
It had to be said that this critique found unanimous agreement among the people in the answering space, except for Peter Quill. He always thought he was the smartest.
A large number of guards arrived, carrying artillery on their shoulders, aiming at the guard tower.
"Listen to my command! Fire Number 1!"
Bang!
A shell exploded on the guard tower.
"Little Raccoon, we're waiting for your plan!" Gamora urged when she saw this.
"Don't rush!" Rocket Raccoon was still madly operating.
"Fire Number 2!"
Boom!
Another shell hit the guard tower, cracking even the glass.
"I'm reminded of this kind of animal. We used to roast it over the fire when we were kids. Tender and juicy." Drax suddenly said.
This sentence could be said to have left the people in the answering space all speechless. Saying they used to eat roasted raccoon as kids right in front of Rocket Raccoon was not just a matter of not understanding metaphors; this guy's brain might be seriously broken!
Well, this weirdo aside, even Rocket Raccoon wasn't normal. Amidst an escape plan, he found time to make Star-Lord fetch a completely unnecessary prosthetic leg just because he thought it would be funny to see the guy hopping around. Clearly, there's something wrong with his brain too.
As for Groot, he simply tore the energy battery off without caring about anything, not to mention whether he had a sane mind.
And as for Peter Quill, he managed to do the unthinkable and hammer Thanos at such a critical moment. There's no escaping the fact that he's an absolute idiot.
When you tally it up like this, the entire Guardians of the Galaxy team looks quite abnormal, except for Gamora who seems relatively normal.
Her earlier sarcasm was right on the money. She really is stuck with the most brainless idiots in the universe.
"Fire Number 3!"
Once again, a shell struck the guard tower.
This time, the guard tower sustained even more damage, and the glass looked like it was about to shatter completely.
"Everyone, listen to my command, 3, 2..."
Just as another round of attacks was about to commence, Rocket Raccoon twisted two wires together. Suddenly, all the artillery on the guards' shoulders began to float.
It wasn't just the artillery. The guards and other prisoners in the prison also floated in mid-air!
"He turned off the artificial gravity. Everywhere else is weightless except for here," Gamora deduced from the situation.
Rocket Raccoon pulled another lever, causing the top of the guard tower to separate from the bottom. It floated into the air, and he pressed a button on a screen, summoning a fleet of drones that carried the guard tower away.
"I told you, I had a plan," Rocket Raccoon said as he operated the controls.
The guard tower floated away unimpeded and reached the entrance.
But just as it arrived, the guard tower suddenly shook and came to a stop.
And the nearby iron gate slammed shut!
"This plan is flawless," Peter Quill couldn't help but comment.
"Yes, my ship is over there! The Milano!" The good news was that Peter Quill spotted his own ship nearby after exiting the guard tower. "The orange and blue one, it's right there in the corner."
The first thing they did after leaving the guard tower was to retrieve their personal belongings confiscated by the guards.
While everyone else quickly located their items, Peter Quill noticed that he was missing a very important possession: his cassette player.
"Take the orb and let's go," Gamora called out.
"Wait, wait," Peter Quill said.
"What's wrong?" Gamora asked.
"That little rodent didn't give it back to me," Peter Quill handed a bag to Gamora, "Take it to the ship, I'll be right back."
"What are you going to do?" Gamora asked. She couldn't understand why something could be so important that he had to retrieve it at a time like this.
"Keep the Milano ready nearby. Go!" Peter Quill's tone was resolute as he turned and dashed back into the prison.
Peter Quill changed into his own clothes, picked up his gun, and easily took down several guards.
Meanwhile, the other members of the Guardians of the Galaxy had already boarded the Milano and piloted the ship into space.
"How's he going to join us?" Rocket Raccoon asked from within the ship.
"We still don't know everything about him!" Gamora said.
"He can do whatever he wants. I'm not waiting here for that moron," Rocket Raccoon didn't plan to wait for Star-Lord to catch up. But before they took off, he remembered something and turned to Gamora, "The orb is with you, right?"
"Correct." Gamora opened the bag that Peter Quill had given her, but there was no orb inside!
There was nothing they could do except wait.
"If we don't leave now, we'll be blown to pieces!" Despite waiting, Rocket Raccoon couldn't help but speak up.
"No! We can't leave without the orb!" Gamora decisively refused.
Just then, a figure flew into space and headed towards their ship.
It was Peter Quill.
"You've got guts, kid. A true ally who's willing to stand and fight against Ronan," as soon as Peter Quill entered the ship, Drax couldn't resist asking, "What did you go back for?"
Peter Quill casually handed a cassette player to Drax.
"You're utterly foolish," Drax remarked.
The space darkened, and the video came to an end.
"Quill, is there something special about that cassette player?" Stephen Strange couldn't help but ask, "At such a crucial moment of escaping, you were willing to risk going back for it?"
"It's something my mother left for me," Peter Quill explained.
No need for further explanation. With just that sentence, everyone understood the whole story.
"The original intention of the Guardians of the Galaxy wasn't really about guarding the galaxy; they just wanted to sell the Infinity Stone for profit," Steve Rogers remarked, "That's something I hadn't anticipated."
"When Quill went back for the cassette player, he knew Rocket might not wait for them. So, he secretly left behind the Infinity Stone, and indeed, Rocket didn't 'betray' his trust. He truly intended not to wait," Tony Stark said, "At the start, there was no trust between them at all; their cooperation in the prison break was solely based on mutual interest."
"At that time, none of them had the idea of forming a team," Clint Barton added, "After selling the orb and splitting the money, I bet they planned to go their separate ways."
"But none of them expected that they would end up forming a team," Natasha Romanoff said.
[The third question begins, please prepare.]
[When Steve Rogers was called "America's Ass," who greatly appreciated this title?]
[A. Captain America, Steve Rogers]
[B. Iron Man, Tony Stark]
[C. Black Widow, Natasha Romanoff]
[D. Ant-Man, Scott Lang]
[Answer correctly to receive the Stand "Stone of Freedom." Answer incorrectly to deduct one year of lifespan.]
"Wow, America's Ass?" As this question was posed, everyone's attention turned to Steve Rogers. Tony Stark couldn't help but comment, "If it wasn't for the question pointing it out, I wouldn't have noticed. Cap indeed has a 'captivating' backside."
"As far as 'captivating' goes, among us, maybe only Natasha can compare with Cap," Stephen Strange added.
"I used to be quite confident in my physique," Natasha Romanoff said, "But in front of Cap, I don't think I can live up to the term 'captivating'."
"Guys, come on," Steve Rogers raised his hands in exasperation, "This isn't what it seems like. Let's not make a big deal out of it."
"Isn't it? Why do I feel so much more invigorated after seeing this question?" Scott Lang eagerly said to Steve Rogers, "Cap, do you want to teach us some tricks? We'd like to be, well, appealing like you."
"Don't let me find out who called me that. Otherwise, I'll show them the fury of a centenarian," Steve Rogers clenched his fist.
"It's definitely not me," Scott Lang quickly replied.
"And the person who appreciated this title can't be let off the hook either. They need a good lesson," Steve Rogers continued, "In a way, this person is even more detestable than the one who came up with the title."
"How do you want to teach them a lesson, Steve?" Bucky Barnes asked.
"Do you have any suggestions, Bucky?" Steve Rogers turned the question back to him.
"How about stripping them naked, tossing them onto the street, and making them dance?" Bucky Barnes suggested.
"That's a good plan, Bucky!" Steve Rogers approved and patted Bucky Barnes on the shoulder, "I'll do the stripping, and you can take the photos. Then we'll post them online! Especially for the one who appreciated it, take more pictures and make sure they're clear!"
"Steve, I never thought the illustrious and dignified Captain America could be this mischievous," Natasha Romanoff remarked, seeing his enthusiasm.
"It's not me being mischievous, it's just that they're despicable," Steve Rogers explained.
"I don't know who the latter part of this question refers to, but the first part, I think I know," Clint Barton said.
"Without a doubt, it's Tony," Phil Coulson said, "With such a 'sharp' tongue, it's definitely Tony."
"Hey, hey, hey! Can you guys not give me that 'definitely' look?" Tony Stark protested, "It's not me, definitely not me. I definitely don't have the habit of staring at another guy's behind!"
"Tony, it better not be you," Steve Rogers said.
"Definitely not me," Tony Stark replied.
"If the person who said it isn't you, then the one who appreciated it must be you," Steve Rogers continued, "Since you've heard this kind of talk, I don't believe your mouth can resist saying something."
Tony Stark: "..."
So, I'm wrong no matter what I say, huh!
"Tony, if it's not you, then who do you think it is?" James Rhodes, though he also believed it was probably Tony Stark, had to speak up as a loyal friend.
"First of all, it definitely isn't Cap," Tony Stark said, "That's the easiest option to eliminate."
"So, who's the second easiest to eliminate?" James Rhodes asked.
"Natasha," Tony Stark said, "A bunch of guys talking about a man's behind, a girl probably wouldn't chime in."
"Two eliminated, and you said it's not yourself..."
"Therefore, the answer is obvious!" Tony Stark pointed at Scott Lang, "It's Scott."
"Tony, don't just make baseless accusations," Scott Lang quickly denied, "It can't be me, I've always had a skeptical respect for Cap. You guys don't know, but I can't help but salute when I mention him."
"You just mentioned it, and you didn't salute," Peter Quill interjected, adding fuel to the fire, "You're lying."
"It's probably Scott," Steve Rogers suddenly said.
"Come on, Cap, you're suspecting me?" Scott Lang looked hurt.
"This whole 'captivating' thing, it's definitely Tony who brought it up," Steve Rogers said, "Since he brought it up, the one who appreciated it must be someone else. I can't possibly appreciate it myself, and Natasha is unlikely to. Scott, it's not personal, but you're the most suspicious."
"Cap, let me explain!"
"No, I won't listen," Steve Rogers made his decision, "I choose D!"
[Answer incorrect! Deduct one year of lifespan!]
"How about it, Cap? I already said it's not me!" Scott Lang said, "I've said it before, I have nothing to do with 'captivating' or anything like that."
"If it's not you, then it must be Tony, right?" Steve Rogers looked at Tony Stark, "Self-appreciation, Tony, you really have nothing better to do."
"Come on, Cap, you're just jumping to conclusions without evidence. You're already set on me?" Tony Stark put on a very aggrieved look.
"Fine, Tony, you're right, I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions and assumed it was you," Steve Rogers conceded.
"Cap, your willpower isn't very firm, huh? You were swayed by me so easily?" Tony Stark couldn't help but burst into laughter, "In fact, I also think it's me."
"..." Steve Rogers was speechless, "Since you also think it's yourself, why are you arguing with me?"
"I just wanted to see if you could be persuaded," Tony Stark said.
"Tony, you're really annoying," Natasha Romanoff told Steve Rogers, "Cap, you mustn't let him off easily. If you say you're going to strip him and take pictures on the street, you have to follow through."
"I'll definitely follow through with that. No matter who the answer is, I'll make sure to do it!" Steve Rogers declared, "I swear."
Soon, the answer space began playing a video.
The first scene showed Tony Stark, clad in his armor, silently flying into a building and stealthily observing.
And the person he was observing wasn't anyone else, it was himself!
To be precise, it was his past self, as well as other members of the Avengers.
"If you don't mind, I'd like a drink right now." Loki, now a captive, showed no sign of accepting his defeat, asking for a drink.
"Alright, pull him up," Past Tony Stark, wearing his armor, turned around and walked away, saying as he went, "Let's stop posing like idiots and save that for later. By the way, you can clean up."
"Mr. Rogers, I almost forgot that your outfit doesn't do justice to your behind," Tony Stark, hidden in the shadows, looked at Past Steve Rogers and whispered.
"No one asked you to look, Tony," Steve Rogers's voice came through the earpiece.
"Absolutely ridiculous," Tony Stark became obsessed, his eyes still fixated.
"I think you're handsome, Cap," Scott Lang, perched on Tony Stark's shoulder, said, "In my view, that's 'America's Backside.'"
"Who gets the scepter?" Natasha Romanoff held the scepter and asked.
"The Strike Team is on their way to retrieve it," Past Steve Rogers said.
Ding!
At this moment, the elevator doors opened, and Hydra agents, including Crossbones, walked in. Natasha Romanoff handed the scepter over to them.
"Who are these people?" Scott Lang asked.
"They're S.H.I.E.L.D., but actually Hydra. We just didn't know at the time," Tony Stark said.
"Really? You guys didn't know?" Scott Lang expressed disbelief, "They look like bad guys at first glance."
"Although you're small in stature, you sure have a lot to say," Tony Stark commented.
At this point, the people inside the elevator got up and left. The Hydra group took the scepter, and Thor and the others led Loki away.
As for Past Tony Stark, he placed the Tesseract inside a briefcase.
"Alright, it's your turn, kid." Tony Stark, seeing this scene, said, "Our stone is right there."
"Okay, hit me," Scott Lang said.
Tony Stark flicked his finger, sending Scott Lang onto the past Tony Stark's body. Then, he tapped his chest, the armor flowed over, and he flew away with a whoosh.
"Alright, Cap, the scepter is in the elevator, just passed the 80th floor," Tony Stark scanned the movements of the Hydra agents holding the scepter in mid-air.
"I got it," Tony Stark stood in front of the elevator and pressed the button, "To the lobby."
"Okay, we'll meet there," Tony Stark said.
"Cap probably said 'Hail Hydra' at this moment!" Seeing this, Clint Barton said.
"I couldn't understand when Cap said 'Hail Hydra' back then, but in this situation, it makes much more sense," Thor said. "The video confirms our previous speculation. Everyone went back to the past to collect the stones. Cap went back from the future, so naturally, he knew those people were Hydra."
"When Thanos snapped his fingers, Steve turned to ash, but when Tony snapped his fingers, Steve was there," Nick Fury said in a low voice. "This means the plan to bring back people who turned to ash by collecting the stones in the past was successful."
"Cap successfully tricked Hydra into giving up the scepter, as shown in the video, no doubt about that," Natasha Romanoff said. "Scott has just infiltrated the past Tony Stark, and I really want to see how he gets the Tesseract."
The video quickly revealed how the "Incredible Heist Team" unfolded. Tony Stark, disguised as an ordinary S.H.I.E.L.D. agent, said, "Thumbs up, girl, do you copy? I've spotted the target, we can begin."
"Blow it," Scott Lang jumped from the hair of the past Tony Stark onto his beard, then slipped into his T-shirt and finally into the Arc Reactor.
Dudududu!
The sound of footsteps echoed densely, and a group of people suddenly appeared in front, blocking the path of Past Tony Stark's group. The leader was none other than Alexander Pierce, the head of Hydra.
"Can I ask where you're going?" Alexander Pierce asked.
"Grabbing some lunch, then heading back to Asgard," Thor asked, "Sorry, who are you?"
"Alexander Pierce, the big boss behind Nick Fury," Past Tony Stark explained to Thor.
"My friends call me Mr. Secretary," Alexander Pierce said, "I'll have to ask you to hand over that fugitive to me."
"Loki will answer to Odin," Thor said.
"No, he'll answer to us first. We've already debriefed him, then we'll hand him over to Odin," Alexander Pierce added, "We'll also need to take that case with us."
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[END OF CHAPTER]
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