บท 137: Chapter 138: Who Saw the Hulk's Bare Butt
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"It doesn't matter what's inside," Mrs. Davis said.
"It's clear you're waiting for someone, right?" Tony Stark flipped through the document, "You had a meeting."
"Yes," Mrs. Davis replied.
"Mrs. Davis, your son didn't commit suicide," Tony Stark looked at the document again, closed it, and said to Mrs. Davis, "I promise you, he didn't kill anyone. Someone used him."
"What?" Mrs. Davis asked, surprised.
"They used him as a weapon," Tony Stark said.
"You're not the one who called me," Mrs. Davis finally realized.
"It was actually me," the scar-faced woman appeared, slapping her credentials from the National Security Agency on the table, then she quickly pushed Tony Stark down and handcuffed him.
"What are you doing? What's going on here?" a tall and burly middle-aged officer walked over.
"Arresting a suspect," the scar-faced woman pushed Tony Stark aside, "Are you an officer?"
"Yes, ma'am. Who are you?" the middle-aged officer asked.
"National Security Agency," the scar-faced woman flashed her credentials in front of the middle-aged officer, "Is everything okay now?"
"No, there's a problem," the middle-aged officer smiled, "You'd better tell me in more detail."
"This is beyond your jurisdiction," the scar-faced woman said.
"Why didn't you call my boss to authorize me?" the middle-aged officer asked.
Sitting there, Mrs. Davis noticed that this so-called National Security Agency official was suspicious and secretly threw the documents she brought under the table.
"Do you know? I hope we can solve this problem intelligently," the scar-faced woman didn't notice Mrs. Davis' small movement. She walked up to the middle-aged officer and looked at him, saying, "Don't make it so serious."
As she spoke, the scar-faced woman's hand suddenly turned fiery red, as if molten lava was flowing beneath the skin, and it heated up the metal on her credentials.
"Get this woman out of here," the middle-aged officer could tell that the scar-faced woman was pretending, but before his colleagues could make a move, the scar-faced woman suddenly smashed the scorching credentials into his face, causing a sizzling sound and a scream.
Then the scar-faced woman reached out and pierced the middle-aged officer's abdomen, as if poking through a layer of paper, her fiery hand passing through easily. After piercing through the middle-aged officer's abdomen, she snatched the handgun from his waist, and then she shot and killed the two other officers on the scene.
"Hey, hot chick, want to join the party? Come on, I'll accompany you!" Tony Stark rushed out of the bar, trying to lure the scar-faced woman away.
However, as he ran out onto the street, he saw a bald man getting out of a car, the same guy who used a helicopter to blow up his seaside mansion.
The Tony Stark in the video had not encountered this bald man before, but he knew that this guy was definitely an enemy because the bald man's face also showed the fiery red color, as if there was molten lava flowing beneath his skin, just like the scar-faced woman who shot the officers.
Tony Stark quickly turned and ran in the opposite direction.
The bald man took out his handgun, aimed at Tony Stark's back, and fired, but just before the shot, a snowball flew over and hit the bald man's shoulder, causing him to miss his shot.
It turned out that the potato gun little boy launched a surprise attack on the bald man. He then hid behind a streetlamp and remained unnoticed.
With the help of the potato gun little boy, Tony Stark managed to sneak into a nearby shop.
The scar-faced woman followed closely and chased him into the store, and they began to fight.
Tony Stark seized an opportunity and used the handcuffs on the scar-faced woman's wrists to strangle her, but the scar-faced woman's neck turned fiery red again, melting the handcuffs!
"Again with these tactics!" Steve Rogers frowned slightly, "Stark, she can even melt metal. That means her skin's temperature is extremely high. But with such high temperature, shouldn't she be melting herself?"
"I can't tell what's going on right now," Tony Stark kept his eyes on the video. "I didn't expect the Ten Rings to also have people with enhanced abilities."
"At present, two of Mandarin's men with these abilities have appeared. These two both have these methods," Bruce Banner said in a deep voice. "So we have to assume that Mandarin has a way to mass-produce these enhanced individuals. The Ten Rings, besides the two people in the video, likely have other enhanced individuals as well."
"It's really troublesome," Tony Stark couldn't help but rub his temples. "Why are there so many clever people? Can't they just be an ordinary terrorist organization? Why do they have to be so special?"
"Tony, are you really in a position to say that, as if you didn't open the 'non-human' era?" James Rhodes couldn't help but tease, "Before you announced yourself as Iron Man, the only thing I had to worry about was the neighbor's Snoopy not stealing the ham from my fridge. But after you appeared, gods descended, World War II veterans resurrected, and the witches and magic that I thought were just bedtime stories also appeared..."
"That's got nothing to do with me," Tony Stark said, "If I hadn't become Iron Man, Odin wouldn't have exiled Thor, and Captain wouldn't have woken up."
"It's really an age of chaos," James Rhodes sighed.
In the video, the scar-faced woman suddenly becoming "fiery" wasn't entirely a bad thing. She successfully melted the handcuffs on Tony Stark's wrists, freeing his hands.
Tony Stark poured a bucket of gasoline on the floor, and then he kicked the red-hot handcuffs that had fallen on the ground. With a whoosh, the entrance was engulfed in roaring flames, separating Tony Stark and the scar-faced woman into two different worlds.
The scar-faced woman looked at the sea of fire and simply walked right into it! Tony Stark knew that fire wouldn't kill her for sure, and he had prepared for it. He put a bunch of metal into a microwave in the corner and set it up.
"You can't even be considered a fiery woman even if you burn yourself to ashes," Tony Stark remarked as he stared at the fiery entrance.
"Is that all you've got? Cheap tricks and cheesy catchphrases?" The scar-faced woman walked out of the fire unscathed, full of life.
Not only had she survived, but her little dress also remained unscathed, which was unbelievable.
"Darling, I don't need overly expensive tricks to impress you," Tony Stark said, removing the gas hose from an already loosened gas cylinder, then he turned and ran into another room, closing the door.
With a hissing sound, the gas started to spew out.
Meanwhile, the metal placed inside the microwave started sparking with electric sparks. In the next moment, there was a big explosion.
Tony Stark stumbled out of the shop. The scar-faced woman was stuck on top of a power line, apparently propelled there by the earlier gas explosion.
However, the ordeal wasn't over yet. There was another person with the ability to generate high temperatures, the bald man.
The bald man stood in front of a water tower, and a fiery palm swept below the tower, turning it entirely red, as if it was going to melt.
The bald man pulled both hands down, and the massive water tower collapsed with a loud crash, flooding the area with water like a deluge.
Tony Stark lay on the ground, tightly hugging an iron rack to keep from being washed away.
However, this wasn't a real flood; the water tower had a limited capacity, and soon all the water flowed away.
But Tony Stark was still pinned down by the iron rack.
Just as he was about to free himself from the rack, the bald man appeared.
However, he wasn't alone.
He had taken a hostage.
The potato gun little boy, who had secretly saved Tony Stark with a snowball.
"Kid, what do you want for Christmas?" The bald man came to Tony Stark, placing one hand on the boy's chest, his hand glowing fiery red.
"Mr. Stark, I'm really sorry." The potato gun little boy apologized to Tony Stark for becoming a hostage.
"No, no, no, I think what he wants to say is that he wants that damn file!" The bald man said.
At this point, the video darkened, and it ended.
"..." Tony Stark was suddenly feeling irritated. "Why did it end now? Does the little boy have any problems?"
"You're pinned down, and without your armor, facing an enhanced individual with a hostage, the situation doesn't look too optimistic," Steve Rogers said.
"Captain, thank you for that analysis," Tony Stark retorted sarcastically. "I can't tell that much myself. At a time like this, couldn't you say something like 'fortune favors the brave' or something comforting?"
"Stark, you don't need to worry too much. You'll be fine," Bruce Banner chimed in, finally saying something that Tony Stark liked to hear.
"Although I don't know much about the armor, the one in the video is obviously not as advanced as the one during the battle with Thanos," Steve Rogers continued, making Tony Stark feel relieved. "That means the Mandarin's attack happened before Thanos arrived. Since you managed to survive until Thanos arrived, the attack by the Mandarin should be risky but ultimately safe."
"Exactly, it must be risky but ultimately safe. This cute and smart kid deserves to live more than me," Tony Stark quickly added, "If I can survive, the little boy must have survived as well."
"At such a dangerous moment, he actually apologized to you," James Rhodes sighed, "Tony, if only you were half as mature as that kid, then Pepper and I wouldn't have to worry about you so much."
"I give you a headache?" Tony Stark was taken aback by the comment. "How come I don't know about this?"
"Come on!" James Rhodes rolled his eyes upon hearing that. "Do you have any idea how often I had to clean up after you?!"
"How about you make a list for me?"
"Damn it, Tony." James Rhodes flipped him the middle finger.
[Let's start the fourth question.]
[Who saw the Hulk's bare butt?]
[A. Thor]
[B. Iron Man - Tony Stark]
[C. Captain America - Steve Rogers]
[D. Black Widow - Natasha Romanoff]
[Answer this question correctly to gain 10 years of life. Answer incorrectly, lose 1 year of life.]
As the question was asked, everyone's eyes fell on Bruce Banner, with peculiar expressions.
"Why are you all looking at me?" Bruce Banner said nonchalantly, "That's the Hulk, not me."
"Don't fool yourself, Dr. Banner," Thor said, "The Hulk is you. You share the same body."
"I don't want to look like a weirdo," Tony Stark chimed in, "But I must say, I'm quite curious about that scene."
"Every time Dr. Banner transforms, his shirt bursts open, but his pants remain intact," Steve Rogers said, "So this time, the Hulk's pants tore apart just like his shirt."
"Since Captain brought it up, Dr. Banner, care to explain why your pants are always fine whenever you transform?" Tony Stark asked, "Even if something happens, at most, the pants' legs burst open, turning into shorts, but it doesn't affect your ability to wear them?"
"I don't know about that," Bruce Banner shrugged, "The one who bursts the clothes is the Hulk, and the one who keeps the pants intact is also the Hulk. Shall I call the Hulk out, and you can invite a couple of reporters to interview him together?"
"No need for that, Dr. Banner," Tony Stark waved his hands dismissively, "I was just kidding, kidding."
"This question is quite simple," Bruce Banner continued, not waiting for others to speak, "Do you all remember a previous question asking who the Hulk threw like Loki? From that video, we could see that the Hulk spent a considerable amount of time on a planet called Sakaar. And from my judgment, it's not that Bruce Banner lived there and transformed into the Hulk when necessary, but I lived there as the Hulk."
"Dr. Banner, why do you think that?" Steve Rogers asked.
"Because if it were me, I would definitely oppose violence and wouldn't participate in those gladiator battles. They wanted the Hulk to come out, so they used means to provoke me, forcing me to transform before the battle," Bruce Banner analyzed, "The consequence of doing that is the Hulk's indiscriminate rage and destruction. But as you've all seen, the Hulk only attacks the combatants and not the audience. On the contrary, he enjoys their cheers. So, there's only one possibility: I lived there as the Hulk for a period of time."
"In that case, the answer to this question is Thor?" Tony Stark said, "When the Hulk was eating or bathing, only Thor and the Hulk would be in the same place."
"Damn it, even if that's the case, why would I see the Hulk bathing?" Thor's eyes widened, "What on earth happened?"
"Maybe you accidentally saw someone posting their shower photos on social media and developed some peculiar habits because of it," Tony Stark said, "But I have to criticize you a bit. You shouldn't spy on the Hulk; he's still a child, even though he's a bit big."
"Posting things on social media sounds more like something you'd do," Thor said.
"No, those sanctimonious and self-righteous guys are the ones who love doing that the most." Tony Stark glanced at everyone, finally landing his gaze on Steve Rogers, "I think Captain America is the most likely culprit. Yes, it must be Captain America."
"How could I do something like that? I don't even have a social media account," Steve Rogers said, "Stark, with such a vivid imagination, why don't you call the Hulk out and tell him a bedtime story?"
"Everyone, we're getting off track," Bruce Banner intervened, "I choose A, Thor."
[Correct answer! Awarded 10 years of life!]
Shortly after the answer was revealed, the video began to play. Initially, Thor was lying there with his eyes closed, and a few girls were applying medicine to him.
"Ah~" Suddenly, Thor opened his eyes, waking up and scaring the girls away.
Thor stood up, surveying the surroundings, and picked up his clothes from the ground to put them on.
Suddenly, a rushing sound came from a corner. Thor turned to see a large pool of steaming water in the room, with a huge green figure almost concealed by the steam.
With that skin color and size, who could it be other than the big green guy?
"Are we both okay?" Thor asked the Hulk.
The Hulk sat in the pool without saying a word.
"Hulk is taking a hot bath," Thor remarked, finding it quite novel. As he walked around the room, he continued, "How long have you been like this?"
"Like what?" the Hulk asked.
"Like you are now—big, green, and stupid," Thor turned around, pointing at the Hulk.
"Hulk has always been Hulk," the Hulk replied.
"How did you end up here?" Thor walked to the window, looking outside.
"Won," the Hulk said.
"You cheated, right?" Thor pointed to a small metal ring around his neck. "When you won, did they put this on you? How did you get here?"
"Quinjet," the Hulk made a flying motion with his hand.
"Excellent!" Thor's face brightened, and he quickly asked, "Where's the Quinjet now?"
Splash!
In the water, the Hulk stood up, revealing everything in front of Thor.
"You're a bit too exposed now," Thor turned around, "It's all out in the open."
The Hulk, with his large and green body, walked past Thor.
"This image is unforgettable," Thor closed his eyes.
"Quinjet," the Hulk said, pointing at the window.
"So, the Hulk used a Quinjet to travel to an alien planet?" Tony Stark couldn't help but speak up in the answer space.
"The Hulk's intelligence is comparable to that of a child, right? Can he pilot a fighter jet?" Sam Wilson wondered.
"The Quinjet from S.H.I.E.L.D. does have an autopilot function, although it's not that great," Tony Stark said, "What I'm wondering is when did the Quinjet acquire interstellar travel capabilities?"
"I remember reading science fiction novels before, and interstellar travel is usually very distant, measured in light-years," Steve Rogers added, "It involves passing through wormholes and black holes."
"The Quinjet definitely can't handle wormholes. With its current design, if you put it into a wormhole, it'll be torn to shreds. But if it doesn't go through a wormhole and relies on flying to an alien planet, that's a tremendous distance. I'm afraid it would run out of fuel just after taking off!" Tony Stark said.
"It's not just a fuel problem. I don't think S.H.I.E.L.D. initially designed the Quinjet to go beyond the Earth's atmosphere," T'Challa added, "The materials used for the Quinjet allow it to function in the Earth's atmosphere, but it would probably be scrapped once it reaches space."
"Thor ended up in that place after being thrown out of the Bifrost Bridge. The Bifrost Bridge is a celestial bridge with interstellar teleportation capabilities," Tony Stark shrugged, "So Thor's arrival there is still somewhat reasonable. But the Quinjet flying to an alien planet, it's just absurd."
"Stark, this event has already happened or, to be precise, will happen in the future. So don't dwell on scientific logic," Steve Rogers said, "Many things are beyond scientific explanation."
"But this is too absurd," Tony Stark remarked.
"Human understanding of the universe is an ongoing process, but our knowledge is still limited," Steve Rogers said, "The Quinjet theoretically can't achieve interstellar travel, but who knows if some unexpected situation might lead to this result."
"An unexpected situation?" Tony Stark laughed, "Captain, I'd love to know what kind of unexpected situation could give this outdated aircraft interstellar travel capabilities."
"Like a strong flyer carrying the Quinjet across space," Steve Rogers shrugged, "Just like you carrying a nuclear missile."
"Cruising through space with a fighter jet?" Tony Stark burst into laughter, "Captain, it's a shame you're not writing novels with such wild imagination, even coming up with such crazy things."
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