บท 5: CHAPTER FIVE
CHAPTER FIVE
NOAH SILENTLY cupped his ears as he tried to block his classmates' laughters. Hindi niya alam kung bakit mga ito tumatawa. He's anxious that they might be talking about him behind his back.
At sixteen years old, Noah had been a very shy and anxious kid. Bawat galaw ng mga tao sa paligid niya, minamasdan niya dahil natatakot siya na baka ayaw nila sa kaniya.
He likes to socialize. He really do. Kung lalapitan siya ng mga tao, he'd be happy to initiate the conversation. The problem is, he can't take the first move to talk to people. Dahil natatakot siya na baka inaabala niya ang taong iyon at mainis sa kaniya.
This is why he hates strangers. Dahil imiisip niya na baka ayaw nila sa kaniya.
Whenever he's with a group of people, he usually stay quiet and prefer to be invisible rather than opening up and expressing his opinions dahil baka mainis sila sa kaniya at sabihang "bida" siya.
Bago siya magsalita, iniisip niya muna ang sasabihin niya dahil ayaw niyang kainisan siya.
He admits, he is a people-pleaser. He doesn't mind if people takes advantage of his kindness as long as they don't hate him.
Sa totoo lang, nahihirapan na siya sa ganitong pamumuhay. He can't say whatever he wanted to say. He can't do what he wanted to do. Gusto niyang makipagkaibigan but he doesn't have the courage to do so.
Malakas na tawanan ang naririnig ni Noah sa classroom. His classmates are noisy as they talk to each other.
"Ayoko, parang ang boring niya kasama." Sambit ng isang kaklase niya.
Noah immediately thought, "is he talking about me?"
Inatake ng kaba ang dibdib niya. He really hated being the center of the conversation.
Saktong pumasok ang teacher. Sumipol naman si Asher Suarez, ang madalas na nangbubully sa kaniya. "Ayan na ang amo ng hayop natin sa classroom!" He exclaimed kasabay ng pagtawa ng mga kaibigan niya.
"Okay, class. Handa na ba kayo sa presentation niyo?" Tanong ng teacher.
Each student was tasked to research about science facts at kailangan ito ipresent sa harap ng klase. One thing that Noah hated the most.
Hindi naman ganito si Noah dati. He used to be a lively kid. Ang batang mahilig magrecite at hindi natatakot magpresent sa harap.
Pero ngayon, he's so damn scared of facing his classmates. All because he was bullied during childhood. There was one time where he happily recited the answer but turns out, that answer was wrong. Tinawanan siya ng teacher niya pati ang nga kaklase niya. Sa sobrang hiya ni Noah, hindi na siya nagrerecite muli dahil natatakot siyang mamalian ng sagot at pagtawanan.
"Let's start alphabetically. Alegre, you start." Utos ng teacher.
Huminga nang malalim si Noah bago tumayo at humarap sa klase.
But the whole class was noisy. Hindi niya alam kung kailan siya magsasalita.
"Guys, quiet." Utos ng teacher pero hindi natinag ang klase. They are still talking to each other like they are not interested.
Some are looking at him, waiting for him to present pero ang iba, nagiingay at naguusap.
Sinenyasan siya ng teacher na magsimula. Kahit maingay ang klase at kinakabahan, binasa ni Noah ang ni-research niya. Mabilis ang pagsasalita ni Noah at halos hindi na siya makahinga dahil sa sobrang kaba. When he was finished, saka lang siya nakahinga nang maluwag at umupo sa upuan niya.
When it was his classmate's turn, Noah observed carefully how his classmates listened carefully to the presentor and even reacting to it.
Everyone really has their favorites.
Tumungo nalang si Noah at pinikit ang mga mata. Sumasakit ang ulo niya kakaisip ng kung ano.
During lunch time, magisang kumakain si Noah sa classroom. Siya lang ang tanging nasa loob ng silid dahil ang karamihan ay sa cafeteria kumakain kasama ang mga kaibigan.
"Bakit ang lungkot mo?" Tanong ng tanging kaibigan na si Aeign nang makapasok sa classroom niya.
Sa halip na magtanong, Noah spoke, "anong ginagawa mo rito?"
"Sasamahan ka. You looked lonely." She answered.
Umiling si Noah habang umiinom ng tubig. "I appreciate the offer but no thanks. I can eat alone. Saka may mga kaibigan kang dapat samahan."
"Noah, alam mo namang nandito lang ako. Kausapin mo naman ako. Anong nangyari?" Masuyong tanong ni Aeign.
"Baka mairita ka lang sa akin." He claimed.
Aeign frowned. "Bakit naman? Kaibigan kita. Hindi ako maiinis sayo. Kaya kausapin mo ako."
Noah heaved a deep sigh. "I'm scared." Simpleng sagot niya.
"Bakit?"
"I want to get out of my comfort zone and have lots of friends just like Asher. I want to stand everyday without thinking that everybody hates me. I worry that I'll forever be like this. The bullied Noah whom everybody hates." He whimpered.
Aeign breathed heavily and looked at her friend intently. "What do you want me to do to help you?"
"I want to have your support but at the same time, I want to do this alone." Sagot naman ni Noah.
Aeign gripped Noah's hands tightly. "Then I'll support you silently. Kung kailangan mo ako, tawagan mo lang ako and I will gladly help."
"Alam kong marami kang iniisip ngayon kaya huminga muna tayo nang malalim at kalmahin natin ang sarili natin. Okay?" Ani Aeign at huminga nang malalim na sinundan naman ni Noah.
Noah really is thankful that Aeign is with him during these times.
When he was being bullied, being called a wimp and a nerd, Aeign was there to help him. She has seen every weakness he had and never did she judge him. Tinanggap lang siya nito bilang kaibigan.
TWO YEARS LATER...
"PASENSIYA na, Mr. Alegre. Kung hindi kayo magbabayad ng reservation fee na three thousand pesos, ibibigay namin ang slot mo sa iba." Saad ng registrar.
Noah is now eighteen. He'll be in his second year in college pero dahil sa financial problems, hindi makapagreserve ng slot si Noah.
His parents said they already took care of it. Ang ina niya ay nangibang bansa para lang kumita nang marami at ang ama naman niya, buong araw namamasada sa jeep para dumami ang pera nila. Pero hindi sapat ang lahat ng iyon.
"Di po ba pwedeng pakiextend ng reservation ko hangang katapusan?" Pakiusap niya.
"Pasensiya na po. Hindi po namin iyon magagawa. Hindi ka namin pwedeng bigyan ng exemption dahil unfair iyon sa iba. Binigyan na namin kayo ng tatlong linggong extension, Mr. Alegre." Paliwanag ng teller.
"Next week, magbabayad na kami. Pakiextend naman hanggang next week lang 'oh." Noah insisted.
The teller sighed heavily. "Sige, next week lang ang kaya kong ibigay sa inyo. Kung hind kayo makakapagbayad next week, ibibigay ko na po slot niyo sa ibang estudyante."
Mariing tumango si Noah. "Salamat, miss." Aniya at umalis ng registrar.
Pagkalabas ng university, saktong tumunog ang phone niya. He slightly cussed when he saw who's calling.
It was Mr. Chua, ang kapitbahay nilang mayaman. May utang kasi silang fifty thousand sa kaniya one year ago at hanggang ngayon, hindi pa nila nababayaran.
Nang maisagot niya ang tawag, isang malakas na sigaw ang narinig niya. "PUT*NGINA, Noah! Ano na? Isang taon na kayong hindi nagbabayad ng pamilya mo sa utang ninyo. Wala pa sa kalahati ang binabayad ninyo. Next week dapat kumpleto na yan kung hindi, idedemanda ko kayo." Call ended.
Napabuga ng marahas na hininga si Noah. Sumasabay pa talaga yang si Mr. Chua.
Wala pang isang minuto mula nang tumawag si Mr. Chua, tumunog ulit ang phone niya. May tunatawag ulit sa kaniya.
Nang tignan niya, hindi registered ang number pero sinagot niya pa rin.
"Hello?"
"Hello, good afternoon, ito po ba si Mr. Noah Alegre?" Tanong ng nasa kabilang linya.
Noah frowned. "Ito nga. Sino ito?"
"This is Nurse Amy from St. Lukes Medical Center. Naaksidente po kasi si Mr. Norman Alegre at kayo po ang nasa 'person to contact in case of emergency' niya."
Noah stilled. "N-Naaksidente ang tatay ko?"
"Opo, Mr. Noah Alegre. Kung maaari ay pumunta na kayo dito dahil malala ang kondisyon niya—"
"Pupunta na ako diyan." Ani Noah at mabilis na kumaripas ng takbo at sumakay ng jeep.
Walang ibang nasa isip niya kung hindi ang amang nasa ospital.
• • •
"Ilang linggo po kasi siyang mananatili rito. Kailangan iscan ang katawan niya kada linggo. Magkano kaya ang ibabayad namin dito?" Tanong ni Noah sa cashier ng ospital.
"Mahigit isang daang libo po, Mr. Alegre. Dadaan sa operasyon ang ama ninyo at dahil na rin sa mga gamit ng ospital na gagamitin niya."
Mahigpit na napasabunot sa buhok si Noah. He's stressed. Hindi niya alam kung saan kukuha ng pera. He can't contact his mother. Ang mga lolo't lola niya ay hindi rin matawagan. Lahat ng kamag-anak ay natawagan niya pero lahat ay tumangging magbigay ng pera.
He can't seem to balance his personal life and education. Manghihiram ba siya ng pera para sa edukasyon niya o para sa pamilya niya?
In order to save his family's debts and his father's hospital bills, he needs to scarifice his education. Pero kung pipiliin niya ang pag-aaral niya, idedemanda sila at baka makulong pa ang mga magulang niya.
He's lost. Confused. Depressed.
His mind is blank. Full of darkness. All he hear is a voice. Telling him to go outside the hospital and stand near the bridge.
He wants to be alone. Kaya lumabas siya saglit at tumayo sa harap ng bridge.
Anong gagawin niya? Kung magtatrabaho siya, hindi parin aabot dahil lahat ng bayarin, due next week at walang magbabantay sa ama niyang nasa ospital.
With tears falling from his eyes, naiiyak na umakyat ng bridge. He doesn't know what he's doing. He doesn't have control of it.
Tanging nakikita niya ang purong kadiliman.
Maybe, maybe if he's gone, the pain will end.
Everything will be back to normal once he's gone....
Tatalon sana si Noah nang may isang malambot na kamay ang humawak sa kaniya. Then his vision changed from darkness, to lightness.
"Don't." The voice softly spoke.
Noah looked back and saw a girl about his age. Makinis ang balat nito at maputi. Parang isang artista.
Hinila siya pababa ng babae. "What do you think you're doing?" Maarte nitong tanong.
"Bakit pinigilan mo ako? Gusto ko nang mamatay..." he uttered and tears streamed down his eyes.
The girl scoffed. "Bakit ka umiiyak?"
Hindi alam ni Noah kung bakit gumagaan ang pakiramdam niya sa kasamang babae. "Ang dami kong problema...Ang dami naming utang. Nahihirapan na ako..gusto ko nang mawala para matapos na 'to."
The girl tsked. "Silly. Have you even thought about your parents? Kung mamamatay ka, masasaktan sila. Ang problema niyo at ang utang niyo, hindi matatapos. See? The pain will never end. Suicide isn't the answer. You just have to face your problems."
Umiling-iling si Noah. "Gusto ko nang mamatay..." he uttered.
Sumandal ang babae sa bar ng bridge. "You don't want to die. You just want the pain to end."
"Hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko. Hindi ko alam kung paano mababayaran ang utang namin."
Humarap sa kaniya ang babae. "You know what you need to do?"
Noah shook his head.
The girl pointed her finger at his chest. "You follow your heart. Do you really want to die? No. Because if you do, your parents will get hurt. The future they're building up for you will be shattered. If you failed to continue living, then they'll think that they also failed as parents."
"You don't have any second chance to live. If you die because of a problem, life won't give you another chance. Life's that kind of a bitch. You need to fight what you're battling on about. Kahit nanghihina ka na at sugatan, continue fighting. It's for the better." She adviced.
"Will everything get better?"
The woman rolled her eyes. "It will, soon. You just have to wait patiently."
"Do you think this'll be over soon?"
The woman once again rolled her eyes. "Ang dami mo namang tanong. Yes, it will be over soon kung babalik ka sa pinanggalingan mo at ilalaban mo ang mga problema mo."
For the first time, Noah smiled. "Thank you. What's your name?"
"Vi—"
"Vivienne! Ikaw ba yan, anak?" Sigaw ng isang boses mula sa malayo.
"Vivienne!" Sigaw nito muli.
Vivienne faced him. "My mom is calling me. See you in few years maybe. Sana buhay ka pa nun." She joked.
Noah laughed. "I will. You just gave me some reason to live. You saved my life, Vivienne."
Vivienne laughed casually. "You're welcome." She said then ran towards her mother.
Si Noah ay naglakad na rin pabalik ng ospital. Vivienne is right. He has to fight this problem if he want this to end.
Vivienne...I'll forever remember you. You saved me from a lifetime of pain.
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