บท 476: Please don't like me
Shinichi had just finished, seeing Rui turn her head expressionlessly, but not like she was angry.
Rui asked, "Are you nervous?"
"For the first time, I feel like having a sister who understands me isn't something to be proud of."
Rui couldn't help but laugh, folded her legs and hugged it, resting her head on her knees.
"Then wouldn't it be better if you didn't think of me as your little sister?"
"Sorry, the attributes are duplicated. There's already a girl who understands me," Shinichi said casually.
"Unless you want to divide it into 'colleagues who understand me', 'young people who understand me', etc., I don't recommend you do this, because the workload may be a bit heavy."
Rui suppressed her smile, and spoke sarcastically.
"Is this an additional explanation to what you just said? Should I applaud and praise you?"
Even though she had prepared for this, Rui was still jealous.
Shinichi smiled helplessly.
"Indeed, if something like this was said by the person concerned, not only the listener, but I myself would also feel uncomfortable."
He stared at the beautiful view of the sea and night before him.
"Isn't he too narcissistic? What virtue does this man have? Why do so many people like bastards like this? Why didn't he immediately find a girlfriend? Why didn't he just reject their affection? Is it because of the spare tire..."
"Have you been told that?" Rui interrupted him, with a look of displeasure on her face, "Is this school?"
Shinichi smiled slightly.
"That is not true. Besides, I still have reputation and power in school, so don't worry."
"That's good... Wait a minute. So, you said those words yourself?"
Seeing Shinichi nod, Rui didn't know what to say.
"Your persecution paranoia is quite serious…"
"This is called looking at yourself objectively." Shinichi showed no expression.
"For me, I just do what I want to do. Whether it is helping them, encouraging them, or working with them, they are all choices I made based on my own ideas, and I don't have any regrets or reflections."
"Similarly, no one can blame them. Like it or not, if all these feelings are born from the heart, then they are real things with nothing to cover up or fake, and they are treasures that must be cherished and collected."
"Then what's the problem? Who made a simple relationship into a multiple choice question where other people will be hurt by whoever you date?"
His palms clenched into fists, a handful of sand felt rough in his palms, and he slowly relaxed them with a soft sigh.
"…In me, and my attitude."
Shinichi looked at Rui.
He actually didn't want to say it. It wasn't easy to tell this idea to other people, especially to a girl who liked him.
Shinichi's pride does not allow him to actively show weakness to anyone.
Perhaps among the people he knew, only Yotsuba could let him show all his weaknesses.
Shinichi had seen too many unsightly places around him, besides his parents where he could safely show his weaknesses.
But emotional problems relate to his sister, and Shinichi is too shy to talk to girls about love.
So now, Shinichi's goal is not to complain to Rui.
Shinichi didn't intend to let Rui know his thoughts in the first place. There are many ways to cheat her.
But...
Rui confessed to him.
Just like Nino, she loudly expresses her feelings for him in a very direct manner.
Facing Rui like this, how could Shinichi escape?
Therefore, no matter how much he gave, he had to return it.
"Simply put, if I was unwilling to offend people, and was blinded by the illusion of popularity, and only responded negatively, things might not have developed like this."
Shinichi put his arms to his sides, closed his eyes and raised his head.
"Inaction is tacit consent, and we are also the perpetrators."
"Perhaps I will say these words to them in the future... But now, Rui, I want you to know that I have another answer to your confession."
Shinichi is unable to reflect the true emotions hidden most deeply.
Rui slightly nodded her head.
"Maybe this is one of the main reasons why I'm trying to get you to wake up..."
Then his serious voice reached Rui's ears clearly.
"Sorry, please don't like me."
Rui opened her eyes wide in confusion.
It was a very indifferent request.
"I'm not a person worthy of being liked. I don't know how to deal with the feeling of 'liking'. I will only make people who like me cry and get hurt. I can not do anything."
That was the feeling of self-blame and confusion that Shinichi had been hiding for a long time.
"I don't want other people to get hurt, I also don't want to be burdened with the feelings of many people, I also don't want to make everyone lose their smile just because they like me. They will always be entangled and uncomfortable, and the relationship will become awkward... I don't know how to repair the emotional hole.
"So, if it's okay..."
Shinichi lowered his gaze, and an inaudible sigh.
"It's okay even if you want to hate me. For your own good, don't fall in love with me."
"I don't deserve it now."
Shinichi once thought what if he wasn't in their lives.
Could such a story contain more smiles and warmth than its existence?
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