บท 59: Confused Emotions
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"You've really changed, Fyre..." Paul said with a chuckle that instantly made Fyre raise his brows. 'I changed?' he thought to himself, a little confused because he honestly didn't feel as though he had changed at all. Nightmares would still hunt him from time to time, and he still did the same things he had done years ago. If the Alpha was talking about him making baking a hobby, then that wasn't really a change. He had always been interested in baking but only had the courage to try it because he had been desperate at that time.
"If you're talking about me baking then I should tell you that I've always been interested in it, but was only able to try it out like 4 years ago," Fyre replied, sounding a little defensive. He didn't believe he had changed, or at least that's what he felt.
"Not just that..." Paul chuckled again. He had been away for 6 years. If there was anyone who could tell if something had changed, then it should be him. "Hey, don't be upset. I'm just telling you because you were never this expressive before. And look at you! You have never worn shorts and t-shirts before. You were always in dark shaded sweats and hoodies. Not to mention, you accepted those vehicles from a friend that wasn't me. You never accepted mine before. Since when did you even have friends? You don't even leave this place." Paul added, pointing out the things that he'd noticed.
As Fyre listened to Paul's words, his eyes widened. With the Alpha addressing the matter, he realized that there have been a lot of things that had changed, not just around his place, but also within him. He really had changed a lot, even though he hadn't noticed it.
"Fine. I did change, a little. But 6 years have already passed... It's only reasonable." Fyre said in defeat, making Paul laugh.
"I like this change though. This way I won't get worried, leaving you behind again." Paul said. Back then when he'd left with a broken heart, he came and met Fyre to tell him that he was going to leave and that he would only come back after a few years. He knew he was the Omega's only friend but he'd still left, thinking of his own situation.
"I told you I'm fine... And look at you as well. Didn't you change too? Smarter I hope," Fyre joked this time around. Paul had never once contacted him over the past years, but he was seeing no change in the Alpha. Maybe aside from him gaining more muscles, he was still very soft-spoken, and that "Mr. Nice Guy" vibe stuck to him like super glue. He was like the kind of person that would help anyone asking for help, even if he knew that he was being taken advantage of—and he is! After all, that was how Daniella Sullen took advantage of him before.
"You know how to joke now too!" Paul snorted. Of course, he had also changed over the past 6 years, but he wouldn't say he'd gotten any smarter. He'd just found it hard to trust anyone ever since Daniella. There was always fear inside him when he met new people. He tried to not let it affect him, but 6 years had passed. And now there was always this voice at the back of his mind, whispering to him that maybe the person in front of him had bad intentions, …because he could never know. Daniella had been very good with hiding her emotions, and he would always find himself believing her lies, …even to the point of hurting Daniel who was nothing but true to him.
He didn't want to tell anyone, but his psychiatrist had told him it was a sign that he had emotional trauma that eventually led him to develop a mild Paranoid Personality Disorder(PPD). There is no medical treatment for it. The only thing that could mitigate the condition was to talk to people and try to trust them.
"I always joke though." Fyre pouted, glaring at the Alpha. To be honest, he genuinely thought that it would be awkward to talk to Paul again after so many years, but he was glad that they were still the same.
"But seriously? How are you?" Fyre added. His expression changed into a more serious one. Six years had passed but he wanted to make sure the Alpha was fine now. When everything had happened, he had been so wrecked that it looked like he wouldn't be able to recover, that is unless he removed himself from the place where it would remind him of his past lover, which is what he did.
"What are you talking about? Of course, I'm fine! Do I look like I'm not?" Paul replied with a forced smile. Years had passed since then but after coming back, it felt like it happened yesterday. It was still painful to think about it. However, it was not like he still loved Daniella. To be honest, it was like he was looking at his past self as someone else, and he couldn't help but feel bad for him. This was how he was currently feeling, but on the outside, it could easily cause a misunderstanding.
"I'm glad if that's the case. So many years have passed after all. Anyway, enough with that talk. I'll just prepare the pie for you." Noticing the change in Paul's expression, Fyre decided it was best to change the topic, and the best way to do that was his pie. After all, it was one of the reasons why the Alpha had come there instead of meeting somewhere else.
Fyre walked to where he'd placed the pie earlier. By now it should have cooled down to the perfect temperature—not too hot, but not too cold either and still very warm, which is what he preferred. Fyre took two slices from the pie and put them on dessert plates. Then he remembered he had leftover vanilla ice cream, so he quickly took two scoops of medium size for each plate, then served one to Paul.
"Still can't believe you're baking now. I'm glad you seem to be doing great." Paul commented after Fyre gave him his share. He inspected the dessert briefly and from the looks of it, it looked like it had been baked by someone who had a lot of experience. The plating and how it was presented made it more appetizing. Not saying anymore, he picked up the fork and took a scoop of both the pie and ice cream and brought it to his mouth. The moment the pastry touched his tongue, he couldn't help but praise the Omega for how it tasted, even though he wasn't much of a dessert or pastry person.
"I'm glad I came today. This tasted like no other I had before." Paul genuinely said, instantly making Fyre blush feeling overwhelmed with the compliment. He mostly only baked for himself, so he didn't receive a lot of compliments. He didn't know it felt this good to be acknowledged, because when Tian Zi had said it, it always felt like it was a tease. But with Paul, he wouldn't lie just for this, so he was very happy.
"Jeez...! Okay, I'll give you another slice later," Fyre joked again, hiding his embarrassment which Paul very much appreciated.
The two continued their talk, catching up with the major happenings of their lives for the past 6 years. Truth be told, they weren't this close before, but they have always felt comfortable sharing their struggles and helping each other. But today, despite the years that they were separated, the friendship they had built since the time they met could not be denied. Fyre naturally trusted Paul without a doubt, while for Paul, aside from his parents, Fyre might be the only person he could truly trust.
Even with Daniel, Paul couldn't stop thinking that maybe the Omega might have hated him and would take revenge, even though he knew full well that Daniel wasn't that kind of person. So right now, with Fyre, it was refreshing to be able to talk like this, with someone other than his family, after so many years.
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After sending Jonathan to the Empire hotel, Tian Zi went back feeling a little bit frustrated. The reason being was because he knew what his fellow Alpha saw Fyre as. He knew that Jonathan liked Fyre, …not as a special friend or a brother he looked after, …but as an opposite gender. He'd learned this 3 years ago after the Alpha himself shared it with him while drunk, like today. He also learned that that day, he and Remi Long were supposed to break up. But the accident happened, …and when he woke up, Remi had died and he didn't have the courage to confess what truly happened to Fyre and be hated by him.
Truthfully, Tian Zi wasn't too shocked when he'd learned this because Jonathan had always been the kind of person who would easily fall in and out of love, but what he didn't expect was that this feeling had lasted even until now. Although Jonathan had promised he would never touch Fyre and would just happily and silently love him from afar, seeing him on top of Fyre earlier took him by surprise, …to the point that it felt like his heart was going to burst. He thought for sure that the two were doing something they shouldn't. But even when he confirmed that his thoughts were wrong, he continued to feel frustrated and upset about it.
He didn't even understand why he felt this way, …and he just hated that Fyre let it happen, when if it was him, the Omega would immediately push him away. There had been a lot of instances when he just wanted his Alpha instincts to run wild. It was wrong of him to think this way and he wanted to punch himself for it, but it happened one time and Fyre strongly pushed him away, even to the point of crying! Thankfully nothing happened and since then, he had tried his best to control himself even more.
Of course, it didn't take a genius for him to figure out what these feelings might be, especially with what he saw earlier, but what he didn't understand was, …why Fyre? It wasn't like the Omega was his type. Well, he didn't have a particular type and he was stubborn about not having a partner, but Fyre was his friend and it was frustrating for him to think that he was feeling this way towards him—towards a friend. He tried to stop it, denied it, but every time… he couldn't stop himself from caring. But alas, it didn't feel like a relationship between them was possible. He couldn't imagine it despite his confused emotions.
Arriving at his house with all of these thoughts in his mind, Tian Zi parked his vehicle. He hadn't even realized he'd arrived because he was too preoccupied. Realizing now, he was a little surprised he got back safely.
Not leaving his car just yet, Tian Zi stared at his steering wheel and sighed before fishing his cellphone out of his pocket. He didn't have to find anything because one tap was enough to find the number he was looking for, …and it was Fyre's number. The Omega looked upset earlier at the mention of his sister, so Tian Zi wanted to talk to him. But then again, he felt like he would only annoy the Omega if he called just for this.
"Hahh! Why do I have to feel this way?" Tian Zi mumbled to himself after a deep sigh with his head leaning on the steering wheel. And in the end, he couldn't help but press the call button. He just wanted to hear Fyre's voice and make sure that he was okay, …and that's it. Unfortunately, what he hadn't expected was another person accepting his call. Tian Zi instantly pulled his phone away from his ear, gawking at his screen and making sure he was calling the right person. It was indeed Fyre's number, but it wasn't Fyre who'd answered it!
[What is it?] Fyre asked this time, taking over the phone from Paul. He had been washing the dishes so he had asked Paul to receive the call for him when he saw it was Tian Zi calling, thinking it might be important. On the other end of the line, …the Alpha wasn't even listening to the question. His eyes just went wild, …along with his mind.
"Who was that? The one who picked up just now? Where are you?" Tian Zi asked, unable to maintain his composure.
[A friend of mine. Anyway, what do you want? I'm kinda busy...] Fyre asked with a frown.
"Are you in trouble? Should I come and pick you up?" Tian Zi said and again, not listening to what the Omega had just said.
[I'm at my house and don't fucking come here. What did you call me for?? I thought it was important.] Fyre said annoyed but still very patient not to burst into anger.
"...I-I just called to make sure you're okay… with earliers..." Tian Zi replied after a long silence. His mind couldn't comprehend the fact that there was a man—a man he didn't know!—at Fyre's house right now.
[Oh. I'm fine. Thanks for asking. But I really need to go. I have a guest today... I'll just come and visit you sometime.] Fyre replied. A little blush appeared on his flawless cheeks before it quickly went away.
"Okay. See you." Tian Zi had no choice but to reply, but deep inside he wanted to come and see this guest. With the phone call disconnected, Tian Zi remained frozen, staring at an empty space while his mind began to think of various things.
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To be Continued...
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