บท 42: Chapter 40: Gifts For Both
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SOOMPI
@soompi
Yesterday at the red carpet of Just A Fling's premiere, writer Park Jimin was spotted pregnant alongside fellow co-worker and ex-boyfriend actor Jeon Jungkook. Fans are suspecting Jeon Jungkook as the other father. For more info: https://www.soompi.com/fgHT-0129/JjTYp/pr3GnT
____________________________
SOOMPI
@soompi
Actor Jeon Jungkook announced yesterday at the premiere of his latest film Just A Fling that his military enlistment will begin August 27! Fans are devastated. For more info: https://www.soompi.com/jU7k1-2/mij157-7/gkYzQ8
✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧
Me-Ji sniffled and passed her delicate hands through Jungkook's scalp. She always hated this part. "I hate this." Jungkook nodded at her opinion, his lips quievered. "If I could, I'd shave my head as well but I have a trial tomorrow at noon and I need to look presentable." The honesty in her words were enough to lift the male's spirit.
"It's the thought that counts." The actor watched as she retracted her hands from his shaved head. In his own reflection, he seemed different. Throughout all his life, his hair was longer than average. He clearly remembered when his mother signed him and called him 'My little Coconut' in her whispers. Now, all he had above his head was almost nothing.
"Do they still hurt? The skin should be healed already." Me-Ji retracted her hand from the male's scalp and began to trace his right forearm. There was something new against his skin, there was a delicate touch to it. Symbols of many emotions and art of love decorated the skin. "No, they don't itch anymore. The swelling stopped two days ago."
"You're still not going to tell me the meanings are you?" She chuckled and rolled her eyes, but ended up pouting. "I want Jimin to be the first one to know. These are all reminders of my faults but also my motivation to continue. I'll only tell you this one." Jungkook wore a red t-shirt and he rolled the short sleeves up to reveal his shoulder. There was a puzzle beautifully carved on his arm fron his knuckles to his shoulder, and with his left hand, he pointed at the words written in dark ink against his forearm.
"Rather be dead than cool." Jungkook started and his lips automatically curved in a longing smile. "Only that." Me-Ji nodded and paid close attention to what the actor was going to say.
"I have a motto that I haven't upholded the last few years. I would rather die than live without passion. But this year I realized that I have a passion, his name is Jimin." Jungkook smiled and traced the letters carved against his skin with tenderness. The meaning behind each tattoo was so special to him, it was now a physicial and emotional part of him. "That's beautiful. I'm sure Jimin would be touched by it. Will you do any more of them? You have at least a full forearm and elbow, four knuckles, three fingers and two over the shoulder." She asked while pointing out the different paintings of ink carved against the actor's soft skin, a wonderful canvas.
"If Jimin forgives me, I want to add the date he forgives me in numbers, and the date our son is born." Jungkook confessed and traced in outline the skin under his right thumb. "Let's hope for the best then." Me-Ji was the older sister he never had. She was so caring towards him, she never crossed a line, she'd always been there for him since the day they first met. To him, she was his guide, older sister, friend, and advisor. For her to be so supportive was one of the reasons why he was right now carving the path that led to forgiveness.
"You have to pick up Ae-Cha right?" Jungkook spoke after a few minutes of silence and received a nod. "Go, I'll be fine. I have something to do today before I leave tomorrow." Jungkook began pushing her out of his new apartment. He had moved and started fresh in a smaller apartment to save up money since leaving for the military would not help him in gaining money. Although Just A Fling was gaining profit, fast, he also needed to continue sending money to Jimin for child support, etc. Plus, he liked how his apartment was more cozy for himself. It had three bedrooms instead of six, three bathrooms, but sadly, he didn't have his own gym like before; but that didn't stop him from jogging at least 4 to 5 miles every morning instead.
"I'm leaving! No need to throw me out! Such a disrespectful brat." She playfully shoved him back while laughing and pressed her GUCCI sunglasses back against her nose. "Don't go and do something crazy before you leave. Give him time." Suspecting the male was going to do something related to Jimin, she warned him in her older sister voice. "I know. I'm going to buy something. Bye! See you tomorrow morning." Tomorrow was the day he'd leave and Me-Ji for now was the only one who was going to see him off.
The time seemed to pass by quickly for the rest of the day for him. He went to the mall and bought a few items, a reason behind every single item he bought. Luckily, those who recognized him respected his privacy when he walked through the mall with a few shopping bags in hand, most of them specifically from a brand he'd never shopped at before.
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Jimin was busy reading a book about first parenthood, the words were fascinating him and sticking for his brain to remember. He wore a white tank top, the words 𝔽ℝ𝔼𝔼𝔻𝕆𝕄 spelled in black over the chest, and black boxer briefs. He was alone inside his apartment not expecting company any time soon.
Startling him from his journey of reading about the different formulas a baby could be fed, he flinched. His loud ringtone always seemed to give him mini heart attacks. It was about time he changed Baby Shark to something else.
The contact name was someone unexpected. His heart sped up and his hands automatically closed the book more harshly than he had intended to. A breath left his nostrils before he clicked the red button of ignore. If it's important, he would call more than once. Jimin knew that.
And he was correct. The same contact called again and to his annoyance, the loud ringtone buzzed like there was no tomorrow.
"What do you want?" Jimin answered the call and forced his voice to sound harsher than usual.
"Hello Jimin hyung, I need to give you something. Are you free right now?" Jungkook's voice filled his ears like an autumn string concert. The last time they spoke was during the premiere of Just A Fling, and it already felt like years since then. He wanted to say no as the answer to the question, but then why did he answer the call if he was going to refuse the actor's request?
"Depends. Does it have to be today?" The writer was stubborn and playing hard to get was part of his resolution. He himself had said he wouldn't easily forgive the male, and that also meant in his current actions. Giving in to kindness was going to be hard, but he'd do it; he'd hold himself back.
"It's important. Please, today's the last free day I have." Jimin automatically rose from the couch and ran to the kitchen where he had his calendar displayed -carefully-. His grip on the phone tightened when the date displayed was August 26.
"Fine... Come to my apartment." Jungkook's lips formed a smile and his eyes wrinkled. "I'll be there in a few minutes."
While waiting for the actor, the writer dressed up in FILA sweatpants instead of just wearing his boxers briefs although the temperature wasn't the coolest. The anticipation for the meeting had him wanting to bite his nails. This meeting could be the last one they'd have for a very long time.
The moment the doorbell ringed, Jimin instantly walked towards it while holding his lower back with his left arm. The baby bump continued growing with each week closer to the due date and that meant the weight slowly increased.
Before opening the door, he paused and closed his eyes. "He's changing. Nothing bad is going to happen." He whispered to himself as the encouragement to finally open the door. The door opened and he was instantly greeted by the actor's cologne like the first spring breeze at the end of winter. Jungkook wasn't physically the same as the last time they met at the premiere.
The actor wore a black cap with two silver hoops attached to it at the front and it shocked Jimin to see the undercut on his head, even with the black mask. Aside from the cap, he wore a long sleeved white-caramel-pink stripped shirt nicely tucked inside a pair of ripped denim jeans, and his high black boots. Jimin also took note of the shopping bags he was carrying on both hands.
"Hyung," Jungkook greeted him and bowed his head fast to be polite.
"Come in." Jimin bit his lip nervously and let the male inside his apartment for the first time in so long. The actor gulped and carefully dropped the bags on the floor so he would be able to take his boots off.
"Make it fast." Jimin maintained a good distance from him by walking towards the couch in order to rest his back and legs. "First, how have you been?" That was one of the only questions Jungkook always wanted know since they didn't talk anymore, and every time they met, he asked it. "Tired." Jimin didn't reply with a full sentence not wanting to expand time of the visit.
"Does he let you sleep at night?" Jungkook approached the writer with the shopping bags in hand, already rid of the black boots. "Not all the time. He's majorly kicking between three and four am." The writer's usual habit to caress the bump made an appearance.
"I'm sorry." Jungkook felt responsible for it; the reason why the writer was tired all the time now, why his life changed. Jimin hummed and watched as Jungkook took off the cap with his right hand. In his vision, there was something completely new and different from before.
Jimin's right hand immediately rose to cover his lips when Jungkook took off his cap. The raven locks he loved were gone. He wanted to touch the actor's head and pass his fingers through the shaved hair, but he knew better than that. And his eyes soon followed how the actor's right hand where there were tattoos on it. But he didn't ask, it wasn't his business, besides, from where he was the tattoos were a little blurry.
"I know, I'm almost bald." Jungkook nervously chuckled and picked up a bag.
"I bought this one for you. Since I don't know whether I'll have a day off around October, I got this beforehand. Happy-Early-Birthday." He gave Jimin a white shopping bag from a brand called Isabel Marant. Jimin furrowed his eyebrows and bit the inside of his lips; his trust issues towards the actor were vivid. Carefully inspecting the inside of the bag, Jimin pulled out one sweater from inside it. It was a long sleeved sweater with a white-purple combination. "It's pretty." He mumbled and looked inside the bag for the other sweater, it was the same one but with a white-blue combination instead.
"Thank you." Jimin folded the two sweaters and placed them inside the bag. He cautiously observed the actor's eyes but couldn't see any ill intentions behind them; those eyes where he could continue to see their own galaxy.
Jungkook nodded with a closed smile. He still kept a fair distance from the writer to respect his space. "I also got you a coat for when winter comes. I know you have a lot, but I wanted to buy you one." He pulled another bag and gave it to the male. Words weren't need to be said for now, the actor understood that when Jimin accepted the bag and examined the insides.
"And," Jungkook picked up another bag, the brand completely unknown to him. He looked at the insides and smiled, the type of smile that hid pain behind it. "I bought heat pads for when our son is born, t-there are a three pacifiers and two cotton blankets to warm him up." Jimin raised his face to look into the actor's eyes. He did not expect him to buy those necessity items for the baby. His hands trembled when he peaked inside the bag the actor gave him. His eyes teared up but he refused to cry when his eyes scanned the items, there was a yellow blanket amongst everything. Did Jungkook still remember his favorite color?
"I don't know if I'll get the chance to be there when he's born, but this one has about eight newborn onesies that stretch until he'll be five months old." Jungkook's lip quievered when he picked up another bag with his right hand, as he was about to give it to Jimin, the said male stood up from the couch. The sentimental feeling of everything was getting to both of them, especially Jungkook now that he could lower his walls; the same Jungkook Jimin fell in love with.
"I'm going to the bathroom, excuse me." Jimin didn't spare him a glance and left the male standing alone in his living room. Jungkook watched as he left with worried eyes wanting to go after him, but he stood still with the bag in hand.
As soon as Jimin left the living room, Jungkook sat down on the couch and carefully placed the bag on the floor. He closed his eyes and leaned his elbows forward on his knees to let the palm of his hands cover his face. He wasn't crying, but clearing his head of dangerous thoughts trying to invade his mind.
"I need some water." He mumbled after a few seconds and turned his head to the kitchen where his eyes froze staring at the fridge.
Inside the locked bathroom of his locked bedroom, Jimin leaned his head down to face the rolling water on the sink. His hands gripped onto the counter tightly and his bottom lip was bit by his upper teeth. The sound of the water began to relax him, but it didn't help stop how innocent tears rolled down his cheeks.
"He's trying to change for you Aegi, but I don't want to fall for any games. I'm tired of it..." He whispered and splashed the cold water against his face to cool himself down.
When Jimin returned to the living room after a few minutes, he didn't see Jungkook standing by the couch, instead he saw him standing in front of the fridge staring at it. He knew what the actor was staring at. All the ultrasound pictures were glued to it with magnets. The actor's actions made him anxious because he thought Jungkook would say the words he feared to hear the most. But those words never came.
"Can you explain them?" Jungkook asked him, completely sensing his presence the moment he'd walked to the living room. "Why? I told you you weren't invited to any of them. You don't need to k-" Jungkook involuntarily scoffed.
"Exactly. I wasn't invited. But I still want to know." He was slowly calming down while looking at the pictures, the urge to take a picture of each was winning over him. Jimin shut his lips and fisted his knuckles to control his raging hormones. So he inhaled and exhaled while caressing his bump.
"March, four weeks; April, ten weeks; May, fifteen weeks; June, twenty weeks; July, twenty-five weeks; August, thirty weeks." The writer pointed at each picture. His proximity to the actor decreased, and Jungkook nodded with each time he explained the pictures.
"When did you find out about the gender?" Jimin pointed at the ultrasound picture of July and Jungkook's right hand hovered over the said picture. He traced it with his fingers, eyes analyzing it.
Jimin's heart skipped a beat when he took notice of the actor's hand. He could clearly see the tattoos on the skin, there were letters, symbols, but what caught his attention were the letters on each of his knuckles. He furrowed his eyebrows as he slowly backed away. There was a letter J tattooed on the male's right ring finger, and if he looked down, there was an M. He wasn't stupid, but he didn't want to assume that Jungkook tattooed his inicials on his ring finger. The actor wouldn't, would he?
"Can I... take a picture of them?" Jungkook always asked Jimin before doing anything now. Frankly, it made the writer feel warm inside because the actor was taking his opinion into account, and was respecting his decisions.
Silently, the writer nodded slowly before he walked back to the couch and sat while the actor took pictures of each ultrasound with his phone. When Jungkook returned with his heavy heart, he picked up the same bag he had before the writer left and gave it to him. "Jungkook, I'm going to be honest with you." Jimin accepted the bag but instead of looking inside, he placed it beside the others Jungkook had given him.
The actor stopped moving, his eyes focused on the writer's waiting for his words that could continue tearing his heart or mend it. "Buying us gifts won't change anything." Jimin spoke the truth. Materialism won't bring love and forgiveness to the actor, or to anyone who was in their right mind. "I know that. I just want both of you to be comfortable. I bought each with both of you in mind, so count the thought of it. And I bought everything because I wanted to. These..." Jungkook paused as he picked up another bag. A longing smile hovered over his lips again.
"I bought these stretchable onesies for his first birthday." Jimin's body stiffened. His heart was doing jumps again, but he didn't show it. "There are ten of them, cotton made for his skin. I had a hard time choosing which... I'm not very good at it." The bag's insides were full of onesies, each were cute and so pretty in the writer's eyes. Jungkook was really trying, so fucking hard.
"For his second birthday, I bought some hats, small boots that I hope will fit his little feet, a few shirts and small jeans. I was given help when choosing for the size, so I'm hoping they all fit him when the time comes." Another bag was handed and Jimin accepted it still without making eye contact with him. The urge to cry was strong, but as he had done since the beginning, he held back.
"Thank you." Jimin held the bump with his left hand while placing the other bag on the floor beside the others. There was only one bag left, and he was curious of its contents. "And this last bag is for you." Jungkook felt his hands grace against Jimin's when handing it to him. It wasn't a shopping bag, that one was a bag that had a notebook inside it.
"What is it?" Jimin asked with curious eyes, but his tone was normal like before. He studied the outline of the notebook when the actor confessed its meaning.
"My therapist told me to write a diary of my feelings towards you. He said it would help in controlling my sexual urges and in understanding what my heart felt. I want you to have it. You don't need to read it if you don't want to, but just keep it." Every month was hard for them both, especially for the actor when challenging himself to change; there was proof of his struggles right there in that journal. He wanted Jimin to know all the unspoken words he had felt but wasn't able to say.
"Can I ask you something?" Jimin asked after accepting all Jungkook had to give him. He was about to ask something that had his mind running in circles since the moment the actor took off his cap. When Jungkook nodded, he pointed to his hand.
"Are those my initials?" Jimin pointed at the tattoo on Jungkook's right ring finger and knuckle.
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