บท 196: Life in the Greyrat Household
What was the quote? "The passage of time depends entirely on where you're standing."
Relativity Theory... it's romantic, but also tragic.
Boring days seemed to stretch on for eternity, while we couldn't catch the happiness we achieved even if we tried.
And in that manner, time flew by in the blink of an eye as I settled into my new daily schedule.
First of all, date nights.
Because I was married to four lovely wives, I couldn't very well spend time with each of them every day.
There were seven days in a week, but I had four wives. As expected, the math didn't line up.
Thankfully, Rika made the noble sacrifice of giving a day up for my other wives.
Because of that, we had:
Monday and Tuesday - Eri.
Wednesday and Thursday - Sylphy.
Friday and Saturday - Roxy.
Sunday - Rika.
...Well, those weren't the actual days of the week since they apparently weren't named, but I organized it like that in my head.
Anyway, the usual day went like this.
Me and my wives (minus Rika who was usually busy) had breakfast together, and then we all went about our own business during the day until lunch.
At lunch, I met with whichever wife had reserved me for the day before returning to my work as a professor at the academy.
After that, we had dinner with my sisters and whatever other guests showed up for the day.
And then in the evening... Well.
I managed to restrain myself after chanting Buddhist sutras, but it turned out being pregnant made a woman hornier.
Well, at least for my wives.
There were many days I had to not so subtly knock them out with a sleep spell for their own safety.
ESPECIALLY the nights where my wives decided to team up on me.
It was usually Sylphy roping in Eri, but it seemed like my wives had formed a secret coalition behind my back and got along better than I thought...
Anyway, that about summed up my married life.
It was a typical 9 to 5 job, with some lovely wholesome romance scenes during the day and then X-rated content at night.
In terms of living situations and other things...
I installed a few empty doorframes in our house and put in some Anywhere doors to hook up to Arcadia and our other houses. They were keyed to the main owners, so for example the house that Eri and I owned in Arcadia could only be accessed by either of us.
There was also one for Rika, hooked up to the master bedroom so that she could pop by whenever she wanted.
School was picking up, so Aisha and Norn spent most of the time at the Academy. The various professors that I scared off finally gathered their wits and came back, so the students were finally busy.
And of course it was met with heavy resistance and protests, but I was also getting bored with the teaching schtick, so it worked out.
Stella had also enrolled at the academy as well and got placed in a special class with a bunch of special privileges.
She was proud of it since she thought it was because she was talented.
In truth, it was because me and my parents agreed that Stella would probably run off and do something reckless if she was bored, so we arranged it for her to study and research instead.
That way, she wasn't doing something like sneaking off to the Central Continent to revolt against the corrupt nobles after gathering up an army from the Great Forest and marching them down to invade.
My cute baby sister took a bit too much after me, you see, so we had to make sure about that.
Speaking of the Great Forest, apparently, Stella's friends Mini and Sena had older sisters at the academy.
I hadn't met them, but they were apparently named Linia and Pursena.
They had also been immediately converted as Stella's lackies after they saw Leo.
And speaking of friends...
Norn's rivals, Nina and Isolte, had managed to find their way over to the academy on special admission to the Magic Swordsmen department.
...Headed up by Eri and Sylphy.
It's not nepotism if they're already overqualified, okay?
But anyway, apparently those three were infamous in the academy for daily duels and starting to build up their own factions.
My poor responsible sister Aisha was forced to deal with everything as the student council president... Though it helped that Miko had joined it as vice president.
Paired with her mind-reading powers, the academy was barely kept under control.
It seemed like they were having fun though.
Almost made me wish I could join as a student again and just troll the teachers and my classmates.
But alas, I was a responsible working adult.
And also part of said staff.
The sacrifices we make growing up...
Eos and Roland were back in Arcadia.
Due the fact that both of my kids held key positions in the bureaucracy there, what with Eos being head of the Survey Corps and Roland being captain of the White Knights, they couldn't hang around Sharia too much.
As for Ena...
Well, she *said* she was interested in the research project Cliff was doing in Milishion about creating a <Divine Domain> through the development of faith and vision.
Personally, I thought that she was just finally warming up to the guy, but we'd see.
Cliff was a bit awkward, but I could at least count on him to like Ena for Ena instead of her objectively beautiful and attractive body.
And I say 'objectively' because I had seen the pervs staring at her when she was out and about despite completely covering up in conservative clothing.
Dad had revived <Fangs of the Black Wolf> and expanded it out to a small guild. Mom, Mama Lily, Laws, and Rose had joined and spent the days exploring nearby dungeons.
They had even recruited a few newbies, like a magician and swordsman pair of sisters, a former prince who hid his face with a mask and barely talked, and a young man who apparently said he wanted to try picking up chicks in dungeons.
I was doubtful about the last guy, but apparently Dad did that all the time, so...
Anyway.
Akito had recently finished researching a secret task I gave him, so he was on standby at the academy now and basically the assigned babysitter for Stella.
Rostelina managed a cafe and took care of her daughter Lunaria... who I still had to meet.
Maybe I'd grab an early breakfast there one of these days.
But anyway, Rostelina did that while Pierre did... something most of the day and returned in the evening.
Aunt Therese was shellshocked at her blasphemous nephew (me) and ran back to Milishion.
Orsted was 'cleaning house' as he put it back in the Asura Kingdom, but he said he'd be back by the year's end.
Princess Ariel was scheduled to attend the academy starting next semester with her attendants...
And that was pretty much it.
As for me...
-RNG-
"You seem distracted today, Rudy." Eri frowned and said, "Is something wrong at work?"
I blinked and then remembered where I was.
It was lunch time on a Monday. Four months had passed since the whirlwind weddings, and it was already the start of winter.
Today, I was having lunch with Eri. Usually, Sylphy at least dropped by, but she was busy helping Rostelina today at the cafe due to a sudden influx of customers.
My lovely first wife was bit different these days. Maybe it was the grace of motherhood, or maybe it was dealing with students, but Eri was definitely softer these days.
She had changed her hairstyle from her usual long hair to a tidy braided ponytail. She had also changed her clothes, wearing a loose blouse and dress combo that hugged her baby bump instead of her usual combat-ready shirt and pants.
I smiled and then said, "Sorry. I was caught off guard by how lovely you are."
Eri rolled her eyes. "Eat your food, silly."
I chuckled and then looked down at my food.
Since we were working, I just made us some quick sandwiches with roasted pork, some mayo, lettuce, tomatoes, and a bit of crispy bacon for texture.
I picked up my sandwich and took a bite.
…Yep. Just as good as I thought it'd be.
But when Eri took a bite…
"Ugh." Eri grimaced and held her hand up to her mouth.
I frowned. "What's wrong with the food?"
Eri shook her head and then grabbed a napkin, spitting it out. After that, she sighed and said, "Sorry, Rudy. It's not your cooking. It's just..." She frowned and said, "Everything tastes bitter and sour."
I took the sandwich away from her and said, "That's fine. I guess we've just confirmed that you have to eat boring food for a while." As I said that, I conjured up a bowl of plain oatmeal with some sliced bananas and strawberries for flavor. After plopping a spoon down as well, I slid it over.
Eri sighed and scooped up a bit of oatmeal, watching as it plopped back down to the bowl. "I really hate how Sylphy and Roxy can just... deal with it. They HAVE to be tasting things like I do right now. Right?"
I started eating Eri's sandwich and said, "To their credit, Sylphy's had much, much worse in her time as an adventurer. And as for Roxy... I think she just shovels it down. She eats when working, so she probably doesn't even taste what's going down her throat."
Pause.
Eri begrudgingly started eating her oatmeal. As she did, she looked up at me and said, "Can't you magic up something for me to eat that will just taste good? You're already making food from thin air."
"I could. But as with all things, what you think is good isn't actually good for you." I gestured towards the oatmeal and said, "This tastes icky, but it's healthy. In contrast, your favorite ice cream tastes great, but will go right to your thighs."
"Well." Eri paused and then said, "That's a sacrifice I'm willing to make. And you like them bigger too, don't you Rudy?"
"No comment. But also, I'd rather not run the risk of hurting our kids somehow by feeding you junk food. As much as I know you want it."
Eri let out a deep sigh. "Dammit. If I knew getting pregnant would make me hate eating good food, I'd never have agreed to have kids."
"...You're exaggerating, right?"
"A little." Eri paused. "But I'll let you know how I feel after I give birth to these two brats." She rested her left hand over her belly and then forced down another spoonful of oatmeal. "Ungrateful kids. Making me this hungry but making me hate good food... You two had better hope you're cute."
I laughed.
Eri pointed her spoon at me and glared. "You too, Mister. You're the one who did this to me, you monster."
I played innocent and said, "You asked for it?"
"Because I didn't know better! Dammit!" She shoveled a big mouthful of oatmeal in her mouth and then swallowed. After that, she let out a sigh and said, "Mom was right. Being a mother sucks until the kid is born."
"Sorry."
Eri clicked her tongue. "You'd better be. I wanna be spoiled later, okay?"
"Of course."
"Hmph." After that, Eri went back to forcing down the oatmeal. She grimaced with every bite, but powered on like a trooper.
I made a few more bowls just in case she was still hungry and then went back to eating my sandwiches.
A comfortable silence fell in the room. But after Eri finished her bowl of oatmeal, she wiped her mouth with a napkin and said, "Did you hear anything recently from either Orsted or Pierre?"
I grabbed a napkin as well and started wiping my hands. "No. I think 'that guy' is still plotting."
Eri frowned. "That's making me worried... Do you really think he's going to try something when our kids are born?"
"Oh, he definitely will." I narrowed my eyes and said, "But I'm ready this time."
I had a binder full of trump cards ready to go, as well as a few out of the box solutions ready to flip the table over too.
While I wouldn't say I was ready for EVERY scenario... I could confidently say that I could force those number of scenarios down to the few I could perfectly counter.
Of course, I wouldn't be spilling the beans on how just yet.
Trump cards are better when even the user doesn't expect to have to use them.
Eri reached out and then grabbed my hand. Looking into my eyes, she said, "Don't go overboard and hurt yourself, okay? You don't just have yourself to worry about now, remember?"
I smiled and wrapped my other hand around hers. "I know, Eri."
She smiled and then leaned forward to give me a quick peck on the lips.
I raised an eyebrow and said, "Feeling bold today, are we?"
Eri blushed and then said, "W-Well... I don't get the chance to do it very often..."
I smiled and then leaned forward to kiss her back.
Eri's blush deepened and then she leaned back. "Stop that. No favorites, remember?"
"It's not playing favorites. It's living in the moment and loving my beautiful wife."
Eri scoffed and said, "This is why we worry about you hanging around beautiful woman, you know? And also why Sylphy keeps threatening to murder Princess Ariel when she gets close to you."
I laughed and said, "Don't worry. Four beautiful wives are all a man like me could want, ask for, and support."
Eri nodded. "Yes. And we all get along with each other very well, so don't piss us off unless you want to make your life a living hell."
"I've learned from Dad, so don't worry, Eri."
"That's EXACTLY what I'm worried about, Rudy..."
I laughed.
At that time, there was a knock at the door.
I frowned and looked towards it.
Weird. I wasn't expecting any visitors. And people knew better than to interrupt my lunchtime with my wives...
I shifted my vision and used Clairvoyance to see who it was.
And it was a familiar face. Cliff.
...But his expression definitely wasn't familiar.
Contrary to his usual bright and confident demeanor, he looked solemn and more than a bit depressed.
Eri glanced at the door and then looked at me. "Are we expecting any visitors, Rudy?
"No." I shook my head. "But it looks like we have a guest. Come in, Cliff."
The door opened and Cliff walked in. He met my gaze and then bowed his head. "I apologize for the intrusion, Father-in-law. And to you as well, Mother-in-law."
Eri twitched. "Could you... NOT call me that? Eri is fine."
Cliff raised his head. "Lady Eri, then."
I conjured a seat for him and then said, "Relax a bit. You seem like you've had better days."
Now that he was inside, Cliff looked worse than I thought. His usually orderly bangs were frazzled and frayed. He had heavy bags under his eyes. And even his usually pristine white robes were stained with grime.
...Just what the heck happened?
Cliff shook his head. "I cannot." He looked into my eyes and said, "Not after what I allowed to transpire."
Eri frowned.
I dropped the smile from my face and narrowed my eyes. "...What happened?"
Cliff hesitated.
"Cliff."
He ran his left hand through his hair and let out a deep and frustrated sigh. After that, he said, "Ena is missing."
Eri's eyes widened. "What? How?!"
Cliff shook his head, pursing his lips.
As for me...
...Well. It seems like Being W is using the world to play tricks on me now, huh?
This timing, these events...
No. I could think about it later.
For now...
"Explain."
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