บท 48: Spandam's Office
Tenshi walked around the Tower, making Coffee clones to help. They spread out and Tenshi continued walking with Mocha, scratching her head. He smiled happily, saying "Mocha, there's lots of fish here. All kinds of fish, even fish people!" Mocha was dumbfounded, fish people?
She thought of a fish person with arms and legs but a fish head and body.
Mocha was a little confused.
How can you eat such a thing?
This wasn't good!
Tenshi didn't see her thought bubble and continued walking, coming to a room with Zoro and Kaku. He paused before turning around, muttering "Oh… Don't mind me…"
He continued walking around, seeing Nami and Kalifa. He stayed and watched for a bit before leaving.
This was fun!
But he felt a bit useless, standing around here. The unfortunate part was that they didn't need his help! So Tenshi was in an awkward spot. He continued stealing things from the Tower, coming to Spandam's office.
He searched around before finding a book.
He opened it and was stunned, why was there a nudie magazine here?!
He continued flipping through the pages, turning it as the pages unfolded. Tenshi was dazed, those were some big bazonkas! He smiled to himself, he knew One Piece was awesome!
He kept the nudie magazine before continuing his search.
He opened a box and expected a devil fruit like in those fanfics, turns out…
The box was empty.
Tenshi pouted and tossed the box aside, hearing a crack.
He gasped and turned around, pulling open a cracked tile to see another box!
Tenshi rubbed his palms, this was it! His big break! Just like the stories!
He quickly opened the box to find…
More Nudie Magazines!
Tenshi wanted to cry!
Everyone else tripped over a sentient sword, a six armed monkey, a sun logia devil fruit, and he only found nudie magazines! How was this fair?!
Needless to say, he kept them all!
You know, these books were made of paper and leaving paper on the ground is littering! How could Tenshi litter like this? He took the magazines to dispose of them later…
Meanwhile he tossed the box to the side, leaving it on the ground as he pulled open the drawers on the desk.
He finally found something…
'Spandam's Secret Diary'
His lips twitched and read aloud, "Don't read if you're not Spandam…" Tenshi held the book in a daze…
Did this guy think that would stop anyone from reading his diary?
He opened it and read the first page.
'Today, I became the Chief of CP9! So cool! My dreams have come true! There's even a beautiful woman…'
A bunch of nonsense…
'She rejected me! Wuwuwuwuwu… I can't believe it, I was even so nice!'
Tenshi furrowed his brows and closed the book, he was getting dumber reading this. This guy was a typical cliche 'nice guy'... This is the worst way to pick up women! You needed to show your worth!
He kept the book to embarrass Spandam later, maybe it would help in their escape… Or he could just give it to Kalifa. As a gentleman, this book was too creepy to not let her know.
Then she would feel grateful, quit her assassination job, and become an employee!
Tenshi snorted with a smug smile, "Sometimes my genius is frightening…" he stole whatever seemed valuable and left the office, walking down the stairs.
Suddenly!
Chopper in his Monster Point smashed through the wall holding Kumadori. Tenshi was dumbfounded, he was almost crushed! He pressed out his hand and blasted a pillar of coffee at him, pushing him backwards to the ground.
Tenshi nodded and walked around him, going somewhere else.
He was really wondering when the Buster Call would happen, you know he only came for this. These loots were just the cherry on top. Maybe if he saved the Straw Hats everyone would love him and build him a ship for free!
Then he could snatch Robin to his coffee shop! Then kidnap Nami too.
Heh!
Tenshi didn't think anyone would be able to resist such a temptation! They would HAVE to come and have coffee!
It was simple math.
Beautiful women= Money!
Speaking of beautiful women…
Tenshi rubbed his chin and sat down on some rubble as Jabra flew over his head, smashing into the ground, unconscious.
He was thinking of recruiting the old Baroque Works guys.
You know Ms Doublefinger ran a cafe!
How could he allow such a competitor? It was impossible.
He clapped his hands as Mocha laid on his shoulder, that's it! He was going to whisk her away and teach her what real coffee was! Running a cafe while he was around… Was that a joke?!
Sanji walked over and smoked, "Hey you!" Tenshi looked up and smiled gently, "Hello!" Sanji frowned, "Who are you really?" Tenshi smiled and replied "I'm Tenshi. I own a Cafe… But as of right now, I don't have a boat. I wanted to make a Seafaring Cafe…" then he sighed sadly, "But Icebro won't make me a ship for free and I'm poor."
Sanji's lips twitched, "You want to make a Seafaring cafe? Like the Baratie?" Tenshi nodded happily, "Yep! Just like the Baratie… but mostly for coffee. When we get back to Water 7, I'll have to make you some… Even people who loved tea turned to my coffee!"
Sanji looked sarcastic, "Sure…" Tenshi frowned at him, "Are you… Insinuating that your garbage coffee making skills can actually compare to a single iota of mine? You think that just because you can cook you're better at making coffee than me? You must be fucking dreaming. I will crush you!"
Sanji sneered "Hehe… You think so, ladyboy? I will ground you!" Tenshi stood up and they collided foreheads, shouting "WITH YOUR TRASH SKILLS, EYEBROWS?! GIVE ME A BREAK! OHO! LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE MESSING UP YOUR MAKEUP, FEMBOY!"
Nami came to see Sanji and Tenshi arguing loudly, wrestling on the spot. Her lips twitched and she punched them both into the ground, shouting "ENOUGH!" Tenshi and Sanji were seeing stars.
Tenshi was dazed, "Wow… Nearly killed me…" Sanji was fine, "Nami-swan~ I appreciate it… but this isn't something that can just stop!"
Nami was startled, usually Sanji listened to her.
Tenshi stood up and held Mocha again, snorting as he gained his bearings, "We'll see, trash cook. Don't lose your will to live after seeing the difference!" Sanji flared up, exploding into flames, "Don't worry, when I crush your shit coffee, you'll wish you were a woman!"
Tenshi sneered and flipped his palm, a magic wand over it, saying "Listen, Shit Cook. This is a Gender Changing Wand. Whoever loses has to be a woman for 1 hour!" Sanji exhaled smoke, completely confident "Heh! Don't back out at the last minute!" Tenshi turned his chin up, "We'll see who backs out!"
Nami furrowed her brows, what the hell is going on here…
How did this turn into a gender changing bet?
Tenshi took back the wand and snorted, "I can't wait to see your womanly tears!" Sanji snorted smoke, "I have a picture dial, don't worry. You'll never live this down." Tenshi laughed angrily "We'll see!" Sanji got heated again, shouting with a laugh "YEAH! WE WILL! HAHAHAHA!" Tenshi turned around and said solemnly "May the best man win." Sanji turned and looked up, exhaling a breath of smoke, "Likewise…" they walked away, leaving Nami there in a daze, question marks all over her.
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