บท 12: Fire reignited
Ning'er had had one hell of a bad day, and that said something about said day, since most of her days were already pretty bad in the sense a normal person would regard it in.
And yet, this one day had nearly trumped them all. Despite the fact she had yesterday both encountered someone that was able to help her overcome her greatest obstacle and even cured her of said ailment, leaving only a few smaller ailments behind for her to take care of on her own, her mood had plummeted immediately when she was told this morning that her engagement to Shen Fei would be elevated to the next level.
Since both her and him had reached an acceptable level, they were to be officially betrothed, which was like a kind of promise made between two people to join hands before actually going through with the marriage.
Once she had been told this morning her whole day had been ruined, not improved in the slightest by the gleeful look the idiot Shen Fei had worn all day in school either.
The whole time she had sat in class she had been stewing in her misery. Her anger, her frustration and last but not least her helplessness.
Six years ago, when she had been told she was to marry Shen Fei of the Sacred family, her world had dimed, and yet she had still clung to the hope and confidence into her talent and will to push herself, hoping beyond hope that she could simply break off the engagement eventually like a naïve child, and had thusly been crushed this present day when reality came crashing down upon her.
Looking back, the whole thing had been nothing but a gamble, one she had actually been unaware of at first, but which she grew to realise the older she got. All those resources she was fed, all those instructions she had received, all of that had been nothing but an investment.
Like a courtesan she had been bought. Cheap, unknowing, innocent in naivety, and it gnawed at her that she had been so blind to her own family's agendas.
So lost in her frustrations and ruminations, Ning'er had, after leaving the class like a proud and blank faced zombie, left the institute, wandering the grounds until her feet took her to the only place where she had felt the first pleasant feeling in, what felt to her, like ages.
The library. Unfortunately, Hao hadn't been there. Again, she reprimanded herself for her stupidity. Of course Hao, someone obviously smart and dedicated, would not always be inside the library.
And yet, she stayed. Rooted. She couldn't move. While her mind seemingly left her body and fled to different realms, escaping the doom her approaching marriage projected unto her, leaving nothing but her empty body behind.
Or at least, that's what she felt like at that moment. In reality she simply didn't know what else to do or where else to go. Back to her home? Pff, that place didn't feel much like a home anymore these days. The wild? She was just a novice of cultivation right now. Hell, she hadn't even entered the bronze stage of soul force cultivation! Thus, she remained, rooted, lost and clueless.
"Good evening Ning'er. what brings you here?" Suddenly, a voice sounded from her left, a voice she had thought she wouldn't hear any time soon. And yet, here he was. Standing before her with an air of otherworldly aloofness surrounding him, relaxed and unbothered by anything.
She wondered at that moment, while her mind was in this weirdly objective state of hopelessness, how she had never realised how 'different' Hao was to everybody else.
Sure, he looked rather handsome with his long, dark hair and his fair complexion, but that wasn't what she meant. His whole being seemed to almost pulsate with barely contained 'force' for a lack of a better word. Though perhaps those thoughts should be kept to another time when she had less urgent matters to attend to.
Thus, Ning'er returned to a more 'feeling' state of herself, smiling slightly at Hao, who had moved over to sit in his usual chair, surrounded by books on the table on all sides, now waiting for her to begin her story.
Again, she couldn't help but note down how perceptive the boy was, another angle that made him just 'different'. She mulled over that new discovery for a second before actually returning to the matter at hand.
"I have a problem." She started, and quickly began to worry her lower lip again, a habit she actually was aware of but was unable to really control, always surfacing when she was faced with difficult situations that couldn't simply be resolved by shoving her hand into someone's face, no matter how much she wanted to do so.
Glancing at Hao, Ning'er was relieved to see him just sitting there, listening attentively. Thus, she continued, encouraged by his presence.
"Six years ago, when I was around nine, a marriage between myself and Shen Fei, a boy from the Sacred family, was arranged." She swallowed once, suddenly feeling another bout of bile rise up her throat once her mind began to imagine her future duties as the wife of her husband, though she managed to force said bile down through nothing but pure will.
"My family, the Winged Dragon family, has lost much of its former power in recent years, and it was looked favourably upon when the Sacred family approached mine with a proposal for marriage.
After all, the Sacred family is one of the major families of Glory City, and the union would return newfound strength to the Xiao family." In the middle of her explanation, her hands had begun shaking slightly in anger at the unfairness of it all, but she clenched them into fists under the table, not willing to show Hao even more traits of weakness.
Heh, how he must now look upon her. A weak, frail girl, seeking shelter and help with someone completely removed from Glory City's politics, a stranger she had only just met yesterday. How presumptuous she was being.
Still, she continued. If only to talk a little about it and get some of the steam out of her system.
"Today… this morning after breakfast, I was told the betrothal would be held soon, forging a promise, not lightly broken, between both our families, pretty much chaining me to the marriage without hope of escape.
When I was nine and told I was to marry Shen Fei, I was naïve to believe I could just grow strong enough with all the resources I received so that I would not have to marry the boy. What a fool I was. Now look at me. A mare, sent of to be sold to the highest bidder." She said while she held her eyes closed. But this time she could not suppress the quiver in her voice, the desperation leaking into her voice while her hands where balled into such tight fists she felt like her tendons were about to snap under the strain.
Suddenly, she felt a warm hand being laid softly upon her tightly clenched fists. Opening her eyes, she looked into the eyes of Hao who, now kneeling before her tense and bowed form, was looking at her with that soft smile of his.
Though, this time, she thought she saw something else in his expression as well but it flickered so quickly over it she wasn't able to clearly identify what expression it had been. His voice though, seemed to return her to reality once again.
"I know why you sought me out. Despite understanding your plight, I will not fight this battle for you, Ning'er." Hao said, and Ning'er couldn't help but crumble a little on the inside at his words. "But," this though, made her regain some of her formerly lost hope, perking up a little in hope at a solution.
"But, since you are a cultivator, I am willing to help you progress on your path. Me solving the problem for you would do nothing for you in the long game. Another problem will eventually appear. Maybe tomorrow, maybe in a year, or maybe in 2o years. But it WILL appear.
And if I were to solve this problem for you, you would still be that frail girl, unprepared and unsharpened to face the next problem without my supporting hand at your back.
No, Ning'er. I will not solve this problem for you. But I will help you solve it yourself so that you will never have to face a situation like this ever again. Take this opportunity by the handle Ning'er and forge yourself into a weapon with it!" Hao said, his voice reverberating through her very being, down to her deepest depth, while his eyes had captured her gaze, pulling her into his eyes, the roaring inferno of his spirit clearly displayed in them like dancing flames in the night sky, leaving her hopelessly lost and vulnerable like a newly born foal.
And yet, despite her vulnerability, perhaps for the first time in her life, Ning'er felt safe and sure in the knowledge that she would not fail. Could not fail. So long as this boy, Hao, was by her side, and if only as support, she would succeed, or perish in the attempt!
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bobbarker12
bobbarker12 Bloody hell, this was a hard chapter to write. I had, at times, problems putting my thoughts into order, and on top of that had no idea to properly write the jumbled mess of thoughts and feelings a teenage girl, in the middle of puberty with the threat of an unwilling marriage on the horizon at that, would experience.
I hope I still managed to write something at least a little decent in the end, but I'll leave that judgement to you ladys and gents!
Cheers!
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