บท 7: Chapter 7

By early morning of the second day Cersei heard the sweetest sound. She heard a tiny cry and looked up from her hands and into the baby's face. Eddard was in the weirwoods praying to his Old Gods. Jon opened his eyes and stretched his tiny hands. "Mamma." He cried pitifully. Cersei smiled and picked him up very gently. Myra, her maid woke up. "Go and bring me Luwin and send for my lord husband."

Maester Luwin checked on Jon. He dangled a bright jewel in front of him; Jon followed it with his eyes. He pinched his little legs to check his reflexes and checked the ugly cut at the side of his head.

Jon was fussy and tried to reach for her at all times. "He seems fine." Luwin said with a smile. Eddard came into the room and smiled.

"Call him your ladyship." Luwin said as he placed the baby back on the crib. "Jon." The baby turned his head slowly looking for her. "Mamma." He said with a whiny voice. Cersei smiled and held him to her chest again.

"He's tired, in pain but healthy. This is remarkable; children are truly resilient. I will be back with dream shade if he has trouble with the pain tonight." The maester left quietly.

The weight in her chest lifted. She was tired then, drained of all energy. She was walking but she was half conscious of it. She put Jon in the bed; he was quietly resting in the bed. The maester advised for the baby to have some warm milk. He was sipping from a contraption the maester gave to Myra. Cersei looked to Eddard who was observing his son with relieved grey eyes.

"Eddard, help me." She motioned to her dress. He helped her out of it. In that second she wished Eddard was Jaime. She wished he were Jaime so she could fall into his arms and take comfort. He wasn't her twin, he was her husband and she had to forget Jaime. Jon was alive and normal, he wasn't simple minded and he would be fine.

Myra left once Jon was asleep. Cersei was in her shift, Eddard was in the bed touching Jon's bandaged forehead. "Maester Luwin said he would be fine." He told her again.

"He is." Cersei lie on the bed next to the baby, she closed her eyes briefly and the world was a safe place again.

She woke up to Jon's cries. "Jon." For a moment she thought last night had been a dream and that the baby was still in danger. She looked to the side looking for him and found Eddard sitting with Jon in a chair by her bed. "He's fine." He could see the worry in her eyes.

"Mamma." Jon stretched his arms to her. Eddard came to her side and gave him the baby. Jon was clingy, something he hadn't been days ago. "Maester Luwin was here earlier, he said he would be fussy for a couple of days."

Jon laid his head on her breasts and tried to get his hands inside her shift. Jon cried more and more even when she caressed him and soothed him with words and soft touches. Jon kept crying and trying to nuzzle her teats. Cersei held him to her and bared herself to the baby. Jon hadn't been breast feed for about six months. She doubted there was any milk for him to suck. The pup took to the nipple immediately. He sucked gently and quieted. He clenched and unclenched his hand on her breast.

Her lord husband looked at her quietly. Cersei felt certain sense of embarrassment that she shouldn't been feeling. Eddard had seen her naked more than once. She couldn't help but feel uneasy. He looked at her differently, he wasn't aroused, and there was something else. His grey eyes were not cold; she realized how much Jon looked like his father.

"How long was I asleep?" She asked rubbing Jon's small back.

"All day." Cersei saw his tired eyes. She felt tired too. Jon's suckles stopped and he was sleeping peacefully. She tucked her breast back in her shift. Eddard took Jon and put him back in his crib. Cersei thanked his foresight. "He'll rest peacefully now." Somehow Cersei knew that all Jon had wanted was comfort.

"I should retire to my quarters. It has been a very long day my lady." He bowed and made for the door.

She stopped him; she didn't want to sleep alone, not tonight. She needed comfort; he was the only one who could comfort her now. She was going to keep her promise and renounce to Jaime. "Stay here tonight."

He nodded. She felt dirty and wanted to bathe. Eddard smelled foul too. "I want to bathe and sleep." She declared honestly. "I had Myra draw you a bath for when you woke up my lady. The water might be cooling…" She grabbed his hand and led him to the other smaller chamber. She removed her shift, and stepped into the big tub filled with water. Myra had placed more water for when she rinsed. She was glad the servant girl had gone. "Eddard, join me." Her husband nodded, he was fond of nodding and barely speaking.

He removed his tunic and his breeches and he was in front of her. Cersei was glad to have this quiet time. She grabbed a rag and put some scented soap on it. She cleaned herself and then looked at her husband. He had his eyes closed; he didn't look too comfortable. Her lord husband was probably used to washing quickly, not used to bathing with scents and soaps around. Cersei spoke up. "Come here. Put your head on my shoulder." Water spilled as her husband changed positions and stiffly presented his head to her shoulder. She could feel all of his body against hers. Cersei missed having someone bigger to protect her and comfort her. She started lathering his arms and chest. He relaxed against her, she hummed a song Aunt Genna taught her when she was little.

"Thank you." Eddard said softly. Cersei rubbed his temples, "You should take more baths like this." Cersei said delighted when he kissed her hands.

"I refer to Jon. All you have done for my child. I could never repay you. Anything you want my lady…" Eddard said softly. She liked the praise indeed. She was not going to tell him that Jon was her salvation. It would be best if he thought it was all done for him. Men were egotistic and liked to feel like the center of the world. Eddard Stark was an honorable man, one that felt compelled to be grateful and loyal.

He rested his head on her shoulder and was able to see her face, "I want to know her name. Did you love her? Is she truly dead?" She could have asked for anything but she wanted to make sure that no woman would come and take away the place she had at Winterfell.

"She was no one. I don't even remember her name. I had just learned that my father and brother were dead. Robert and I went to a brothel. He insisted I take her and I did. I shouldn't have, I had learned that I was to marry Catelyn Tully and once again I was second best." Brandon was always fierce, brave. I was just Ned. I wanted to have something that Brandon didn't touch first. It was not honorable and it felt amazing." Eddard spoke with passion about this woman.

"She's dead Cersei. I saw her broken body. She threw herself from the whore's tower; she couldn't stand to look at my son. She alleged rape but I assure you she enjoyed herself." Eddard said harshly.

Cersei never heard Eddard speak so harshly about anyone, not even the Mad King. "I didn't love her."

She finished washing him, even his brown hair, which was growing fast. They went to her chambers again and settled in the bed. Cersei didn't bother to do any of her nightly rituals. She slept naked against an equally naked Eddard who was asleep as soon as his head touched the white fluffy pillows.