บท 10: Chapter 10
Xu Ye felt as if he had been doused with a bucket of icy water, his expression stiffening as he lowered his head in disappointment. Suddenly, a warm hand grasped his wrist, and before he could react, he was pulled forcefully into a solid chest. Above his head, the man's deep voice, tinged with amusement, echoed, "Only I can hold you."
A faint fragrance lingered at his nose, and being so close, he could feel the steady, powerful heartbeat within the man's chest. Xu Ye wrapped his arms around the man's waist, curling his legs up, completely relaxed as he lay in his embrace. He finally realized he had hopelessly succumbed to this feeling. Despite the house maintaining a comfortable temperature for his bare skin, he craved the warmth of this embrace.
The man's hand moved from Xu Ye's head down, gently stroking his smooth back.
It was not sexual, merely soothing.
"This afternoon, your resistance was particularly intense. Why?"
Xu Ye's body stiffened visibly. After a moment of silence, he spoke, "Previously, I went out to have fun with some friends from my circle. We all got drunk and found a hotel to rest in. I didn't drink too much, but I was awakened in the middle of the night by screams from the next room. The sound was horrifying... I asked someone to open the door, and then I discovered that the two people next door had gone out of control after drinking and… assaulted a young male server." He paused for a moment before continuing, "When I entered the room, I saw blood everywhere under that server… on the sheets and the carpet too… I called 120 and saved his life. After that, I never went out with those people again. I heard they settled it with money."
Rich kids indulging in debauchery was one thing, but Xu Ye couldn't handle the aftermath of that incident, and he distanced himself from those people. The shocking sight left him with some trauma. So even when he let others use intense methods to induce pleasure, and even used some toys, he never allowed anyone to penetrate him with their sexual organs.
"Did my actions this afternoon remind you of that incident?"
He nodded.
"You have a trauma from this, yet you still choose a stranger as your master. Aren't you afraid I might act violently towards you like some dominants do?" the man asked.
"I thought, if you forced me to do something I didn't want to do, I could resist," Xu Ye replied honestly.
"Why didn't you resist this afternoon?"
"You said you would ensure my safety." He raised his face, his eyes shining like obsidian under the light.
What illogical trust was this? The man was momentarily taken aback before he lowered his gaze and smiled. "Xu Ye, while I will do my best to control the situation, I don't know what you've been through and can't perfectly predict your reactions each time. This afternoon's situation was like that; even though I stopped in time, it still made you feel an excessive panic. I apologize."
He was apologizing.
Xu Ye was completely stunned, staring at him with wide eyes.
There wasn't a hint of mockery in the man's gaze; he was serious.
"…It's because of me; it has nothing to do with you… I forgot to do what you asked…" After receiving an apology, Xu Ye felt nervous instead. The wave of guilt made him unconsciously crumple the man's shirt in his grasp.
"Relax." The hand resting on his back gently patted him. "This isn't an apology from a master to a slave, but rather my apology to you in a state of equality. The master-slave relationship is a matter between two people. I will take on the responsibilities that come with being a master, and you need to provide feedback and cooperation, like the communication we have now, allowing me to understand you better." His hand glided along Xu Ye's back, leaving a warm touch. "To ensure I can promptly sense your limits in certain situations, I will let you choose a safe word. Whenever you say that word, I will stop any actions that might harm you."
"Can it be any word?" Xu Ye blinked.
"It's best if it's not a common word and not something that might be frequently used during our activities, like 'no,' 'stop,' or 'it hurts.' Such words would make it difficult for me to discern whether you're genuinely in danger, and they might even provoke my interest to continue deeper."
Xu Ye thought for a moment, glanced at him again, then finally made up his mind: "Can I use your name as my safe word?"
The man looked at him with his dark eyes. "You don't even know my name."
"Right, I don't know." Xu Ye felt a bit dejected and buried his head again, his voice muffled with awkward emotion. "So, if you don't tell me your name for a day, then I won't have a safe word for a day."
The man laughed. "Just don't regret it later." As he spoke, he lightly patted Xu Ye's backside. The pain jolted Xu Ye, making him hiss sharply. "Next time you're punished, I might make your backside bloom."
"You won't." Xu Ye smiled, his tone full of certainty. After a moment, he seemed to remember something and asked, "I have a question…"
"Ask."
"If... I mean, if I had been prepared at that time, would you have... gone through with it?" Xu Ye spoke hesitantly, his cheeks flushing again.
"Do you want me to go through with it?" the man replied with a smile.
He fell silent, biting his lip for a long moment, before finally burying his face in the man's embrace and giving a slight nod.
The man couldn't help but laugh, "Aren't you afraid?"
"...I don't know." Xu Ye's face felt hot. At that moment, under the man's teasing, he had felt aroused and realized he wasn't opposed to the man's entry. In fact, he even felt a bit of anticipation in his imagination.
"No." The man answered him.
"Why not?" Xu Ye was surprised. Didn't he react back then?
"Some things lose their meaning when they happen too quickly. Controlling the rhythm of it all is my pleasure," the man said leisurely.
Sure enough, all dominants are control freaks, Xu Ye thought.
They talked about a lot of things. Just as Xu Ye had guessed, the man was knowledgeable. He had read almost all the books in that study, and they shared many common interests. Their topics jumped from travel, sports, and movies to finance, corporate culture, and psychology. The man's understanding of BDSM was astonishing, and when he talked about how Foucault described this irrational relationship as "the infinite imagination of desire," Xu Ye laughed in resonance. In the process of being controlled, he couldn't see himself, but he could imagine his body turning red and feeling humiliated under the whip, and such imaginations stimulated his desire, bringing him pleasure. It was not much different from a regular man watching adult films.
The man discussed the history of SM, the psychological needs of sadism and masochism, and the current state of the entire community in the country.
Xu Ye contributed his thoughts and asked questions from time to time. Now he understood why a dominant might have many submissives: the ratio between the two was heavily skewed. The reason there were far more submissives than dominants was that most of the time, submissives only needed to obey, while dominants had to personally control everything. In fact, this was quite exhausting. If BDSM were likened to a performance, the dominant, as the main character, needed to arrange everything from the script to the control of scenes and timings, down to managing props, expressions, and language. In a sense, everything the dominant did was actually in service of the submissive, allowing them to find pleasure. So, a good dominant must be extremely calm, controlling both the submissive and themselves. Those dominants who only used brutal means to satisfy their own desires were not popular.
Xu Ye quietly observed the man beside him, feeling fortunate.
He was undoubtedly a standout among dominants. He was powerful yet gentle, like a king, possessing the decisiveness of authority while also exhibiting refined tenderness.
Time flew by, and before he knew it, the clock had passed nine. Xu Ye asked, "Do I not need to go into the cage tonight?" He remembered the man had said he would give him orders every Saturday night.
"No need." The man patted his still slightly reddened backside. "After your shower, apply the ointment and go to bed. I've placed the ointment beside your bed." Xu Ye nodded, and he heard the man add, "If you can't sleep or wake up from a nightmare, you can call my phone. You must have breakfast ready by eight tomorrow morning."
Xu Ye thought he wouldn't be able to sleep.
He wasn't unaccustomed to new beds, but this time was a bit early for him. Since he started university, he hadn't gone to bed before ten o'clock.
This day of being a slave was new and interesting for him. He entered the role much faster than he had imagined. As he lay down, his mind was calm, unlike usual, which was filled with clutter and entanglements. Those desires that couldn't be awakened and had nowhere to go, the restless emotions, the self-doubt, and the trivialities of work seemed to have vanished, allowing both his mind and body to relax on the soft bed.
The only thing echoing in his mind was that man's voice, deep and gentle, faintly resonating.
He quickly fell asleep, only to be awakened by the alarm clock beside his pillow at seven in the morning.
It had rained last night, and it seemed to have been quite heavy, but he was completely unaware. It felt like a long time since he had slept so soundly. Xu Ye got up and stretched his muscles in the yard. Raindrops still clung to the leaves, and the air was filled with a damp scent.
At seven-thirty, he returned indoors, removed his clothes, and tied on an apron to start preparing breakfast. Uncle Ye had already prepared the ingredients last night and had specifically told him how to fry eggs well. Despite the theoretical guidance, it was still challenging in practice. Either the eggs were undercooked or burnt; after ruining six eggs in a row, Xu Ye finally managed to produce a decent-looking one. The breakfast the man required was quite simple: bread, fried eggs, ham or bacon, and juice or milk.
With everything arranged on the table and just five minutes left until eight, Xu Ye lingered at the stairway. In fact, his curiosity about the man had reached its peak. He was constantly thinking, "He definitely won't wear a mask while sleeping," and "If I go in now, I might get to see his face." However, another voice reminded him, "He won't allow you to look; you shouldn't violate that," and "If you do, the punishment will be severe," so he remained indecisive, pacing like an ant on a hot stove.
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