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100% Just Messing Around / Chapter 3: Penguin

บท 3: Penguin

"It's quite catchy isn't it, the Ice Lounge?" I asked Justin who just shrugged. "You know, it's a word play on the fact that penguins live in ice. Since Penguin has made it his lair thus it…" I noticed Justin was not even paying attention to me,

"Tch, brutes," I sucked my teeth as I led him to the building. We made an odd pair, a 7 feet giant wearing casual clothes while holding a silver briefcase following a thirteen-year-old boy 5'5 who was wearing a black t-shirt, white parachute pants and baseball sneakers heading towards the most notorious building in Gotham. But this was Gotham and news spread faster here thanks to all the spying the gangs do on each other. When it was announced that the Trinity had been slaughtered to the last man by a giant man and a kid, never had news spread faster. The fact that they were going to meet with Penguin had made the others quickly send over spies to see and gauge the new competition. I could also sense eyes from far up a skyscraper, my senses quickly picked up on Batman observing us. I wanted to wave, maybe unnerve him a little but decided not to allow my childhood impulses to take over.

"No getting in without being on the list," a bouncer said as he stopped us at the door.

"Haaa, I guess this is where we show the big boss our mettle," I boredly said to Justin who clenched his fists and very enviously popped them at the same time.

"Nah, you showed them your worth by doing all the work back there, this is my stage down. Time, I showed you and them I am not to be trifled with," I childishly said, making Justin roll his eyes at my theatrics. I ignored him and turned to the bouncer who was frowning in displeasure. "Now, I never wanted it to get to this but I guess I have no choice. Ever heard that rumors can kill?" (A/N: Extra points to anyone who realize where this is going.)

"What?" the bouncer asked, confused. I could understand him, what I am about to do was something I considered bullshit even to my powers. Absolute Learning meant you can learn anything instantly, from the hardest alchemical formulas without having even the basics of chemistry to learning how to transcend reality and space. Of course, it also meant that you can learn and master powers of other people with no effort at all! Like I said, total bullshit!

"I heard a rumor you took out your gun and shot yourself in the leg," I rumored him. The power rumor came from the comic and tv show call Umbrella Academy, belonging to Alison Hargreaves who could use her mind-bending powers to rumor someone to do anything she wanted. As soon as I finished my words, the bouncer took out his gang and immediately shot himself in the leg, letting out a guttural scream of pain as he keeled over.

"Ain't my power cool?" I asked Justin expectantly and he sighed like he was being patient with me.

"Yes, they are very cool," he answered stiffly. I ignored his demeanor, flashing a joyful smile, skipped over the bouncer writhing in pain and headed inside, Justin following me.

We did not receive any more trouble with everyone becoming very helpful very quickly. We were uninterrupted all the way to Penguin's office, which was at the very top of the skyscraper. The man must be getting hundreds off millions in rent because those rooms downstairs were most definitely lofts and penthouses, I am envious. A curvy secretary opened the huge double mahogany doors for us and ushered us in with a polite smile. Inside was Penguin sniffing a Cuba cigar and surrounding him were everything that showed just how well off he was.

"This is a lovely office," I complimented him as I walked towards a stuffed polar bear frozen in a pouncing motion.

"Thank you, laddie, I paid a pretty penny to get it furbished," he said, his English accent, though slightly watered down by his long stay in USA, adding to his charm. "So, I heard you wanted to speak business!" I looked at him and I could see the fury he was hiding behind his calm attitude. We cost him business and he was judging us to be sure if we were a liability.

"That we did. First off, I want to say even though I do not regret my actions, I am deeply sorry for the business with the Trinity. There was bad blood between us and I really wanted to start off my crook career with the safest bet between all the big player," I started off, letting it sink into Penguin that I am apologizing first.

"You call that bad business? The Trinity was my muscle. To kill them off in my territory without my go to, that is spitting on my face. I can't have that!" Penguin growled, setting the negotiations to his terms. He knew we had something good otherwise we wouldn't be here and he wanted a bigger piece of the pie.

"Muscle? I killed them all withing thirty minutes, if that's what you call muscle then I digress," Justin piped in, causing Penguin to snap at him, sizing him over and over again as his slimy brain started coming up with ideas.

"What my muscle brained friend wanted to say is that we were simply demonstrating to you just how useless your muscles were while planning to give you a better alternative," I said and Justin placed the briefcase on the table. This certainly made Penguin perk up.

"What's this?" he asked, trying his hardest not to show his curiosity.

"I believe its best we showed you. Please, if you wouldn't mind, please show in your best tester, probably one who doses," I answered, vaguely. Penguin looked at me with narrowed eyes before taking his office phone and ringing it, spoke to someone on the other end of the line, commanding them to bring a tweaker.

"Done, now what's in the briefcase?" Penguin asked.

"My mother, bless her soul, was an addict, no, drugs were addicted to her. She could spend months in a crack house getting high while I fed on scraps and insects. She tried to hide that life from me but I knew, somehow, I knew. I started to have fantasies, a drug more addictive than cocaine with none of the side effects, the perfect drug. Perhaps if I made it my mother wouldn't leave me alone all the time. She could get the highest of highs but still be able to come to my soccer games," I took a moment o calm myself down. "Well, she's dead now and since she can't use it, what' the point of keeping it. I give you the safest high you could ever get, a high that will make you cream your pants the first time you receive it while leaving you with a clean bill of life." I could hear the gears in Penguin's head grinding and groaning as he processed my words. He knew, no, any drug lord would have known just how priceless this drug was, especially to the higher clientele. The door was opened and two tweakers were thrown in by two well-dressed men.

"These two are the lucky winners," one of them said to Penguin who got out of his musing.

"Right, chaps, if you'll leave us alone," he said absent mindedly, trying to take his greedy eyes off the case to no avail. The two walked out with a shrug, locking the doors behind us. "Right, then, show me." I nodded to Justin who unlocked the briefcase. Inside were two little pills; a brown one and a colorless one.

"What's that?" Penguin asked.

"I call it Bliss, pure ecstasy in pill form. The brown pill is 99.9% pure while the colorless one is genuinely 100% pure. It was difficult but we managed to make the last one with some elbow grease. But, let me assure you, the difference of 0.1% is like the difference between Superman and a normal man, so different it's life changing!" I explained.

"Forgive me if I do not take your words at face value," Penguin scoffed as he showed us to the tweakers. I gave Justin the go ahead and he wore surgical gloves before picking the pills, one in either hand and taking them to the tweakers.

"Hey, man, are these, like, for us?" one of them asked, trying to get rid of an itch at the back of his head.

"Take one each and enjoy," Justin offered. The two looked at him suspiciously before they each took a pill. Justin then took a step back as we all observed them. The two looked at each other, hesitant to take the pill in their hand. Finally, the one with the colorless pill mustered all his courage and gulped it down. He nervously waited for the effects for a second before looking around in confusion.

"That was a let doooooo...…" It suddenly hit him and I knew just how much his brain was enjoying the shit. All we saw was his eyes suddenly dilated and a shudder of pleasure went down his spine causing him to cum immediately. He then proceeded to say the slowest 'fuck' in history before starting to laugh like he just heard the funniest joke in history before he cum again before sitting down and just had the stupidest grin he ever had. The other tweaker looked at this, grew envious and immediately swallowed his pill. His hit slower than the other one and the effects were not as stimulating. At the end of the show and tell, I knew Penguin was sold.

"You said you would give me a better alternative on my muscles, I haven't heard of your idea yet," Penguin said as he sat back in his seat.

"I know, that's our next proposal. Besides making and distributing Bliss, I would like you to give us the contract of being your muscle," I said, making Penguin frown. He knew that would give us too much power within his sociations so it was expectant he was wary. "I know you are hesitant, allow my to change your mind. In two weeks, I will amass my forces and I will take down the entirety of the Scarecrow gang, expanding your territory to his. If I succeed, you will give us the contract while subtracting a percentage on our quarters. If we don't, I will increase the percentage of your quarter to seventy percent while giving you the formula to bliss."

"That's an awful big bet, almost makes me think twice on accepting it," Penguin said, hesitantly as he mulled over my words. "You know what, you show me your worth and I will decide whether you are leading me to slaughter then. For now, sure, you can impress me." I smiled at his words.

"Now then, let's talk about our quarters," Penguin became serious and I knew the real negotiations were about to begin.


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