บท 13: Food Now Death Threats Later

I am feeling a lot of needless aggression from Pyrrha. It was nice to have my theory of her being proven right. On the other hand, her hating on me for the cruelties she was going through was misguided. I have done nothing to have her on my ass. I don't really feel like taking her shit for no reason but I do like her as a character. Even if she did die like a basic bitch. Well since she now has the Chat Group on her side she won't go out so easily. If she still did then she kind of deserved it.

Onto the others, I am fairly certain Power Up's was Rias. Her chat history has not really pointed that out but I still think the only one that can use her tits in that manner is Rias. The other two are not getting anywhere closer to being solved. The trap is apparently familiar with the troupe of Dimensional Chat Group. So it rules out any characters that belong to fantasy or medieval time lines like Astolfo. Other than that I had nothing I could really narrow down with.

Now onto the future brother fucker. She was looking for food so maybe she was a glutton? The fact that she was likely to fuck her brother means most of the rom-con bro-cons are eliminated because they would never reach that stage. Kirino is possible if only because she wins the route but I don't recall her being a glutton. It would have been nice to have a fellow Otaku but I guess I will just have to settle for Rias and her wish brand anime. The freaking casual.

Bah thinking about who they are does not really matter too much to me. Sure being able to talk to characters that I have grown to adore would be nice but not needed. I joined the Chat Group because it was the Dimensional Chat Group not for who would be in the group. So regardless of the members I was happy just being a part of it. Even if a certain member was still threatening me.

[I Was A Hunter But I Took An Arrow To The Heel: Show yourself Prince! I will show you exactly how I have earned my title!]

[Red-Head Obsessed Prince: Look I don't know where this hostility is coming from but I assure you I am not doing anything to you.]

[I Was A Hunter But I Took An Arrow To The Heel: That is exactly what a person who is messing with me would say!]

Wow. Just wow. How was I supposed to argue against such pure logic? She has truly trapped me with her vast intellect. I guess I was really messing with her. I never knew that I hated her to such a profound degree that I attacked her from another dimension. I am hot shit but I did not realize that I was that hot shit. You win this round Pyrrha.

[Red-Head Obsessed Prince: Look I don't know how I can convince you I am not messing with you. So instead I ask you to prove that I am messing with you.]

There now she has to be the one trying to prove her nonsensical theory. I don't even know why she was so upset. Could she be in the middle of the fall of Beacon? No, if that was the case she would not take the time to respond to all of my messages. So did she die already? Why was a ghost being so salty to me? I was not the one who chose to take an arrow to the chest instead of dodging. Nor am I the one who decided to destroy a whole city for shitty elemental powers.

[I Was A Hunter But I Took An Arrow To The Heel: My instincts are screaming that you are at fault for this. STOP TRIPPING ME BASTARD!]

She was being tripped? Since she was so upset she must be falling over a lot. Again there was no way that I was doing that. I was literally in another dimension. The question is why the hell she was being tripped over and over again? I don't recall any such situation in canon. Is that the afterlife of Remnant? Just being tripped for the rest of eternity? That was just so fucking odd. Sure it would be fucking annoying to deal with it for eternity but it's not torture. Nor does it sound like the kind of place a big hero like Pyrrha would go. So what the hell was going on with her?

I could feel Fortuna humming and giggling in my chest. She felt awfully smug for some reason. Wait. Was she doing this? The answering giggle told me the answer to that. Holy shit I was the hot shit fucking with Pyrrha. I do have the ability to attack her from another fucking dimension. How the hell did that work? I knew Fortuna was powerful but this is absurd. To bend the whims of Luck in another fucking dimension because someone was annoying me is insane. Did she receive a massive buff from Fortune's Beloved?

This changes a fair bit of my planning. Fortuna Is so much more powerful than I gave her credit for. I assumed that I would be in a constant state of Felics Felix. Instead, I have a goddess who can sense negative intent directed at me and act on it in another dimension. With that absurd kind of reach Fortuna really does deserve the name of a goddess. Sure she seems to be fucking around with Pyrrha but I know exactly how bad it is to get on the wrong side of Luck. There should quite literally be no one capable of stopping me in this world. Hell, the multiverse might as well crown me king now.

Still, I get you are having fun Fortuna but Pyrrha is a good girl. She is also zero threat to me at the moment. She could rage all she wants but she is just not capable of reaching me. Even if she was Fortuna could take off the kid gloves and wipe her as easily as I did Potter. So can you please stop for now? I could feel her reluctance but she agreed.

[I Was A Hunter But I Took An Arrow To The Heel: It has stopped! So it was you!]

[Red-Head Obsessed Prince: Okay I will admit that tripping was me. Whatever else you have going on was not me. I just have a passive defense for those who consider themselves my enemy.]

[Likely To Fuck Her Brother: Look as entertaining as this whole thing has been I was promised food. I am dying here. Please I am begging here!]

Huh, I thought she was just a glutton. Instead, she might genuinely need something to eat. I was not sure what Bro-con had the starving trait but if she needed help I was willing to do so. Food was not exactly difficult for me to get and having a group member on my side would be good. I was aiming for the admin position. So I left Fortuna's birth place and started my journey to the kitchen.

[Red-Head Obsessed Prince: Right you sound fairly serious. I'll get you something. Any requests? I can quite literally get you anything.]

[Feminine Penis: Ah I would offer to help as well but Prince-san seems to have it covered. I also don't really know how I would get you food sorry.]

[Her Tits Give Power Ups: I wonder how he plans on doing that as well. Are you perhaps close to her?]

[I Was A Hunter But I Took An Arrow To The Heel: Ha like I would believe that bullshit about passive defense. I still consider you a foe but here I stand! You must be running low on Aura!]

[Likely To Fuck Her Brother: Oh I can make requests. This hallucination has been great so far. I want a cake. A 10 layer cake! Oh and meat! Lots of meat. Steak, chicken, Ham. I think I saw an advertisement for Caramelized Apple soda I want a whole case of that. That sounds like a great fake final meal. It would be a great hallucination Mr.Prince!]

[Red-Head Obsessed Prince: Okay you are sounding a lot more dire than I thought. I'll get that for you faster. Hold on Bro-con!]

[Feminine Penis: Woah WOAH! Hurry Prince-san! Ms. Bro-con hang on for a little longer!]

[Her Tits Give Power Ups: Ah! Where is the nearest Convi!]

[I Was A Hunter But I Took An Arrow To The Heel: You better save this girl Prince!]

Damn. I was not expecting to be running after a whole day of walking yesterday. I could ignore her and just let her die but while I am a pramatic asshole I had nothing to gain from that. Not to mention I was rather familiar with hunger as an enemy. So I feel a rather large amount of pity for this girl. So I have been sprinting to the kitchen with all I got. God after this I am taking the rest of the day off and laze in my bed screw the consequences I have Luck on my side.

I reach the moving stair case rather quickly but the kitchen is on the last floor. I was rather high at the moment even if all the staircases align it was going to take a long time to get down. So I decided to do something stupid and placed my trust in Fortuna. I grabbed the railing and hopped on as I started to slide down. Normally this would be insane as the moving stair case was likely to switch to another floor before you reached the bottom throwing you off to hit the bottom. I could feel my heart pounding as I gained momentum. The texture of the Death Cloack seemed to really increase my speed. Which meant more danger but as I moved the staircases moved as well. When I reached the next floor my railing aligned perfectly with the next railing over and over again till I reached the bottom.

Now here is another problem with the speed I was going at I did not hop off the final railing. No, I went sent off like a fucking rocket. Sure it was in the direction of the kitchen but as I was flying through the air I could not really appreciate that helpful air time. No in that moment I was frozen with indecision. That momentary pause broke with Fortuna's comfort. Even if I fucked this up she would not so I made a decision. I trusted her but I had a solution of my own. I took out my wand and cast Arresto Momentum with the power I threw into the spell I went from a speeding bullet to a nice slow fall.

At that speed, I was able to land feet first. The kitchen was not too far from here so more running for me. I let out a long breath that felt like it was burning and my heart felt like it was bursting but I did manage to make it to the kitchen in record breaking time. I ticked the pear huffing the entire time as I tried to catch my breath.

I flicked off my hood and greeted the bustling crowd of house elves. When I showed my face all the elves stopped for a moment before one of them approached me.

"Mr. Snapey should be in class. He should." The small house elf reprimanded me as it gave me a concerned look. Me coughing up a lung in the kitchen must be freaking them out.

"Sorry, this is urgent. A friend of mine is starving they need a ten layer cake. Several Steaks, A roasted chicken, A glazed ham, and a sweet carbonated caramelized apple drink if you could put that in twelve cans that would be great." I managed to spew my absurd demands out between deep breaths. I really need to work on my physical fitness. I have to brew some more potions. What did you think I was going to exercise like a pleb? No, I am Severus Snape and everything can be solved with potions just ask Fortuna!

"Mr. Snapey needs help for starving friend!?" The little elf seemed truly shocked before they screeched out back into the kitchen. It was but a moment before they had all the items I requested. House elves are truly broken. They even canned the soda as I asked.

I then opened up the interface and clicked on the Bro-con's profile. I then selected the gift option. A blank panel appeared in front of me so I tossed everything in it. The food disappeared, startling the elves but I hit send.

"Thank you very much. My friend really needed that food. If you need anything you can come to me. I will replay this favor." I then bowed towards the elves. The rest of the magical community may not care for these frankly over powered creatures but I do.

The elf that first talked to me appeared in front of me blushing and kicking their feet out shyly.

"Mr. Snapey is too kind. Mimpsy does not deserve his thanks." The now named Mimpsy blushed some more and waved me off. They had apparently forgotten that I was skipping class at the moment.

(Ashley's P.O.V)

This hallucination has actually been rather cool so far. It gave her a jolt of energy and some entertainment. Apparently, magic tits did not know she had magic tits, what a riot. Mr Feminine Penis was just as shocked about his own name. She knew all of this was just her mind playing tricks on her but it was still nice. So she just laid on the floor watching the Arrow person yelling at this Prince character because they were tripped and they blamed him. Then the plot twist happened he was actually tripping them even though he denied everything else. Where did her brain come up with this stuff?

Then her stomach growled at her. Which is something she has grown used to. It did not make it pleasant but she knew it would pass. They were not scheduled to eat for another two days.

Fucking rations. As she looked back at the messages she thought she should get the hallucination back on track. So she sent a message to remind her mind about what should be the real priority here. It was effective as this Prince character said he was going to get her something to eat. Of course, the prince character in her own mind treated her the best. It's too bad he was not a Sister-Obessesd Prince. Then that would be perfect. He even asked her what she wanted so she listed everything she could think about at the moment. Just by listing it her mouth watered.

When she sent out her message everyone else started freaking out. Good job Ashley the only people who care about you are made up people in your head. Still seeing some level of care she grew more determined to survive this.

Don't worry Andy she will get them out of here. She was apparently a Demi-God so she would use her new found god like power to free them! She then slumped back onto the floor. Maybe she should aim lower like hunting a fucking pigeon. She laughed at herself as she waited for her imaginary food. Hopefully, this will give her the will to get through the next two days

It took longer than she expected from a hallucination but she soon received a new screen.

[User Red-Head Obsessed Prince has sent you a gift would you like to open it?]

[Yes.] [No.]

She sat up and grinned. Here it is she can't wait to eat this imaginary food. Sure it's not going to taste amazing because it will just be her memories but it will be something. So she hit yes and her gift flopped in front of her.

A cake that was as tall as her absolutely covered in frosting with the words 'For Mr. Snapey's friend' on the front of the cake. Several plates of steaks that looked like they came from some fancy restaurant. A whole roasted chicken that looked perfectly cooked, a glazed ham that looked like it was oozing juices. Finally, twelve cans that had no labels. As she took the sights in she had to admire how detailed her mind got. She could have sworn she could even smell the food.

She was about to start eating when she heard a loud crash as Andy had fallen out of his chair. He looked absolutely shocked as he looked over at her in utter confusion.

"Where the fuck did that come from?!" Andy looked absolutely baffled. He was pointing at her imaginary food.

"You can see this?" She asked and pointed at the now questionable food. It was a hallucination, right?

"Of course, I can see that! It just popped out of no where!" He was freaking out as her hallucination food broke his world view. Wait if Andy can see her food that means that it's real. Which means that the screens were real as well. She reached a hesitant hand to the steak as if afraid it would disappear. Once she picked it felt greasy as it oozed juices but that was what she got for picking up meat with her hands. She then took a large bite out of it. It was amazing. Probably the best thing she has ever eaten. That was not just the hunger talking either. It really was that good. It really deserved to be savored but she devoured it. She then looked at Andy who was drooling.

"Andy I think I made Magical friends." She uttered out in confusion. She could not even make regular friends how did she pull off making magical ones? Her only friend was Andy who was looking over at her with his mouth just hanging over. That faded though as he walked over and hesitantly poked the chicken. He tore off a piece and ate it. She was tempted to get snarky with him for eating her chicken but now was not the time for that.

He then looked up at her and gave her the flattest look she had ever seen. He then shrugged at got back to eating the chicken.

"So magic is real? They also apparently make amazing chicken…fuck it I can deal with that." He did not sound like he could deal with that but he was willing to say whatever he needed to as long as he could eat. Not that she was not in the same boat. Magic being real can wait she had food to eat.

Alright, more Ashley sue me I just got off of playing the game.