บท 68: 68. Sponge, Starfish, Cat, Goldfish ~Heroes~
Spongebob, Patrick, Gumball, and Darwin sit on the couch while watching some good ol' television.
They're currently watching the fantasy series, "Lord of the Things."
"What are you guys watching?" asked Finn, walking into the room.
"Lord of the Things," said Darwin. "It's a fantasy series about a fellowship including a grandmaster wizard from a school called Lizard Scales, the Dwarf King, a Demon, a Human, a Nordic Elf, and a Halfling, all trying to throw away The Thing into a volcano."
"The 'Thing'?" asked Finn.
"The One Thing to Rule Them All!" exclaimed Gumball. "It's only the most popular reference in this dimension's media! No one knows what it looks like! It exists in a briefcase that the heroes bring to the volcano!"
"Gumball, you've only been in this dimension for a month," said Finn.
"A briefcase?" asked Josuke, walking in. "That's odd. Why would a briefcase be in a fantasy series?"
"HATER!!!" shouted the four.
"BOO YOU!!!" shouted Gumball, pointing to Josuke. "BOO... THE YOU!!!"
"You clearly just don't understand how fantasy works!" shouted Patrick. ""
"That's a toxic fandom for you," said Josuke, sipping the coffee in his hand. "God, I love coffee."
"You do realize that we've just lost the serial killer we were supposed to hunt down, right?" asked Finn.
"Bah!" said Gumball, as he returned the straw in his mouth of the soda he's drinking.
The three leave to tend to their own businesses.
"Guys!" shouted Darwin. "Look! R.R.R.R.R. Robert is visiting in town!"
"Who?" asked Gumball, drinking another bottle of soda.
"R.R.R.R.R. Robert? The guy who wrote the book version of the movie?" asked Darwin.
"Eh..." said Gumball.
"Guys?" asked Darwin. The other two, Spongebob and Patrick, continued ignoring him.
"Why are you guys acting like you don't care?!" asked Darwin.
"Those guys usually shouldn't be idolized like that," said Gumball, increasing the volume. "They usually have large egos and break their fan's hearts... I honestly don't think we should. Especially in your case."
"What about my case?" asked Darwin, squinting his eyes.
"Mr. Robinson?" asked Gumball.
"Mr. Robinson likes us!" shouted Darwin.
"I wasn't talking about me, dude. I'm talking about you," said Gumball.
"Y-You really think that he doesn't like me?!" asked Darwin.
Gumball shrugs. "Probably. Who knows?"
"I'm still going!" shouted Darwin. Darwin reads the tickets.
"And there's a free buffet for paid visitors!" shouted Darwin.
The other three immediately stand up.
"Wow, guys," said Darwin. "Just wow. I have so much faith in humanity right now."
"We aren't humans, Darwin. And we need some money," said Gumball.
Darwin makes a call. "Hey, Mr. Kars? Money, please!Y-Yeah?For a... mission...?Yeah... Uh-huh...Yes, we have a lead... She must be in the FantastiCon.Yep... that convention.No, it's not a con. It's just called like that because it's short for Convention.Okay... bye."
Darwin makes a thumbs-up as the others say, "HOORAY!!!"
"Sir," said Jedan. "It's time for your studies."
"Ugh..." said Josuke, as he followed Jedan into his room.
"Don't say, 'ugh', sir... It's your destiny to lead this world to peace and harmony," said Jedan.
"I know... But I wanna keep having adventures with my friends!" shouted Josuke.
"You used to always say that you were happy with your life," said Jedan.
"Yeah! Well! I probably lied!" shouted Josuke, as he sat down on his desk with a pile of books next to it. Josuke crossed his arm in annoyance.
"This is the first time I see you where you're acting... pretty... snappy, compared to your usual self?" asked Jedan.
"Hmph!" said Josuke, looking away.
"Your dad..." said Jedan. "I've heard he'd done pretty great things trying to fix the problems in the Cryptid Empire."
"Ugh! This again about telling me to be like my dad or whatever!" Josuke said in disgust.
"Isn't your dad your hero?" asked Jedan.
"I have no hero," said Josuke. He crosses his arms and looks out the window up to the sky. "I never had one... I might never will."
Jedan sees Josuke do this.
"Why do you like looking out the window like that? Even in class, you do that, too. And you still manage to listen to the entire lesson," said Jedan, confused.
Josuke kept on staring outside.
Jedan sighs. "Tell you what. If you finish your works today early, I'll let you in the park..."
"Psh..." said Josuke.
"Alone," said Jedan.
"Alone... Alone! Alone... Alone! Aloooooone..."
These words echoed in Josuke's head.
"I never thought I'd want something so much before I even heard of it," said Josuke.
Josuke then had flashbacks of where he was eating breakfast, where he was playing video games, where he was in the library reading books, where he was watching television, where he was in the park, where he had his first tooth fall, where he would go to the bathroom, and the day when he was born. Each scenario had Jedan the Bodyguard in the background.
Jedan Ligera of the Prince Dimension was raised with Josuke. After the death of Arthur, Maria adopted the young orphan after his parents were killed in an unknown accident. Jedan was raised like a brother to Josuke but was heavily trained by his Uncle, Mario Jobin Higashikata, to become an efficient assassin. Jedan soon became Josuke's assistant and brother figure, often doing chores for him and helping him study to become the King of the Vampires one day.
The Higashikata family, the family who was chosen by King Arthur of the Vampires to take care of his child, raised Josuke in the hopes that Josuke will become the King of the Vampires who would bring peace and harmony to the Supernatural and Human Worlds. After the Royal Family was mysteriously taken out by The Man in the Yellow Suit, Josuke Higashikata remained as the sole survivor of the JoJo Massacre. The JoJo Massacre occurred on this Earth's year April 1, 2001, around the conception of Josuke. It was thought that the Higashikata Family themselves caused this massacre, and others thought it was a human. But all we know is that a mysterious Stand-User in a yellow suit killed all of them... in a flash.
Jedan sighed as Josuke walked out after an hour.
"You're really resourceful, Josuke," said Jedan.
"Yep! See ya!" smiled Josuke.
"Maybe you'd find a dad in yourself, one day," said Jedan.
Josuke walked alone in the park and skipped around, happily. "Ladida, diddy dada!!! Ladida, diddy dada!"
*bump*
*thud*
Josuke is on the ground as he grabs his head out of pain. He gives off a deep sigh. "Ouch!Huh?"
He looked up and saw a 195-cm-tall man loom before him.
"Oh! Hey, Mr. Reaper!" smiled Josuke.
"Hm," said Miguel, nodding for a moment as he walked away.
Josuke follows his alternate self in the park.
Miguel, meanwhile, opens a notebook and held it up with one hand. He navigates the park using a map in that notebook.
Josuke, excited for what place probability will bring him next, follows Miguel.
"Mr. Reaper? Why are you in the park at daylight?" asked Josuke, rather politely.
"I'm here looking for Kira," he simply replied.
"Huh..." said Josuke.
"The thing about Miguel JoJo is that he's the quiet type. He may be me from an alternate universe, but Miguel doesn't talk much. Kinda makes him terrifying, to be honest...Astig..."
Josuke smiles nervously as Miguel's pupils look at Josuke from the corner of his eyes.
"Hay Naku..." he sighed. "I'm searching for something emitting Speed Force energies. I used a device I made with Damaso to allocate the focal point of the anomaly in this very park."
"Huh... it's like fate brought us together!" smiled Josuke.
Miguel ignored him.
"Wait! That's it!" thought Josuke. "Jedan hoped for me to find my dad in myself! He must mean Mr. Reaper! If I work hard enough, he'd see me as his own son!"
"I don't think that's what he meant and that's pretty cliche," said a familiar female voice in his head.
"Shush, weird girl in my head who pops out now and then!" replied
"So... Mr. Reaper... What was your dad like?" asked Josuke.
Miguel turns to him for a moment and looks back at his notebook.
"He was... something," Miguel replied.
"Okay!" smiled Josuke. "You watch any movies?"
"I've watched enough good movies to the point of boredom..." said Miguel. "...So I started watching terrible ones to humor myself."
"Whoa! Like what genre?" asked Josuke.
"Any," said Miguel.
Josuke stared at Miguel for a while. A few moments later, he got nervous once more.
Miguel checks his watch. "Might be late, later."
"Mr. Reaper... I can sense something..." said Josuke.
"What is it?" asked Miguel, calmly turning to Josuke.
"Right there," said Josuke.
Josuke pointed to a rock.
*brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr*
"This energy's familiar," said Miguel.
The two of them approached the rock.
"Star Platinum," said Miguel. "Bites the Dust."
Star Platinum immediately teleported in front of Miguel and punched the rock.\
The rock broke in half.
Inside the rock... in another ring.
"That looks like the wedding ring from Kira's pocket," said Miguel.
Miguel takes out his metal gauntlet and tries to pick it up.
*ZOOM*
*brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr*
A man in a yellow suit with red lightning bolt-like horns appeared before the pair. He had red glowing eyes. His body vibrated similar to an old character from a previous part.
Note: Yeah... this kinda connects this book to my other book... But don't worry. They wouldn't really connect yet now... He's just a crossover character.
"You... those eyes..." said Miguel.
Josuke's memories flashed before his eyes. He remembered a red tornado of lightning slaughtering people at a party.
"RUN, MARIA!!! HIDE JOSUKE!!! GO!!!"
"Arthur, no!"
"RUN, MARIA... RUN!!!"
*ZOOM*
*SPLAT*
Josuke began to tremble upon seeing this strange man.
He spoke in a deep and terrifying voice that vibrated in their ears like the beat of a helicopter's blades.
"You've found me, Miguel JoJo," said The Man in the Yellow Suit. "How many timelines... No... Omniverses did you have to destroy just to find a way to defeat him. You've defeated the Anti-Monitor, yes... But you haven't defeated the true villain."
"Those eyes..." whispered Miguel JoJo. He stared deep into his eyes. "You're the third man. After Kira and Salvi... You're the third of the four men who killed my mother."
Miguel's eyes turned black as fangs appeared in his mouth.
"Mr. Reaper... calm down," said Josuke. But Josuke wasn't calm himself. In fact, he was about to have a panic attack. He breathed in and out and shivered in fear.
"You don't look so good yourself, kid," The Reaper clenched his jaws. "You killed my mother. Why?"
"Those words echoed in the mouths of many sons throughout every dimension when they meet me," he said. "They always question why I killed their parents. But in the end, I only do this for one man. I do this for the man they call Stefan."
The Man in the Yellow Suit stared at the two and sneered.
Meanwhile...
"C'mon, Darwin! I'm telling you! This is just a huge waste of time!" shouted Gumball.
The four of them have reached the line to FantastiCon.
"I wanna see you eat your words... BECAUSE IT'S GONNA HAPPEN!!!" said Darwin, pointing at him with a rat finger. "Just you wait, pussy-boy!"
"Oh ho ho!" shouted Spongebob and Patrick, who are on Gumball's head.
"We don't get it!" smiled Spongebob.
"I do," said Patrick. "It means that he's a boy, but he's a cat! And everyone knows that all cats are girls!"
"Patrick, I'm a cat," said Gumball.
"Wait, really? You've been a girl the entire time?" asked Patrick.
Patrick licks his hand and slides his hand on his head.
Patrick pointed at Gumball with both his hands as handgun gestures.
*click click*
"Patrick, I'm very clearly a boy," said Gumball.
"I'm gonna need some proof there, missy," said Patrick. "You gotta take off your shirt."
Gumball takes off your shirt.
"Not proof enough," said Patrick. "You gotta take off your-..."
"On it," said Gumball.
"Gumball, are you doing this on purpose so that we'd get banned?" asked Darwin.
Gumball sighs and zips up his pants and puts his sweater back on.
"Hey, baby," said a bald guy with a creepy mustache. "Can I get a picture of you while shirtless?"
"I'm not a girl," said Gumball.
"That doesn't bother me," said the guy.
"I'm 13," said Gumball.
The guy stares for a long time.
"That doesn't bother m-..."
Darwin kicks him to the ground and transforms into a lion, tearing out his legs.
"I'm thinking that Darwin had become a tad bit bloodthirstier since he got his Stand," said Gumball.
"I HEREBY BRING FANTASTICON OPEN!!!" shouted a woman with braces wearing cat ears.
The four walk inside and see several humans wearing costumes of elves, dwarves, fairies, goblins, trolls, and many more.
They walk around and enjoy a good time. They speak to a bunch of people, get free hugs from some ladies, meet some authors and TV-Show Directors, and finally...
They then reach the room where the ultimate FantastiCon star spoke on the 3rd floor. Here spoke the mighty R.R.R.R.R. Robert. They entered. A flash of light occurred as they shielded their eyes.
"Gah!" the four shouted.
"Sorry... Light's busted," said the repairman, as he went down the ladder and changed the lightbulb above them.
The four entered and saw a thousand people in the same room.
"Whoa..." said the four of them.
"Excuse me, sir," asked a kid in goblin armor. "Is it true that Unter Lightning is actually an anagram for the words 'Thunder and Lightning' which showcases his massively quick reflexes despite being a mere Halfling?"
R.R.R.R.R. Robert reads a paper.
"Yes," said R.R.R.R.R. Robert.
"Oh, my, God," smiled Darwin. "GUYS!!! IT'S R.R.R.R.R. Robert himself! Let's go ask a question!"
"Darwin, trust me," said Gumball. "Don't believe in your heroes. They just let you down... Unless, of course, they're your dad or whatever-... You are raising your hand and you are not listening to me. Okay."
Darwin, raising his hand, shouts, "Ooh! Me, me, me, me, me, me, me!!!"
R.R.R.R.R. Robert sighs. "Yes? You? The Fish Cryptid."
"Oh, my, God... His finger pointed at me... Must... grab... particles... from his air... transferred to my air..." Darwin rubs the "particles" all over his body.
"Uh... kid? What... What are you doing there, exactly?" asked R.R.R.R.R. Robert.
"Oh, sorry!" Darwin turned red. "I have a question! What do you say about this site saying that Unter Lightning will take the Potion of Regen from Redo when he clearly knows that the Potion only lasts a month? But... it says that the journey is 50 days!"
The people around them gasp and look at each other.
"Oh, my, God..." said Darwin. "Great Kordor! This article stated that Unter Lightning is gonna die at the end of the book. He's gonna Iron Man his way out of your book! And Captain Myrr will take his place and apparently Captin Myrr is his son from the future? Psh! This is baloney!"
"Uh..." said R.R.R.R.R. Robert. "Oh, God..."
"Oh... crap..." said Darwin. "That was the ending, wasn't it?"
"SPOILER!!!" shouted a woman in the background.
"I-I-I-I-I didn't know!" shouted Darwin.
"Uh... Yeah! That article was entirely true and he spoiled us all... Looks like I'd have to change my ending! GOD!!!" shouted R.R.R.R.R. Robert.
People start shouting and booing him.
"I say... we execute his Identification Card," said an ugly sneering man who appeared before them.
"Astronaut Variety Hour," they said, squinting their eyes and loosening their jaws.
"Who?" asked a woman in the background.
"This guy is our main rival," said Darwin. "Well... he's mine."
"He keeps making these videos that have terrible arguments and he gets millions of views! He keeps saying opinions without any form of back-up arguments and just says what he feels either it has logic or not!" shouted Gumball.
"DawinianMangaMaster," sneered Astronaut Variety Hour. "Your last video debunked mine. NO MATTER!!! You think that you're above me by debunking my video, BUT YOU ARE JUST AS TOXIC AS I AM FOR CLAIMING TO ARGUE BETTER THAN A NERD!!!"
"SHUT UP, NERD!!!" shouted Darwin. "You guys do realize that he hates YoYo's Bizarre Adventure, right?"
Everyone gasps.
"THAT IS A MASTERPIECE THAT ALL OF US IN THE ONE FANDOM TO RULE THEM ALL CAN LOVE!!!" shouted a man behind them.
"I have good arguments!" shouted Astronaut Variety Hour.
"THEN BACK UP THAT ARGUMENT OF YOU HAVING GOOD ARGUMENTS!!!" shouted Spongebob.
"PSH!!! Arguments don't need 'back-ups'!" laughed Astronaut Variety Hour. "Fine! Whoever gets more votes will be banned from FantastiCon... FOR LIFE!!!"
"Very well," said Darwin.
Later...
Darwin and AVH stood on parallel mic stand on the stage in place of R.R.R.R.R. Robert.
"D'aboville is not a coward!" shouted Darwin. "In your video, you said he's a coward. I REJECT THAT STATEMENT!!!"
"Are you trying to divert the attention on what you did and put it toward what he did?" asked Gumball, who is beside Darwin.
"Shush! This is politics!" shouted Darwin.
"THAT STATEMENT... is wrong," said Astronaut Variety Hour.
The people cheer.
"YOUR STATEMENT IS WRONG!!!" shouted Darwin. "I'LL SHOW YOU HOW WRONG YOUR STATEMENT IS!!! IT'S SO WRONG THAT YOUR FACE LOOKS LIKE SANDPAPER SCRATCHED IT!!!"
The people cheer louder.
"NOW HOLD ON!!! THAT'S A FALLACY!!!" shouted Astronaut Variety Hour. "YOUR HEAD IS SO BIG THAT WE CAN'T SEE YOUR BODY!!!"
"I HAVE NO PHYSICAL BODY, TO BEGIN WITH, CHUMP!!!" shouted Darwin, slamming his mic stand.
"This is fun to watch," said one guy to a girl.
"Yeah!" she laughed. "Let's vote for the guy who's less funny to leave!"
"I am the worst President of this club," said Astronaut Variety Hour. "But I can be better."
"You are the worst President this club ever had," said Darwin. "You are a liar and you are terrible at debates."
"You just agreed to that! You're the liar!" shouted Astronaut Variety Hour. "You are just so wrong. YOU'RE THE WORST PRESIDENT IN THIS CLUB!!!"
"Wait... you know these people!?" asked Gumball, whispering. "I thought you've never been here before."
"I've been president for a month now," whispered Darwin to Gumball.
"WHY AM I WRONG!!!? I LITERALLY LAID ON THE TABLE HOW WRONG YOU ARE!!!" shouted Darwin, turning to Astronaut. "Now... here's a list of every wrong argument you've had on the YoYo's Bizarre Adventure case...D'aboville is a coward. Yotaro Kuyo has no personality. Yorno Yovanna has no personality. Part 5 sucks-..."
Darwin takes out a really long list.
"Here are all the lies you've promised for this club that never happened," said Astronaut Variety Hour. "Cupholders in the chairs... Bathroom Air Fresheners... AIR CONDITIONING!!!"
*GASP*
"Whoa... Politics is so interesting, Patrick!" smiled Spongebob.
"It's just two nerds saying the other one is wrong and wanting to be class president," said Patrick, drinking Gumball's soda. "Thanks, Gumball. I needed a drink."
"So do I," sighed Gumball.
R.R.R.R.R. Robert checks his watch while down the stage. "Where is he?! I need to go golfing."
"Sir? The debate?"
"This is a debate?!"
Meanwhile...
Miguel checks his watch.
"I still have time," said Miguel. "Star Platinum!"
Miguel stopped time and prepared Star Platinum. He approaches The Man in the Yellow Suit. Star Platinum reaches for his mask.
"I need to know who you are," said Miguel.
Miguel sees what's underneath. It's a blonde man with a terrifying sneer.
*DUN DUN DUN!!!*
Miguel stares at the man.
He speaks...
"I have no idea who the fuck this is," said Miguel.
Suddenly, the man's eyes twitch to Miguel's.
"NANI!!?" asked Miguel.
*ZOOM*
*CRACK*
*SPLAT*
Miguel's arms bled as time resumed.
"I disabled your Stands..." said Miguel, as he grunted and backed away. "Wait... I don't sense Stand Energy coming from you...What...What are you?"
"I'm a Speedster," he replied.
"You're like the guy from before... who Damaso and I spoke to... He said he was from another dimension... He was wearing a red suit instead... He... appeared in my dreams, before..." said Miguel.
"What other guy?" asked Josuke.
"He said something big is coming," said Miguel. "And we're all part of it."
"His name is the Flash. He's an interdimensional Speedster. He is quite annoying if you ask me. You're right about everything, but not the part where I'm exactly like him. I am nothing like him. Some would say that I'm the reverse."
*ZOOM*
"JOSUKE!!!" shouted Miguel.
Prince emerged and punched his arms, as Miguel regenerated.
*ZOOM*
*CRACK!!!*
Miguel's rib breaks.
The Man then zoomed toward Josuke as Star Platinum kicked The Man away.
"Tch-!" whispered Miguel.
Star Platinum kept on blocking The Man's attacks toward Josuke but gains broken bones in the process.
"We have a problem, Josuke," said Miguel. "This guy... He's much faster than I am..."
*ZOOM*
*CRACK*
Miguel's leg breaks as he genuflects on the ground. "He can even move in stopped time."
*ZOOM*
*CRACK*
*SPLAT*
Miguel spits out blood.
"Mr. Reaper!" shouted Josuke.
"Go! Run, Josuke! Run!" shouted Miguel. "I can handle this!"
Flashes of that memory came back into his head. He grabbed his head.
"JOSUKE!!!" shouted Miguel.
"No..."
(theme begins)
"Astig Talaga...I'm tired of being sheltered from an adventure of a lifetime," said Josuke. "I'm tired of looking for my hero... I'm my own hero, Mr. Reaper..."
Miguel's eyes widen. A star on Josuke's shoulder shines. Miguel's star shines as well.
"What is this energy coming from Josuke's body?" asked Miguel to himself. "I'm actually getting goosebumps."
"Mr. Reaper... Why do you think he keeps running away from you as quick as possible and that he has only given you minimal injuries?" asked Josuke.
*CRACK*
*SPLAT*
"Can we not do the game of 20 questions? Losing blood, here..." said Miguel. "Wait... It's because he's not a Stand-User...He's scared that if he takes a strong punch and to something like punch my heart out, he'd be too slow... So Star Platinum might be able to catch him!He can't see our Stands!"
"Now... take that advantage into our hands, Mr. Reaper!" shouted Josuke. "Mr. Reaper, could you go between the dimensions of stopped time and moving time?"
"Whenever I stop time, it drains my stamina massively," said Miguel. "I can only stop time for seven seconds."
"Then enter between that feeling and your normal time..." said Josuke. "If that makes sense..."
Miguel stops time but stops Star Platinum from completing the time-stop. Time, instead, slowed down.
The Man still moved very quickly, but Star Platinum managed to -...
"ORA!!!"
*CRACK*
(theme begins at 1:14)
Star Platinum managed to fracture The Man's jaw as The Man gave a muffled grunt.
"ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA!!!" shouted Star Platinum, punching The Reverse Flash over and over again.
*BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG POW BANG*
With several broken ribs, a broken leg, a broken spine, two broken arms, and a fractured jaw, The Man in the Yellow Suit falls to the ground all-mangled.
Miguel's heart begins to beat faster as he spits out blood.
"I've used the Time-Reduction for too long..." he whispered.
*splat drip drip drip*
Time resumed. Both opponents fell to the ground.
Josuke immediately heals Miguel.
*GASP!!!*
(theme ends at 1:28...)
Miguel slowly stands up and grabs The Man in the Yellow Suit.
Josuke stared at The Man with contempt. "This guy... He was there..."
"Where?" calmly asked Miguel.
"The night when my family died," said Josuke.
Miguel sighs. He checks his watch. Miguel calls someone. "Kariel? Bring this man into the Speedster Containment Chamber."
Kariel's hand appears from a portal as he grabs The Man.
"I need him for questioning. Then, I am allowed to give him every form of torture I am willing to lay down upon him," said Miguel. "I really need to go."
Josuke sighs and walks away.
"Hey, kid," said Miguel, sighing. "I'm impressed by what you did. You'd make a fine soldier."
Josuke turns to Miguel.
"Like... you're proud of me?" asked Josuke.
"Sure," said Miguel.
Josuke gives a big gasp. "*Ahem...* Whatever. I don't care."
Miguel chuckled.
"Wanna come to FantastiCon?" asked Miguel.
"YOU HAVE A MEMBERSHIP ID FOR FANTASTICON!?" asked Josuke.
"You could say that," said Miguel.
Meanwhile...
"KANGAROO COURT!!!" shouted Astronaut. "KANGAROO COURT!!!"
"This isn't a court, This is a debate!" shouted Darwin.
"No, this isn't!" shouted R.R.R.R.R. Robert, standing up. "I'M TIRED OF HEARING YOU ZOOMERS GO AROUND AND DESTROY AMERICAN POLITICS LIKE THIS!!!"
"This is the Philippines, sir," said one kid.
"Shut up, brown boy!" shouted R.R.R.R.R. Robert.
*GASP*
Everyone turned to R.R.R.R.R. Robert.
"I AM A FRAUD!!!" he shouted. "I AM NOT A WRITER!!! I HAVE A GHOSTWRITER!!!"
*BIGGER GASP!!!*
Darwin shows a tattoo on his skin that has five R's and a "Robert" at the bottom with a heart around it. Darwin then tears it off his skin.
"Guys?! I don't think R.R.R.R.R. Robert is the real writer. Something tells me that that is the case right here," shouted Patrick.
"I LIED!!!" shouted R. "I don't know the ending of the damned book! I haven't even read any of them!!! AND I ONLY GET A FOURTH OF THE ROYALTIES FROM THESE TWO BOOKS!!!THE REAL WRITER IS-!!!"
"GET 'IM!!!" shouted a woman.
The crowd then begins to approach R.
"Hay Naku... I'm so Goddamned late..." said Miguel, walking inside.
They gasp.
"It's that alternate reality hobo version of Prince Josuke of the Vampires who lives in that rich company's basement!" shouted a guy.
"Okay... that hurts," said Miguel, who teleported behind Darwin. "But I'd let it slide. I've had an exhausting day, anyway."
Darwin and Astronaut knelt before Miguel.
"Is it true?" asked Darwin. "Are you really the ghostwriter of the Lord of the Things book?"
Josuke gasps. "HUWHAT!? MR. REAPER!!! YOU WROTE LORD OF THE THINGS!??"
Gumball grabs Miguel's hand and genuflected. "Spongebob, use your Stand to turn Mr. Reaper into a girl so I can marry him one day."
"You have a girlfriend, Gumball," said Darwin.
"Yeah, and my powers don't work that way," said Spongebob.
"Right... I'm a civil person," said Gumball. "Not one of the apes who are planning the Random Chimp Event."
"That isn't real, Gumball!" shouted Darwin.
"That's what they all say," chuckled Gumball.
"Which one of us is the President?" asked Darwin.
"How about you do a debate?" asked Miguel.
"NO!!!" shouted Gumball. His voice echoed in the entire room as he covered his mouth.
"Fine... I'll choose," said Miguel. "Who are the nominees?"
Darwin and Astronaut Variety Hour stood before Miguel and smiled.
"Eenie Meanie Miney Moe," said Miguel, as he pointed to Darwin last. "Darwin. You're President. Okay, question time since R. over here revealed my identity.Okay! Starting from you!"
"Who is a hero? Are they someone related to you? Are they someone you idolize? Are they someone who helps the town in little or big ways? I say a hero is someone who gives you hope, even if they're not so perfect. A hero is someone who, even if you'd never know their accomplishments, is someone who works their hardest to achieve giving you hope."
Josuke smiled and looked at Miguel.
"I know I've found mine."
"Batman!" shouted Josuke, showing Jedan his new action figure.
Jedan facepalmes. "Oh, Josuke..."
"Yeah..." said Jedan to you, the reader. "That's right. I planned this from the very start in the hopes that Mr. Reaper would become like a dad to Josuke. I knew Mr. Reaper was going to the park because I read his files when I was babysitting Gabrielle and the computer was left open. After taking care of her during the Kira incident, she grew a fondness for me. Anyways, back to the story. I hoped that Josuke would find a dad. Instead, Mr. Reaper just reminded Josuke of his favorite Superhero character. Get it? Batman's the Ghost Writer for the Cops in Gotham City-...God, I hate nerds."
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