บท 65: 65. Aka Manto ~Blue or Red? Choose, Gumball Watters...
"Anne..." said Miguel. "Do you think that Dinosaur Stand Battle has something to do with Kira?"
"What makes you say that?" asked Anne.
"Just a hunch," said Miguel.
Suddenly, the news played on the screen of his computer.
"BREAKING NEWS!!! DINOSAUR STAND USED AGAINST MURDERER!!!A Dinosaur-wielding Stand-User used his Stand to chase down the Burnham serial killer-!!!"
Miguel stands up in shock. The Crusaders look at each other, confused.
"Right after you said it, too," said Anne. "Wait... This is weird... What do you think is causing all these coincidences?"
"I don't know," said Miguel.
"How about calling the team you created? You brought the six of them to this dimension, after all... How about using them for a mission for once for training?" asked Anne.
"Wait... I didn't do that, Damaso did," said Miguel.
"No, I didn't," said Damaso, who is shown shaving in the bathroom.
"Wait... Kariel?" asked Miguel.
"Who?" asked Kariel.
"Those idiots said that a mad scientist in a lab coat just brought them here accidentally after a fluctuation with his portal gun," said Damaso. "Finn stated that the scientist accidentally teleported some people out of their own realities, messing with everyone's timestream."
"Wait," said Miguel. "Meeting them was... also... a coincidence?"
"THE WOMAN WAS LAST SEEN IN 243 STREET MCDUFFY BOULEVARD BEING PICKED UP PRESUMABLY BY A VEHICLE AS LIGHTS APPROACHED THE WOMAN!!! HOWEVER, A LEAF-COVERED THE CAMERA RIGHT AS THE WOMAN WAS PICKED UP. WHEN THE LEAF WAS GONE, THE WOMAN AND THE VEHICLE DISAPPEARED!!!"
The screen shows a forested street with nothing but a bathroom on the scene.
"Well, Crusaders... We have a lead," said Miguel. "I... think?"
"This is getting bizarre..." said Anne. "You think that... a Stand is somehow causing all of this?"
Meanwhile...
Koko caressed the dismembered hand.
"So, sweetie, I heard your boyfriend who can use a dinosaur Stand found out that the rest of you had to go," said Yoshiko. "Glad he never knew about our affair. What's his name? Bernardo Brando? The user of two Stands?Oddly enough, how did he know that you were taken in by a 'serial killer?' Me? A serial killer? Psh... No, no, no, no...They call me a serial killer. I call myself a ladies' woman.Bernardo Brando is rather angry for some reason...He'll never find me, however...My old life?Oh...You shouldn't care, my sweet...No...I don't think my old life would catch up to me...They're all dead, anyway..."
The CCTV Cameras of the street shut down.
The Reaper walked into the street at night and picked up a coin in the middle of the road using a specialized mechanical gauntlet.
"There you are..." said Miguel. "Huh?"
Miguel saw something on the coin... something weird-looking...
It had black spots all over. Markings of some sort.
Miguel then saw the bathroom.
"I'm indecisive!?" asked Josuke, as Jedan sighed.
"Josuke, you've been avoiding this conversation a while now," said Jedan. "Underwear or boxers?"
"Underwear!" shouted Spongebob, Gumball, and Finn.
"Boxers!" shouted Jake, Patrick, and Darwin.
"Jake, you don't wear boxers," said Jedan.
"I do!" shouted Jake. "Underneath these spider silk pants are spider silk boxers!"
"I have the same for my butt," said Darwin.
"And the sleeve is for your-?" asked Jedan.
"Tail fin," said Darwin. "Yes."
"Okay, Josuke," said Jedan, slamming his hands on the table. "SO!?"
"Both!" shouted Josuke.
The rest of The Fusion laugh.
"Look at this dude..." said Jedan. "You should learn to choose, Josuke!"
"Sometimes choosing a gray area works!" explained Josuke.
The Fusion is shown to be in a cafe all having conversations together on a Saturday night.
Gumballs sighs. "I'm gonna go to the bathroom to do number one," he simply said. Gumball then walked to the bathroom. The bathroom smelled terrible. There are muddy footprints all over the floor. It smelled like urine that wasn't flushed for weeks.
Gumball sighs.
"Even in Elmore, public bathrooms are like this," said Gumball. "Good thing that I know that the whole Multiverse has bathrooms like this, even in a Cryptid Utopia..."
Gumball walks inside a stall and sits on the toilet.
"Ahhhh...."
Gumball flushes the toilet.
He tries to take some toilet paper.
There... isn't any toilet paper...
DUN, DUN, DUN!!!
There's a pail of water with a dipper right next to him and some soap.
"Oh, right," said Gumball. "That's how Filipinos clean their butts after doing number two... But not to disrespect anyone's culture, but ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!?"
Suddenly, a red-cloaked spirit with a smiling yellow mask wearing a red cloak appeared before Gumball.
"Wazzap!!!" shouted the spirit in a cool screechy voice.
"OH!!!" shouted Gumball. "WHOA, DUDE!!! ARE YOU ANOTHER STAND!!? PRIVACY, MAN!!!"
"Blue toilet paper, or red toilet paper?" asked the spirit.
"Why's one red and the other blue? Does that matter?" asked Gumball.
"Red toilet paper will have me stab the fuck out of you until you drown in your own blood. Choose blue, and I'd use it to fucking strangle you," said the spirit.
"U-Uh..." hesitated Gumball.
Meanwhile, The Fusion gets on with their business and tries to arm wrestle with their individual Stands. Right now, it's Finn's vs. Jake's.
"Come on, Time Adventure!" shouted Finn.
"BACON PANCAKES WILL WIN THIS!!! YEYUH!!!" shouted Jake.
"Sir, please leave my place of business!!!" shouted the manager. "We don't serve your kind, here!"
"Huh?" asked Josuke.
Josuke runs into the restaurant.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
"Get outta here, kid," said the manager. "This Schwein and his Human wife are acting like a complete ass, right now!"
"We just needed a place to have a simple dinner!" shouted the man. "This is the only place in this Barangay that's still open at this hour! Please! She's pregnant!"
"'Schwein'?" asked Josuke. Josuke sniffed him. "Oh! You're a Pigman!"
The man sniffed him.
"Vampire," said the Pigman. "Hm."
Josuke sniffs the man as the man woges and growls.
"Oh... Lycan! Didn't mean to sniff you! I-I didn't know!" shouted Josuke.
"Careful on sniffing fellow carnivores, kid," said the Lycan manager. "You don't know when they'd bite you." He growled and turned to the couple.
"Excuse me," said the woman. "But I have a pass. I have the right to "
"But the sign says no Schwein or Human allowed," said the Lycan manager, pointing to a sign on his counter that says so. "No schweins allowed."
"Hold on, sir!" shouted Josuke. "You can't base your judgment on one's race!"
"Yeah!" shouted the man.
"Fine!" shouted the Lycan. "Now, pay up!"
"We don't have any... money?" asked the man.
"Then what good are you to me?!" asked the Lycan.
"Wait! Obviously, we could solve this flippin' conundrum!" shouted Josuke,
"Okay? How do we do that, Aswang!?" asked both men. "Who do you choose is right!?"
"Uh..." said Josuke. "I... Duh... I-..."
Meanwhile...
"Which, Gumball!?" asked the spirit, licking his lips. "Which paper am I holding do you choose to wipe that thicc ass of yours."
"I'm 13, you creep!" shouted Gumball.
"I'm 80-years-old," said the creature. "What's weird about having an 80-year-old wipe your ass?"
"EVERYTHING!!!" Gumball hissed.
"Come on, pussy cat," said the ghost. "Choose your asswipe, pussycat."
Gumball sees the middle ground: The pail.
"NEVER!!!" shouted Gumball.
"Choose," the ghost hissed. "Or I'll have to use my bare hands...*laughs maniacally*MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!"
"M-Maybe we'll be better friends if we know each other's name!" he smiled. "Gumball Watterson," he offered a handshake. "No, wait-..."
The ghost shook his hand.
"Aka Manto the yokai, pleased to attempt to murder you," said Aka Manto.
Gumball looks at his hand, looks at Aka Manto, and wipes his hand on his sweater.
He smiles, trembling.
"Wait..." whispered Gumball. He shouts, "WEIRD LIKE U-N ME!!!"
Weird Like U-N Me, a male Killer Queen-resembling Stand, emerged from Gumball as it punched Aka Manto in the face.
"GRAUGH!!!" he shouted. He then brought out his blue toilet paper and whipped it at Weird Like U-N Me, wrapping the paper around his arm.
"I'm gonna whip out this roll and blow my load all over you, then choke you with it," said Aka Manto.
"CAN YOU NOT SAY A SEXUAL INNUENDO FOR TWO MINUTES!!!?" cried Gumball.
"No," said Aka Manto. "Now, bend over."
The toilet paper chokes Gumball.
"You like that, pussycat?" he asked, whispering.
"I SHALL NEVER WASH MY ASS, NEITHER SHALL I WIPE IT WITH YOUR DIABOLICAL DEMON TOILET PAPER!!!" shouted Gumball. "WEIRD, GIVE HIM A TASTE OF HIS OWN MEDICINE!!!"
Weird Like U-N Me exchanges several punches with the diabolical Aka Manto.
"Uh..." said Josuke. "I need to go to the bathroom!"
Josuke ran outside and went to the bathroom.
"Oh, geez, oh, geez!" he shouted. "I need to think! How do you choose who's right if both sides are kinda racist!?"
"GET THE HECK OFF OF ME, YOU BETA VERSION OF V-FOR-VENDETTA!!!" shouted Gumball. "GET OFF!!!"
*GAG*
"Huh?" asked Josuke.
Josuke opens the door, slowly.
The Aka Manto is there with Gumball as he strangles his Stand.
"J-Joseph!" shouted Gumball.
"It's Josuke," said Josuke.
"R-Right! HELP!!!" shouted Gumball.
Josuke spoke and smiled. "ALREADY DID!!! See ya! I already know how to solve the problem."
Josuke closed the door and walked back outside.
"Huh?" asked Gumball. "I WASN'T TALKING ABOUT YOURS... I WAS TALKING ABOUT MINE!!!"
"HA HA HA HA HA!!!" laughed the yokai. "The Aswang Prince really is an idiot!"
"Huh?" asked Gumball to himself in his thoughts. "How did he know that this guy's the Aswang Prince? Was he sent here to kill me?"
"Hahaha-!!!"
*TING*
The faucet exploded and was launched to the ceiling as it bounced and was shot through the toilet paper.
"Huh... That was a pretty cool trick, Gumball Watterson," said the ghost. "So that's your ability... luck?That's a completely useless ability... your Stand isn't even strong enough to resist my attacks. Me, a C-Level in terms of strength."
"ORA!!!"
*POW*
Aka spits black blood from that punch.
(theme begins)
"ORA!!!"
*POW*
Prince managed to punch the spirit in the face.
"Consider him really lucky, pal," said Josuke. "I increased the probability that Gumball will be saved."
"I-I thought your ability was restoration," said Gumball.
"I can also restore your luck in situations like this," said Josuke. "I can restore other people's luck, Gumball!" he smiled sweetly. "So in case your luck goes down, I'll be there to restore it!I told you... I can fix things!"
Aka rushed toward Gumball as Prince pulled him away and strangled him.
Suddenly, several blue toilet papers appeared around Aka as he grabbed the two Stand-Users. His mask bled with black blood as he vomited with maggots.
The two struggle to get out.
"What do we do now?!" asked Gumball.
"Fix our problem!" shouted Josuke. "HELP!!!"
Gumball screams, "HELP!!!" as well.
Josuke's scream startled an owl outside as the owl flew away and landed on the table of The Fusion.
"WHOA!!!" shouted Finn.
The owl was rather eased by the Fusion. The owl was shown to have one blue eye and one red eye.
"That's kinda weird... heheheh..." laughed Jake. "Yo, Patrick, feed the owl with your tentacle."
"This is kinda bizarre..."
"How come?" asked Finn.
"Owls generally change eye colors depending on when they want to hunt," Jedan said. "But this owl seems mutated..."
"Not on my Earth it isn't," said Finn.
"This is Josuke's doing!" Jedan gasps.
"Huh?" asked the others.
"I thought all he can do is fix things," said Gumball.
"Well, yes and no," said Jedan. "We have to get there!"
The six rush to the bathroom.
"CHOOSE!!!" shouted Aka.
Finn leaped in and attacked with Time Adventure.
"MUDA!!!"
The tentacles strangled Finn as he and his Stand are paralyzed.
Jake turned into a mist as he tried to enter the enemy spirit, but the spirit immediately strangled him.
Darwin
Spongebob and Patrick are captured, too.
(theme ends at 0:44)
"BAHAHAHAHA!!!" laughed the spirit. "I KNEW THAT GUMBALL WATTERSON COULD NEVER DARE TO CHOOSE TO CLEAN HIS ASS THAT WAY!!! THEREFORE, I HAVE WON!!! SHE WILL BE SO PROUD OF ME!!!Now, our fates will be saved from the evil Monster Emperor!"
"She?" asked Josuke. "Astig... I got you to speak..."
"Josuke... What are you-?" Jedan asked, confused.
Everyone else is confused, looking at each other thinking, "WHAT!?".
"You can come out now, Mr. Reaper," said Josuke.
The Reaper appears and takes a sample of the black sludge from the spirit.
"Yep," said Miguel. "Ectoplasm. Same material from the coin.Now, I solved it..."
Miguel disables his Stand as the eight fall to the ground.
Miguel told the story...
"Now, let me explain.
One night, a woman went to the bathroom for your haunting, but this woman had an ability you were rather afraid of. She used this coin..."
Miguel showed the coin with his ghost blood on it.
"With this coin, she blew your body up to pieces. But, you're a ghost, and you can pick yourself up. Unlike these idiots who immediately ran into your range, she was smart, she stayed far away from you, and she used her great precision to throw these coins at you. Since she was more powerful than you and didn't need to be close to you for your tentacles, she bullied you for submission. Eventually, you feared her, and she bullied you to the point where she asked you to get girls for her. I've seen multiple police reports lately that several women did wind up disappearing in this town, but all of them approached that bathroom at one point. And... they disappeared.
You were providing information to the serial killer, weren't you, Aka Manto?"
Miguel sneered.
"Yes," he began to sob. "I JUST WANTED TO HAVE A PEACEFUL LIFE, BUT THIS NUT HEAD KEPT ON BULLYING ME!!! SHE SHOWED ME HER COLLECTION OF HANDS AND DANCED IN FRONT OF ME WHILE THROWING THEM IN THE AIR!!! SHE'S CRAZY, MAN!!!"
"It's okay, it's okay..." said Miguel.
"SO I WAS BAIT!!?" asked Gumball.
"Your Stand makes you immune from injuring yourself. You are basically impervious from all forms of death," said Miguel. "You manipulated probability to save your ass and get yourself out of sticky situations...You remind me of my wife."
"Ugh!" shouted Gumball.
"Not in that way, you dumb cat," said Miguel. "I slipped in some laxatives in your meal knowing that this public bathroom is popular to not have toilet paper since it's a quote-unquote, 'Filipino Cafe'."
"Can I go now?" asked Gumball.
"No... you didn't choose," said Aka.
"Oh! PFFFT!!! I only peed! I didn't even poo!" laughed Gumball. "Aha... Aha..."
Everyone looks at him, looking rather annoyed. Darwin facepalms.
"Wh-... Why am I here, then?" asked Aka. "I sensed a disturbance in the toiletry dimension."
"Yeah, I asked Josuke to slip in some laxatives in your fries," said Gumball.
"I believe I ate those," said Patrick. "And I already did the number two!"
"Wait... why didn't you ask for toilet paper?" asked Aka.
"Toilet paper? HA!!!" laughed Patrick. "Who needs 'em!"
"Ugh!" said everyone.
"Dude, you're not staying in my pocket ever again," said Finn.
"That's where I went last time!" smiled Patrick.
Finn looks in his breast pocket and takes a sniff. "Oh! AW!!! COME ON, MAN!!!"
"And the manager and the pigman?" asked Josuke.
"You take care of that shit," said Miguel. "I'm your boss, not your dad. Go fix their problem if you want. It ain't mine."
"Sir, yes sir!" shouted Josuke, as he ran outside.
"What happened to all that, 'Hay Naku... I, Miguel JoJo, have a dream, Hay Naku... Hay Naku I will bring equality, Hay Naku... I'll bring balance and harmony once I recreated the Universe Hay Naku'?" asked Jedan.
"Stop saying 'Hay Naku'... I don't say that all the time..." said Miguel. "I just want the kid to learn for himself so that he'd be a better hero one day."
"I'm back!" smiled Josuke. "I solved the problem! I made the Lycan have an agreement with the Pigman! Apparently, the Lycan was into something called 'cuckold' and so did the Pigman! Happy ending for everyone! Whatever it was, it's a middle ground, right Mr. Reaper?"
Miguel facepalm. "Hay Naku..."
Miguel turns back to Aka.
"I'll have you exorcised to Heaven. I only need a name."
"Kawajiri!" shouted the spirit. "KOKO KAWAJIRI!!! GET ME OUTTA HERE, MAN!!!"
Miguel slaps his nipple twice.
"PANGU!!! TOGO HAY!!! YAMI TICC MONKE!!! (YOU ARE FREE FROM SIN!!! GO TO HEAVEN, SPIRIT!!! TELL EVERYONE THERE I FRENCH KISSED A MONKEY'S ASS!!!)" he shouted.
*poof*
"Whoa!" shouted Josuke. "What did you say!?"
"I dunno," said Miguel, as he brings out some beer and drinks it. "My old friend Jubby told me to say it. I asked Zed about it, and he had just the biggest smile, and he was like, 'Yeah... that's totally a spell.'Probably something really... really beautiful...I hope my father is proud of me up there of what I just did..."
Meanwhile... in Heaven...
The JoJos are laughing as Aka told them the story.
"I'm telling you guys!" laughed Aka. "He said it! Shouted it even!"
Arthur, however, frowned. "Oh, Miguel..." facepalmed, shaking his head.
Back to Earth Prince...
"I'm sure he is," smiled Finn, patting Miguel on the shoulder.
"Now..." said Miguel.
Miguel turns to The Fusion.
"Hey kids," Miguel said. "I have an assignment for you."
สถานะพลังงานรายสัปดาห์
-- การจัดอันดับด้วยพลัง 
-- หินพลัง