บท 508: 507. Hellsing HR Episode 1: The Time Idiots Acciden...
Reported by: Alfred Pennyworth
File Type: Classified
June 23, Main Year 2051 around 5 PM when this happened on the local Crisis Corps Discord Server where a controversial nationwide incident happened...
The Discord has around several thousand members who all work for Hellsing.
At 12:37 AM, Gabrielle claimed to have been yelled at during work and decided to angrily spam pictures of dildos on the server.
12:38 AM
Prince Josuke: STOP SPAMMING THAT!!! This is an Office SERVER
Gabrielle: Guess what
Prince Josuke: What
Gabrielle: stfu XD XD XD
Gabrielle then proceeded to send a picture of Josuke with a hand-drawn penis on his face. It was rather graphic.
Prince Josuke then proceeded to send a picture of a sad crying baby of African-American origin.
Gabrielle was temporarily banned by Batman.
Prince Josuke: Yay!
Dark: Hey! That's racist!
12:39 AM
Prince Josuke: How is that racist...?
Dark: You used the image of a black person to symbolize yourself crying. THAT'S BLACK WASHING!!! Bonk.
Prince Josuke was then given seven units less for pay for the next day.
Prince Josuke: OY!!!
Dark: yeah... that's right... UNLIMITED DISCORD MOD POWER!!! WRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!
Dark was temporarily banned by Batman.
12:40 AM
Batman: I shouldn't have made him a Mod...
Prince Josuke: Thanks, Bruce!
Bruce Wayne $$$: Anyone called...? Hahahahaha! Yes...! No, no! Batman was the one who did the banning! Isn't that rice, Bruce?*right, Batman.
Batman: I can confirm this to be true.
Prince Josuke: Right! right...
12:41 AM
Gabrielle was unbanned by Batman.
Gabrielle: itch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitchOh, wow! I'm back!
Batman: Yeah. I unbanned you. Don't do stupid shit like that again.
Gabrielle: Okie!
She proceeded to send an emoji of a sad face with two hands pointing their index fingers at each other.
Jotaro: kys
Batman: What are you doing here...?
Jotaro: I was here the entire time to send and present the file of my thesis on the local Evolved Starfish in Bikini Bottom. New Species. But this stupid bitch started spamming dildos.
Gabrielle: I AM A VARIANT OF YOUR DAUGHTER HOW DARE YOU
She proceeded to send an emoji of an angry face sticking its tongue out.
Jotaro: idc kys
Gabrielle: stfu. If Yuri was here, she'd kick your ass.
Jotaro: no
Gabriele: wut i cant find her on Discord y tho
Jotaro: bruh
Bruce Wayne $$$: bruh
Prince Josuke: Bruh
12:42 AM
Patrick: Hey! iz me, guys! yer favorite uglius bastardus! I got mentioned i think
Jotaro: no u didnt
Gabrielle: wth would u call him that
Jotaro: he insisted on it. dont know why
Gabrielle: XD XD XD Go look up Ugly Bastard
12:43 AM
Jotaro: oh wtf
Patrick: ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°
Jotaro: patrick ure trash
Patrick: hey, hey, baby girl
Gabrielle: wtf u talkin to me
Patrick: ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°
Jotaro: I will break your face if you try anything with her. That's the variant of my daughter, you ugly bastard
Patrick: y tho? incest much?
That evening, Jotaro opened a portal into the Jazz Fusion's house and beat Patrick to submission.
12:44 AM
Patrick then sent an image of his injured face.
Bruce Wayne $$$: Lol u suck, Starfish
Batman: I agree. Laugh Out Loud.
Gabrielle: get fucked, creep
Patrick was banned by The Hellsing Organization.
Gabrielle: NARCOS! Stop using that account!
The Hellsing Organization: Sowwy bae...
Gabrielle: I forgive u, beh.
SexyPatricia6469: Luckily I have extra accounts... ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°
Spongebob: ur username concerns me, pat
SexyPatricia6469: Suck it Spongebobus Homosexualus
Spongebob:
Dark2 banned SexyPatricia6469.
Batman: How are you still here?
Dark2: Justice.
Batman: Respect.
Dark was unbanned by Batman.
Dark: YAY!!!
12:45 AM
Jotaro: So... Anyway... here's the file.
Jotaro sent the file at 12:44 AM.
Sandy: Thank you! :3
Pat: Heya guyz! I'm Pat!
Prince Josuke: We know it's you, loser.
Jotaro: Try anything and we'll ban you again.
Gabrielle: Yes, pi
Pat: ok...
Miguel Ibarra ✞✞✞: The above chat funny. Waku waku. :3
Jotaro: Miguel. ^^READ THE FILE ABOVE^^
Miguel Ibarra ✞✞✞: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Mah boy Patrick did it. Here's your 5 units.
Miguel Ibarra ✞✞✞ gifted Patrick 5 units.
Jotaro: You wanna get banned...?
Miguel Ibarra ✞✞✞: Wanna have a go...?
Jotaro: bitch...SUTA PURACHINA!!!
ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA
Miguel Ibarra ✞✞✞: Oh pls... I opened a portal BACK TO YOU!!! GET BACK!!!
Jotaro: NANIIIII!?!?!?
12:46 AM
Gabrielle: You dudes are idiots lmao Hapones and Pinoy be like in World War 2 be like...
Jotaro: Like what...? Finish it, bitch.
Gabrielle: Watatatatata! Get it? Like every martial artist?
Jotaro: That wasn't funny. Plus, low-key racist.
Bruce Wayne $$$: Do u want me to ban you for racism!?
Gabrielle: IT WAS A JOKE ABOUT HIS ORA ORA!!!Plus, Wrong account, bruh.
Jotaro: You also do ORA ORA dumb bitch
Bruce Wayne $$$: *have you banned
Gabrielle: nice save.
Batman: What are you talking about...???
Gabrielle: talking about how u look like black panther
Batman: Woooow... That was actually pretty hurtful. Everyone used to confuse me with this person.
Gabrielle: Sowwy! Pwease forgive meeee! PTOOH!!! NOT RACIST!!! YOU'RE RACIST BECAUSE YOU HATE BLACK PANTHER!!!
Batman: no. And fine. You weren't racist. Sorry. And neither am I.
Gabrielle: Okie! Gud.
12:47 AM
Dark: DID SOMEBODY SAY A RACIST JOKE!?!?
Batman: nononono... False alarm, Dark. False alarm.
The Pope was banned by Dark.
Bruce Wayne $$$: Bruh...
Batman: Brother...
Pat: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! LMAO
Dark: shit
Miguel Ibarra ✞✞✞: BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Oh no... We have witnesses, boys and girls... WITNESSES!!!DELETE EVERYTHING!!! QUICK!!! DELETE!!!
Dark: YOU CAN'T DO THAT HERE!!! THIS IS A WORK SERVER!!!
Miguel Ibarra ✞✞✞: rip
Gabrielle: bruh...
Prince Josuke: Oh dear... We're gonna get canceled...
The Hellsing Organization: rip
Spongebob: oh no...
Dark: WHY WAS HE HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE???
Miguel Ibarra ✞✞✞: Because I'm here.
Gabrielle: HOW DID YOU CONFUSED ME WITH HIM!?!?*CONFUSE
Dark: YOUR EMAIL IS 'VoluptuousPope6969@grimmail.com'!!!
Gabrielle: Oof... Oh no...! I DONT WANNA BE CANCELED AGAIN!!!
Jotaro: Dumb bitch
Intergra Hellsing : HR. All of you. Now.
Pat: Bye...
Integra Hellsing : Patrick C. Star! NOW!!!
They all met with me in the Human Resources Office at 12:50 AM.
-Alfred Pennyworth.
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