บท 458: 458. ~The Golden Bonnie Invasion Part II~
"Finn!? Finn!?" asked Nick. "We've lost Finn..."
*ZOOM!!!*
Miguel, Luz, and Amity look around, and they only see darkness.
"Great..." said Miguel. "Feeling the Quarry vibes, here..."
Luz begins to get worried and she holds Amity's hand.
"The two of you calm down..." said Miguel. His eyes, however, widen out of fear. "Stay close. Both of you."
"Hello."
Miguel squints his eyes. "You... I thought you died."
"Yeah. But I've been waiting for you, Ibarra."
"You had a deal with Cipher... didn't you?"
"Who are you-?" asked Luz, but Amity shushes her.
"Someone powerful is here..." Amity whispered. "She's a witch... like us..."
Miguel activates blue Tao Mandalas while the witches activate purple ones.
Note:Gold=Normal light side with the use of inner peace to strengthen magic.Red=Normal dark side with the use of rage and suffering to strengthen magic.Purple=Gray side with the use of love to strengthen magic.Blue=Divine with the use of love to strengthen magic.Black/Flames=Hellish with the use of hatred to strengthen magic.Green=Temporal-Space with the use of control to strengthen magic.White=No emotion.
Miguel deactivates the Spell of Blindness with the Spell of Truth, revealing Wanda Maximoff flying before them.
In fear, Miguel backs away.
"Girls..." said Miguel. "I need you to-..."
*ZAP!!!*
Nick shoots a bolt of lightning at Wanda, who blocks his lightning bolt.
"Nick!" yelled Miguel. "Stand down!"
Nick, Monroe, the two Marks, the Plantars, the three former Calamity-Users, the two witches, Dipper, Rick, Gabrielle, F.F., Mercuria, Narcos, Yurielle, Shizuka, Irene, and Miguel all face off against Wanda Maximoff.
They're all in an unknown and rocky forest.
"Everyone stand down and use this portal to escape!" yelled Rick, opening a green portal.
However, Wanda immediately says, "What portal?"
It disappears upon those words.
Suddenly, the dancing began in the distance.
Someone with a pink mustache approaches the group and dances to a disco song.
"My baby moves at midnight!Goes right on 'til the dawn!My woman takes me higher!My woman keeps me warm!What you doin' on your bed on your back? Ah!What you doin' on your bed on your back? Ah!You should be dancing, yeah!Dancing, yeah!She's juicy and she's trouble!She gets it to me good!My woman gives me power!Goes right down to my blood!What you doin' on your bed on your back? Ah!What you doin' on your bed on your back? Ah!You should be dancing, yeah!Dancing, yeah!"
Note: Dancing Yeah by Bee Gees.
"Oh fuck..." said Miguel.
Miguel tosses the shields at Wanda, who immediately dusts them away. "RICK!!! NICK!!! GET THEM ALL OUT OF HERE!!!"
Gabrielle activates Go Beyond and Golden Spin, flying toward Wanda.
"WANDA!!! NO!!!" yelled Miguel, as Wanda enters Gabrielle's mind.
Gabrielle opens her eyes to see Miguel and Anne JoJo, her parents, in their living room.
"Hello, Gabby!" smiled Miguel. "You okay? You look like you just had a bad dream!"
Gabrielle smiles welcomely.
Anne looks at Gabrielle, checking if she's okay. "You look like you're unwell. Care for a pizza?" Anne is eating pizza with anchovies.
"But... you never liked fish..." said Gabrielle.
Flickers of reality are shown of her screaming and grabbing her head in pain.
"No... No... This isn't real! THIS ISN'T REAL!!!"
"ORA!!!"
Wanda stops Stone Free's punch almost immediately. "So... This is the power of a Stand. Fascinating. Bizarre...But ultimately, pointless."
She then begins shredding Gabrielle into strings. She screams in pain.
"GABRIELLE!!!" yelled the Crusaders.
*BOOF!!!*
Miguel Ibarra punched Wanda away and disables her curse, healing Gabrielle. "Back off, filthy dark witch."
Wanda's head spins around 180 degrees as her neck breaks.
He warps out his sticks. "Try anything to kill my family... and I won't hesitate to eradicate you."
"That's a bluff. Believe me, I can tell."
Miguel's lips shiver in fear. "I'll still break you... to the point where you can't fight me anymore."
"How can you break what's already broken? You on the other hand... will crack like a bird egg."
"How can you break what's already crumbs of his old self?"
*PEW!!!*
Both sorcerers attack each other at once. She shoots red energy blasts and he shoots blue energy blasts.
"LET'S SONIC THE HEDGEHOG 2 THIS MOTHERFUCKING SHOW!!!"
Miguel spins like Mario and groundpounds Wanda into the ground.
Miguel then T-Poses and dropkicks Wanda. "I CALL THIS ONE, 'THE CRUCIFIXION!!!'"
"ENOUGH!!!" She grabs his head and begins dusting him away, only for him to punch her in the face.
"'Feminism,' my ass! I'll kick the shit out of a woman who deserves it! Especially someone who kills children!!!Y'know... Your Dad, Erik, would be REALLY disappointed when he hears about you."
She then force-chokes Miguel and crashes him around the area.
The first group, with the Crusaders, with Yurielle, Shizuka, Irene, and the two witches face the kinda evil Maximoff.
The other group, who contained the Plantars, the three women, Dipper, and Rick, who is already far away, suddenly encounters Wilford, who dances right in front of them.
"What the HEY!?" asked Hopediah. "Who's this Milagro Frog!?"
"The name's Warfstache! Wilford Warfstache!" he yelled in a funny British accent. "Would you like to be interviewed!?"
Anne Boonchoy is given a sword and tennis racket by Marcy from her backpack as she stabs Wilford, who backs away seemingly in pain.
"Do you just carry these with you!?" asked Anne.
"Can't a woman dream!?" asked Marcy.
Wilford continues dancing around.
"What!?" asked Anne.
Sprig blasts his tongue at Wilford, who spins around his tongue never actually shot out of his mouth.
"I once ate an orange with the peel on!" yelled Wilford.
Wilford takes out a gun and points it at Hopediah.
"WHOA!!!" yelled Anne.
*BANG!!!*
*PCHOO!!!*
Rick's forcefield blocks the attack. "Everyone *burp!* (get behind me)!"
Everyone does so.
"What the heck is that guy!?" asked Sasha.
"That, my friends, is the most dangerous being in the Multiverse that the Jazz Fusion had been apprehending along with the Entity. Wilford 'Motherlovin'' Warfstache," said Dipper. "He can warp reality and stuff..."
"'Wilford Warfstache!?'" asked Sprig.
"'Motherlovin'...!?'" asked Polly.
Dipper takes out a ray gun and points it at Wilford. "Don't worry. A zap with this thing and he'd be pretty much-..."
"DIPPER!!! GET IN HERE!!!" yelled Rick.
It disappears from his hand.
"-...Dead..." Dipper's hand is outside the forcefield. He quickly puts it in.
"Dipper, you fucking idiot," said Rick.
"You ladies wanna join?" smiled Wilford, while the women are grossed out.
"Ugh!" yelled the trio.
"Not you, though! Not the little one! Because she's a kid!"
"I'm a frog!" yelled Polly.
"Your species doesn't bother me, sweetheart..." smiled Wilford. "It's the age, babe!"
"Huh... an oddly attractive supervillain," said Polly.
"Woohoo, babies!" smiled Wilford, dancing. "Anyone wants to die tonight? You! Old dude! You look old and close to death! Wanna die?"
"Uh... No?"
*BANG!!!*
Everyone screams as the bullet bounces back.
Rick sighs. He takes out the Calamity Stones.
"The Gems!? What the hell!? How'd you-!?" asked Anne.
"Ibarra gave it to me. They needed to keep these away from Darkiplier.But right now, you could use these to beat that psycho."
"No. Those things killed Anne!" yelled Sasha.
"Yeah! If any of us dies... We... We just can't go through with that again."
Anne looks at Wilford. Wilford dances left and right, swaying his hips and doing disco moves.
"Fine," said Anne.
"Anne!" yelled Marcy.
"Don't you remember what happened to you!? We watched your body crumble and turn into white leaves!" yelled Sasha.
"I'll still do it."
Meanwhile, Wanda grabs Miguel and crashes him into several trees.
She then summons several tree golems who try to kill Ibarra, but Miguel dusts them all away.
"You're hilarious..." he wheezed. "You really think... that... I'LL GET FUCKED BY THIS!?!?"
Miguel... Don't you even think-...
"I call upon from the deepest depths of the high points of the known Meme Mania... the MOST POWERFUL BEING IN THE MULTIVERSE!!!"
Shaggy appears and bitchslaps Wanda several mountains away.
"What... the fuck!?" asked Wanda, rising from the rubble of the mountains.
Shaggy disappears, as a weakened Miguel falls to the ground. He tries to stand right back up.
"God, shut up, Mom..." he grabbed his head. "You, too, Uncle Romeo... God!"
Wanda floats down in front of Miguel. "You've been chained."
"Yeah. It's called a punishment. Go fuck yourself and eat my penis."
"Maybe I will..."
His penis disappears, and Miguel falls into a fetal position.
"GOD!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! FUCK!!!"
"Where... is it..."
"God... This... I can tell that it's in your mouth right now... This is both the most disgusting and hottest thing I've ever felt in my entire life... Oh... Am I a masochist...!?"
"ORA!!!"
Miguel regains his penis. "Holy... Calamari... Batman..."
"You don't have it..." whispered Wanda, until Gabrielle offers her an ORA Rush.
"I think... he just peed his pants..." said Narcos.
"No..." Yurielle facepalmed. "No, he did not..."
He falls to the ground, happily unconscious.
Gabrielle blasts another ORA Rush.
"ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA!!!"
Nick blasts lightning at Wanda.
Narcos activates his ice armor and ran toward Wanda.
Yurielle takes out her knives.
"Don't do that," said Irene. "Have you heard of how she killed Captain Carter?"
Yurielle sighs and pockets her knife. "What?"
"Well... I can try electrocuting Wanda, but that would require my strings... And she'd shred me like Mr. Fantastic..."
"Maybe I should duplicate that tree over there and crush her in between," said Mercuria.
"I suggest that all of you should stand down," said Monroe. "Sorcerers and Sorceresses are very powerful and dangerous, just like Zauberbiests and Hexenbiests. But Wanda isn't just any Sorceress. She's the Scarlet Witch, destined to rule the whole Multiverse."
"Yeah," said Shizuka. "I agree. We might all get killed at once if we interfere, especially since Ibarra is down."
"I'll just shoot her," said F.F.
"NO!!!" yelled the others.
*PEW!!!*
*ZIM!!!*
Wanda slowly turns to F.F.
Wanda snaps Gabrielle's neck and throws her body at Narcos.
F.F. begins melting.
But, her spell is disabled.
Luz and Amity had worked together to disable the spell.
"Huh... Looks like we have a couple of Stephen's students over here." She floats over to Luz and Amity.
Luz faces Wanda, shivering in fear.
"What's wrong, little witch?" smiled Wanda. "Afraid of your savior?Give me the stones, and I'll let you go."
*ZIM!!!*
A Tao Mandala fully decapitates her arm.
Scarlet Witch slowly turns around.
"YAHARO, BITCH!!! THIS ANTI-TELEPATHIC BARRIER WORKS!!!" Miguel whispers Latin phrases. "Shodero Madi sha, dakadedota Makenta. Nutrientibus, non morsu. (Suck it, don't bite.)" He proceeds to spit on Scarlet Witch's face.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-!!!" Scarlet Witch begins burning in a thousand suns.
"FEEL THE FLAMES OF A THOUSAND SUNS!!!" Miguel punches Scarlet Witch over and over again, while a group of horrified Crusaders (and two witches) watch. "AH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! BURN, WITCH!!! BURN!!!"
"Whoa!" Luz's eyes went sparkly. "Could you teach me how to do that?"
"You've gotta be kidding me, Luz," said Amity, facepalming.
"I'LL CONSIDER IT AFTER BEATING THIS MISERABLE CREATURE!!! BURN!!! BURN LIKE THE INFINITE SOULS IN HELL!!! AH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! SCREW MERCY!!! HEY, KIDS!!! IT'S ME, YOUR OOOOLD PAL AND SAVIOR!!! MIGUEL IBARRA!!! I AM SURE THAT YOU ALL MISS ME, BUT IF YOU DO, JUST REMEMBER THAT I AM GRACEFULLY AND BENEVOLENTLY WATCHING YOU WHILE YOU SLEEP IN YOUR BEDS, PRAYING AND MAKING SURE THAT YOU STAY SAFE, WHILE OF COURSE, I STARE AT YOU WHILE YOU SCRATCH YOUR UNDIES WHEN YOU THINK NO ONE'S LOOKING!!! YOU'RE A SOUL IN A BRAIN WALKING IN A MEAT ROBOT WAITING TO BE JUDGED BY A TERRIFYING ENTITY THAT PRETTY MUCH RULES YOUR ENTIRE EXISTENCE!!! SO!? LIVE A LITTLE!!! EVERYTHING MAKES SENSE, SO LET'S DESTROY NONSENSE!!!AH HAHAHAHAHA!!!
Oh, we'll meet again,Don't know where don't know when,But I know we'll meet again, some sunny day.AH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"
Miguel faints as if he was possessed by something.
"What was that...?" asked Amity.
*GASP!!!*
*cough! cough!*
"FUCK!!!" Miguel wakes up. He talks like he's on crack. "I hate my Mom! *COUGH!!!* And my Uncle! *COUGH!!!* And my Grandparents and everyone in my family... *COUGH!!!* They're hypocrites... Why can't I scold her but they can! You practically abuse her but you blame me as if I'm abusing her when I'm only calmly scolding her. What's up with that you lying disgusting hypocrite? You're a terrible mother! And you're a terrible father! I know that you're watching this from Hell. Haha. Fuck you. What!? Where am I!? Of course, I wasn't abused! I DON'T NEED THERAPY!!!"
"Calm down..." gently said Monroe, grabbing his shoulder. "He took control over your body again..."
Miguel sighs. "Huh... *COUGH!!!* Oh... Oh, wow..."
Scarlet Witch is twitching and having a seizure on the ground.
"Who did?" asked Luz.
"I'm classified as a Divine Avatar. Who do you think, wise young witch?" asked Miguel.
The One Above All watches from... well... above.
Did you really have to do all that?
Sorry... Having a human body again... What a rush... The others had more control over me... This one... This one is weak...
Ugh... Whatever...
Nick prepares to cut her head off with one of his axes.
"Wait!" yelled Miguel. "You shouldn't kill her... That's not her destiny."
"What destiny!?" asked Nick. "She killed thousands!"
"Yeah. But she'll save infinite more. Stand down."
Nick sighs and puts a Mutant Inhibitor Collar around her neck.
*BOOM!!!*
A shockwave was heard.
*WOOSH!!!*
A blue light wooshes in the sky toward them like a comet.
*THUD!!!*
"Any more room for this one?" smiled Anne, as she drops a knocked-out Warfstache.
"Bleugh..." said Wilford, practically in a trance. "I see... birdie blues..."
A portal is opened and the entire group meets up with the other one.
"*BURP!!!* Holy shit... That was annoying to watch..." said Rick.
"You should watch your show and tell me which one is more annoying to watch..." said Miguel. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Ah...I need therapy..."
"I could help you with that!" smiled Sasha.
"Well... Now, what?" asked Anne.
Suddenly, spaceships begin ripping through the atmosphere.
Everyone stares in horror.
Hopediah speaks up. "What... the... f-..."
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