บท 410: 410. Fifth Mission ~Prevent the War~
DISCLAIMER: This series is entirely fictional and hopefully you should understand that I'm only writing this for fun and imagination...
Miguel Ibarra kept on driving around drunk.
Miguel... listen to me. If you keep doing this... You'll destroy your life.
Listen to him!
"Anne had sex with Jed..." said a drunk Miguel. "I have... nothing... I have... nothing..."
MIGUEL!!! LOOK OUT!!!
His little sister, Kayla, is right before the car.
*THUD!!!*
*SPLAT!!!*
Miguel is knocked out.
Later... he wakes up to hear horrified screaming and crying.
"I WANNA DIE!!! OH, GOD!!! I WANNA DIE!!! AAAAH!!! OOOOOOH!!! AAAAA-!!!"
Miguel opens his eyes to see nothing but blood all over. His eyes, upon realizing what happened, die inside.
Wait... This didn't happen...
At least... 'our' Miguel didn't experience this...
MABUS wakes up in a strange hotel.
"*GASP!!!*" he gasped. He looks around and understands his surroundings. "Sorry, Mom... Sorry, Little Sis... Dad..." he whispered.
He stood up with his armor still broken all over.
Did you dream it again?
"Every second of it..." he whispered.
I'm so sorry...
"Yeah..."
You've gone mad... But we didn't give up on you.
"Replacing me isn't very reassuring."
We never replaced you.
"Yeah... keep telling yourself that..."
Josuke puts on a dark blue mask underneath his hoodie. His light blue eyes glow. "Alright... What's the next mission?"
"It says here... we have to prevent a war from happening way over on Miguel's universe," said Gumball.
"We could do that!" smiled Finn.
It is revealed that they stand in the mansion which is still being renovated by Robots.
The whole city is still being renovated by robots.
"Well...?" asked Jake. "Who's the guy we gotta help out and who's the guy we gotta stop?"
Later...
"Hello," said Rasputin Romanov, a tall old white Russian man, who is wearing a suit. He is incredibly muscular around 203 cm tall.
Miguel Ibarra stood in front of the man with the Jazz Fusion behind him.
Rasputin is alone behind his desk.
He offers a drink. "Vodka?"
"No, thank you," smiled Miguel.
Alright... Let's sum it up quickly...
See the red land? The red land is the United Socialist Empire. Its capital is Moscow, Russia. Its four Sub-States are the Soviet Union, China, North Korea, and India. Its current leader is Emperor Rasputin Romanov and it is a state that emerged from the failed anarchist community MABUS created during the third World War of Earth-777. Rasputin Romanov began a socialist movement, first beginning to conquer Ukraine, then the other Soviet nations, and soon recreated the Soviet Union successfully. The four superpowers joined together to become a functioning nation above the anarchist world of Earth-777. Many Ukrainians and other soviet, Chinese, and North Korean puppets, around 150 million of them escaped to the other nation.
See the blue land? The blue land is the Kingdom of New Israel. Its capital is Jerusalem, Israel. Its nine Sub-States are Israel, The Middle East, the Association of Southeast Asian Nations, the Eastern Asian Union, the European Union, Australia, The Polynesian Nations of Oceania, the North American Democratic Union, United Countries of Latin America, and the United Empire of Africa. Its current leader is King Miguel Ibarra and it is a federal Superstate of Maharlica. It is a liberalist country that was joined together by King Miguel Ibarra in order to achieve peace between all nations. The only nation that refused to be peaceful with this country is, of course, the USE.
So... going back...
Rasputin pours some wine into his glass. "I'm actually quite disgusted that you thought this was vodka. It's champagne."
"You said it was vodka," said Miguel.
"I lied. But if you thought it was vodka..." He summons red Spin Bubbles compared to Miguel's golden ones. He then manifests eight more glasses which he pours the champagne in. "Then you really are a racist fuck..."
Everyone gulps except for Miguel.
"AH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" cackled Rasputin. "RA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I 'joke'!!! What brings you to my glorious nation?"
"'Glorious?' People are starving in your streets! But... I won't try to invade you. But I know that you want to invade us. I know it. I can feel it just by looking at you."
"A world where everyone is equal... Wouldn't that be nice?"
"People aren't uniform dolls you could just dress up all in the same life," said Miguel. "They're people who need your help."
"It's my responsibility to keep these people equal."
"People aren't all the same. People are different. They will always be different. And that's the beauty of it..."
"If people are different, people will hate each other. Correct me and change my mind."
Miguel stays silent.
"I am Russian born with... a disorder that makes me... different. And for years, I had to learn to be normal... To be equal with others... To be perfect... There are around 36 mannerisms I could easily do right now... And I don't do it. Because I am normal," said Rasputin. "It is perfection and symmetry that comes true peace."
"No... No, it does not."
"And that right there is the reason why we will have this war..."
The Jazz Fusion hustle and whisper to each other.
"Uh... Emperor Romanov?" said Finn. "Sorry, but what if you don't invade us... and we give you the moon!"
Rasputin laughs. "The fucking moon!? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"
Miguel facepalms.
"No," said Rasputin, with all seriousness. "I will declare war and destroy your pathetic little nation."
"We're four times bigger than your nation," said Miguel.
"I meant metaphorically."
"So, metaphorically, if you own the moon..." said Patrick.
"I DON'T WANT TO OWN THE MOON!!! I WILL HAVE YOUR PATHETIC NATION BOMBED FOR THIS -!!!"
"TRADE!!!" yelled Josuke.
Rasputin listens to Josuke. "Go on..."
"Trade... Yeah! Trading... No war... if... we trade you... MABUS!!!"
Miguel turns to Josuke and squints his eyes.
"MABUS...? Do you know where he is?"
"Well... No," said Josuke. "But we'll find him!"
"Interesting..." said Rasputin. "You're offering us the one who destroyed our nation as our very own prisoner?"
"And we could avoid any war and keep the peace between you and Ibarra! Right...?"
Rasputin stares at Josuke with all seriousness. He breaks into laughter. "AH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! You are funny, Prince of Aswangs! Why have you not been crowned King, yet?"
Josuke sighs.
"Very well!"
Miguel facepalms.
"THREE... DAYS!!! AH HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! THREE DAYS, IBARRA!!!"
Later...
"Alright, fine..." said Miguel. "Alright... Alright... Oy vey..."
"What's wrong?" asked Josuke.
"What's wrong is that you just endangered literally all of the 4 billion people in New Israel." Miguel and the Jazz Fusion are walking in Miguel's neighborhood as people smile and wave to their King. Miguel waves back. A couple of women giggle and look at him as he points at them and clicks his tongue, smiling.
"You're pretty popular, now," said Josuke.
"Yes. Because people are counting on me."
"So, you're doing this for your image?"
"I'm doing this to keep order in my nation. If I get them endangered they go crazy. If they go crazy, the nation's fucked... and we go back to another ten years of anarchy. And you kinda just reassured that that will happen!"
"Well, what do we do now!?"
"Find MABUS, I guess!"
"How...?" asked Finn.
"How the hell do you think...?" asked Miguel.
Later... in the Ibarra household...
Gabrielle "Gabby" Ibarra sat down next to Gumball.
"Hello!" yelled Gabby, waving her hand robotically. "I am Gabby Ibarra! A pleasure to meet you, Cartoon Cat!"
"Uh..." Gumball grabs her hand that is still raised and shakes it. "A pleasure."
"Do you like anime...?" asked Gabby.
Gumball's eyes look left and right. "Well, yeah..."
Gabby stays silent. "Do you like... Transformers...?"
"Yeah!" smiled Gumball.
Gabby stays silent even more.
"Gabby, stop flirting with my coworker," said Miguel, passing by.
"She's doing... She's doing 'what the what,' now?" asked Gumball.
"Score, buddy!" Patrick offers a high five.
"That's our coworker's daughter," said Gumball.
"This is why people don't like you, Gumball."
Spongebob eats a Krabby Patty next to Anne, who is building a boat that is inside a bottle from the outside with a stick and tweezers.
"Can I ride that!" smiled Spongebob.
"No," said Anne.
"So..." said Jedan, as he sighs and walks in. "Who do we need to kill?"
"No one... We just have to arrest 'em," said Anne.
"Alright, team..." said Miguel, walking in. "What now?"
"You said you were gonna research where MABUS is in the Multiverse..."
"No, no... He's here... On this Earth."
"What!? Where!?" asked Josuke.
Later...
In the CoolDudeBus, the group ends up in the same house in the lowlands where MABUS' original family lived in their own universe.
"This was the barn I grew up in," said Miguel, walking outside. "Why'd he come here...?"
Everyone prepares their Stands as they walked out. Miguel shrinks the RV and pockets it.
"I don't know," said Josuke. "But we'll figure it out soon enough."
The group enters a tidied house where everything is neat and clean. The fireplace has a fire burning and beautiful music is playing.
"Hey!" yelled a man, who takes out a bat and prepares to strike them.
The others are shocked to see another Miguel, who has no beard, sunglasses, and long hair.
"MABUS..." said Miguel. "Stand down..."
"What are you talking about...?" said the other Miguel, who puts down the bat. "Leave this place... now... Am I dreaming again...? Where's my family?"
Miguel senses the other Miguel's pain. "Oh... You poor, poor thing..."
"Get away from me!" yelled the other Miguel. "Where...!?" He grabs his head and backs away.
"Look, Miguel..." said Miguel. "Just chill, okay? We'll explain everything."
Everyone is scared of him.
"I didn't mean to..." he began to cry. "I didn't mean to kill Kayla!"
Miguel sighs and gulps. "Is Kayla your sister...?"
"Her body was... Had flies... all over it... Oh, God..." the other Miguel began to cry. "I ran her over... Mom was crying... Dad was looking at me with disgust... And I slept again... And now... Now, I'm here... WHERE AM I!? Am I dreaming...?"
The others don't answer.
"AM I DREAMING!?" asked the other Miguel, about to cry.
The others' Stands appear.
"Whoa, what the fuck are those things!?" asked The Other Miguel.
Josuke tries approaching The Other Miguel.
"Stay away! Why is that giant cat looking at me like that!?" sobbed The Other Miguel.
"There's another guy in your head... Huh...?" asked Josuke.
"What...!?"
"You poor thing..." said Anne.
"Anne...?" asked The Other Miguel. "Why are you dressed like that...? Are you cosplaying as a Hazbin Hotel character? And Jed...? Who are these people...?"
"Look... Miguel... This is gonna sound crazy..." said Miguel. "But you're in another universe."
"What...!?" asked The Other Miguel. "So... That wasn't real...? When I got my family...?"
"No... It's... It's worse..." said Miguel.
Later...
The others sat down with the Other Miguel, who was crying.
"Oh, God... I wanna die..." sobbed the Other Miguel. "I wanna fucking die... Ooh... Oooh... Fucking shit... I didn't want to hurt people... Oh, God... Oh... I don't hurt people! I don't hurt people! I don't hurt!!! I don't kill!!! Oh, God!!!"
The others are horrified by Miguel's story and felt sorry for the Other Miguel.
"Oh... God...Heheheheheheheheheh...No... No, you did this... Oh, shit... Fuck...Yes... What I did... was for us... I saved... us...I have blood on my hands... because of you... NO!!! YOU DON'T DO THAT!!! YOU DON'T GET TO DO THAT!!!But I can... I will... I did...NO!!! NO, SHUT UP!!! AAAAAAAAH!!!" The Other Miguel sobs. "OH!!! OH, GOD!!!"
Later... The Other Miguel slept at the back of the van... Miguel is driving while Josuke is next to him in the driver's seat.
"We can't..." said Josuke. "We can't bring him to Rasputin... All he needs is our help... He doesn't deserve to be imprisoned like that..."
"Shit..." said Miguel facepalming. He stops the CoolDudeBus and walks outside. He warps out a shovel and begins beating a random pole on the street. "FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT!!! FUCK!!! RAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!!!"
He decapitates the pole.
"Hey! That's our cult pole!" yelled a man.
"AND I'M GOD, BITCH!!!" yelled Miguel.
"SHIT!!! IT'S THE FEDS!!!" yelled the man. "PAIMON!!! GET OUTTA HERE!!!"
"Fuck..." Miguel presses a button on his shirt and speaks to it. "We've found the Cultists in my old neighborhood. What? Yeah... Execute 'em. I don't give a shit. Make sure you exorcise the host."
Miguel takes out his sticks as he runs toward some naked cultists. "C'MERE!!! YOU WANT SOME!!!? YOUR HOST OR YOUR KNEECAPS!!! DECIDE NOW, BITCHES!!! Holy shit... Why is there a little girl's head on that pole? You sick fucks... C'MERE!!!"
"Should... Should we help...?" asked Spongebob.
"And fight naked people?" asked Gumball. "Nah...Wanna watch?"
*CRACK!!! SPLAT!!! SPLAT!!! SPLAT!!!*
"OH!!! GOD!!! HE TORE OFF MY PENIS!!!WHY ARE YOU EATING IT!!!"
"I AM ANGRY!!! I AM FUCKING ANGRY!!! RAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!!! RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!!!"
Suddenly, helicopters appear and begin gunning down the cultists.
While this is happening, Miguel begins dancing like Joker and Bully Maguire, psychotically, filled with hatred toward the evilness of humanity. Blood splatters all over his abs as he kept on dancing.
The others are horrified by what is happening.
Later...
"Y'know..." sighed Anne. "You didn't have to have those cultists killed."
"They... They, uh... did the exact ritual in Hereditary. I kinda had to... Those sick fucks," said Miguel. "But before they died, I had to break each of their... uh... kneecaps... and tear their sexual organs outta their bodies."
"You're kinda hot when you're psychotic," smiled Anne. "What did you do with Paimon?"
"I beat the shit outta him and kept him in a snowglobe in the Time Room that Prismo could play with... Also, I went to the Hereditary Universe to save the kid and have him into the Asylum as well... and I had those cultists killed, too, along with the Paimon host in our Earth, who was a woman this time!" smiled Miguel, psychotically.
"You kept Paimon where now...?"
Meanwhile...
Prismo plays with a snowglobe as tiny screaming could be heard.
"FUUUUCK!!!"
"You're fun to shake," smiled Prismo.
"IT'S FUCKING FREEZING!!!"
"Yeah... It's called eternal torture, dude. Sorry."
Prismo shakes the globe again.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! *VOMIT!!!* OH, FUCK!!! OH, GOD!!! I'M SORRY!!! I'M SORRY!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-!!!"
Meanwhile...
"And the other Miguel?" asked Anne.
"I uh... I... Brought him into Arkham," said Miguel. "So he could get some help..."
"Great! So... what, now?"
"I guess the war has to happen now..." sighed Miguel.
"I'm sorry, Mr. Ibarra," said Josuke, bowing his head.
"It's fine..." sighed Miguel. "Because I'm gonna need an army."
Josuke smiled. "I'll do it."
"I didn't mean you... But alright," said Miguel. "Also!" smiled Miguel. "I kicked the director of Hereditary in the balls!"
Anne turns to Miguel. "Wh-... Why?"
Jedan sighs. "Yeah... You need therapy. Did you... DID YOU KNOW THAT THAT'S WHERE THE PAIMON CULTISTS WERE!?"
"They needed to die, Jed..." said Miguel, smiling. "They needed to die..."
I hate Hereditary.
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