"Seven members of the team... People need seven members to participate," said Kariel, reading up the race in the news. "Interesting. I can see why people want to participate. A prize of 10 billion Units.How the hell are we going to take those DISCs back before the president takes it?"
Everyone thinks silently while on the table drinking coffee.
"How 'bout we participate in the race?" smiled Yurielle.
Jack, Johnny, Kariel, Sam, and Antonio all turn to Yurielle.
"La Rosa... You cannot just enter a race and get yourself killed run by a social Patik Presidente... si?" asked Antonio.
"Si, papa. Ma se e 'per il destino del mondo, credo che papa' Arthur e zio Miguel ne sarebbero orgogliosi... (Yes, papa. But if it's for the fate of the world, I believe Papa Arthur and Uncle Miguel would be proud...)"
"Io capisco... Io comprendo... Promettimi che tornerai presto sano e salvo. (I see... I understand... Promise me you'd be home soon while safe and sound.)" replied Antonio. "Ti amo, mia rosa. (I love you, my rose.)"
"Ti amo, papa," smiled Yurielle.
"Prometto che saremo al sicuro. (I promise that we'd be safe.)" said Kariel.
"Mama mia, where is mah pizza?" Johnny said with a whispering sexy voice.
"Do that again and NO PIZZA FOR YOU, BASTARDO DALLA FACCIA DI TESCHIO!!!"
"I don't know what that means, but that sounds hurtful," said Johnny.
"We need two more members," said Kariel, standing with Jack, Yurielle, Sam, Johnny, and Antonio in the Rangercave.
"Who?" asked Jack. "Some random brother from the streets?"
"No," said Sam. "We have to know that this person is willing to help us and is in fact on our side. We can't just pick someone off the streets."
Kariel fake cougs and Yurielle squints her eyes.
"We could call Gabrielle," said Yurielle.
"Who?" asked Jack.
"Who?" Jill asked in his head.
"I don't know. That's what I just asked them."
"Gabrielle. She's the lone head of the Hellsing Organization... She could help us out," said Yurielle.
"I thought the Hellsing Organization didn't have a current head is Bruce?" asked Sam.
"Gabrielle inherited it," said Kariel.
"How long ago? Isn't she twenty?"
"Nineteen," corrected Kariel. "She inherited it last night after killing off Tooru, The Dark Quartz Boss's Adviser. Then the Dark Quartz Organization just went public last month around the time I was stabbed by Prince Kenneth Bowes-Lyon."
"You mean-?" asked Sam.
"Yep. Queen Elizabeth II's adoptive great-nephew."
"Yeah... I guess that's a good idea, Yuri," said Kariel.
"Wait, ain't she nineteen?" asked Jack. "What does she know, anyway?"
"She's homeschooled but she's currently Burnham's most successful P.I. who uncovered an entire underground organization that went on for millennia and the owner of the multiple worlds' most powerful organization that even Stark Industries and Wayne Enterprises cowers before. What do you think?"
Yurielle speaks to her phone. "Gabrielle JoJo."
Yurielle calls Gabrielle with her phone.
"What, now!?" asked Jack. "Isn't she busy or whatever?"
"She has time for family."
Meanwhile...
Bruce and Peter are watching Star Wars in the Reapercave.
"It's pretty weird that Obi-Wan took Luke in even after his Dad slaughtered everyone he knew," said Peter.
"Yep," said Bruce. "I never really... understood that."
They silently stared at the screen and watched.
"You knew that I wasn't Quill, right?"
Bruce thinks for a second. "Battleworld?"
"Yeah."
"Yeah... To lure you in... I decided to call for Quill instead. Obviously, after what happened to the Guardians, he won't come, because he doesn't blame me for what happened... The Peter who blamed me was you."
Peter nods. "I'm... Sorry that I did blame you."
"Water under the bridge, Peter," smiled Bruce. "I'm sorry that May still died in this timeline."
"It's okay, Mr. Wayne." Peter pauses. "Why'd you pick me?"
"Because I needed you. I knew that you were the only one compatible with the Life Equation. Reading your file, it made sense... The Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man. The boy who did everything for Stark. Before we met, you made everyone in your world forget about you. And I thought, 'someone psychotic enough to make everyone forget themselves? Forget Quill, this guy's awesome!' So I picked you, Parker. Someone insane enough to do that. Luckily, Jon Jones was there to bring the memories back of the people you love."
"So... you just needed me?"
"Yeah..."
Peter pauses. "Why'd you pick me again? Why am I still here?"
Bruce sighs. "I don't know... Probably because... you... mean.. something... to me."
Peter smirks. "Whoa, whoa, whoa... Did I just make The Batman feel something for me?"
"Be quiet."
"Should I call you Dad, now?"
"Peter..."
"Hey, Dad! Wanna play catch?"
"Don't press it when you don't know what the button does, Parker."
They stay quiet.
Bruce sighs. "Just know that you're a good kid, Peter."
"Thanks..." said Peter. "You're a good... guy..."
"No, I'm not. I can never be."
*All the way! To fuckin' victory town! All the way-!*
(Song by Schomoyoho and jacksepticeye)
Bruce takes the phone and speaks to it. "Yellow?"
"Uncle Bruce?" asked Yurielle on the phone.
"Who is it?" asked Peter.
"It's Yuri," said Bruce to Peter. "Why'd you call Gabrielle's work number?"
"Because we need her help," said Yurielle. "We know where the DISCs are... But we need your help."
"What do you need?"
"Two people that would aid us in the Steel Ball Run," said Yurielle. "An' a checkpoint team to help us out."
"I'll call Gabrielle."
Bruce turns to Peter. "Call Gabrielle."
"You do it," said Peter.
"Come on, Parker. Do it for your dad."
Peter sighs. Peter's goggles contract as he walks away and into the Reapercave elevator.
"Peter is going to call her... Why are you joining the Steel Ball Run."
"We found that the race'll take place in the locations where Tooru placed our ancestor's DISCs."
"Interesting."
"I'm here!" Gabrielle appears in front of Bruce.
"Listen to this," said Bruce. "Your cousin knows where the DISCs are."
Gabrielle is handed the phone.
"Wait, do you really?" asked Gabrielle.
"Yeah," said Yurielle. "They have it in Steel Ball Coun'y."
"Really!?" asked Gabrielle. "Like... all five Steel Ball Counties?"
"Pertty much," smiled Yurielle.
"'Pretty much,'" corrected Kariel.
"Would ya stop that, Daddy?" asked Yurielle.
"When I die, I'll stop that," said Kariel.
"We'd happily aid you as the Checkpoint Team... Us... the Stardust Crusaders,"
"Alright, alright," sighed Yurielle. "An' the two members?"
"Hm... I know someone who'd be handy for your team," smiled Gabrielle. "Hey, F.F.!!!"
"Yo!" smiled F.F.
"Wanna do a race?" smiled Gabrielle.
"Chugging race!?" smiled Foo Fighters.
"No... No... I nearly died last time when we-..." Gabrielle sighs and facepalms. "A race to find five DISCs hidden by Tooru."
"It says here," said Bruce. "That each team member would have to find a Steel Ball hidden in all five Counties."
"Are you willing to -?"
"I like trying new things!" smiled Foo Fighters. "Will I finally learn to throw things?"
"Sure," said Gabrielle.
"Yay!"
"You have F.F.," said Gabrielle to Yurielle.
"Really? The Pond Plankton Girl?" asked Yurielle. "Anyone else in particular?"
"I have a good idea who," smiled Gabrielle.
Later...
A portal opens and Foo Fighters walks out from it, meeting the current group.
"Hey, hey!" Foo Fighters does a couple of peace signs.
"Welcome to the group, Foo Fighter," Kariel shakes her hands.
"Foo Fighters," corrected Foo Fighters. "You can call me F.F.!"
Suddenly, a sack is thrown by Rick from a green portal into the dining room. The sack has someone screaming muffledly in it.
"DARK MOON!!!" he yelled.
*THWIP!!!*
He cuts the sack open and he gasps for breath.
It's Dark.
Dark points his katana, Dark Moon, at the group. Everyone prepared their Stands and weapons.
"I was in the middle of masturbation," said Dark. "How dare you... You kidnapped me while touching myself! Who are you, anyway!?"
"John, it's me, Kariel," said Kariel.
"Oh, right... My adoptive brother," said Dark. "Whatcha gonna do, big guy? Shoot me?"
"I can," said Kariel. "But I won't. Because I heard you could slice bullets."
"And I heard you could curve them."
Dark circles around Kariel while holding up his blade at him.
"Well, Dark?" asked Kariel. "Are you going to join us?"
"Oh! Oooooh! I thought you kidnapped me to have a threesome with me!" sighed Dark. "Thank God!"
Dark puts down his katana.
*BANG!!!*
*DING!!!*
The bullet is cut in half by Dark's katana. He blocked the bullet from behind.
"Why?" asked Dark to Kariel.
"To see if you could do what they say you could."
*BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG!!!*
*DING DING DING DING DING DING!!!*
Dark successfully blocks all six bullets.
"What can you do?" Kariel turns to Foo Fighters.
Foo Fighters tosses five glasses in the air.
Foo Fighters' fingers open up and she shoots bioluminescent plankton from each finger.
*PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW!!!*
She blasts all five glasses into exploding dust.
She blows on her fingers and winks at the group with another peace sign.
"So... what's this circus freak show called?" asked Dark.
"Ooh! Ooh!" smiled Jack. "I know! We should call ourselves... The Stardust Rangers."
Everyone stares at Jack, then they laugh.
"Sure, Jack, sure," laughed Jill in his head.
"Sounds like a Crusader Turkey Sandwich Rip-Off Special," said Johnny.
"Okay... Okay!" snickered Sam. "Rookie's naming us now."
"HAHAHAHA!!! YOU ARE STUPID, CHILD!!!" cackled Antonio. "ESTUPIDO!!!"
Yurielle snickers softly.
Foo Fighters laughs out loud. "Why are we laughing!?"
"HAHAHAHA!!! AHAHAHAHAHA!!! HE THINKS HE HAS POSITION TO NAME OURSELVES!!!" cackled Dark. "We are highly trained unbiased assassins who had years of experience. Leave the naming to us, rookie."
"I like it," said Kariel. "It sounds awesome."
"I agree," said Johnny.
"Yep," nodded Sam.
"Si... Si... Questo w un buon nome per la squadra," nodded Antonio.
Yurielle nods respectfully.
Foo Fighters is still laughing.
"Good namin', brother," said Jill in his head.
"Right..." said Jack. "Great name..."
"Shut the fuck up, Jack," said Jill. "I'm kidding."
"Yeah! I'm kidding, too!" yelled Foo Fighters, angrily.
"We're going to fucking die," sighed Jack.