บท 269: 269. Knights of the Round Table ~Umbop~
Gabrielle enters the alleyway. She goes left, right, left, then right again. She then begins to see some strange stores along the brick walls. They all creepily stare at her. She reaches the store at the end and sees the last store, a store filled with copper medallions all over the tables.
"Aling Delilah," said Gabrielle. "Magandang gabi."
"You're here for the book you've been saving for?" asked Delilah, an overweight yet young-looking and beautiful old woman. She had gray hair and wore a red flower-patterned scarf over her head. She wore a purple cloth around her body with tribal patterned baro and saya. She has long purple fingernails and she had a pet, a native crow.
"*SQUAWK!!!* The Rock Organism Encyclopedia! The Rock Organism Encyclopedia! *SQUAWK!!!*" The crow's eyes twitch.
"Yep," said Gabrielle. "The copy I have at home was my father's, but it was incomplete. Apparently, he wrote another book that he sold to you to pay for my tutoring?"
"Yes. That he did, Gabrielle JoJo," said the old woman. She woges into a Hex, an ugly zombified hag. She hisses and creepily stretched her jaw inhumanly. It shakes as her ugly teeth wriggle in her gums. "Yes..." she sniffed. "Aswang... No... wait..." She takes a good look into Gabrielle's eyes. "A Grimm as well... Very interesting... How do you wish your payment shall be? A soul? A fetus? A curse? Or... *giggles...* have your way with me?"
Gabrielle turned red. "N-... No thanks! I just want to pay with units."
"Indeed. Very well..."
The woman woges back to normal and places the very large and thick book on the table.
"50 units," she said.
"What!? Get outta town! That's worth a whole apartment!"
"Pay up or leave. I've got all day," said the old woman.
Gabrielle rolls her eyes and takes out her Unit Watch, a watch with a small screen on it. She scans the old woman's Unit Watch and they exchange Units.
The old woman gives the book to Gabrielle. "So long, young one."
Gabrielle carries the book and walks out of the alley.
"Never look back!" cackled the old woman. After Gabrielle leaves the alleyway, the alleyway is revealed to have never existed in the first place.
Before...
"Remember, baby..." said Miguel. "Go left, right, left, then right again."
"Okay... But... What if I get lost?" asked a younger Gabrielle.
"You won't. You're a smart little girl, after all. Just know that you should always think before you act..."
"What if I forgot to think?"
"You're a JoJo, Gabe... JoJos always know how to get out of any sticky situation," Miguel brushed her hair rather sweetly like a doll. Miguel leans in and whispers."Like when your mother tries to get you into those weird K-Drama shows she likes."
A paper cup is tossed into Miguel's head as it drops on the ground.
"Ow! Hey!"
"I can hear you!"
"You could've used your own hands instead of your Stand! God! It's like being shot by a gun but it's loaded with scrunched-up paper. Or when a rubber band is flicked to your forehead..."
Miguel smiles and gives her a locket with an eye on it. It's her Dad, Mom, Raphael, Iggy, and her, all sitting together.
Now...
Gabrielle looks at the locket her father gave her. She giggles softly. Gabrielle whispered songs under her breath. "Ah... another day and I'm already lost - defeated... In a world so wonderful the voices crowd the city... So again I will pretend that I cannot hear them shrieking... 'Cause I'm going crazy..."
Mercuria licks her finger and flips to the next page. She then sips her tea.
Mercuria sighs angrily. "You know, you two could still help, right!?"
Gabrielle and Narcos spend time playing Luigi's Mansion 5 on the Switch.
"Damned Hammers!" yelled Gabrielle. "Huh? What? Yeah... Later."
"I don't understand the game... exactly..."
"You're not supposed to. Well, you do... But... you know!"
"Gabrielle!" yelled Mercuria.
"I can't believe I'm beating you in this game!" smiled Narcos. "If this game was your skirt, I'd be in it."
"You should really lay off those innuendos."
"...What innuendos?"
"NO!!!" Gabrielle loses the game, getting killed by a red brick ghost. "Ugh! Fine! What have we got?"
"Apparently, there are more creatures than just Rock Humans. Rock Insects, Rock Snakes, Rock Dogs, Rock Cats, Rock Tigers, and so much more."
"So... What? They were made by the Gems or whatever?" asked Gabrielle.
"That's the thing. When I called Steven, earlier, he asked the Diamonds, and they genuinely have no idea what he was talking about."
"So... alternate Gems?"
"Rick said that there is only one version of Gem in the 4th World that survived the Gem Wars, and that's them. And the war happened way before the creation of the Rock Organisms. So we still have nothing on Narcos."
Narcos begins to gain rashes as he itches constantly.
"What happened to you?" asked Gabrielle.
"I ate this mango and I began itching like crazy," said Narcos. "Also... I kinda want some honey..."
"Hay Naku..." sighed Gabrielle, as she grabs some honey from the fridge and places it on the table.
Suddenly, Narcos rubs the honey on his rashes.
"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!?" asked Gabrielle. "THAT'S GOOD HONEY-!!!"
Suddenly, all of his rashes slowly regenerate.
"What the-?"
"It says here that Rock Humans like honey," said Mercuria. "Probably because they latch onto wasps or bees than act as parasites during the time they're young."
"You genocided a wasp nest?" asked Gabrielle.
"Again. I don't remember," said Narcos. "I'm an amnesiac. Whoa! I love rubbing this sticky stuff on my skin! I kinda feel pleasure when I play around with it."
"Ew," said Mercuria.
"Hi, an amnesiac. I'm Gabrielle JoJo."
"That's not funny," said Narcos.
"Only because you're a loser who is uncultured and has amnesia."
"Screw you! If you were a child, I'll spank you hard!"
"Why the hell are you two fighting!?" asked Mercuria.
"I don't know!" yelled Gabrielle.
"She keeps losing in the dumb game that I don't understand," said Narcos.
"IT'S A MASTERPIECE THAT MY FATHER CHERISHED AND WE PLAYED IT TOGETHER!!! UGH!!!" Gabrielle stomps away.
"If you like her, wear her Dad's cologne," said Mercuria. "Oh, look!" smiled Mercuria. "The Dragon Clad? They're downtown near a really bad neighborhood. Apparently, they each wield a Hive Rock Insect called Umbop. And! There's a police report with their leader having connections with the guy we're after: The Improbable Man."
"You gotta stop overusing the word 'apparently,'" said Gabrielle."Because apparently, you're trying to sound smarter than the Diaries."
"Hmph..."
"Well... I guess I should be going."
"Can I join?" asked Narcos.
"But you're the victim. According to Maharlican law, our job is to serve and protect you."
"Oh! Right!COLDPLAY!!!"
A blue muscular humanoid Stand with two large angry white eyes emerges from Narcos. It wears nothing but two pieces of white cloth for underwear.
"COLDPLAY!!!"
Coldplay, his Stand, flexes its muscles as it lightly taps Mercuria's cup of tea.
Mercuria, for some reason, can no longer sip her tea but is met with a chilling sensation on her upper lip.
"Huh..." said Mercuria. "So, not all Stands look the same."
"That's what you're impressed with?" asked Narcos.
"Isn't freezing like a basic Stand Ability?" asked Gabrielle.
"Well..."
"Fine," sighed Gabrielle. "We're going. All three of us."
"Cool," said Mercuria.
"Alright," said Narcos.
Later...
In the slums of Dahlia Street stood a rather shifty-looking mansion with Chinese decora around. It also has two Dragon statues facing them.
Gabrielle sighs. "Welp... shall we?"
*knock knock*
She grabs the ring doorknob and knocks it twice. The large doors slowly open as they entered.
They look around to see chopsticks everywhere that are mysteriously stuck on the ground like graves.
"This is kinda freaking me out," said Narcos, shivering in fear as they entered the front yard.
They then enter the main mansion in the center of the yard.
The trio sat before a desk and met up with a beautiful young-looking middle-aged woman wearing a red and expensive Chinese outfit.
"Chu Hua of the Wu Family. Ruler of the Northern Slums. My father tried hard to destroy your reign. I promised him that I'd one day take you down... But for now, I have a question," said Gabrielle. She sits before her. "Who is the Improbable Man?"
"The Diaries said that you have connections to the Rock Humans." Mercuria wrapped her hand around the back of her chair."
"And you spoke with the Improbable Man a week ago," said Narcos.
"We'd like to know who he is," said Gabrielle.
"Ah... I know why you are doing this, JoJo..."
"Why so?" asked Gabrielle.
"You're trying to become a cop... a hero... just like your father. Desperate to prove yourself worth after your horrible mistakes in your life... bringing shame to the JoJo family... changing your name to Ibarra... Especially with that child growing in you..."
Gabrielle's eyes widen as her eyes quiver.
"You? You... what?" asked Narcos.
"Wait... What the fuck!?" asked Mercuria. "You're pregnant!?"
"Yeah," said Gabrielle. "So?"
"I don't know! You're pregnant, Gabe!" yelled Mercuria. "We can't risk your child while you fight off Stand-Users! What if you'll get a miscarriage?"
Narcos' eyes quivered. "Who's the father?"
"I have an idea who he is... I stopped all contact with him," said Gabrielle. "Mom got really mad at me... Left home to figure things out."
"How long?" asked Mercuria.
"One month and a half. I started vomiting two weeks ago around the time we met...I figured it out through a pregnancy test. I was... afraid to take it... But I just felt like I needed answers... Here I am," said Gabrielle.
"A homeschooled girl who never had proper education getting knocked up? Why am I so surprised?" asked Chu Hua.
"Screw off you triple-deluxe fuck-face and tell us where The Improbable Man is!" Gabrielle hammers the table with her fists.
"Mighty Gabrielle JoJo... How the mighty have fallen before they could even climb," sneered Chu Hua.
"Stop talking!" yelled Gabrielle. "GIVE ME ANSWERS!!!"
Stone Free emerges from Gabrielle and prepares its fist.
"Gabrielle!" yelled Mercuria, trying to stop Gabrielle.
Narcos merely squints his eyes.
"If you don't I'll take this entire establishment down TO BURNHAM'S OWN STONE OCEAN!!!" growled Gabrielle.
"Says the woman who built her own stone ocean..." sighed Chu Hua. "Trapping yourself in early motherhood. Pity."
"GIVE ME HIS NAME!!!"
"She doesn't have it," said Narcos. "She's trying to buy time for something. GABRIELLE!!!"
Gabrielle gasps as a single chopstick is shot toward her head.
*THWIP*
Coldplay immediately catches the single chopstick. Cartoonish eyes pop out from the single chopstick. A tongue darts out from the "chopstick" and hisses with its forked tongue.
"COLDPLAY!!!"
Coldplay shoots out ice spikes at the woman with his Stand, tossing it like blades as the woman tosses another chopstick at Narcos. His Stand catches it.
Chu Hua points at the trio as the creatures, the multiple chopsticks, dart themselves toward the three.
Stone Free slowly emerges out of Gabrielle's body and roars. "ORA!!!"
Kiss duplicates Mercuria's hands. Kiss blasts its own four fists toward Chu Hua, who backflips and tosses a chopstick like a knife at Mercuria.
Mercuria fails to catch it and gets stabbed in the arm.
Narcos then blasts three more frozen spikes at Chu Hua, who tosses chopsticks at Narcos over and over again.
One stick managed to stab Narcos' shoulder. Narcos turns to it and sees that it transforms into an odd-looking anthropomorphic stick insect with large cartoonish eyes.
"OW!!! HER WOOD PENETRATED MY HOLY VIRGIN TEMPLE THAT IS MY BODY!!!" yelled Narcos. "Wait... Oh, dear God. I hear it now. Have I been talking like this all day!?"
The tip of the stick is its beak, as it sucks Narcos' blood. Narcos grabs it and crushes the creature.
Chopsticks are tossed toward Gabrielle who gets stabbed in the belly.
"PULL THAT DAMNED WOOD OUT OF HER WOMB!!!" yelled Narcos.
"Jesus Christ," said Gabrielle. "I could feel the egg crawling back from that one."
He then angrily blasts his fist into Chu Hua's face as she crashes into the wall and out of the room.
Several ninjas outside woge only their heads into Eastern Dragons and take out chopsticks. They appear from the roof and the ground, surrounding all of them. They all wear black uniforms with red dragons on their shoulders. Their masks are their Erstewoges, which are their heads in the form of Eastern Dragons.
"Is our baby okay!?" asked Narcos.
"Duh," said Gabrielle. "She just shot my stomach. I'll walk it off."
"'Our?'" asked Mercuria.
"Well... Duh... the three of us are gonna help each other on raising it..." said Narcos.
"What? You think I can't handle it?" asked Gabrielle.
"Not at all," said Narcos. "But kids do need dads, too. We'll be the dads the kid doesn't have."
"Aw... That's actually kinda sweet," said Gabrielle.
"Why am I a Dad?" asked Mercuria.
*THWIP*
Another stick is shot toward Gabrielle's head as Coldplay catches it.
"God, you're careless. This is why you always lose in that damned game! You never watch your-...BACK!!!"
*THWIP*
Narcos grabs the chopstick that was shot toward Gabrielle's head as Narcos crushes the stick.
Gabrielle angrily charges toward Chu Hua as several chopsticks are tossed and curved toward Gabrielle.
Narcos manages to block all of the chopsticks with his ice spikes.
"STOP BEING A DITZ!!! I'LL SCREW YOU..."
Gabrielle is weirded out by Narcos.
"... OVER!!!"
"What's with the weird pause!?"
"I was gonna sneeze but I didn't!" Narcos bowed his head in shame. Gabrielle gets stabbed in her arm. "PAY ATTENTION!!!"
"Sorry!" yelled Gabrielle. "Why are we fighting again?"
"I will never tell you who the Improbable Man is!" said Chu Hua. "FIRE!!!"
"Oh, yeah... That..." said Gabrielle.
Several ninjas blast their chopsticks toward the Trio as Narcos blasts several ice spikes that instantly struck and broke every stick going toward them as he curves the ice spike's trajectory and shot them at each of their heads, killing fifty men and women.
All the Eastern Dragons woge back to normal and drop to the ground, dead.
(theme begins)
Chu Hua sighs and woges into an Eastern Dragon as she turns into a giant snake-like creature with large humanoid arms and a Chinese-dragon-like head with an upper-body of a female humanoid. She has beautiful red scales all over that glimmer in the sun above them. She has two large black curving horns similar to a Ram's with a rectangular-featured face.
She roars and charges at the trio, swimming in the air like a snake as she prepares to bite at the trio. Gabrielle grabs and pushes Mercuria out of the way as the Dragon Lady bites Gabrielle. Gabrielle simply grabs her jaws as Stone Free emerges and grabs the snout and prepares to tear it wide open. Suddenly, a firecracker-like spark crackles from her tonsils in Gabrielle's face as her throat blasts
Chu Hua uses her arms and tail to shoot several chopsticks at the trio as Narcos deflected each of these sticks with his ice spikes.
Chu Hua then slithers and dances in the air as she blasts another firecracker bullet at them.
Narcos immediately freezes the blast before it reaches his face.
Chu Hua then spins and tosses ten chopsticks toward Gabrielle's womb as Narcos pushed her away and gets stabbed by five chopsticks in the chest.
"RAUGH!!!" cried Narcos, as he hissed and woged, showing a rock-like face.
"Rock Human," whispered Chu Hua. She opens her mouth as she prepares to exterminate Narcos, whose wounds Mercuria tends.
Gabrielle then blasts Stone Free's punch at Chu Hua's face.
"Stay away from him," Gabrielle hissed as Stone Free yelled, "ORA!!!"
"What can you do... foolish pregnant girl? You see... Your problem is that you act without thinking beforehand... Now you've gotten your little friend nearly killed. What can a foolish idiot girl like you do?"
(theme ends)
Gabrielle squints her eyes as she looks around for a solution. Gabrielle eyes the locket on her necklace and sighs. She deeply inhales and breathes out.
"Propulsion. Your chopsticks could curve earlier toward me to try and kill me," said Gabrielle, pointing at Chu Hua. "They don't seem to serve you... They just seem to be designed as mindless weapons that are shot at their opponents. Am I correct?"
Chu Hua sees some sort of white string in her pocket.
Suddenly, bundles of chopsticks are tugged out as the string moved like a tentacle and pulled the bundle
Chu Hua's eyes widen.
*THWIP THWIP THWIP*
(theme begins)
Several chopsticks from Chu Hua's pocket are flung toward Chu Hua's face as holes appear all over her face.
String tentacles are shot toward the dragon lady who shoots another firecracker bullet about the size of a nickel, which nearly explodes in Gabrielle's face, but she manages to kick Chu Hua's face away.
Stone Free then spins and blasts its fist into Chu Hua's face. Gabrielle's Stand then tosses the Rock Insects at Chu Hua.
Chu Hua spins and slithers and goes for Gabrielle's neck, but Stone Free punches Chu Hua away.
Chu Hua then grabs Gabrielle's leg and tears it off...
"NO!!!" yelled the pair: Mercuria and Narcos.
"WRYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!" yelled Gabrielle, as it is revealed that her leg reconnected by webbing itself back to her hip as she kicks Chu Hua in the neck with her high heel, as Chu Hua's throat is punched open with a hole the size of a Five Centavo coin.
*SPLAT*
The hole in her throat leaks blood and plasma. She lands on the ground as she slithers around and hisses. She then woges back to normal. Her clothes magically shift back as she growls on the ground. She hisses and grabs the wound in her neck as she howls in pain.
"Hay Naku..." sighed Gabrielle. "How sad... You have nothing to give me..."
"You are in no position to do this to me..." hissed Chu Hua.
"ORA!!!"
Stone Free launches its fists from its arm like a hooked string.
"I think I'm in the perfect position to do this to you..." sneered Gabrielle. "Hm? Maybe a bit to the right..."
(theme begins 1:14)
Stone Free then blasts its fists into Chu Hua's face over and over. "ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA!!!WRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!BUENA BUENA BUENA BUENA BUENA BUENA BUENA BUENA BUENOS DIAS PERRA!!! BUENA!!!"
*BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG POW POW POW POW POW POW*
(theme ends at 1:46)
Chu Hua drops to the ground as she rolls around and crashes into the fence as she crashes into the next building away.
Sirens go up.
"Let's go," Gabrielle said nervously as she ran away.
"Sure thing!" yelled Mercuria, following after.
"I'll catch up to your butts on that one," said Narcos, as he followed after. "I should stop talking..."
"STOP TALKING!!!" yelled the two women.
"Sure! I'll shut my ass up while you open yours! MOUTH!!! I MEANT... OPEN... YOUR MOUTH!!! Oh, Goddamn it!"
"NARCOS!!!"
"I'M SORRY!!!"
สถานะพลังงานรายสัปดาห์
-- การจัดอันดับด้วยพลัง 
-- หินพลัง