บท 247: 247. The Last Supper
"Get in the sack, Superman!" asked a mysterious cosmic figure.
Clark smiles. "Why?"
"I'll place you somewhere where you can meet your dead space parents!"
"Oh! Sure!"
Superman gets in the sack.
"With Superman, I can now purchase Warner Bros.! Haw haw haw haw!!!" The figure cackled. It has two circles for ears and a mouse-like face. The figure then wears a hood. "RAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" it cackled with a dark and evil booming voice.
Clark wakes up in the middle of the night. "Huh..." he said. "That was weirdly terrifying..."
"So... you're also a Time-Stopper?" asked Miguel.
"Yes..." Jotaro smiled.
"How interesting," said Giorno. "Infinite versions and we met a version of Jotaro who is also a time-stopper. What are the odds?"
"There are infinite versions of universes and every single one of them has Chimichangas," said Deadpool. "Not impressed."
"How do you know that?"
"I saw it in the Beyondverse."
"The what?"
"Beyond-What?"
Giorno squints his eyes. "Hm."
"So... If you're outside the Universe, you can be brought back?" asked Jotaro.
"Not exactly," said Miguel. "You have to be still inside the Omniverse, which is a collection of infinite Multiverses, which is a collection of infinite Universes. Now, if your Universe is destroyed you have to be in a different Universe that you don't belong in to be able to come back. Those that were killed via Universal Erasure could also come back via this wish. But if you die outside the Omniverse, which includes the Edge of Everything and other places that are outside the Omniverse, you die."
"So... What's the plan?" asked Bruce.
"The plan is that I suggest we split into two groups. According to sightings with my allies, Spongebob and Patrick, Stefan has all the Prime Arks from each Prime Universe that aren't destroyed. One group has to sneak into Stefan's place and take the Prime Arks he has. The other group has to stay on Earth and fight off Stefan's army who is planning to invade Earth."
"Prime Arks?" asked Giorno.
"Spongebob and Patrick?" asked Peter.
"They're my homies," smiled Prince Josuke. "We travel around Universes to save people and nowadays we do stuff like spy on possible bad guys."
"Cool!"
Clark reads the paper. "What's all this talk about you killing off the President of the United States?"
Miguel sighs. "It's complicated."
"It says here you colonized the United States. You had an entire American state bombed," said Clark. "Is... that true?"
"I... killed someone... because he was doing something that could've killed millions. So... I had to kill him because of how awful he was... And conquer your nation... So that America would realize they would have to stop."
"So... he was a bad guy," said Deadpool.
"There are no good or bad guys... Just good or bad actions..." said Miguel. "That's what I believe."
"I could drink to that," said Bruce.
"Me, too," said Giorno.
Clark and the others who are Americans squint their eyes.
The group looked at Miguel with an awkward silence.
"If Captain Rogers were here, he'd have a field day with this one," said Peter.
"Uh... Oh! Guys! Look!" smiled Anne. "I've got a report on Stefan! The boys said that Stefan's army is going to be attacking in two weeks!"
"We have to get there now," said Bruce.
"Really, now?" asked Miguel. "Because I can see that you sure are ready."
Bruce is still bruised by Stefan's ambush.
"Broken ribs. Bruises everywhere. Look, bud," said Miguel. "I've read about you when I was a kid. And I know that when you fight, you don't stop fighting. But I think that it's best for you to not fight right now.We have two weeks before Stefan approaches our Empire. We're gonna need to set up an army and-..."
"What about Lord?" asked Josuke, healing Bruce.
"How did you -?" asked Bruce.
"Ah... No, kid," said Miguel.
"Mr. Reaper... I know you fought-..."
"Who's Lord Marvel?" asked Frank.
"Strongest man on our planet," said Miguel. "My half-brother. We fought over personal matters."
"I'm guessing he won't be part of your army?" asked Bruce.
"No way," scoffed Miguel.
"Sounds familiar," said Bruce and Clark.
"Yep," said Peter, as he drinks to that.
"Miggy, I think we should let this fight between you settle..." said Anne.
"No," said Miguel. "No! No... Can't... It's too... It's too ugly... between the two of us..."
"God..." sighed Anne, facepalming. "It's as if you two are broken up or something. Only that it's your brother and it's creepy that I made that analogy just now.Miguel! Lord is your brother! Bruthas forever, right-?"
"Don't!Don't... say that..."
"I suggest we prepare a war!" smiled Vegeta. "AND DESTROY THIS 'UNBREAKABLE' STEFAN!!! CALL HIMSELF UNBREAKABLE FOR ALL I CARE!!! I'LL BREAK HIM DOWN UNTIL HIS DICK GOES NUMB MY GOD DID THAT SOUND GAY!!! BUT I DON'T CARE BECAUSE MY NIPPLES ARE HARD!!!" Vegeta shows off his nipples and for some reason, he's shirtless. "LOOK AT THEM!!! LOOK AT HOW MY NIPPLES BUUULGE!!!"
Goku and Saitama stare at them.
"Fuck both of you! Neither of you is worthy to look!" cried Vegeta.
"Why the hell did this strange screaming man take off his shirt?" asked Miguel.
"We're a Saya Genie!" smiled Goku.
"He means Saiyan!" yelled Vegeta. "For fuck's sake, Kakarot! It's been over twenty fucking years!"
"Counting the Piper Bulbic Tie-?"
"FUCK OFF!!!"
"Oh... those monkey people that branched away from the Fortisite evolutionary cycle," said Quill. "They evolved from the same race of Fortisites who left Fortis and colonized and fornicated with a planet of slug monkeys called 'Plant' now called 'Vegeta'..."
"Yes. It was destroyed by a Korudan Lord who I became a slave for and practically became my only father figure in my life," said Vegeta. "Oh my God..." Vegeta's eyes quivered. "Freeza is my father..."
"And I beat him!" smiled Goku.
"But my seed killed him, Kakarot," said Vegeta. "Oh, God... He's the boy's and the princess's Grandfather..."
"My kid killed Cell!" yelled Goku.
"My seed killed him, too!" yelled Vegeta. "AND HE KILLED YOU!!!"
"That was Dark Me!" yelled Goku.
"Girls, girls... Calm down already!" sighed Yuki. "Sheesh! We've all watched Dragon Ball!"
"I haven't, and I've been spoiled," said Dark.
"HA!!!" laughed Hercules.
"I have a question," said Jotaro.
"Yes?" asked Miguel.
"How do we get there, exactly? In what modes of transportation do we use? We can't use this guy twice." Jotaro places a tortoise on the table.
"Hello," smiled Polnareff.
"This is Jean Pierre Polnareff," said Jotaro. "He is a Stand-User that we can use as a vehicle. Sort of like a mecha-armor."
"I had a lover named Polnareff," said Miguel. "Also... did that turtle just talk?"
"That's... weirdly unorthodox to say in this kind of situation..."
"You didn't answer my question.But I can say that we have weapons invented by Rick Sanchez..." Miguel takes out a portal gun. "It allows you to teleport around universes by just thinking it. It runs by Portal Fluid made of Speed Force Lightning."
"So... he invented this," said Bruce, taking out his own.
"Did you say Speed Force Lightning?" asked Barry.
"I take it you're a Speedster?" sighed Miguel. "You guys are pretty damned bizarre if you ask me...Superheroes in spandexes..."
"We stand for truth and justice," smiled Clark.
"We're Manga-Killers!" smiled Deadpool.
"Pfft! No, you're not!" laughed Vegeta.
Meanwhile... At the Edge of Everything...
"What about this book, Author? This is a Manga-Killer? Right?"
Ehe... Eheh... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! AHA!!! WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! "We're a manga-killer! Ooh! This fanfiction is so cool!" AHAHAHAHA!!!Ha...Prometheus, I chose a platform where K-Drama and cringey romantic fan fiction rules supreme. I'm practically Blue Sky Studios in a land ruled by Korean Disney. Now, I'm planning to post this in Fanfiction Land.
"That's why you're planning to kill everyone?"
Hm... Actually right now... I don't feel like killing off these guys. I'll kill off some people, though... But others? I guess they'd survive.Huh... It's like... my heart... feels... bad to kill them...
PFFT!!! NAH!!!
Meanwhile...
Miguel looks at the group. "You guys," he said. "You guys are from comic books, right?"
"Wait... Wade wasn't shittin' us?" asked Frank. "All these stupid delusions of us being in comic books is real!?"
"No. In my Earth, you guys are well-known mythical Superheroes from the American page."
"I told you! Ever since I was transported to the Edge of Everything by that Michael Jackson-lookin' fella and I suddenly had the ability to talk to the guys and gals reading this!"
"Who?" asked Frank.
"Well... Technically, I doubt anyone is reading this but... You know! What was his name? Beyond Man? Beyonder? I don't know! Some guy with cool 80's clothes."
"Whose comics is better?" asked Wade.
"Theirs," Miguel pointed to Bruce, Diana, and Clark. "But your cinematic universe is better."
"We have a cinematic universe!?" asked Peter.
"You both do!" laughed Josuke.
"Whoa..." said Wade and Peter.
"Okay... So a rich orphan in a Halloween costume who beat the shit out of the currently most powerful enemy we'd face, a Goddess-Amazon hybrid who is an incel, the world's most powerful man who's scared of rocks, a spider kid whose powers are kinda creepy when you think about it, a soldier who lost his family and kills people for it and has serious issues, a half-Celestial who can manipulate matter who has mommy and daddy issues, the fastest man alive who lives in a life of a soap opera who relies on motivational speeches, and a fourth-wall-breaking human ragdoll who cracks annoying jokes?"
"What about them!?" asked Wade.
"All of those guys are way more powerful than any of you combined," said Miguel. "Time-Stopper. A guy who can literally reset any action to zero, thus immune to anything. Three powerhouses. Two powerful psychics-..."
"Uh..." said Reigen. "Yeah! Two... POWERFUL psychics! Reigen Arataka!" Reigen hands Miguel a card. "My card!"
"-... and a Godkiller."
"Most of which I know how to brutally eviscerate," said Bruce.
"'Most,'" snickered Diana.
"Don't," Bruce gave Vegeta a terrifying look.
"He's a Saiyan! He can't regrow his tail!" yelled Miguel.
"Nth Metal," said Bruce.
"What about the One Punch Man?" asked Miguel.
"He's depressed! I'm surprised he hasn't killed himself yet! Easy to manipulate, says my Overlord! Hey Baldy! You lack a sense of humor!" yelled Vegeta.
Saitama bows his head in sadness.
"How about your Overlord?" asked Miguel.
"The man did things to me that I can never comprehend..." sobbed Vegeta.
"He just pulled your tail!" yelled Miguel.
"I WAS SO HUMILIATED!!! DEFEATED BY A LOWLY HUMAN!!!" yelled Vegeta. "He is now my ruler and I am now his bitch."
"I don't consent to this," said Bruce.
"Respect your bitch, Bruce," said Clark.
"Fuck off, Clark," said Bruce.
"Boys," said Diana.
"Yo," said Clark, as he offered a high-five to Barry.
"Okay!" smiled Barry, high-fiving Clark.
"I honestly would like him to rip out my clothes and-..." said Vegeta.
"Vegeta!" yelled Goku. "Save some for the afterparty!"
"Jesus Christ," Frank facepalms.
"Don't shoot in my Goddamned Glazed fish scale tiles anymore, asshole," Miguel pointed at Frank because he spotted Frank grabbing his holster.
"You people are idiots," said Gappy. "Goddamnit... Am I... Am I just another one of infinite versions of Jotaros out there? Who am I but a speck of an infinite amount of other Jotaros? Who am I!?"
Note: Oh... SBR Josuke can also be called Gappy. Right...
"Oy," said Star Josuke. "Chill, Gappy."
"I'll call you Duwang," smiled Prince Josuke.
"Why, though?" asked Duwang Josuke.
"Why not?" smiled Prince Josuke.
"I, Giorno Giovanna, had a weird fever dream similar to this..." said Giorno.
Note: Fine! They are now Gappy and Duwang! God! I just cannot decide!
Miguel looks around, cringing and horrified by the bizarreness of the situation. A dinner table full of variants and Superheroes all cracking jokes at each other as if they've known each other for years. Miguel stood at the center of this madness, and the fifteen other-worlders, all laughing at each other and/or berating each other. That... was a lot of "each other-s..."
"Hay Naku... Honestly God... Give me a Goddamned break..."
Gabrielle, who sits alone in the living room, sighs while watching Spongebob Squarepants.
"Sweetie?" asked Miguel, seeing Gabrielle, curled up and holding her knees on the sofa. "You okay?"
"Daddy's gonna go on another mission and leave me again, huh?"
Raphael, his Chimpanzee son, looks at Miguel. "She's feeling down lately," he said in sign language.
"Sweetie... You know that I'll always come back," smiled Miguel, sitting next to her.
"But... For five months you've been with us... Why are you going away again?" asked Gabrielle.
"Because Daddy has to take care of things that people need me to fight for," said Miguel.
"Are you fighting for me, too?"
"Of course, sweetheart," Miguel kisses her head and cheek as she giggles, being tickled by his nose.
"Hey, Daddy? Can we play Grimms and Dragons again?" smiled Gabrielle.
"Sure, sweetheart..." laughed Miguel.
Anne sees Miguel feeling troubled.
Miguel offers her a stone. "Keep this, okay?" asked Miguel. "I was gonna give it for your birthday... But I decided that it'd be better if I give it to you now..."
"What is it?" smiled Gabrielle.
"That's for you to find out," smiled Miguel.
Later...
Miguel bobs his head over and over as he sat at the empty table.
"Hey, Miggy?" Anne walked into the room.
"Yeah?" Miguel asks, turning to Anne.
"I have a weird feeling... Like... my Stand, Strength, is telling me something..." said Anne. "As if when we get into this fight... There will be consequences... Massive consequences."
"Anne... Trust me. I know what I'm doing... I think..."
"Don't go, Miguel... I have a feeling that people... We'll lose people... Miguel. You have an 8-year-old daughter... If we lose her... If we lose you..."
"Hey... Anne... It's okay! I'll stop time in time... I promise." Miguel grabs her hands, both cold and trembling.
"Fate is finally clashing with everything we've ever done... We... We shouldn't have fought Salvi. Because now..."
"Fighting Salvi gave me the three of you... Gave me Josuke and the boys... Made me who I am..." smiled Miguel. "I have a strange feeling... That whatever should happen... is what we're going to do."
Anne stares at him with concern.
"I'm tired... Anne... I am so tired, too... But... I still have some fight left in me."
"The whole world hates you..."
"And they'll continue to hate me... But I have to fight Stefan. It's my destiny... I believe that it is..."
"And if you lose?" asked Anne.
"Then... I don't know..." Miguel replies. "I've been losing for a while now... But every time I lose... I come back to knock them down."
Anne hugs Miguel, teary-eyed. "Promise me to get home to us..."
"I will..." Miguel smiled, teary-eyed.
Raphael's eyes went teary as well... He feared something bad would happen...
Raphael climbed back upstairs.
Raphael entered Gabrielle's room.
Raphael speaks in sign language. "Gabrielle..."
"Yeah?" whispered Gabrielle.
"I think Dad will do something stupid."
"We should call him."
"Who?"
"Uncle Lord," Gabrielle clenched her fists.
"That's a bad idea," said Raphael in sign language. "Something tells me... that... that's a bad idea. It's gonna cause some losses, Gabrielle. Trying to avoid fate would end up killing the person you're trying to protect."
"I just think... it's the right thing to do. Do you trust me, Kuya?"
Raphael stares at his little sister and sighs. "Yes. Yes, I do."
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