บท 163: 163. Lord Marvel ~Civil War~
"The Ark of the Covenant can bring dead people back!?" asked Lei.
"Yeah!" smiled Lord.
Everyone from Weeb Town is in the coffee shop listening to Lord's story.
Rick squints his eyes. "Okay... Where did you learn this information from?"
Lord smiles and gives him a paper written in Latin.
The last words written in it was the word, "Resurrectionem."
"And... where did you find this?" asked Rick.
"From... the Grimm Diaries!" Lord smiled nervously.
Rick brushes his nearly-grown beard as he squinted his eyes, staring at Lord with suspicion.
"That's pretty fucking sus, Lord," said Zed.
"Yeah? Well, it's all true! It says here that we can bring them all back! Jessica! Mom! Your mom! Your brother! Everyone you've ever lost! Rick! You've lost someone, right?"
Rick's eyes quivered. "Tch-... Fine. What do we need."
"We need one of the Arks. That's it," said Lord. "If we do this, we could bring just about anyone back!"
"Are... you sure what you're doing, Lord?" asked Lei.
"Yes, I am! A hundred percent sure, even!" smiled Lord. "We can bring anyone we lost back!"
"This'll be treason," said Van. "We'll all get arrested by the state over this."
"But it's for a good cause! He'll understand! We'll just sneak in there and borrow it!" smiled Lord.
"Lord... that's stealing from the Government," said Lei. "We can't just waltz in there and steal a prized artifact that can destroy the entire Universe."
"They won't know! Trust me!" smiled Lord.
"Lord, please... This is dangerous," said Lei, standing up. "We have no idea what the Ark is capable of. And Miguel knows just about everything that happens in the seven worlds."
"They won't know!" smiled Lord.
"Lord, listen!" yelled Morty.
"Look..." said Lord.
"I don't think that's such a good idea..." said Star.
"I NEED THE GODDAMNED ARK!!!" Lord slammed the table.
Everyone stared at Lord.
"If I don't have that Ark, I won't be able to bring back my mother..." said Lord. "Everyone here lost people..."
Everyone bows their heads in contemplation.
Ryle sighs.
Lei's eyes quivered.
Star clenched her fists.
Zed crosses his arms and looked away.
Yang facepalms.
Celine hides her face on the table.
Van covers his eyes with his hat.
Morty looks at Rick, who drinks from his flask.
Steven's eyes quivered as well.
Do'Bumsha sneers.
Lord sighs. "I'm only trying to bring our families back... Everything we are... everything we've become... We're a family! I don't want to have anyone take it away from us! We need to work together to bring everyone we've lost back!"
"Good thing the cops found you in the woods. We got so worried," said Anne, who was preparing tea.
Miguel stayed smiling.
"You're in an awfully good mood today," smiled Anne.
"Eh," Miguel shrugged. "I guess... I guess I found bliss for once."
"Oh my God, you're divorcing me," said Anne, shivering. "I swear! It was just for the parking ticket! I didn't mean to flirt my way out of getting arrested! Whenever that happens you get mad at me, and-!"
"What!? No!" yelled Miguel. "I have closure with my father, Anne!"
"Oh," smiled Anne.
"What parking ticket?" asked Miguel. "That's the twentieth time!"
"IT'S NOT MY FAULT FOR PARKING IN 'NO PARKING' SPACES!!!" yelled Anne, stomping upstairs.
"THIS IS BURNHAM, ANNE!!! EITHER YOU PARK PROPERLY OR YOU WALK HOME IN DEBT TO THE GOVERNMENT!!!" yelled Miguel.
"YOU ARE THE GOVERNMENT!!!"
"THAT ISN'T MY FAULT!!! BLAME SOCIETY OR THE COMMUNISTS OR WHATEVER!!!"
*beep beep beep*
Miguel's watch's alarm goes off. "The hell?"
Miguel checks his watch. "Hello? Computer? What's going on?"
"Intruder alert. Intruder alert. Someone is taking the Ark of the Covenant."
"What!? Who!?" asked Miguel. "We killed the Monster Emperor six months ago! Quite literally everyone who sought for it is either arrested or dead! What? Dark decided to bring back his mother or something stupid like that?"
"It isn't Dark, sir," said the computer. "It's-..."
Meanwhile...
Lord briskly breaks down the facility's metal door, whistling, "Lollipop" as he walked in and grabbed the Ark of the Covenant. "See? It's all good!"
Weeb Town (not including Van) follows after.
"All the guards are knocked out," said Lei. "Rick? Portal gun!"
Rick burps and takes out his portal gun. He tries to pull the trigger.
It flickers.
It's not working.
"What the hell?" asked Rick.
"I disabled Dimensional Travel on this Earth..."
Miguel, Anne, Kariel, Ghost Jedan, and Yoshiko land before them through Miguel's time-stop.
"What do you idiots think you're doing?" asked Miguel. "Using the Ark one more time is a bad idea..."
"And why is that?" asked Lord. Lord sniffs. "Ooh! What is that? Burning garments. Because someone's pants are on fire."
"You can make that terrible joke but you don't understand Joe Mama jokes?" asked Ghost Jedan.
"Jedan, shut up," sighed Miguel. "Lord... We already have our happy ending. What the hell are you still searching for? "
"I want my Mom back!" yelled Lord.
"So do I, Lord!" yelled Miguel. "But you can't bring back people."
"Yes, you can!" yelled Lord. "And you know it!"
"What!?" asked Kariel. "Kuya?" Kariel turns to his brother.
"How do you know about that?" asked Miguel, squinting his eyes. He bows his head slightly.
"Wait... it's all true!?" asked Rick. "You've been lying to us, JoJo!?"
"How... do you know about that?" Miguel asked, sternly.
Lord bit his lip.
"That doesn't matter," said Lord. "What matters is that you know for a fact that you can bring dead people back to life!"
"You have to exchange something important to you to do so, Lord," said Miguel.
"That's why I'll exchange my Stand and my powers," said Lord. "Something you never did!"
"Lord... you don't know the full truth," said Miguel. "Bring back the Ark and we'll sort this out. Now.We know for a fact that the Ark is too dangerous to use."
"Miguel! We can bring back literally anyone!" yelled Lord.
"No you can't," said Miguel. "And you should trust my own words when I say so."
"Oh! Sure! Like our Dad never loved you either?" asked Lord. "I saw the tape."
Miguel's eyes widen. "Huh..."
"I wasn't mentioned..." Lord squinted his eyes.
"I know... So this is what it's about," said Miguel.
"What is he talking about?" asked Anne.
"I'll tell you later," said Miguel. "Lord. Either you stand down or we'll make you stand down."
"Try me," Lord's eyes glow red.
*BANG*
Van's bullet is shot towards Miguel's head.
Star Platinum catches the bullet.
"Ah... shit..." said Van.
Miguel stops time.
Time resumed.
Steven, Zed, Star, Yang, Lei, Morty, Ryle, and Celine are knocked down to the ground.
Do'Bumsha punches Miguel in the face, but right before his knuckles reach his skin, Miguel blocks the attack as Star Platinum encases his body. Miguel raises his fists.
"Hay Naku..."
Miguel blasts his fist into Do'Bumsha's face as he is thrown several meters out of the facility.
Lord grabs Miguel and pins him down as Miguel flips him from behind and bashes his head on the ground.
Meanwhile, the group slowly stands up as Jedan's Hierophant blasts Emeralds toward the entire group as Lei's bubbles catch each of them.
Rick and Morty summon their Stand-Buster armors as they flew toward the Crusaders.
Yoshiko blasts missiles toward Rick and Morty as Zed creates a forcefield to block all of it.
Star Butterfly blasts several magical spells at Yoshiko. But Kariel uses All-Star to change the trajectory of the magical spells as several objects like windows, doors, and debris morph into butterflies.
Kariel uses ACT 2 to exchange fists with Kapitan Dirigma.
Yang stayed completely motionless.
"Dude!" yelled Zed.
"What!?"
"Do something!"
"But... My Stand auto-kills people."
"Oh... Right..." said Zed. "Then vaccinate them after the fight!"
"Right!" yelled Yang.
Yang prepares to launch one of his capsules.
Time stopped.
Time resumed.
Yang gets dizzy and drops to the ground.
"Nice," said Zed. Zed conjures a Charizard as the Charizard began blasting flames at the group.
Miguel grabs the Charizard's neck and snaps it as Miguel blasts Star Platinum's fists into Lord's chest.
Miguel then gets shot by Rick and Morty's Stand-Destabilizer bullets as he drops to the ground, temporarily losing his Stand.
Rick and Morty high five each other.
"STICKY FINGERS!!!"
*ZIP*
Rick and Morty's armor is zipped out of their bodies as Anne zips Morty's head off. Rick leaped backward and threw tiny eggs on the ground that transformed into tiny robot scorpions which blasted lasers from their tails toward Anne.
Anne ran left and right and stomps all the robot scorpions with her feet, charging toward Rick...
And she disappeared right in front of Rick.
"What the hell?" asked Rick.
Rick realizes where she is.
*ZIP*
*SPLAT*
Anne reemerged from Rick's back, zipping it open as she zips his head off from behind.
She lands on the ground, sighing. "Well, that was a kick in the -..."
*PEW*
*ZAP*
Anne is electrocuted by one of Rick's tasers, which launched from his ass.
"You have my respect, after all, Ass-Tazer..." whispered Rick.
"All hail Rick Sanchez," said Ass-Tazer.
Ghost Jedan blasts Emeralds toward them but Lei punches Ghost Jedan in the face with Spin-Imbued fists, making his own tentacles strangle himself.
"Choke me harder," said Jedan.
"Fucking ew!" yelled Lei, as she knocks Ghost Jedan with Oceanman's fist.
Ryle sketches the whole fight on his sketchpad.
"ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?" asked Lei.
"This is good content!" smiled Ryle.
Time stopped.
Time resumed.
Ryle drops to the ground, knocked out.
"Fucking kidding me!!!"
Steven launched his shield into Kariel's face as Kariel falls to the ground. It bounces back to Steven's hands. He launched it toward Kariel again but Kariel moves the trajectory toward a charging Kapitan Dirigma from the left.
Kapitan Dirigma ages Kariel as he begins to slowly get weaker, but Kariel uses Steven's shield to bounce it from the wall to Kapitan Dirigma's face over and over.
Steven punched Kariel as Kariel is thrown to the wall. He coughs blood and exchanges fists with Steven.
Steven, of course, lost almost immediately, with Kariel breaking his arm and sweeping his feet as he falls to the ground. Kariel then kicks Steven's face and knocks him out.
The shield retracts as an unconscious Kapitan Dirigma drops to the ground, defeated.
Lord gives Kariel a DORA Rush as Kariel offered him an ORA Rush, but Lord uses heat vision as a tiny hole is blasted into Kariel's torso. He bleeds and backs away. He falls on one knee.
"I just need that Ark..." said Lord, clenching his jaw as he grabbed Kariel's chin. "Let me have it..."
Kariel, losing blood, becomes unconscious as his hands, twitching, hang down.
Miguel, having regained his Stand, kicks Lord to the ground.
"Look, Lord... We're either doing this the easy way... or the hard way..."
Lord looks around to see that all of his and Miguel's teammates are knocked out.
"Then the hard way..." panted Lord.
"Fuck... I really... really don't wanna do the hard way..." Miguel slowly regenerated.
"Then you're not gonna like what's about to come raining down on you," said Lord. "Crazy Diamond..."
"Star Platinum..."
"GO BEYOND!!!"
"THE WORLD!!!"
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